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for the first time its not punishment. but Master did do some pain training on me. using the electro clamps on my nipples and pussy and using other clamps as well, alternating them. he had me make waights for them with two ballons filled with 35 aquarian pebbles in each one to put on the clamps. several times having me pull them off on both my nipples and pussy lips. each time was a bit easier. and im starting to get used to the electro already. He is goign to get a stronger eletro soon. |
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i got punished again. drank alcohol without permission, interupting him while on the phone, and didnt behave as tho a slave should acting as if my body is mine to control and not just his. so Master directed me for an hour long session with the electro stimulator telling me when and where to move the electros and change the level of shocks.
video can be found on my fetlife page, name KarimaManishie |
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ok. an update on the electro stimulator. this bastard hurts!!!!! not even full max and im ready to take it off. but Master wont let me. im gonna cry. trying to laugh to cope but its not working as well as id like. :'( and this is just the nipple clamps on it. he's gonna have me use the pads too tonight along with the clamps. |
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well ive always been curious about electro play. looks like tonight I get to find out how it feels. Master got me an electro stimulator that has four pads and nipple clamps. it came in the mail today. so ill update later how that goes. lol. unfortunately even if I don't like it when I try it ill still have to use it when Master wants me to. heres to hoping I like it. lol |
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started out as a training purpose but then turned into a lesson. Master had me make some tack pads with thumb tacks and tape to wear in my bra and panties. the first day I made them he had me wear them the remainder of the day and over night, allowing me to take them off in the morning. he was teaching me that my body is his to treat how he desires and that my comfort is not mine to seek without his permission. it became a punishment because I was supposed to write this journal about it two days ago but haven't had the time so he has had me wear the tacks for the last two days and I have one more day to wear them as punishment for not making time to do my journal as he said.
for those who haven't tried this before............ IT DOESNT FEEL GOOD. at all. lol4 |
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well been awile since any thing new has happened. at least anything worth writing about in my journals. but heres some new information to go by. i had been MIA for a while, not even checking my messages here. long story short i thought i was gonna leave the lifestyles but then my ex Master re awoke my slave fires within. but now he's broken my heart. after planning to return to him for the past several months he delivered a death blow to me today telling me he will not allow me to return and nothing will change his mind. so now im in a bad spot, not just emotionally and mentally. but i cant stay in my living situation for much longer. maybe a few more months if that. so now im in a hurry to find another in a way i never planned to ever seek some one to serve. but i need some one local who can take me in. i say local for several reason. one being i cant risk relocating to an area i dont know with my child to someone i havent had time to get to know first. so if they are local we can have a chance to meet in person, including going public places with my child too after some time, which would make the proccess of getting to know each other much simpler and faster. also because while i dont want to work to pay on bills because of my believe that the Master is the protector and provider i do drive for lyft in the memphis area and that would allow me to cover my personal things for me and my child untill more security is established. im trying not to sound like the gold digger i was once acused of being becase i wanted to be a stay at home slave. but i know how working gets in the way of me being submissive. so if i am to serve a Master then i cant be required to work for house bills. thats whats killed my current living arangements. he didnt make enough to support me on his own so i had to work too. and no matter how much i tried to prevent it from happening it still nearly killed all desire to be submissive ever again. also please understand that for a while i will be upset over losing what i believed to be my perfect master. so untill i heal from that wound ill be a bit hard hearted. it has cost me the ability to trust much but i dont have the luxury of waiting out untill i recover and can trust again. as stated my situation is at a dire point. so im having to find ways to rush through my normal system of vetting each other to know if its worth trying. and the only safe way to do that is if the person is local so that we can posibly meet in person and work things up that way instead of through lengthly emails and video chats that could take well over a year before knowing if the person is being truethfull. |
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ok i need to update some thing i had said in an earlier journal about answers to sexual questions and limits. i had said that i dont enjoy swallowing cum but have not set it has a hard limit. well im starting to think i need to set it as a health limit. it seems instead of getting used to it when forced or ordered to cum im going the other way. each time i gag and heave more. last time i dry heaved for 10 mins nauseous from it. i dont know what it is but every time it gets worse and i think im gonna have to draw the line on that one. |
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short to the point journal for those few who have subscribed to them:
i have just finished updating my profile. two paragraphs have been rewritten along with my location being changed. so if u havent read my profile in a bit go reread it. |
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alright. just got done editing my profile pics. got a few new ones up. and so people know i DO keep my profile updated. i put alot of hard work into keeping everything updated and current. if its on my profile please read it. i dont put all this work in for nothing. lol. it might also be a good idea to subscribe to my journals if ur interested in me cause i do post journals alot when something new going on. lol. |
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ok another issue that needs to be stated............ if all u want to talk about from the start is sexual preferences keep stepping. cause this site may be advertised as a sexual site but im old school and looking for a permanent LONG TERM partnership. not here for just sex so sexual preferences are the LAST that need discussed. if u have any questions about my preferences read ALL my journals AND profile. cause all u need to know off hand on that topic is there. if u message me and havent shown u have read anything then u WILL be ignored. i do NOT have time for games, bullshit, or posers. the first Doms and Masters i talked to when i entered this lifestyle are older well more experienced men who taught me that this is a way of life. not just a kinky fetish. im 1950s in believe. not a dungeon whore. i may be a slave and might call myself Gorean but i am NOT just three wholes to fuck and i WILL be respected. the submission i have to give is a GIFT and will be treasured as one. not used or manipulated for control freaks here only to use this life as an excuse to abuse willing submissive women. |
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ok guys. here are the answers to some much asked questions:
1 if u like anal u must also enjoy inflicting alot of pain. because of a past issue with my ex fiance i can no longer WILLINGLY handle anal. but as my profile says i am a kajira so its NOT a hard limit. it is a dislike.
2 i get no pleasure from oral sex (giving or receiving because lets face it guys. lot of u dont know what ur doing down there with ur mouth) but as far as giving oral goes i am perfectly willing to do it. BUT my jaws can not handle it for long. once my jaws start hurting its for YOUR safety that i stop. less u wanna risk teeth marks that i can not stop from happening if u insist on "face fucking" my mouth. so that risk is on u if ur willing to take it.
3 i do NOT like bestiality, RP, titty fucking just does nothing for me, urine (water sports), scat play, swallowing cum, or other forms of taboo fetishes. again as a kajira i have no limits to this. but if u want some one to enjoy it im not the one.
also please stop asking me questions that should be answered if u have read my profile such as my age or location. come on guys use ur brains here.
and one last thing. i dont list any physical attractions such as age limits cause i really dont have any. i do prefer men within 10 years of my age but so long as their not younger them me there really is no age limit. as for physical looks go the only thing i can say is a major plus is a man with long hair. LOVE a man with long hair. but its not a requirement or something to move u to the "font of the line" (there not really a line to speak of.) personal interest dont phase me either. i like what i like and others like what they like. but it does help if we share religious interests. again NOT a requirement or means to the front line. i dont really care what ones religion is so long as mine is respected as well.
think i bout covered it for now. if not there will be another journal with updates. thanks. |
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im about ready to make major leaps here. i already dislike this country. and bout ready to be willing to relocate out of it. so long as its an english speaking one. Ireland sounds good to me. being i have Irish blood in me. |
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what happened to the good old fashioned value system of a relationship? back when the man was the bread winning bringing in the bacon and the woman stayed home and took care of house, home, children, and husband? dont get me wrong. as my profile says im willing to work IF i can get a job. but lets face it. the work industry and is a lottery ive bout lost interest in playing because it seems u have to have inside help to get a job. as in RELATED to someone the hiring manager actually LIKES!!! its a system build on favoritism. and i have no one to help me with that. but the way i see it even tho im willing to work should i need to i do NOT believe that a slave should. not because i believe the slave shouldnt HAVE to. but because she is not ALLOWED to. because a working slave is distracted from her true purpose: server her Master, home, and child(ren). what happened to that way of life? ive been called a gold digger recently and im plundering that wondering how the HELL can that be when im not looking for high class living at the expense of my Master. i seek the basics. bills. utilities. if ur on here u already have one of the very few luxuries id like to have which is internet. i believe its the true old fashioned way of things. vanilla or lifestyle. it doesnt matter. but it seems no one sees things the way i do. i know the government is the one to blame for the economy being how it is causing jobs to be scarce and not paying enough for one person to live on their own. but i still believe if u can not afford to live on ur own and pay ur own bills then u have no business on this site looking for a slave. a man is not a Master until he can Master himself. so until u have ur life Mastered and working right then u should not be taking on a slave. as a single mother my working options are VERY limited. if i work it wont be until my daughter starts school and only the hours she is in school. so as much as it pains me to not support for my own child alone i have no choice but to be what most consider a 'gold digger" or "freeloader" because id much prefer staying at home making sure everything is right for my Master and child. if u cant understand any part of this journal then u need to move on. cause ur mind set is not what i need to be around right now. |
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gotta love how there are so many Masters and Doms out there who wont talk to sub/slave less she has a real photo yet dont post pics of them self or only post pics of their dicks. what the hell? also guys please. if u have a major deal braker thats something common like "no big girls" "no smokers" "NO KIDS"? please put it at the top of ur profile instead of at the bottom of a book long essay. the other day i was reading a profile and the guy sounded perfect to what i want and need. but the last lil paragraph at the bottom of his book long essay said no kids and he is not looking to have any. well fuck. i have a 5 year old daughter so i just wasted time reading all that for nothing. -_- |
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