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Welcome, and thanks for stopping by ... if you're actually looking for a straight male partner
SEVADom
Male Dominant, 64,  Hampton Roads, Virginia US

Link to this profile: https://www.collarspace.com/SEVADom

 

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 SEVADom

 Dominant Male

 Hampton Roads 

 Virginia

 5' 8"

 186 lbs

 64

 Caucasian

 02/03/06

 now

Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

Welcome, and thanks for stopping by ... if you're actually looking for a straight male partner!


 


Today's lesson is, 'No good deed goes unpunished'. [If that makes no sense, I'll be happy to explain.]


 


(Scammers, don't waste your time ... because that is the most you'll get from me -- time.)


 


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Although the narrator in this is far more expressive and creative than I am, I am with him 100%: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhGuXCuDb1U&index=1&list=FLadGDQCOBwV3M7_VaO1lxkw


 


I seek a consensual slave, lover, sex object/cum slut/masochist, friend, companion, partner, and significant other--someone to share life with, to care for, learn to love, and own. Are these mutually exclusive? I don't think so! I highly value intelligence and independent thought in a partner.  I lean toward nihilism at the macro (societal) -- but not micro (personal) -- level.


 


I'm also a dom. If I'm fortunate enough to find someone who wants me as their master, then I may also be that. I have been in the past. I exercise. I am quite controlling, although not domineering (and yes, there is a difference). The "50's household" and "lifestyle BDSM" items fit well.


 


I have, for my age, a very active libido. Giving my partner pleasure pleases me no end; a helplessly orgasming woman is incredibly erotic.


 


I love everything about oral sex -- giving it, receiving it, face-fucking, deep throat, coming down my partner's throat, combining giving it with vibrators, combining receiving with bondage of my partner.


 


Regarding limits: I honor them, of course. Limits need to be a key part of our pre-meeting conversations in order to determine whether or not ours are compatible. My hard limits are no kids, animals, scat, permanents marks, or anything reasonably likely to put either of us in the hospital, jail, or the morgue.


 


So long as you're legal, age per se is not an issue -- but your mind, your face, and your body all need to attract me at least somewhat. I'm good with the "grow old together" thing -- but the initial attraction needs to be there, or I can't form that initial bond that makes the "growing old together" a good thing rather than painful. That means visuals (x-rated not necessary) and meetings early on. That goes both ways, of course -- "What's good for the goose ..."


 


If you're not already legally living long-term in the U.S. (or have the ability to do so -- that means either being a US citizen or already having a 'green card'), I'm not interested; nor am I interested unless you're willing to seriously consider relocating to me here in southeastern Virginia.


 


Other dealbreakers include STDs; dishonesty; stupidity; addiction to 'woo' (including but not limited to religion or 'spirituality'); obesity; illegal drug use or excessive drinking; children at home; and smoking (of anything) anywhere other than outside. I do have a cat allergy, although that could be addressed over time if need be.


 


While I'm not a hardcore gamer (i.e., real-life relationships and activities are far more important to me), I do play computer games -- and have a bunch of 'em. It would be good if you also like gaming, although your not doing so is not a deal killer.


 


(My photo was taken in January 2016. I'll be happy to take/provide others if need be.)


 


If you've gotten this far without bailing, thanks for the effort! -- and I very much look forward to chatting with you! I do contact women here I think might click with me. But if you've read to here and would like to chat, please do email me here. I'm friendly ...


 


***** No cyber or phone sex. Cams are great (and I have a good one) -- but for seeing the other person while chatting, not for remote play. Skype first to verify, then a variety of contact measures (text, phone, whatever), then meet. No particular schedule, but days/weeks, not months/years. *****


 


***** Note: I take seriously and agree with the site's excellent recommendation not to send money to someone you've not met in person. If you're a scammer, don't waste your time; it isn't going to happen. If you're not, understand that if we agree that I reimburse you some or all of your travel expenses, it will happen when I see you, not in advance. *****

Journal Entries:
1/4/2012 7:22:19 AM

Detecting stolen pictures in a profile

Want to find out if a picture has appeared elsewhere on the web? There are two good ways I know of: Google Image Search (https://www.google.com/imghp) and Tineye (http://www.tineye.com/). Google is more comprehensive, but Tineye sometimes finds some that Google does not.

Just open Google Image Search and drag the pic from another window onto it* (first onto the tab, then when the tab appears, onto the main target page; a target area will appear). This is all one drag operation; don't release on the tab or you'll just go to the Collarspace profile.

The same technique works with Tineye except the entire tab page is the target.*

There are some browser plugins for Tineye – but I suggest that adding plugins to a browser that aren’t necessary just slows it down; I recommend not bothering.

*Collarspace sometimes does some security stuff that breaks the direct-drag URL access described above (Google will complain: "The URL doesn't refer to an image, or the image is not publicly accessible."). If the direct drag doesn't work directly, first drag the pic to your desktop, then in a separate operation, drag the result to search application.

(Last updated: 21 Sep 2015)


6/13/2011 10:07:04 AM

Submissives and (Consensual) Slaves

Lots of people have opinions on the difference between the two. This summarizes my take on it. I don't claim it's "the right one" -- or even necessarily correct. But this is how I use the words. I will use male pronouns for the dominant, and female pronouns for the submissive/slave, because that is my orientation; I understand that both roles include both genders.
 
Both undertake to serve a dominant. However, a submissive has the right, as part of the relationship, to veto her participation in any given task or activity. The veto can occur either in advance -- that is, when an activity is proposed -- or during (via safeword or other refusal). Her inclination normally will be not to veto anything, both because she does wish to serve, and also because doing otherwise would compromise the relationship over time. (In other words, it would make her dominant unhappy.) However, she does have this veto, and using it occasionally should not necessarily jeopardize the relationship. Because she has this veto, she is in fact the one in ultimate control, whether she exercises it or not.
 
A slave, on the other hand, makes one decision: to become a slave to her dominant. The only relationship decision she might make during the relationship is whether to stay or leave. She does have a "slave's veto" -- the right to say "stop" or "no" because she is after all a consensual slave -- but by exercising it, she may well terminate the relationship, rather than a given scene or activity. She may well express opinions; the extent to which she does so is something defined by the dominant. But they are just that, opinions, not decisions.
 
Exception (for some slaves): during initial negotiations, some M/s agreements include defined activities that will remain off-limits indefinitely, unless the slave explicitly agrees to a change during the relationship.
 
Because submissives as a group tend to avoid contradicting their doms, to an observer there may well be little or no difference in the two types of relationship on a day to day basis. But they are quite different in the minds of the participants.
 
Note that whether or not a person is a "doormat" is not necessarily related to whether she is a slave or submissive.
 
Using the word as described above, I seek a slave, or a submissive who hopes to move into that role over time.
 
A note on safe words in the context of the above:
 
When a submissive uses her "red"-type safeword, it is a formal directive to the dom to stop everything right now. (A "yellow" is more likely to be a signal defined between the two, and can have various meanings.) If he does not honor it, he is in violation of many things. By using it, she has withdrawn her agreement to participate in the activity; continuing could easily make the dom guilty of battery. He would also, of course, be in gross violation of their relationship agreement, whether formal or informal.
 
When a slave uses her "red"-type safeword (or any other signal), it is advisory. She is giving her opinion that things need to stop now -- but both she and her dominant understand and agree that it is an opinion, and not controlling. That being said, any dominant who ignores such a signal is a fool, as it is impossible to know everything no matter how good he is. It could be a signal indicating real physiological danger even if not obvious, and should be investigated instantly.
 
For a dominant and to an observer, the smart reaction to use of a safeword may well be identical in the two relationships. But the underlying imperatives are different.

2/5/2010 8:20:08 AM
Ever notice how most people who make a point of claiming to be honest, aren't?

9/18/2007 1:13:49 PM
Good quotation:

"Do not make someone a priority, when they see you as an option."


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