Single, and not looking for relationship or sex. Friends, if there are who sincerely seek it, are welcome. Index of my Alt blog **HERE** to see if we connect as friends; but MORE relevant these days: my personal LovingIntensity.com website. Look at yourself, your needs, society, and this world with open eyes, an outside the box mind, and a caring heart - doing all at the same time is the hard part :)
Friends welcome and sub women (and any Thinking Person) check out my personal, 100% NON-commercial website LovingIntensity.com with Essays, philosophy, and my own Erotica about which many women have said very nice things
Intelligent, sensual, empathic, loving, yet Intense Dom. Whether as potential friend or more, if mind, heart, and emotions matter to you, see one of the most classy sites out there on BDSM, with my own essays and erotic stories is my personal (100% Non-commercial) site you'll be glad you looked at: LovingIntensity.com (old site IntenseLoving soon removed) ,com .. I put my heart & soul into it. Scores of women have said very nice things about the erotica I've penned, so why not have a read? Hope you enjoy :-) But like my essays, they are also is a window into my mind and heart, and might help novices and more experienced subs alike in their own journey into the heart of D/s: the mental/emotional/psychological angles. Website also has about me including copies of my Alt profile (Carpe_Eros) and more.
Turn-ons include: women who are intelligent, thinking, and thoughtful (one can be intelligent without being either of the latter, which are more important than the first alone) and who understand that compassion and caring are not only key but are a true 'radical departure' - instead of seeing gentleness and empathy and softness (including at certain times in a Dom) as bad or naive, which is what our culture unfortunately teaches, so reproducing the same attitudes in BDSM is anything but radical.
You need to also be ok or better, happy about this too: don't expect narrow stereotypical male behavior from me. Just because I can be a geek, or feminist, egalitarian at times, doesn't prevent me from utterly making the woman my slut-slave at other times, and making her feel she's mine all the time.
Turn-ons also include women who do not buy into the idea that just because they are female, or subs, means they should never make first contact on a website like this (hint, hint). If there are real things in common after seeing my website, why not contact me even if it's for "just" friendship. Whether it's destined to be more than friendship or not, respectful friendship is never a "just."
If you're read this far, please do have a look at my growing collection of essays, erotica, and more at Lovingintensity.com If the above intrigues you, you will not regret taking the time to explore the website, there's nothing quite like it on the web. I also welcome just friendly hellos from any potential friend - thinkers, cerebral, quirky, who don't think being polite, gentle, and kindness are a sign of weakness: the mainstream culture (TV etc) is toxic, so it's not just sexuality where more progressive alternatives may be preferred.
7/5/2015 1:36:48 PM
Some questions: Do you know who you are, what you need, your strengths, your challenge areas? More important: Do you regularly invest time, trying to (v. honestly, even if uncomfortable) ask yourself these questions to gain self knowledge? Is the Dom of your dreams human or fantasy? Anyone will say "I'll do anything to find my soulmate" but "anything" so often does NOT the above, nor does it seem to include life- and time- and weight- and stress-management.. it so often even fails to include "work on the relationship, work on Communications skills" and right back to "it's his job to read my mind" or "it's his job to..." or "I'll work on this some other time.." Being gentle with yourself is important, and "I'll wait until next week" or the one after (sometimes) makes sense. Instead, so easy to delay real work month after month, indefinitely..
5/29/2015 6:06:11 PM
My personal website (100% NON-commercial - and no ads on it either - my fourth "profile picture" here on Collarspace is a screenshot) with Essays, Letters from Readers, and Erotica (given much praise from women over the years) and more about me, has moved from the old domain name (intenseloving) to the new more elegant one: Lovingintensity.com
9/25/2012 10:57:13 AM
"Can punish, but also gives tender comfort when needed; can eat pussy with passion, can put your mind/body into erotic humiliation (within limits) and can cook a damn fine, delicious but healthy meal for you/us..how many other Doms can say that?" Just added this to my Alt profile. Maybe should add "If profile meshes well with you, don't be shy: message me" Anyway, still doesn't read quite as I want, but conveys intended essence, one hopes..
9/25/2012 10:24:44 AM
Seems that fantasy trumps reality for many. Not talking about "my own fantasies are v. powerful/creative" (though that's true) but many subs out there w/little experience think they want to jump into heavy stuff, day one.
Mature subs will understand that my gentle/patient side doesn't mean I can't or won't go heavier later (I mean mostly psychologically/emotionally but also physically). I can and will. But it's the difference between a Dom (or "Dom") who's just selfish versus one who cares. Do "Nice Doms" finish last? Only with subs who are not mature enough to understand that a Dom of substance will make her (and himself) wait for some things (while, yes, sometimes also pushing her to go faster in other area, at other times)
But does the Dom who is in control of himself and has a gentle side have something special to offer the more experienced sub? Yes, if they understand the analysis of my only half-jokingly titled essay "The D/s Theory of Relativity" Cliff Notes preview: She may think she wants to soak in 104 degree "water" of BDSM, and she might (or might not) be right, but what she really needs is intensity, not a fixed 'temperature' of BDSM activities. Skillfully working through the mental-psychological-emotional aspects of D/s and putting her arm or body into cold water (still with the metaphor?) and even 99 degree water might feel to her as if it's 105 or hotter. One can always go to 104 later if needed. Without the D/s theory of relativity, one not only risks safety but also risks a superficial jumping or thrill-seeking with whip #83 and bondage type #47 seeking the new, the novel, and (like a shopaholic in our consumption obsessed culture) never truly satisfied.
A gentle but intense Dom that understands this and other aspects of the "D/s Theory of Relativity" (full version by end of 2012 on my IntenseLoving.com) can bring the experienced sub to new peaks and plateaus she though were only possible through (or not even possible with) edgeplay, not just safer but more satisfying, ultimately, in the long term.
Something to think about in our modern fast-paced world where running faster and faster to just stay in place, without ever (or rarely, anyway) finding real satisfaction, applies to a lot more than just shopping or watching TV/movies, but wider parts of our culture - certainly sexuality in general, but also to D/s (or BDSM) specifically...