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VOLUPTUOUS :Full of delight or pleasure to the senses : conducive to or arising from sensuous or sensual gratification.
I am Big Beautiful Woman, 5'5", 250#, long redish blonde hair, blue eyes and 42DDD. I am enjoying LIFE...living it to the best of my ability...I have learned recently life is much to short and I need to experience everyday to its fullest.
UPDATE: 6/8/2013
it was brought to my attention my profile was 9 yrs old...unfortunately im back to single as a widow...my Master/husband past away 2yrs ago...im just getting back out there and my profile is now up to date even with a new current photo...good luck everyone.
I have been in the BDSM/D/S lifetyle for 34 yrs and 24 yrs of that I have served my Master/Husband...we're now divorced... also served my Master/husband 6 yrs before the lord decided to take him from me 2 yrs ago...right now not to sure if im looking for LT, FWB, or NS will know when i find it
Do you feel you can be such a Master?
I live the lifestyle not just for the sexual encounters but I live the spirit of it. I will be loyal, faithful and obediant to my Master. I will serve him with honor, dignity, pride and respect...My life will be his ... I will willingly submit all I am to him ... mind, body, heart and soul...and for this I will earn his respect, compassion, kindness and yes eventually love...He may not love me conventionally but still the same he will love. I will see the kindness in his eyes as he disciplines me only out of his need to teach and guide me. As each stroke of the whip touches my body it is like tears from his eyes running over me...he knows the pain he inflicts is not for his pleasure or need to hurt or harm me but for his ultimate goal... pure and total submission...He will make me his to serve at his time....
Do you feel you can be such a Master?
Master, in your hands, there is healing, safety, nurturing, and a gentleness like no other. And of all the things that ever grew because of you, I may be the most grateful. No flower, not even a simple seedling could have its roots more rightly planted, could feel more deeply the care you've given. No wonder my life has flourished in your hands.
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people rather believe the worst of someone then believe that you could actually be a good person, real...it's easier to believe the negative because it is the norm then it is to believe the exception to the rule. |
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The Power of Submission
In submission we are at last free to value other people. Their dreams and plans become important to us. We have entered into a new, wonderful, glorious freedom - the freedom to give up our own rights for the good of others. For the first time we can love people unconditionally. We have given up the right to demand that they return our love. No longer do we feel that we have to be treated a certain way. We rejoice in their successes. We feel genuine sorrow in their failures. It is of little consequence that our plans are frustrated if their plans succeed. We discover that it is far better to serve than to have our own way. The touch stone for understanding submission is surrendering ones self, to deny ones self. Almost instinctively we draw back from these words. We are much more comfortable with self-fullfillment and self-actualization, than the words self-denial. Self denial conjures up in our minds all sorts of images of groveling and self-hatred. We imagine that it most certainly means rejection of our individuality and will probably lead to various forms of self-mortification.
On the contrary, when we are in service, submission, this is where our self-worth lies. Self-denial is simply a way of coming to understanding that we do not have to have our way. Our happiness is not dependent upon getting what we want but dependent in our submission and our love of service. |
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A Chance To Start
How often we wish for another chance to make a fresh beginning. A chance to blot out our mistakes and change failure into winning. It does not take a special time to make a brand new start. It only takes the deep desire to try with all our heart. To live a little better, to always be forgiving. To add a little sunshine in a world for which we're living. Never give up in despair nor think you are through. For there's always a tomorrow, A chance to start a new.
Thank you B
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------------A Letter To Myself--------------
Hi there Stranger...It's so good to see you
(as I look at myself in a mirror) I have missed you so much that every inch of me aches... You keep asking me "What's wrong?"... But I don't have any other way of describing it but "PAIN"... a pain that never goes away... I swear I'm going crazy... I haven't been touched in so long as a lover, friend or mother... I have always been that person that had to be touching, hugging, kissing, interacting with everyone... Now it just feels as though I'm dead watching the world like a ghost in the background... No one can see me, no one can hear me, no one can feel my touch... My heart, body and mind feel as if I'm going through withdrawls... not from drugs and alchol but from "LIFE"... it's the worst pain I have ever felt... I wish I knew how to get you back..the one who knew just what she wanted from life, the one who knew how to LIVE!
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I'm in a very dark place in my life...I have made some very bad life choices which the consiquences have been severe...I am not married, Iam not with anyone...when I tell people I'm not what you think I am I mean it...I am very honest about who and what I am...if there is any misconceptions it is on your part...all I ask is you believe me when I say...It is going to take a very special individual who wants to take the time and has the patients to help me in my healing..so I can once again be whole and complete...I'm not looking for away out, a place to hide or a convenience...I am looking for my everafter plain and simple...I'm sorry to those who may have misunderstood or had preconceived notions...I do not do casual, and only interested in achieveing a life time relationship...thank you for your understanding |
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MAKING CHOICES IS YOUR GREATEST POWER While your character is formed by your circumstances, your desires can shape those circumstances. The one thing over which you have absolute control is your own thoughts. It is this that puts you in a position to control your own destiny. Nature is constantly at work around you. Character and destiny are her handiwork. She gives you love and hate, jealousy and reverence. You have the power to choose which impulse you follow. At any time you can decide to alter the course of your life. No one can ever take that away from you. You can do what you want to do and be who you want to be. Your greatest power is the power to choose. |
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Don't Worry
There are two days in every week about which we should not
WORRY!
One is YESTERDAY, with it's mistakes and cares, it's aches and pains. YESTERDAY has passed forever beyond our control.
The other day is TOMORROW, with its possible adversities and blunders, until its sun rises we have no stake in TOMORROW, for it is yet unborn.
That leaves only one day TODAY!!!!
Anyone can fight the battle of just ONE DAY!
It is only when we add the burden of those two awful ETERNITIES!!
YESTERDAY and TOMORROW
that contentment will Escape US! |
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WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET
The realities of life result from many outside factors, none of which you can control. Your attitude, however, reflects the way in which you evaluate what's happening to you. It is not your situation, it's your reaction to the situation that's important. Things always seem to turn out best for those people who can make the best out of the way things turn out. Life at any time can become difficult. Life at any time can become easy. It all depends upon how you adjust yourself to life. You cannot always control your circumstances. But you can always think positive thoughts. There is nothing either good or bad, only your thinking makes it so. |
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RICHES LIE WITHIN YOU
Wealth without enjoyment is little consolation. Your real riches in life are riches of the heart and mind. Satisfaction comes when you appreciate what you have. While success is getting what you want, true happiness is wanting what you get. It's not how much you have, but how much you enjoy that truly matters. Riches lie within you, not in your material possessions. |
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VISION IS THE ART OF SEEING INVISIBLE THINGS
You don't need an explanation for everything. Recognize that there are such things as miracles, events for which there are no explanations. Later, knowledge may explain those events quite easily. The fact that you can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return are common miracles. Your duty to yourself is to believe that for which you have sufficient evidence, and to suspend your judgment when you have not. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Some things have to be believed to be seen. Don't believe in miracles, depend on them. * * * * * * * * * * * |
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Select Your Enviroment with Care
Your own positive energy will compel things to turn out the way you desire when you're surrounded by positive people. Your enviroment is your mental feeding ground from which the food that goes into your mind is extracted. Choose your enviroment with care, one that is positive, one that lifts you up and gives you wings to soar. Create favorable conditions through your association with others. Avoid people who belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can be great. We shape our buildings, thereafter they shape us. It's your friends that make your world. |
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The inhibitions of self-doubt cast a tragic shadow over too many women's lives.
Yet-no woman needs to stay in this shadow. You can come out. A power within you can change you...a power that works through the interaction of your Inner Self and your Outer Self. Your face speaks for you with a charm that is enchanting- and arresting. You truly are beautiful and because there is such a warmth surrounding you it reveals your delightful Inner Self - your lovely serenity, your natural you.
I wrote this because there are so many of us who try to hide who we truly are. There is no reason for any of us to?feel the need?to hide behind a shadow. Be true to who you are. |
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did not take offense to your stories of travel...or the way you live your life....many of us take different paths and choose different ways to experience the world around us...some of us choose to change the world in grandeur...and some of us try to change the world in our everyday living...one isn't better then the other just different...I have dedicated my life to my family whether it had been vanilla or D/S the dedication would of been the same...see my parents gave me and my siblings up to the state of Utah when i was 12yrs old .... i was in and out of foster homes and ended up on the streets as a run away until i met my husband/Master at 16yrs old.....he was only 21yrs old but knew how important my family was to me...we adopted my to younger brothers at 4 and 6 and custodial rights to my sister who was only 3 yrs my younger....the experiences i had with my family, parents had set the direction of my life forever...i knew i wanted my family...and i knew i wanted a family of my own to love and charish....you see there is one thing i think many of us as parents forget....we are given a rare gift and opportunity to change our corner of the world...these amazing spirits come to us and we can choose to raise them in love, compassion, and a desire for life, love for themselves and their fellow beings...or we can raise children with little to no regard for themselves or those around them....i have been a mother to hundreds...for every child that has walked through my door knows they are loved and one of the most amazing human beings....they know when they leave my home there will always be someone who loves them unconditionally...you see i have been one of the unwanted the discarded and if i can save one child from ever feeling that kind of pain....i will do everything in my power to do so...but in that quest to change my little corner of the world i had to sacrfice much....i have had dozen of homeless and unwanted children in my home at one time...there were times i was working 2 jobs and sleeping on the floor so that these children had a warm and secure place to sleep...i may have not experienced the world by travel or money...but i have experienced with love and compassion and giving all i am to everyone that crosses my path...you see submission is a selfless act...whether you give your all to your Master, family or those around...making sure their every need is taken care of....that they know with every fiber in them that you love and care for them...not many of us get to experience that kind of love and dedication from another.... 2yrs ago I had a terminal illness (now in remission) they sent me home with hospice, with iv's and tubes and pretty much bed ridden i lived like that for a year....one Sunday dinner all my children, grandchildren, friends and what i call my extended family (all the kids that have been apart of my family) we were eating, laughing...and as i looked in their eyes the bride that filled me...i saw my sons being loving and compassionate husbands an fathers, I could see my past, present and future in everyone of their eyes....you don't realize the difference you make how many you touch along the way...and i knew at that moment i had lived my life well....but also at that moment i knew it wasn't my time...i am sharing this with you just because it is my time now....to do what is needed to make me feel complete and whole again....i have felt a since of darkness and loneliness since i have not been owned....and it isn't because i served for so long...but because it is who i am....i live my life for serving others.....but i am ready to start a new life...my family is grown all but Lacey...i would like to experience the world thru her eyes...i would like to experience it with "THE ONE" making new memories ...i have no regrets i loved the life i had...but i see a brighter and greater future for this time i know who i am with out a doubt and i know what i want. |
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what precisely are you seeking in a relationship, sexually, emotionally, romantically? be detailed and graphic.
it is not what i want but what needs to be for any Master/sub relationship to work for a lifetime....as the training begins as the Master strips away the layers from his sub revealing her whole self naked...he does the same he is removing his layers revealing to her his whole self naked .... both at a point of total submission both at almost an infantcy state both pure and clean...all boundries, all limits removed...everything in past lives whiped clean...here lies the secret where nature takes it course ....where the natural dominant and the natural submissive takes their place and the foundation of their relationship is formed...here they beggin their lives together as Master/slave....the first act as Master taking her making the slave his..their bodies merging as one ...the ultimate contract binding them for life...this is what i want....i want the deepest of submission and domination, i want there to be such a connection that with just a touch of my Masters hand I will know what he desires of me, with just a look i will see his desire for me...i want him to need my submission as much as i need to serve him...passion, love, commitment, mutual respect, honesty, loyalty from both...we should except nothing less we both deserve this...I am sitting here now and my chest is tight, the desire is strong and tears run down my face for i miss this so
what are you seeking in a Master? be detailed and graphic.
i am looking for someone who can understand the depth of submission i need...who understands the spirit of the lifestyle and not just the worlds view of it...one who is strong of mind, body heart and soul, one who will allow himself to be exposed and willing to form the base of a lasting relationship...many Dominates find this level of commitment unexceptable for they to at one point are at a level of submission...it takes one who knows that this isn't a sign of weakness...but it makes him a better and stronger Master....i need a Master that can show love, compassion, honesty, respect.....i need the level of commitment from him that he expects from me...without both of us truly commited it will not last...i need one who is strict...but doesn't use his powers merely to abuse...one who knows his power as Master is to be used to teach, nurture, guide his slave....my list is endless but I think you can get the just of it
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Cherish your Vision
Cherish your ideals
Cherish the music that stirs in your
heart
The beauty that forms in your mind
The Loveliness that drapes your purest thought
If you remain true to them
Your world will at last be built. |
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"My personal journey in this lifestyle is just a little longer than yours in terms of years, but while you've been with one Master, I've had several long term relationships but none really caught on totally to the understanding that you have of the love and closeness that can only exists in the Master/slave relationship."
WE do share many of the same opinions of the D/S...bdsm lifestyle and how a Master/sub, slave relationship should start and how it should be nurtured and cared for...you are very eliquent in your words and can feel the passion you have for these things....as do I...
my love, passion and need to serve overwhelms me....but because of the wonderful Master/sub relationship I shared for 24 yrs it has allowed me the faith to know that I will be able to subbmit once again with every fiber of my being and as you put it find "The One" that will take this gift and treat it as such. Our possiblities in this lifestyle can be endless if we only remember "We are not seperate from spirit, we are in it"
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Hi there. I was just reading your comments about honesty. I couldn't agree more only it isn't just the Doms, there are plenty of subs/slaves out there who haven't a shred of honesty about them.
Very true and I should make a note of that...in my search there are just as many jaded Dom's that have been mislead by dishonest Subs/slave who for some reason find the need to lie about who they are and misrepresent themselves....some giving themselves the title and not even having a clue what it means or what it intels....and for them I am sorry for they will never know the true gratification of pure and total submission. The fakes or the so called pretenders make our search for that which is real to us even that more difficult. |
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I have been used and abused by Doms/masters how misrepresent themselves....I left my Master nieve
of the ways of how people have misused the lifestyle...Giveing themselves the title for their own gain with little to no reguard to the individuals they may have hurt or even distroyed in the path for selfgratification....I am leary and full of sorrow for all I want is honesty and can't seem to find it. I want real...I want to serve another life time with a Master that deserves such trust and service....I need to be whole again and the only way I am is when I am cleveing to my Masters side.
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| Age: 23 |
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California |
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