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Well, I had my heart broken. I suppose there's a first time for everything and this wasn't a pleasant first.

If anyone's interested, I'm sticking the rough details of my relationship experiment into my journal. Since nobody IS interested, I'll put it there as a sort of record or testament or something. The rest of my old profile is below.
And the third pic is the most recent one. Yes, red IS my natural hair color, and yes, I have a penchant for cheesiness. I like to think it's charming.

Good God, I'm getting old. When did that happen?
It's always better to maintain a realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. I'm an atheist libertarian, following in the tradition of Penn Jillette. I firmly believe that the federal government should exist at the barest possible minimum, just above anarchy. I believe in performing ethical actions because it's the right thing to do for logical reasons. I don't feel that a supernatural deity needs to have anything to do with that and I don't believe one exists. Feel free to argue with me, I love solid arguments.
I'd love nothing better than to be a writer; making meat-head fantasy novels. A warrior poet in a time when such things are non-existent. I work out and exercise 4-5 times a week, as intensely as I can, why? Because its great fun to me.
I read, constantly. Literature is my pure bread and butter. Admittedly, its mostly geek, though I do branch off into philosophy, Chuck Palahniuk, and cliche chick romance novels from time to time.
I'd say I like music... but then, everyone likes music, so that's a completely bullshit, pointless statement. :-)
I have a dark, brooding side that tends to be very narcissistic and philosophical. I also have a cynical, campy, humorous side that tries to divine all kinds of conspiracy theories. Then I have my blatant love of life side, where I travel around with a goofy grin, pleased to be alive. As I'm fortunately that way about 80% of the time, I'm pretty bearable.
My BDSM interests are many and varied, and I enjoy having my limits pushed, but I try to avoid sadism in any extreme. As a person I tend to be confident, energetic, and humorous. I like to think I'm intellectual and philosophical. Don't we all?
What am I seeking? Hmmm. What are any of us seeking? Experiences. I now know that my life won't be complete without at least a little kink in it. I seek to find that drug we all call bondage and indulge myself in a gluttonous orgy of control games.
Too many interesting people out there, and not enough time. Good luck and happy hunting, all you searchers out there, I hope you find what you're looking for.
Peace, love, life, music, and try to avoid crabs or the clap. WARNING: Any institution or person using this site or any of its associated sites - You do not have my permission to use any of my pictures, information from my profile, or anything I post in any of the forums or groups on this website in any form or forum both current or future without prior written consent. You do not have my permission to copy, save, print, or re-post my pictures or information without prior written consent. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to all legal remedies.

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4/18/2014 9:14:38 AM

Back when I was a kid, I wanted to be a banker.
But then I lost interest.

I also wanted to be a carpenter.
But then I got bored.

 

I used to work at a nail factory.
But then I got screwed.

 

I know, right? BOO!!! Boooo on the awful puns and bad jokes! Boo!

But it made you snicker a little bit, didn't it?


12/19/2013 5:12:51 PM

I am being stalked by a very determined, very bored, almost shockingly dumb weirdo.

I probably SHOULD be worried, but this individual is so out of touch with reality that it's more.... creepy than dangerous or worrisome.

 

I'm less worried that she'll do damage to my life and more worried that she'll boil a bunny on my lawn in a trash can or something.

 

Collarme, this is getting really creepy, can you do something?


12/19/2013 3:24:21 PM

This is a weird website sometimes. It's been..... Eh, MOSTLY beneficial to me over the years. Around 85%... ish.

I've noticed that I tend to use collarme as an on-again, off-again journal entry. Not because anyone is really, SERIOUSLY reading it, but because it's a good way of getting things off my mind, remembering jokes, and roughly chronicling what was going on with me at the time.
Back when this website was relatively fresh, I recall thinking it was nice to chat with fellow kinksters, but as time has gone on, I've noticed a weird couple of things that seem relatively isolated to collarme(even though I'm certain they're not).

 

1. Psychotic, rude idiots confuse their mental problems with dominance. I've never really understood the inclination to submit to a rude asshole, but hey! Different strokes for different folks, right? To be fair, there's a LOT of people that confuse being submissive with being boring, lazy, and unassertive. 

2. Some (theoretical)dommes put Princess in front of their name as though that made them attractive or desirable. To ME, Princess is an excellent way of saying "I may not be intelligent, passionate, interesting, determined, or capable, but I would LOVE to not work!"

 

Random thoughts and complaints.

Oh yes, and don't you just LOVE when someone starts insulting you, but then gets huffy when the insults are returned? Block ME for telling you you're being a shithead, will you!?

This is a weird site, man. The quality of people on here just keeps dropping and dropping. That's not a good sign.


11/13/2013 3:22:19 PM

Hockey was fun and the company was good. A great time was had by all, and our team won. I've never given a shit about hockey before or likely since, but since the home team won, the crowd went wild and there was a lot of random yelling over rules, goals, and etiquette I had no comprehension of. A lot less fighting than my first hockey game, too, which was a shame.

 

BUT, as a pleasant side note, I'm slowly noticing my personal kinkiness dial being turned from "famine" to "feast".... And that's a nice, encouraging change of pace. There's new things to try and I'm looking forward to them. It makes me feel like I've been too hard on myself.

 

This is a strange time in my life, but not an unpleasant one. There's new friends and surprising stability and events to look forward to. It's nice to feel my life become continually more liveable and social.


11/8/2013 3:41:39 PM

Just feeling a little down and out tonight. Just a tad lonely and craving the peace of submission. I wish there were more dommes in the area, and it wasn't such a beggars market out here.

It's very frustrating needing a domme and not having one.


*sigh* *deep breath* Oh well, enough self-pity. Time to get ready for hockey!
Last time I went to watch a hockey match there was a fistfight in literally 5 seconds. They went 19th century British pugilist style, too.... You know what I mean? With the knuckles facing the other person?

 

At first I thought they were doing a silly little safety presentation or something for the audience, but NOPE... 4 seconds later they're pulling each other's shirt over the other's head and trying to clobber both fists into a person who is ALSO on ice skates.

Hilarious doesn't begin to describe this stuff.


10/20/2013 8:05:28 PM

Look up Brodyquest on youtube. It's weird and catchy.

I'm not sure if there's a point, but I don't mind.


10/19/2013 4:35:19 PM

Huh.... Wow. Someone I thought was a friend exploded at me, wrote a vile lie as a journal entry, and blocked my request that she remove the entry.

It's so unbelievably rude, I'm blown away by the sheer pettiness of all this. It's something I would never dream of doing to a friend. Even an ex-friend.


8/14/2013 8:20:06 AM

You know... call it a guilty pleasure, but it's fun annoying whores. 
Especially when they block you for calling them a whore. :-P 
It's petty and also giggleworthy. 


8/13/2013 1:55:46 PM

I'm so screwed.... and I HATE being screwed. 

 

I HATE it... and I hate that there's no chance of recovery. 

That's rhetorical, btw. Feel free to tell me to get a job at Home Depot and quit whining, though.... 

 

But goddamn... how do people get through their lives?


1/21/2013 8:20:45 PM

It's been a long while since I've written in this. I don't really mind the absence. I've just used this a few too many times as my journal to quit now. This silly little bondage website has detailed my ups and downs, my ins and outs, my drunken binges and bizarre insights and ferocious emotions and quirky philosophies.

 

And it's easily seen my dark side.

 

There's a part of me, a minor but irritatingly consistent part of me that continually advocates surrender, in whatever form that may depressingly offer. But, every other aspect of me refuses to give in. That's just the man I am. Maybe that's kinda how humans act. Who knows?

 

And I now have another potential soul mate. I love her for her willingness to face me head on.

And I'm terrified. I feel like I'm without options, that my ferocity and personal opinion and intellect don't mean anything.

I feel like a man without any control over his personal situation.... and I don't know what to do about it, other than wait, continue to be the man I am, and hope for the best.

 

Which is a TERRIBLE idea, especially considering my past, but I don't really have any other options BUT to trust this girl, this woman, this Valkyrie. 

 

I'm exhausted. I wish I were otherwise. I wish I had purpose, power, and promise... Not to mention sexiness. I'd even settle for ambition at this point.

 

I feel like I have nothing to offer this girl, other than the tattered remnants of a once-possibly-great-man.

 


9/27/2012 12:01:23 AM

"The prison's creative writing teacher told us several times that the pen was mightier than the sword. It was easy to believe her until one day an inmate used his pen as a sword and our class size was reduced by two."


8/9/2012 11:53:58 PM

Our society will never love men like me. I'm too... Smart? Independent? Cynical? Indecisive? Broke?

When our society wants a dominant, chivalric(and rich) male who's always and eternally interested in helping and assisting the American princess, I want nothing to do with that.

Our society does not reward kind, intelligent submission. It rewards wealth.

Our society does not reward sexual skill or intellectual merit. It rewards wealth.

 

Our society does not congratulate independence or personal worth.

It rewards wealth.

The kindest and smartest individual you know is likely a virgin.

The fattest, fugliest douchebag with a big bank account gets FAR more action than someone like me.

That douchebag you meet in the gym or the gas station with a ridiculous soul patch and his daddy's car will have more women than the nicest person you ever meet in a library. Morally ugly wealth succeeds over honest, clever poverty 99 times out of a 100.

Our culture is sick... and I see no end in sight.


6/4/2012 2:35:20 AM

Where are you?


5/18/2012 4:20:49 PM

"The problem with internet quotes is that many of them are fake."

 

Abraham Lincoln.


2/15/2012 4:49:53 PM

I'm growing quite fond of my new local munch group. 

They're actually very diverse, with interests ranging from psychological domination to sadists, masochists, wax enthusiasts and rope sluts.

Plus, spanksters and the mildly curious and MALE SUBS AS FAR AS THE EYE COULD SEE, CAPN'!

 

Hardly surprising, but mildly annoying. Not that any of them were bad people, I'm just not surprised by a number disparity anymore. Actually, more than a few were quite cool dudes.

 

OH, and we shouldn't forget a surprising number of skeezy dudes! Can't forget about them!


2/8/2012 4:30:44 PM

Looking for a domme, looking for a domme, looking for a domme!

Not gonna find one but looking for a domme!

Too many mercenaries, too many prostitutes, too many merchants!

There certainly aren't any goddamn dominant kinky women out in this area! That's for fucking sure. Or, if they're here, they're staying so quiet, so scared, that I can't find them.

It's FRUSTRATING above all things.


2/8/2012 1:26:59 PM

The movie Chronicle was goddamn awesome. For 15 million dollars, it's an amazingly crafted movie, with good writing and actors and a solid plot and interestingly done special effects.... I don't think I can say enough good things about this movie. It was impressive as hell, and the only real complaint about it that I have is that there's not enough of it. It's a tiny film at 90 minutes, but it's SO solid and engaging.

 

I know that I've been sucked into a movie when I wonder what's going to happen next and how things will resolve. So many movies are schlock these days, which makes this tightly woven, artfully crafted movie a real gem to be treasured.


1/29/2012 11:43:48 AM

Okay, another thought, then I'll move on.

I see ONE more entry of "I want a man to treat me like the goddess that I am" or anything vaguely similar, I will kill that person with a sniper rifle or old age. Whichever comes first.

 

PLEASE do your whoring elsewhere. I'm here looking for BDSM enthusiasts, not webcam prostitutes.


1/29/2012 11:39:02 AM

If anyone ever gets bored, here's a fun thing to do. Switch your collarme search engine to sub male looking for dominant female, and then put the age range in between 18-40.

 

And then try to find someone who isn't fake, pro-domme, only vaguely literate, or psychopathic in your local area.

 

Submissive men are FUCKED if you don't live on the East or West Coast areas. You're at the whim and mercy of preposterous chance or evil, self serving female shitbags.


1/4/2012 12:07:57 PM

I'm coming home.


1/1/2012 1:54:39 AM

This year is going to kick ass for me.


10/13/2011 8:37:30 AM

The East Coast is a strange, strange place.

I like quite a few things about the DC area, but I'm very struck by just how many kinksters there are out here, and how unbelievably spoiled they are. :-P

 

For all of my desires and various kinks, I'm still a newbie compared to many(possibly most) of the fetish folk out here.


9/14/2011 1:37:03 PM

Whatever you do, DO NOT have phone sex.

 

You might get hearing aids....


9/14/2011 12:51:28 PM

Paralysis by over-analysis. I really must stop that.


9/12/2011 4:36:54 PM

I've come to learn the meaning of the term "sub-drop", which is an interesting little phenomena that happens the day after a BDSM session. After a night of having your hormones and various brain chemicals spiking and giving a euphoric feeling, the next day you feel lethargic, drained and (this one may just be me)a bit depressed and cranky.

 

But it was great fun getting properly tied up and subjugated again. I really missed that sensation of losing control.

Plus, the domme had a fantastic toy collection. I don't think I've ever seen a better one. Though she did scold me for being "eager", I think she'd be a bit eager after a year without domming someone, herself. I MISSED subbing, damnit.

Then again, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.


8/16/2011 9:39:08 AM

Well, I've just gotten to DC. I've been here before, and it never ceases to amaze me how pricy things are. Especially food.

 

I'm here with my new sub, and we will eventually get around to making a couple's profile. We're looking for dommes, especially ones that she'll be attracted to.

I'm a switch, she's a sub(VERY sub), and we're not averse to trying new things.

SO, any DC dommes who are interested, do give us a hello and we'll go from there. :-)

 

And ignore some of my grouchier journal entries. I'm really NOT a vicious dick, I was just pissy... For the most part anyway.


8/4/2011 6:49:59 AM

I've debated deleting the previous journals, because they're VERY full of anger and hostility and despair..... But I think I'll leave them up as a kind of record.

 

I'm leaving my home in pursuit of further adventures. East coast, here I come!

Wish me luck, those who care. :-)


7/10/2011 3:51:20 PM

The dreams I have of her are horrible. Not because they're bad dreams, but because I get reminded of how happy I was with her and around her. I'm sick to death of dreams... When you wake up, they're that much more devastating.


6/25/2011 8:44:55 PM

Oog bored, BORED! RAAARRRGGHH!!!


6/15/2011 12:02:01 AM

Good, strong, intelligent women do not exist.

I WISH they did. I don't  say that out of anger, I say that out of frustration and sadness.

Do women REALLY expect men to handle every problem?

It seems like it. I'm as sad and lost and lonely as I can be.


6/14/2011 9:17:42 PM

I miss who I was a year ago. I was fierce and witty and ambitious and I had plans.

 

I don't have.... Anything, now.

I WISH I did, but I have no hope. I feel only despair and that.... worries me.


6/14/2011 8:29:52 PM

Only the good die young. Only evil seems to last forever.


6/2/2011 7:12:16 PM

The world is full of kings and queens, to blind your eyes and steal your dreams.


5/15/2011 11:45:30 AM

About a year ago I watched the best/worst movie I've ever seen. Which is really saying something. Anyone who feels like taking a guess at the movie's title should contact me. Anyone who's interested in cheesy movies which get ridiculous should, too.

 

I'll describe, in the most basic terms possible, SOME of the elements of the Italian movie. A blond(and bad) Conan knockoff tries to find his past, and along the way, he has to fight dinosaurs, purple cave men, giant bats, robots, and the frickin' Tusken Raiders from Star Wars. Oh yea, and a comically hilarious Ming the Merciless knockoff. The movie is also vaguely, unintentionally but undeniably racist, which is both hilarious and a sign of the times and place when the film was made.

 

It's a wretched actual movie, but at no point is the movie boring. It reminds me of Army of Darkness in that respect, which is to say that it's always creative, always cheesy, and never uninteresting. I kinda miss this sort of crappy movie. We'll never see it's like again. The bad special effects were all part of the FUN, back then.


5/11/2011 6:53:57 AM

I put two years of effort into an attempted relationship which I've FINALLY given up on this morning. I'm just a foolish romantic sometimes. I really MUST stop reading fantasy novels, they continually give me too many false hopes that there are strong, intelligent, decent women out there.

I always assumed that if I was intelligent enough, kind enough, reasonable enough, and good enough, that I would.... Well.... DESERVE her, and I would get her.

But ultimately it was nothing but a sick, sad dream in a lonely man's mind.

A massive waste of time and energy which could have been dedicated to someone who wouldn't abuse me through unintentional neglect.

She's made her choice and now she's fucking stuck with it forever, and I'm angry that it still bothers me that, knowing her, this will haunt her forever. I hope her shitty house, her shitty ex-boyfriend, her shitty city and her shitty job were worth it. Twenty thousand, huh? Really?


4/29/2011 7:22:25 AM

It's been my perception(just MINE, mind you) that people who are physically active and healthy tend to be emotionally and intellectually healthier as well.

 

That's not set in stone by ANY means, it's just my personal observation that physically healthier people TEND to be more stable as well.

That doesn't necessarily mean they're nicer people... Just.... Stabler.

I don't think that's a word.


4/24/2011 9:46:23 AM

Happy Zombie Jesus Day, everyone!

 

Christianity- The Belief that a Cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

 

Makes Perfect Fucking Sense to Me. :-P

 

P.S. No..... Not at all.


4/22/2011 11:07:21 AM

I'm engaged in a frustrating, ongoing attempt to try and convince someone that she's making a huge mistake.

You know who you are.

Our arguments have turned circular, and it would be comical and frustrating if ONLY it weren't so painful on both sides. There's too much pride involved, and it's not on MY end.


4/7/2011 8:01:20 AM

If anyone tries to take my identity.... ESPECIALLY on this site.... I'm going to kill you in a brutally torturous fashion.

Yea, I'll dance a jig on your grave as I shoot golf balls from your molars and carve my initials onto every bone in your body. While you're still attached to a scrap of life.

 

And the LOVELY part about the internet is that YOU(whoever the hell you are) has NO idea how serious, sarcastic, or humorous I'm being. You'd actually have to get to KNOW me to do THAT. Having said that...

You have NO fucking clue how crazy I MIGHT be about Justice, Vengeance, or Iron Willed Determination. :-P

For all you know, I might be Batman. OR I might not care about the consequences.

 

So let that be a warning system for anyone who thinks that the justice system will protect scam artists from a big, angry, dangerous and skilled with a knife redhead. Submissive or no, I know The system CERTAINLY isn't on MY side.... but the bad part about that(for you, potential scam artist or identity thief) is that means that it won't be on YOUR side, either. Not on time, anyway.


4/5/2011 10:27:32 AM

I feel that Pro-Dommes get huffy being called "prostitutes", because it rings a little close to home.

I view all of this financial domination and exploitation as EXTREMELY dishonest and immoral.

They aren't "Pro-dommes" they're hookers with leather and whips and fuzzy handcuffs!

And the losers they take advantage of would be FAR better off if they were just seeing a prostitute, without all of this extra exploitation and sadistic cruelty these shitbag women inflict.

Those of us who are doing this for FUN are getting FUCKED by total idiots and the psychotically selfish, self-absorbed bitches who exploit them.

And for those of you who delight in the witty retort "Awww, did you get taken advantage of like one of the idiots?"

The answer is No.

But you Pro-Dommes and you blindly ignorant, douchebag male IDIOTS who fucking support them are fucking up a BEAUTIFUL thing for people who are actually interested in this stuff.

LEGALIZE PROSTITUTION! GET THESE "PRO-DOMMES" THE REAL JOBS THEY WANT SOOOO  BADLY!


4/4/2011 9:11:49 AM

I watched this music video about a week or two ago.... and it's haunting me. It's powerful, problematic, capable, and EXTREMELY well done. It fits the nature of the song perfectly.

 

 

It's called Handlebars by Flobots.

I'm DAMN impressed with it.


4/3/2011 9:43:24 PM

Now, I set out today knowing that I was going to accomplish two things.

 

I was going  to openly confront my parents about being a submissive and an atheist.

 

I was going to meet my new dominatrix today.... Who didn't give me her address and wouldn't answer her phone. 

 

Now, of those two giant and yet totally separate issues, which possible combination of bad outcomes is most likely to create the most PERSONALLY annoying outcome for you?

 

Really, anyone reading this... Knock yourself out... Fair game.

I want some ugly stories with this equally ugly whiskey. :-P

I'll swap stories?


4/1/2011 2:49:54 PM

MMMmmm.... *crunch*

 

Because who DOESN'T love a juicy, crunchy apple?


3/25/2011 4:49:53 PM

I just told one of my oldest friends from high school that I'm submissive.

 

I'm anxious.


2/16/2011 12:02:46 PM
People should be free to believe in whatever they want, and I should be free to call those people stupid. Free speech rocks, but it has to extend to everyone, including people you don't want to listen to.

2/3/2011 10:30:47 AM

I'm not cut out for prison, the food is terrible.

 

There is NO sushi in prison, unless that sushi is dick. :-D 

 

Excellent line. I am stealing it.


2/2/2011 8:09:13 AM

"Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are." - Dale Carnegie

 

 

I really liked this. It's been something I've been ruminating upon for awhile now. Cute phrase and I like it.


1/25/2011 6:32:02 AM

Man, I'm so disappointed. One of my favorite public intellectuals has cancer and he's probably going to die. This is probably the first time when someone with pseudo-celebrity status has been in jeopardy and I've cared even the slightest bit about their recovery.
I consider his thoughts and insights into the world to be very piercing and unapologetic, so naturally I like him a great deal.

It's everyone's loss if Hitch goes now.

I'm even more bothered by this than I thought I would be. Bummer.


12/27/2010 4:18:53 PM

True Grit was pretty good. Consistently strong performances, good writing, excellent dialogue, good direction and cinematography, it was just an all-around impressive movie. It certainly wasn't the flashiest I've ever seen, but the difference between True Grit and the other movie I watched today, Twilight:Eclipse, could not have been greater or more noticeable. Both of the movies had roughly the same 2 hours, but where Eclipse dragged horribly with the most ridiculous characters, cringe-worthy conversations, contrived situations and stupid scenarios, True Grit was fairly fast paced, believable, humorous with a laconic wit and, dare I say it, gritty.


12/25/2010 3:20:59 PM

Jeez, going back through my journal entries for the past few months is an exercise in seeing what I'm like when I'm full of self-righteousness and personal pride. Sheesh, I really am not this arrogant, I swear. It's just my personality and my way of thinking about the world, though I think I should probably tone it down a bit. I also need to swap out the photo with something a little more modern.

 

I got the greatest gift this Christmas. I got a little rubber ducky dressed up as a ninja. The guy who gave it to me bought it because he wanted it to remind me not to take life too seriously. It was touching, and this thing is cute. And ridiculous. I love it.

 

Merry Christmas, kinksters! Best wishes to everyone.


12/23/2010 2:44:42 PM

I just realized why some couples never go to Stand Up Comedy together. I figured this out when I laughed my ass off at something incredibly insightful and offensive about the male nature. It was so funny and so insanely obnoxious that my response could only raise an eyebrow and some questions which would be impossible to answer well. It felt somewhat like laughing at the the funniest retard joke ever, guilty and hilarious.


11/27/2010 4:37:27 PM

Why I'm a switch. As a male, it often throws people off to encounter a confident, energetic and vivacious person who occasionally enjoys being a girl's bitch.

I'm writing this because so many people don't seem to understand the nature of my switchiness. I feel I should respond by elaborating what it means to me.

To me it means a kind of fluid and adaptable bondage sexuality. I love getting tied up and teased, I love tying up and teasing. It's a kind of planned, rational mindset which states that I don't always need to be in control, but enjoy relaxing in pleasured torment. Likewise, it's a calculated interest in my partner and finding what she likes and why, then mutually enjoying the results. To me, it's a love of both sides of human nature, the need to assert yourself and the need to succumb to something or someone greater. Both needs exist within every human, I have no doubt.

But however naturally submissive I am, however much I enjoy being the object of someone's fascination and being a sexual plaything, I retain the right to consider myself an intelligent and capable human being. I may not do everything right, but I'm working on it, damnit!

I'm a complex person and not everyone out there is complex, even if they think they are.

As a side note, I can't help but notice that most of the men on here are dominant or illiterate idiots. It's very regrettable that there doesn't seem to be a niche or hero for submissive men. In literature and movies, the man is almost always the driven, ambitious, powerful, assertive male. That's fine for some characters, but most people don't behave that way and I know a lot of men feel the same. However, the submissive male at this time tends to be shunned and disregarded and frequently for good reason, I'm afraid. Most of the men I've seen who openly claim a submissive nature are quite pathetic indeed.

Here's my joke at the end of this, and it also has the merit of being true. When I first joined Collarme, I was initially going to label myself as a "submissive with a sense of self-respect and personal integrity and intelligence" but they didn't have that as an option, so I went with switch.


11/3/2010 6:07:21 PM

In science, you move closer to the truth by seeking evidence to the contrary. Perhaps the same method should inform your opinion as well.


10/25/2010 7:28:44 AM

I don't believe in nothing. I wouldn't know where to begin!


10/12/2010 5:04:31 AM
I am just sick to death of the princess concept. It's an evil idea and it creates lazy, vain people who feel they don't really need to do anything in life other than be attractive. The truly annoying part of it is that a LOT of women actually fucking get away with it. The Playboy bunny concept is EXACTLY THE SAME, it's just a question of degree. It's utterly revolting how evil and subversive and wrong it is.

It's anti-feminist and exploitative towards men. It's a concept that corrupts little girls by telling them they don't need to worry about being intelligent or having personalities. It's a contemptible idea and it truly needs to be destroyed.

Everyone who agrees with me needs to tell these scumbags, these lowlives, just how villainous and stupid, corrupt and wrong they are. Fuck them.

10/9/2010 1:15:34 AM

I need to talk about something right now and it's something that's always bothered me. I've come to realize that I both intimidate and disinterest most of the same people that I'm interested in.

For example, I consider myself a highly philosophical person. I need someone who both challenges me and understands my point without condemning me. That's a rare person.

I was considering this while on the subject of pain. Some find it pleasurable, others not so much, myself included. But I just heard from one of my personally favorite philosophers that it wasn't the actual fact of pain that makes it suffering, it's the anticipation of pain and the memory of pain that truly makes it suffering.

An interesting idea, but contestable.

What I truly need is a person intellectually capable of understanding that concept but willing to disagree with me if she actually does disagree. I'm not content with a person unwilling to consider outside ideas nor a person unwilling to fight if they disagree or consider such subjects unimportant. The unconsidered life is not worth living, to quote a famous philosopher I can't remember right now. I had a person like that and she's not here. Wish she was here.

I wouldn't pull this on her all the time, of course. No, I'm perfectly willing to argue the merits of chocolate vs vanilla(hidden joke) all day long. But almost above all things, I miss her intelligence, her willingness to consider my thoughts and make them valid, and then the respect for both her and myself enough to thoughtfully disagree.

It's not enough to be a person with impulses and feelings, it's vitally important to think, as well.


10/4/2010 5:38:42 AM
Being manly doesn't always mean being dominant.

9/17/2010 2:34:52 PM

When I left for Maryland last summer, I got the golden opportunity to meet a woman with whom I had talked for about a year and a half. We first 'met' when I was suffering a hangover and she was up early in the morning. We  discussed any and every topic that struck our fancy, and eventually we came to know each other and discover mutual interests and hobbies, both in and out of kink. Trust was slowly developed and our curiousity reached a peak at a point when we could actually meet each other.

Having said that, we both knew that we were entrenched in our lives, our communities, our friends and families, so a long term relationship was out of the question. But a short, summer romance? With a nice element of sexual control and exploration? Right up our alley. It was at this time that both of us were proven totally wrong. It didn't happen the first time, or the second time we met, but it happened. My confession led to hers, and nearly a year later, here we are, planning our lives together. It wasn't what we had decided upon, but for me, it was infinitely better. I've found someone with whom I truly mesh, both in kink and out. I am physically and emotionally and spiritually satisfied. I feel totally complete with her. I love you, my EM.

But is the adventure over just because our stalwart hero saved the damsel in distress? No. Could I have proven myself any more of a giant dork? I fucking doubt it.

When I first encountered sxymdgirl, she was exclusively looking for a submissive female to help explore her dominant side. I guess business was slow that night, which is why she tolerated my silly jokes and clumsy observations. However, the search for another girl goes on, though I doubt we'll find anyone. Meshing with one person this perfect is enough of an achievement for me, doing it again seems just greedy. But it's fun searching and flirting, and there's plenty of room in both of us for curiosity and exploration. If anyone is interested in talking to us about anything, we're open to discussion and friendship. Who knows? Maybe I'll be pleasantly wrong again.

9/13/2010 3:08:28 PM
Vegetables are what food eats.

8/23/2010 9:39:38 PM
You know, I'm not a big fan of badass boasts. They're mostly bullshit. However, I ran across one describing humanity.... You know what, I'll just post it. It's so absurdly, wildly out of proportion it just becomes funny. The background is the claim in sci-fi terms that humanity is a Warrior Race.

"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our god to a STICK! Don't FUCK with the human race!"

Oh, it's awesome, isn't it? Feedback?

8/23/2010 12:31:17 PM
I despise American Princess Syndrome. This is what happens when little girls are told that all they need to succeed in life is to be pretty. By being pretty and glamourous, you can get doctors and psychiatrists and people who actually have to work for a living and develop a personality.

So, I hate APS. These little girls who are raised being told how hot they are and watch Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty and understand that they fundamentally don't have to do anything aside from being attractive.

8/10/2010 1:09:58 PM
In order, my code of ethics is as follows.

Be intelligent, be strong, be flexible and be moral. In that order.

This is important. Being smart and clever trumps iron will, and iron willed determination and endurance wins over adaptablity, and adaptability and flexibility wins over kindness and compassion.

Bear in mind that every one of these assets is important. I'm not espousing cruelty or judgement, it's just that certain values are greater than others.

Being a kind and honest person is important. Following the golden rule trumps every religious morality I've ever seen.

7/21/2010 4:42:54 PM
In the beginning there was nothing.


Which exploded.

7/18/2010 4:04:06 PM

A girlfriend once told me that my two biggest problems in life were Apathy and Ignorance.

I don't know what that means and I don't care.


6/27/2010 7:31:23 PM
I'm in pain, I'm in pain, I'm in PAIN!

Fuck me. Why oh why did I fall in love with a cute, sweet black girl halfway across the country???

Gahhhh. I'm a romantic and I'm hopeless and I'm totally screwed.

I love her....Goddamn, I wish I didn't. With her cute smile and her orgasm eyes.


Goodbye, my Mo.... I love you but I can't wait forever. I'm scarred but I can't wait forever. This hurts way, WAYYY too much

6/27/2010 3:21:42 AM

I have figured out why Italians became Catholic!

About four years ago, I went to Rome, and while I did, I learned to appreciate Italian Ice Cream. Because it was 110 degrees outside. No air conditioning.

I also learned the reason why many people suspect Europeans don't take showers. They don't. At least not every day.

It was insanely fucking hot. This is why Catholicism worked there. The people were terrfied of hell, a place actually hotter than Italy.

Also helps dispell the global warming myth a bit. Rome wasn't this warm 400 years ago, and we didn't do it, unless you're prepared to aknowledge that humans are responsible for 30 degrees of temperature shift. Though I will admit that pollution there was BAD.


6/23/2010 1:14:59 AM
I'm.... alone again. And broken-hearted. There needs to be a saying about how good intentions work.... Oh right, they pave the way to hell. That's right.

I always thought that was asshole speak for "You meant well, but you fucked everything up as a result."

But now I wonder. I consider the possibility that perhaps it's the planner and the intention-driven man who go through hell as a result of their dreams and ambitions crumbling around them.

Gah.... What do I do now? I put every last ounce of hope and income and faith and trust in the future on this girl...

And I..... didn't get back mutual effort.

And it's devastating. It's especially devastating when it's been planned with such selfish precision.

I'm so hosed and so angry and so miserable.

5/25/2010 12:37:26 PM

Oh MAN.... Starship Troopers is awesome! Were they deliberately trying to make a movie this awful?? If so, that puts them right up there with Sam Raimi and Army of Darkness.... Sheesh. The sound track is perfectly fitting, too, with wailing trumpets and super patriotic amped music.

Great special effects and ham acting. Clearly Michael Ironside is the only guy who knows what movie he's in and he just GOES for it. It's a surprisingly deep movie, too, for how awful it is. It's a gender fair universe and the technology improves as the movie goes along. I actually could have been a stunt double in the movie. I should have done it, too.


5/25/2010 10:45:50 AM
El Perro, el perro... es me corazon.
El gato, el gato, el gato no es bueno.
Cilantro es contante
Cilantro is muy famouso
Cilantro is el hombre con el queso del diablo!

5/23/2010 9:24:43 AM
Philosophy is hugely important. It differs from religion in the sense that it provides no answers, only questions that you, yourself, need to provide.

Religion= Answers, and bad answers 99% of the time.

Philosophy= Questions

Sometimes impossible, unanswerable questions, but IMPORTANT ones. How we conduct our lives needs to be examined, and questions like 'Who am I and Why am I here?' shouldn't be confined to a Meatloaf song. Actually a really good Meatloaf song, one of his best, now that I think about it. "A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age!"

The hell was I talking about? Oh yea... Philosophy matters because thinking is important. Dwelling on who we are and why we behave the way we do really matters. It may seem like a waste and a frippery to others, but to me it enhances my life and allows me to focus on flaws I need to work on and strengths I need to enhance.

5/17/2010 6:37:25 AM
I disappointed my domme and rightly so. She's mad and she takes her promises seriously. I love her, I really do. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I want her in my life. Will do whatever it takes to get that to happen.

But I think her ultimatum was a little too extreme for the circumstances. A little too harsh and a little too unforgiving. A promise shouldn't be crafted around such extremities.

So when she reads this, and read it she will... I'm trying, EM... I'm really trying. I love you.

5/12/2010 6:57:29 PM
Goddamnit! I LOVE tik-tok.

I really shouldn't. It's a dumb, dumb, dumb song. Keh-dollar sign- Hah is a bad human being. But it's catchy, and the chorus is awesome. I'm fucking dancing right now.

I hate/love this song.

5/11/2010 10:33:43 PM
RRRRR.... It's very hard having an emotionally touchy girlfriend. I'm a libertarian and I think that the government exists to do the bare minimum amount of governing. She thinks I'm a stupid asshole drunk.

It's very hard to disagree with someone who thinks that little of me and still has sex with me.

I'm not a jerk, damnit. I'm not an asshole or a wicked person. I disagreed with her but not once did I insult her. I don't deserve this.

I miss my Mo.

5/10/2010 11:51:51 PM
Civilization rests upon the concept of free argument. You don't agree with me and I don't agree with you, and I'm fine with that. Truly, I don't want everything my way. I'm not wise enough to see all ends.

This is why freedom needs such universality. We need to have the right to express our views, and we also need to have our expresssed views examined.

I love freedom and everything it represents, even when it discredits and discourages me.

4/27/2010 5:27:18 PM
I feel a bit better today. I came out of my dark, lil, whiny emo depression fest today and started wondering about my next step. I've noticed that emotional trend in me before. Everything's great for several months, I have a few okay months, two really shitty weeks, and everything resets. I wonder how normal that is? I've never really paid attention, but I'm wondering if I should start taking notes.

4/26/2010 2:15:26 AM
I often wonder how intimidating I truly am. This is a relatively recent thought, but it's a persistent one and also one which I don't necessarily think is true. It's merely a suspicion.

I adopt a rather confrontational aspect whenever I enter into debates or open ended discussions. One thing I cannot be accused of is reserved... unless I don't know for certain what I'm talking about, in which case I do tend to be hesitant.

Having said that, I tend to be fierce, insensitive to emotions, and rigorous in pursuit of the truth.

At least I think so. I'm not entirely certain how much of that is true and how much is just my ego rebounding against the internet walls.

But I've realized, with that joyous hindsight, that I've scared a few people whom I've talked with in the past.

I still tend to think of myself as that tall, gangly kid I was back in high school. That was 8 years and 70 pounds ago. I didn't start seriously weightlifting until I was 19... I'm a big dude now, and I'm not truly conscious of that all the time. So I can't help but wonder if that plays a part at all.

4/24/2010 9:14:23 PM
I insulted a friend and lover tonight. She didn't react the way *I* would to criticism.... she took it harshly and insulted me right back. Fair enough, I have my flaws.

But I sit here dwelling on them. I sit here wondering if I've done wrong and I doubt that she's done the same.

I'm no perfect being and I've never tried to pretend that I was. But I have tried to be honest. And faithful, in my way.

I feel so shattered. I've kept it together for a solid four months or so, but.... I don't know, there are limits. I'm not a perfect man, though I try to be. I strive to be, impossible goal though it is.

My love has refused to meet my commitment, my friend has taken insult and abandoned me over a minor, and solveable, critique.

I feel alone... and I'm not one to wax emo here. I'm not one to piss and whine about why life isn't fair or 'no one understands my pain'..... It just sucks.

I just feel without a moral compass and without any restraint.
If they don't care, then I don't care.
*sigh* I sometimes wish I didn't love life so much. Right now, all I feel is pain and all I want is it's cessation. This will pass, but it doesn't mean I'm not hurting.

4/13/2010 6:21:42 AM
Okay, I'm going to explain this to everyone in case there's some confusion. I'm here to clear this up, so don't worry.

IRONY IS NOT THE SAME WORD AS COINCIDENCE!

A coicidence is an eerie comparison between two unrelated circumstances.

An irony is an unintended consequence which is an opposite result from an intended consequence.

And you may say, "GoodAvatar, you golden haired God(nobody says that, but we'll move on), the meanings are similar, so just let me have my fun and sound intelligent."

The problem is, and amazingly enough this IS a problem.... is that the more one word comes to mean the other, the less impact both of them have. When they start to become interchangeable, it dilutes the power of the written and spoken word, and it undermines the importance of irony.

4/5/2010 9:29:47 AM
We need an atheist, conservative movement. I'm sick to death of both Fox News AND Obama-crats. Both sides are illogical and merely want THEIR version of tyranny. I don't want either. I sincerely want people to be free and to keep the state and federal government interference kept to an absolute minimum. Highways are a good idea, and so is a powerful military and a capable border patrol. I'm not opposed to a unified set of states. What I AM opposed to is the idea that they can or should regulate things like drugs and gay marriage. We need a much SMALLER government, not a system of this or that bigger government.

Any time I hear anyone say, "There ought to be a law", there probably oughtn't.

I don't think that's a word, but whatever.

4/3/2010 10:43:37 PM
New profile upgrade. That pretty much explains the goings on in my life. Although, having said that, I'm leaving a bit of a message.

This counts as my journal entry. :-)

Any nerds out there? I've found that BDSM correlates in a weird way to both the Rennaissance Fair and the dork community. Never understood it, and it's not perfect, but oddly close. Any thoughts?

12/27/2009 8:02:23 AM

You know, I really want to hate Avatar. I do. It's a story of how the BIG Bad military teams up with the Big Bad Corporation to loot and plunder a hideously primitive group of blue skinned cat people. It's so hippy that it creeps me out and makes my butt twitch.

This is the exact same plot as 2012! Are you any shade of brown? Then you're awesome! Are you white? Then you're either the main hero or an asshole or incompetent. Avatar holds the same kind of logic, and all you need to do is replace white people with humans and brown people with aliens, and it's more or less the same movie.

Plus, as an additional dose of bullshit, it's obvious to me that this is DEFINITELY how American Indians, IE 'Native Americans', would love to be viewed. Physically and philosophically superior and coated in Braveheart paint, while they're suppressed by big bad whitey.

*Sigh* It's a great movie, it really is. I want to hate it, but it does so many things RIGHT.   I despise it's main theme, but everything else is so fucking good. The plot is inventive and consistent, the actors are impressive, the special effects are amazing, the villains are plausible and well done. The list goes on and on. They did everything perfectly except for the main fucking philosophy of the movie. Having said that, it'll suck you in like a triple cunted hooker if you let it. AND, despite my distaste, you really need to go see this movie. We need to support this kind of movie making.


12/15/2009 9:04:31 AM
You know, if you break down the story of the Three Wise Men, you've got three Chinese guys giving perfume to the star baby.

It's like reading a hilarious story in the diary of a madman.

12/9/2009 8:19:14 PM
You know.... these weird ass cold snaps really puts you into perspective. I mean, it's intensely cold and horrible..... but it makes 20 and 30 degrees a fucking vacation. With        -10.... holy shit!


I mean, think about it.... it'd have to raise 50 degrees to be above freezing.

12/9/2009 8:02:54 PM
I'm a little curious about why girls are against polyamory?

If it's because it doesn't seem to work both ways, that's just porn. And even with porn, there seems to be dual fucking going on.

Well, some girls are against you even SEEING another girl. Jealousy takes all forms, it would seem.

It strikes me that these weird ass religious taboos against poly houses are against the basic nature of a freedom loving society.

They aren't bothering anybody.... well, okay, they ARE, but they're only bothering the envious.

Look... it's human nature to fuck others and covet others, but I operate by a simple, simple code.

Leave me and mine alone, and I'll do the exact same to you.

Rest assured I'll fight for our freedoms as best I can.

And kudos goes to my lovely, wonderful, black domme. The one I found in Maryland who's incredible and lovely and somehow cares for me in return. Everyone should be so lucky as to be a dorky white male and in love. Which I most certainly am.

11/10/2009 3:50:57 PM
"A gun is a tool. It's as good or as bad as the person who uses it."

I love the gun argument because it's so easily defeated. The people who want to get rid of guns and legalize their absence will take them away from people who obey the law. Everyone who doesn't will think it's fucking christmas. Make firearms illegal and it will turn cops into an organized gang, honest people who don't want to be defenseless into criminals, and criminals into aggressive victors.

Make guns of any sort legal for everyone, forever, and we'll have freedom. Irresponsible accidents will occur, yes, but we'll have freedom.

Remember we need to think, "This is how people are, how do we handle it?" and NOT "This is how people OUGHT to be, how do we change them?"
This is a subtle, but important examination in life.

10/8/2009 3:46:07 PM
It's none of the governments goddamn business what I do.

At the end of the day, I'm a freedom guy, I truly, honestly want my fellow man (and woman) to be free. I'm not religious, but you can be religious, if you'd like. I'm not abusive, but you can be abusive, if your spouse wants. I'm not a tyrant, but you can place yourself in every kind of tyranny that you like so long as it doesn't affect me or mine.

I drink, you can smoke.... you go right ahead and feed every addiction you can possibly dream up. We'll all put up with each other, and everyone will win. I'm not going to fuck you and hopefully you won't fuck me. I trust you, really I do. I like humanity and all that we represent. We're not perfect, but we're trying.

All I ask is that you support me when I fight for us all. Humanity can be made better, and all we need to do is be FREE to do it. On our own, without intervention, without control. We're getting better.

Things used to be bad, we used to die by the age of 25, we used to die from our teeth, we used to worship bears and rivers and holy rocks. We used to believe in many gods and now we only believe in one. This is progress. We're getting closer and closer to the truth all the time. So know, my fellow human... I love you. I really do... we're not perfect, but maybe, just maybe, we'll evolve and transcend. Maybe we'll expand and colonize this vast universe of unlife. Maybe we'll craft for ourselves a vast and wonderful golden age.
Maybe, one day.

10/5/2009 3:00:49 PM
Did you know that Velveeta is Italian for "Orange Plastic"?


That's a complete lie. Anyway, I often find myself wondering where my life will go, what I will do in the future and who I will do it with.

I'm a man of many faults, and I oftentimes wonder what others see in me.

Maybe someday I'll go out and do something that's remembered throughout the ages.
Nah. Most likely I'll live what historians will consider a boring life, but I'll do it with my lovely girl at my side and whiny kids who won't appreciate me.

But that's life, and that's not a bad life, either. I'm not going to change the universe, or save it. I'm just going to BE, and that's enough for the greediest of people, I think.

7/22/2009 10:44:43 PM
My new domme is so good that she makes ME want to embrace religion. She tells me that everything happens for a reason, and it's possible that it does.

I don't actually believe that, but I see how seductive it is to think that. I've never been so attracted to anyone in my entire life. And that's terrible. My brain goes RIGHT out the goddamn window where she's concerned.

As a side note... who likes coffee?

7/22/2009 3:22:04 PM
I'm not a country fan. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Listen to The Highwayman with Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash and tell me that it doesn't rock. Tell me! I dare you.

:-P

I personally think it's fantastic.

7/22/2009 6:45:12 AM

I just watched Taken. Gotta say, I'm pretty impressed. I hadn't figured Liam Niessan for an action role, but good lord, the man punches a lot of throats.

On a side note, I just had a joyously kinky threesome weekend. I hope that I never get caught being kinky in my normal community, but if I DID, I don't think I'll be able to top the two I pleasured a few days ago. One of the greatest events in my kink life.....

Yay!


6/6/2009 3:27:03 PM
So, I'm now firmly lodged in Maryland for the next few months. No internet yet, a car split between two people, mediocre food and not enough sleep... not to mention a crushing workload and all the fun and stress that comes with a combination of school assignments coupled with a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit, and it makes for a tired, occasionally grouchy switch.

Truth be told, I'm just whining for entertainment at this point. Everything is fine, better than fine, but right now everything is so hectic I feel like I could sleep for days. Then sodomize someone and go back to sleep. Or read a book, then sodomy, then sleep. 

One bummer of being so consistently tired is that there's so much to do here on the East Coast and I feel a bit too burned out to do it. Hopefully that changes, and hopefully my kink life activates and some attractive domme finds my pasty, muscular butt cute.

Hey, a guy can dream.

Pray for the best, prepare for the worst, and expect neither.

5/12/2009 11:18:38 AM
It's good to be white and nerdy... at least, *I* think it's good. Here's hoping someone thinks that's sexy or I'm screwed.

5/12/2009 1:15:09 AM
We will embrace science and in 5 or 6 generations escape the solar system and become immortal as a species. There will be up and down periods as befits an imperfectly evolved species, I'm sure, but we will live.

Or, we will embrace religion, which will in turn embrace apocalyptic weaponry, sure that the next life will outweigh this one, and murder us all.

I want to live.... do you?

4/20/2009 4:09:11 PM
I've come to realize that I'm very attracted to black girls. It sounds racist and unfair, and to be fair, it is. Which is not to say that I don't find others attractive, I just.... Maybe it's the contrast... I'm as white as they get. I like rebellion. Maybe it's dark skin that does it for me? Couple that with being a switch and you're looking at marriage   potential.                                                I'm just kidding. Uhhhhh, maybe.

1/16/2009 8:12:30 AM
Everything is amazing and nobody is happy. How strange is this? It's a bizarre, odd circumstance, and I have no real way to correct it. Our text messages go into SPACE before they head to our friends... did you know that?

A flight from New York to California takes 5 hours and people whine about the seats not going back far enough. It used to take 5 months! People would die on the way there, others would be born, it was possibly that everyone would kick the bucket, you could arrive with a totally different group of people when you showed up!

You can go to Wal-Mart at 2 AM and get taco supplies... you can go buy 4 guns and rig them all together if you feel like it... we have instant information if at times a little dubious from the internet... we have constitutional freedom of religion and from religion, guaranteeing the only secular government on the planet.

We have so much and it's so awesome to be alive here and now... relish this, enjoy this, and be entertained.

Anyone who thinks that the purpose of life is not entertainment is missing the point.

11/27/2008 6:52:24 AM
If Jesus was ever elected... what a civilized world this would be. Of course, he never WOULD be elected...

Think about it. He's a Jew from the Middle East and he looks like a goddamn hippy. The Fox Network would crucify him.

9/13/2008 12:07:38 PM
Always remember, if you have to drive drunk, drive fast! Limit your exposure time.

8/18/2008 10:37:26 AM
Sex is Natural, Sex is Good... Not everyone has Sex, but everyone Should.

Seriously though, it's good to get laid, and I'm not opposed to it in the slightest. People who get off tend not to get off offing people.

7/6/2008 9:06:35 AM
One of the downsides of being so passionate is suffering the slides into normalcy and depression. I'm a creature of fury and flame, inevitably followed by self-doubt and confidence issues. I think it helps keep me in check, prevents me from ruling the world, but it also tends to rain on my parade from time to time.

As a side note, I'm amused that the people who submissively have foot fetishes far, FAR outnumber the dominants that enjoy it.

6/2/2008 8:28:21 AM
Every problem is just an opportunity in disguise.

5/28/2008 6:38:24 AM
Cuz we are living, in a material world..... and I am a material girl. At least I think so.

I like my toys from time to time.

Every so often, though, I DO have my fantasy about going totally homeless. From a certain perspective, it seems like quite the life. Total freedom, absolutely no responsibilities or expectations.... free food and unlimited travel. No job, nobody hassling you. Just wandering about from place to place with nothing but a grungy pair of clothes and a worn out backpack. Maybe a sleeping mat. 

And all you have to do is be willing to part with all your worldly possessions and be willing to sacrifice all human ties.

That's usually the part that trips me up. I'll quote Thomas Jefferson here in saying, "I cannot live without books."

4/21/2008 5:43:43 AM
Man, watching Firefly is just an exercise in getting angry. That's just how that works.

4/19/2008 7:40:15 PM
You treat me Hella Good.... so I'm gonna keep on dancing.

4/2/2008 10:50:49 AM
I'm contemplating growing a beard. Think about it.... it's a totally manly thing, and some of the most important people ever had beards.
Chuck Norris, Jesus.... Chewbacca. They've all got soup-catchers, so I'm tempted to sprout my own.

4/2/2008 10:43:38 AM
Life is good. I can make no complaints. Well, no real complaints, anyway. Fake ones? Yes.

Bitching for entertainments sake is generally amusing. If a person is skilled at it, that is.

Has anyone ever ran into someone who talks a lot.... I mean, a LOT, but never seems to have anything interesting to say?

1/26/2008 11:24:09 AM
I've noticed that I can have platonic friends if I'm getting laid relatively frequently. If not, I can't help but think of women, even unattractive women as nothing but sex objects. Its totally unfair and I know thats demeaning and obnoxious, but I really, really can't help it. I just become a stuttering, bumbling mass around women if my "needs" aren't being met. Tell me, is there anybody else that feels that way? Or am I just a sexist jerk?

12/6/2007 6:10:10 PM
If you think my guns are impressive, you should really check out my cannon. :-P

LoL, that being the combination of the stupidest thing I've ever heard and the most egotistical, but it amused me to think it up while I was on the can this afternoon. LoL

Fucking ego!

12/4/2007 2:35:34 PM
Those who dance are considered insane by the deaf. :-)

10/29/2007 10:26:52 AM
No criticism of others, vulgarity or illegal activites???? WHAT?? What the f*** am I going to f****** complain about now?? G******IT!!!!

10/12/2007 3:06:53 PM
Quitting drinking is the easiest thing in the world. I should know.... I've done it a thousand times.

10/9/2007 8:00:38 PM
College is great. Terribly demanding, but very fun stress nonetheless. I didn't picture things being this way, but I certainly don't mind. I'm learning wonderfully interesting information every day.


We've been studying the Old Testament as literature in a class of mine. Turns out God was nothing shy of a friggin' Jerk! Job's life was ruined as a bet with the Devil, Abraham was asked to participate in human sacrifice, Moses got drunk one night and so wasn't allowed to enter the holy land for forty years. A lot of small examples that amuse the hell out of me.

6/20/2007 7:12:57 AM
I had a minor disagreement this morning with an elderly couple on the road. *I*, flawed being that I am, could have sworn the speed limit sign said 45.

They obviously disagreed, as they must have believed the sign said 7. Amazing how that mixup could have occured. On a nice 1 lane back country road, it was quite the educational experience, as I had plenty of time to study flora and fauna.

6/19/2007 7:17:09 AM
Culture is what defines us, seperates us. Skin color, religion, beliefs? Unimportant to culture.
With that in mind, I will say this. The Irish really know how to hold a grudge. They still hate that Oliver Cromwell guy... and that was 400 years ago. Amazing.

And I've listened to some of their drinking songs. It seems they've always been pissed at the English. :-P I love their songs... nowhere else in human civilization has there been such griping and bitching put into such cheerful, happy music.

6/8/2007 3:05:39 PM
I love Vin Diesel movies. Its not because I'm impressed with his highly cerebral acting, not by any means. I love his movies because I never have to rediscover the characters he plays. He plays the same guy in EVERY single movie he's in.

*flexes muscles* *Deepens voice* One man.... One mission *huge explosion* Only one chance..... in this action packed thriller, coming to you this summer... Vin Diesel is...
One Badass MotherF****r.... With a Heart of Gold.

6/7/2007 2:18:36 PM
After re-watching Batman Begins, I understand fully why the idea bugs me so much. I'm fine if somebody has super powers like strength and instant healing, but Batman's powers is that he has way, WAYYY too much money. And he's a ninja. A billionaire ninja.

And why does Batman go out and fight crime himself? This strikes me as a deep mental instability of some kind. He's a billionaire, and that much money can grease a lot of palms. Why doesn't he finance a huge vigilante army that runs around beating the crap out of crooks? Surely that would be much more effective than just one guy. Pay them well, take care of their medical expenses (and there will be medical expenses) and outfit them ALL as Batman. It'd confuse everyone for a long while until somebody wised up.

6/1/2007 1:05:06 PM
The other night I had this bizarre dream that I assassinated a bunch of high ranking military officials, and then re-created the Confederacy. Had the flag and everything.

Which is goofy as hell, seeing as I'm not from the south, am not nostalgic about Dixieland, have no desire to secede from anyone, and never say "ya'll"

5/30/2007 8:14:44 AM
Wow... I really, really... don't like super heavy metal. Lyrical heavy metal I like, you know, Manowar, Lordi, but there seems to be a lot of bands out there that like screaming into the mike in unintelligible ranting while the drummer is going ape shit and the guitarist is wailing away so fast that nobody can appreciate his skill. The whole point to me seems to be to make as much noise as possible as quickly as possible. No beauty, no poetry, just thrash. I guess that appeals to some people but... not to me.

5/23/2007 3:09:50 PM
YO, Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

5/18/2007 9:57:06 AM
Take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand.

I don't care, I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.

4/19/2007 12:16:24 PM
I was hiking yesterday, and while I was out there, I either saw the biggest fucking rabbit in the entire state, or a tiny deer. It was very cute and had no idea why I was there.

4/17/2007 8:40:15 AM

God Said, "Let there be Vodka."

And he saw that it was good.

Then he said, "Let there be light."
Then he said, "Whoa, too much light."


4/12/2007 2:27:39 PM

I think Olympic Athletes should be allowed to take steroids and any other kind of performance enhancing drugs, I mean, it IS their bodies they're damaging in the long term to succeed...

I think this should be done, you know, in honor of the great Greek Tradition of excellence.

You honestly think Greek generals in the height of their military power they would have turned down some high balance Nike shoes and some potent amphetamines for their runners? Hell no. And I guarantee you'd see some pretty quick marathon runners if you DID do that. We'd also see a lot more ambulances and some body bags, and suddenly the Olympics got a LOT more entertaining.

Plus, those hammer throw guys would now be all freakishly hulked out, and I'd bet money that those javelins would go right out the goddamn stadium.


4/3/2007 4:19:06 PM
I'm trying to find the perfect "power animal" that suits my nature. So far I've come across an amalgam of lion, hamster, and a duck.

Which would be a freakish and interesting abomination to witness in person but seems to suit me.

Equal parts power and passion and strength, coupled with a love of all things small, cute, and fuzzy, mingled amongst a humor leaning towards awkward and adorable through strangeness. Throw in love of the unusual somewhere into the mix and that seems strangely appropriate.

A liduckster.
Here's hoping SOMEONE finds that attractive or I'm screwed. :-P

3/19/2007 7:14:05 AM
Most guys tend to look at women like individual body parts. You know, look at those "legs, breasts, ass, stomach"... whatever. Thats so shallow. *I*, on the other hand, tend to think of women as a w hole. :-P If and when you get the joke you have total permission to slap me.

3/5/2007 7:10:10 PM
I'm convinced the Tuxedo was invented by a woman. The logic goes "Well, all men are the same, we might as well dress them all the same."

The reason they're used in weddings is so that if the groom chickens out... everyone can take one step to the side and the ceremony can continue. Thats why they don't say, "Do you take David Brown to be your lawfully wedded husband?" They say, do you take "This man" ?

1/11/2007 9:44:22 AM
Hurray for Invader Zim. So bizarre and cynical and unserious... I think I should use it as a reference point for who I hang out with.

12/7/2006 2:23:53 PM

I felt sorry for myself, for I had no shoes.
Until I met a man who had no feet.

So I stole his shoes, I mean, what does he need them for?

Now I feel better. :-D


11/7/2006 6:12:26 PM
I've figured it out. On some fundamental level, there are certain basic truths.


1. Men are Stupid.

2. Women are Crazy.

I'll explain.

Men are basically stupid creatures... no matter how intellectual or philisophical or pacifistic a man is... I'm convinced that he basically wants to punch people, stab things, and blow stuff up. Call it leftover savage stuff from ten thousand years ago. At some point, greater upper body strength and aggressive nature was necessary for survival. Not anymore, but thats our roots.

Women are basically crazy... because for 15% of their lives, they're bleeding from their genitals. Can't blame them. That'd drive me crazy too.

10/12/2006 5:16:45 PM
Sex is Natural.
Sex is Good.
Not everybody has Sex.
But everybody Should.

I need to get that made into a T-Shirt

9/10/2006 9:09:33 PM

I enjoy the electronic version of Shania Twains "Getcha Good" so much more than the goofy assed country version.


8/24/2006 9:08:36 AM
Why are there so many dommes out there that feel that being a dominant woman MUST include being a cranky, psychotic mercenary??

Probably because the foolish male population rewards such idiocy. We're all guilty.....

Well, I'm not guilty. And, you, you're probably not guilty. They are though, all of THEM. Shame on them.

8/22/2006 12:24:24 PM
Who cares if somebody's gay or not? Thats one beef that I always wind up having with the straight community is this bigotry against any sexual outsiders.

"I... I just don't want my children exposed to it."

Pfff, like its a chemical spill or something.
*Two lesbians collided today on I-90. Workers struggle around the clock to clean up the sandals.*

8/8/2006 1:02:58 PM
I'm afraid of bees. Irrationally, stupidly afraid of these things. I shouldn't, I mean, I'm a 215 lb, tall, semi-muscular man. I should not be afraid of something I outweigh by over a million times. My capacity for destruction far outshines these tiny, carapaced flyers.... flyers? Fliers? Flyees? Anyway, my point is that I hate wasps. Not White Anglo-Saxon Protestants, either. Huh... I guess I was a wasp growing up. Go figure.

8/4/2006 1:04:28 PM
I've always been attracted to dominant women and I've always found the dominant ones to be absolutely fascinating. Can't help it, its in my nature. At any rate, I stopped believing in religion a long time ago, but I do still have one connection to faith. And that, my friend, is my personal and almost spiritual belief in true love. Maybe its because I watched Princess Bride a lot as a kid, I nonetheless believe with utter surety in soulmates. Perhaps this is the wrong time to bring it up, but I too, have left a few women with tears in their eyes, not because there was anything wrong with them, but because they weren't perfect for me. Maybe I don't know what I'm looking for, but I get the impression like it will be something physically tangible when I meet her.... like some kind of ambient noise in my mind? Anywho, I just ranted for quite a bit, kinda bumbling along in my train of thought. :)

8/4/2006 12:11:01 PM
My last entry was quite awhile ago. Perhaps its time for an update, or a personalized soul search. My stint with the army is now over, and I find myself with time and energy again. Its a nice feeling, and directing those assets in the direction *I* want them to fulfills me. At least temporarily. The past 10 months have been very good to me. Things have gone very akin to a roller coaster ride; in that sometimes things were up and sometimes things were down, but I got off the ride pretty sure I had a good time and rather shaky.  Meh, go figure. At any rate, in that time I've found romance, even love. And it was nice. Really allowed me to flex muscles I'd thought atrophied. I never allowed things to progress farther than romance, because she deserves better. A good woman like that deserves much better than I could give her. She was not my "One". Yes, quaint as it may sound; lost religion included and no faith in fate or destiny anymore, I still cling to my unshakeable belief in soul mates. She was not mine, and I would always be searching; and she's earned the right to somebody without a wandering eye.

10/6/2005 11:40:21 AM
Wow, I feel great. An amazing thing, what kind of potential can be unlocked when the heroic lifestyle is realized. My decision to live life now and in every moment rather than be miserable and put off everything until later has made a major impact on me.
So it begins. No more turning away, no more fear and hesitation, no more wasting time waiting. Your life is yours, and yours alone, rise up and live it.

9/9/2005 1:36:52 PM

Never a frown. Golden Brown.


9/9/2005 12:15:54 PM
I'm alone, sitting with my broken glass.
My four walls follow me through my past.
I was on a Paris train, I emerged in London rain.
And you waiting there, swimming through apologies.


I remember searching for the perfect words, I was hoping you might change your mind. I remember a soldier standing next to me... Riding on the Metro.

I was smiling as you took my hand,
Saw the mood, we spoke of France,
You were fast the shallow one,
isn't faster still a hard,
you were fast a shallow one,
I was smiling as you pulled away.......... Sorry.


I remember the letter-breaker in my hand.
I love you always filled my eyes.
I remember the night we walked along the Seine.
Riding on the Metro.....

I remember a feeling coming over me, then I turned and walked away.
Fuck you for loving me.
Riding on the Metro.


9/9/2005 11:33:17 AM
Hear the Celtic Tiger roar, once more.

9/5/2005 6:02:29 AM
Your life is yours, and yours alone. Rise up and live it.

9/5/2005 5:53:23 AM
Some people are WAY too sensitive for their own good.

5/2/2005 4:38:15 AM
But I, being poor, have only my dreams... tread softly, for you tread on my dreams.

4/11/2005 1:32:16 PM
What makes a man, is it the power in his hands? Is it his quest for glory? Should he give it all he has to fight to the top? What about love, romance, sex, the other half?  Is the story complete without that pinnacle? Is it the woman in his arms, or is it the way he fights every day?

Probably the titties.......

4/3/2005 2:07:31 PM
Will I ever be loved, ever be truly cherished? I've come to feel that I'm a true unique.... a one of a kind man. But regardless of that, I can't help but feel totally alone, all of the time.



Maybe I'm wrong.


I doubt it.


2/26/2005 10:08:00 AM
Ahhhhh, the warrior poet sings for us all.

1/21/2005 4:28:39 AM
I weep and laugh for the future.

1/2/2005 10:35:56 PM
Well, back in Germany, mores the pity. *sigh* Love the place but not the company. I've got to change, I've got to move forward with my life and do something with it. I'm thinking classes or meeting people, doing my best to become proactive, I suppose.

11/7/2004 1:35:52 AM
Ahhhhhhhh.... to be young and in love. Must be nice.

10/1/2004 4:13:26 AM
Somebody pointed out oh-so-recently that I didn't have a profile... I, of course, disagreed, until I finally caught what she meant and suddenly the blinders came off. I have recently taken steps to have this error corrected.

9/28/2004 9:46:26 PM
Ahh, well.... whats a SWM bored out of his mind to do, anyway? Maybe a little Tae Bo(stellar workout, btw)? Should bone up on my German a little better, perhaps? Pick up my Tae Kwon Do again? Kendo? A new hobby? Any suggestions?

9/17/2004 10:53:54 AM
It is SO good to be alive.... I think so many people forget this simple and fundamental rule.... that every day when we wake up is a day to enjoy for its fullest glory. So cheer up, and take pride in that blue sky, or that chicken you eat, and enjoy that lover you find so special..... we may never be here again.... and if thats true, I want to live my life as joyously as I know how.  Happiness and joy are limitless.

9/2/2004 9:15:38 AM
It ALSO occurs to me that I probably don't look at my most intellectual while wearing a "wife beater". What is the real name of that thing, anyway?

8/30/2004 12:57:11 PM
I don't know just HOW much of a difference this is going to make, but I added a photo, more or less for my own entertainment... got to organize a little feng shui action.... and, of course, no smile, which fits the picture but not my personality.

8/30/2004 6:57:49 AM
MUST.... MAINTAIN..... INTEGRITY...... so many depraved people out there, all craving something from someone else. Doesn't anyone just want to talk or (heaven forbid) meet someone with the same interests, cares, worries as they themselves? Ah, well, patience is key.

8/29/2004 12:21:38 AM
King Arthur- Crap
Aliens vs Predator- Crap
Catwoman- Crap

Woe is unto nerds these days craving good film.

8/29/2004 12:20:37 AM
It occurs to me that in my first journal entry, I used interest about 3 times.... perhaps a more eloquent term next time?

8/28/2004 11:44:43 PM

I incurred a neck injury earlier.... I was out on my run.... saw an attractive female and followed her with my eyes. I tried to look backward, when I was already looking backwards.



TODAYS LESSON- The human head cannot rotate 360 degrees.


8/28/2004 11:43:23 PM
Long live the warrior spirit.... running feels very good only AFTER you're finished. During, its just an endurance contest of pain.

8/28/2004 3:16:43 PM
Must say I'm enjoying this site immensely... I find a number of women who are both interesting AND interested in both of my interests.... Lets see where this goes.

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natalie1234589
 
 Age: 28
 South Bend, Indiana