Part I of a story i wrote a while ago about trying to crawl back into his Mistress" good grace ...

The idea of chastity both thrilled and scared him at the same time. He longed to know what an extended period of time locked with no ability at all to cum, would do to his already growing need to serve Her. He wasn’t sure She understood how deeply his submissive desires had grown toward Her - had been growing - over the last 6 months - even as they had gone thru periods of not seeing each other. All at his fault - and why he was now ... Climbing the Hill.

But one Sunday, after spending several nites running versions of this story thru his head, he finally got up the courage to order the steel cock ring cage and lock. Not only ordered them - but had them shipped to Her so She would know exactly when they arrived. Given his status of still climbing the hill, he did not know if She would want to be the one to put it on - or possibly be the one to click the lock at the end. Or would she simply agree to hold the key ...

He was also very clear of one thing - this was his version of events - and not only would Hers likely be different - Hers would be the one that would take place.

So the steel cock ring and cage was ordered. She had been very non-committal about the whole chastity thing at this particular point in his climb up the hill. But they had discussed it in the past - he knew it was something that would eventually happen - and he wondered what She was really thinking about it right now - about having the cage delivered to Her house. She had a lot going on - her mom's surgery - work - Her exercise program - and he wasn’t sure where he fit into all this at the moment.

As he sat on the plane writing this story, thinking about the point they were at, his cock started to swell. Submissive feelings always did that to him now - and more so when he hadn’t cum in a few days - like now.

A few days later the package must have arrived at her house. He had received a text - it read ... "Package has arrived - You must commit to 5 days without orgasm on your own, starting right now, before we will lock you. You know what to do.

And he did know what to do - he was to respond with a text that read ... "i commit my orgasms to Your abject control".

She had instructed him that each morning as soon as he woke, he was to text Her and assure Her that he had not released in the previous 24 hours - and a statement as to how long it had been since his last orgasm. And each nite - before he went to bed - he was to write Her and tell Her how he was feeling - and what his thoughts were.

So he responded - and sent the required text ... "i commit my orgasms to Your abject control"

The first morning he woke and sent Her a text that read ... "Your pet has not cum since i received Your text yesterday.
The morning of day 2 he woke with a throbbing erection. He knew that when he wasn’t masturbating he always woke with harder erections in the morning. he wondered what it would be like after 2 weeks of no orgasm. What would it be like after a month? Would he get used to it?

He sent Her the mornings text - he knew the first few days wouldn’t be the hard part. He had gone a few days here and there without orgasm - even once gone 6 days before - for Her.

He had never told Her that part of the reason he had cancelled their plans to get together one Saturday before Xmas was that after not cumming for 6 days - he had given in that morning to his weakness and masturbated - had an orgasm. It was one of the reasons he wanted to be locked to Her - to have his orgasm and the depth of his need to be Hers purely and completely owned by Her - controlled by Her. No ability to give into his weakness without Her consent.

ON the morning of day 4 - laying in bed with his cock extremely hard, he wondered what the mornings would be like waking with an erection this large - this hard - when he had the steel cage on his cock. Would it wake him? Would it hurt? He longed to find out ... thoughts of Her raced thru his mind more and more these days. The feel of Her skin - the twinkle in Her eyes when she laughs ... the ways she smells - the feel of Her kiss ...

The morning of day 5 he woke knowing he could be summoned to Her at any time now. He hoped he would be summoned to Her at any time. He needed to be locked in the cage - it was getting harder and harder not to cum. He knew She knew this - was sure She was enjoying his torment - and had told him if he did not make the 5 days - he would have to start over. She knew he would never lie to Her.

How much longer would She make him wait. Now not only would he be in the cage for a month, but he had already gone almost a week without cumming on top of that. He sent Her the morning text and later that day received a text back from Her - "meet me at Sage tomorrow nite for a drink - 630 - don’t be late.

They met the next nite. He was wearing a purple lace thing they had purchased together - and was very excited to see Her. It had been almost 2 weeks since they had seen each other. She was more touchy than usual, obviously in more of a teasing mode. They had a drink and shared a few appetizers. As the bartended delivered their second cocktail, She leaned into him and whispered into his ear - "Are you sure?"

He said ... Yes Mistress.
She leaned over to him again and again whispered into his ear ... "If we do this - I own your ass" and leaned back and took a sip of Her wine. He looked at Her again and said " Yes Mistress ... that is what I want"

She leaned over to him and said - "look me in the eyes. This next month is not about your pleasure. It is about making You think seriously about serving Me. Here are the rules ... we are going to lock You for at least a month. Once a week we will have a ... session ... to see how you are making out ... and to push you. We may get together more often than that <he hoped> but it will be at least once a week at my convenience. We will only get together once a week when you have lost at least 3 pounds in that prior week. So if it takes you 8 days to lose the 3 pounds, we wont meet for at least 8 days. But it wont be any more frequently than weekly."

She sat back - took a final sip of Her wine - stood up and said - "Pay the tab and meet me outside - it is time."
End of Part 1

To be her thing.

That is what you want, what you have always wanted.

What you think of, lying there awake or dreaming--you are not sure which.

To exist as her object. To be used for her pleasure. To have no say--none.

How would one explain this wish to be used, to be abused, to any "normal" human being?

Don't we all desire "respect"? Isn't the very idea of respect of persons central to our entire ethical and political system? How could one possibly explain the craving, the deep need, to be used like an object in a culture that practices but also decries objectification? "No self-respecting person would want THAT!"

A Mistress does not judge. She knows and, more importantly, understands what you desire.

She understands, for example, that it is good to make you kneel naked before her, to make you beg to lick Her black high heels, to make you lay there, open and available and vulnerable, to have you beg Her to give you the slightest amount of attention (thinking all the while of whether you are in any way worthy of having Her fuck your ass, which you are not). These things a Mistress understands. And she does not judge. All she demands, requires, is your absolute submission.

* * * * *

To submit absolutely to the will of another.

Why? Why do you desire that? These are empty questions. It is what you crave, what you need. It is neither pathological nor admirable. It just is what it is. The others ("society") does not understand. But neither do those who write their BDSM stories on this site, those who appeal merely to the prurient desires, but without any understanding of what it means to serve, to need very deeply to serve Her—and to derive one's sense of self-respect from that total submission.

But a Mistress understands.

Because when you are used in that way, you are special.

It is only then that you feel really alive.

Then, when She takes over your very being, possessing your body and your mind, freeing you from having to enact the fantasy of a "free subject."

This freedom of which they speak, what can it mean compared to the feeling of Her heel pressed into your chest, daring you to breathe without Her permission?

What can it mean, this freedom, compared to being at Her disposal, to do as she likes with you?

What can it mean to be free if you are not in the presence of Her, the Goddess who alone gives your miserable existence meaning?

* * * * *

To be available.

In the "position," on all fours, ass high, hoping to be fucked.

What you want. What you have always wanted.

You lie awake, dreaming of Her black stiletto heel, pressing on your ass, sliding up your anus, taking you over.

Her strap on … slowly shoved in your gaping mouth, gagging you.

Feeling the edge, where you know not whether you shall live or die, whether She will spare you, give you one more chance to please Her.

* * * * *

To be humiliated

Treated like the worthless object that you are.

To hear Her voice as it rips apart your very being.

Strips you of any pride, value, worth.

Strips you of all that you are.

Only then do you really exist.

* * * * *

To be penetrated

Force-fucked, so hard that you feel yourself split wide open and exposed to Her view.

With no respite, nowhere to hide.

That is what you want, slut. Recognize who you are, what you are.

A hole to be filled, nothing more.

This emptiness, an abyss of self-abnegation that you shamelessly expose to Her view.

* * * * *

To give yourself

Give yourself over, completely.

"Miss ..."

The name sticks in your throat, threatening to destroy you, promising to save you.

Losing, yielding your will to Her.
Feeling the pleasure in the sacrifice, sensing the meaning in her arbitrary commands.
Only then are you confronted with your freedom, the contingency of your existence.

Only then are you alive to who you are.

Recognize this hole in your very being.

* * * * ***

This is about a journey that i wish to share with you ... Of course at some point i will have to go back and explain how all this started ... how my journey to dominance started ... first back in high school, but then again with earnest as an adult. But more interesting, i am sure, is how did i become a man who longs to be on his knees to a strong Woman ... a man who is teased and denied by that Woman ... his orgasm owned by Her.

But i will leave that for my next few entries here. For today i want to share a thought on all this ... and a desire. My thought centers around the few Dommes i have encountered over the years ... and a basic difference i see between their views and my views on a D/s type relationship. As a dominant ... i was a strong proponent of behavior modification. But it was used not only to have my wishes granted ... but to encourage positive changes for the woman that i was with. My quote was ...
"I believe that a dominants role, is to be that safe place a Woman would crawl to .. to become all that He and she ... desire that she become".

I dont see that so much with dominant Women. I know this is a generalization ... but for the most part it seems to me the focus is on ... it isnt about the male submissive ... it is about the MISTRESS. What the Mistress wants ... what the Mistress expects. i understand the primary focus of needs and pleasure should be the Mistress. However, it doesn't seem to be about mutual happiness and enjoyment for both of them ... it seems to focus exclusively on the Mistress.

An example ... during an extended period of orgasm denial ... a Mistress and i had a conversation about when She would allow me to cum next. i realized during the conversation, that there was no consideration for my pleasure what so ever. Any comment on my part about kissing her or touching Her ... resulted in comments about only if and when i say so ... this is NOT about Your desires!

Now maybe I am/was a different kind of dominant ... and i know my above comments are generalizations ... but it seems to me that female Dominants are overly focused on their desires, with little to no concern about the male submissive. A female friend who is submissive ... and has been in the lifestyle a long time ... said it this way when i discussed this with her ... "Most Fem Doms I know ... milk sub men"

Desire ...
A recent desire
I am not allowed to cum for two weeks or so ... so that i am in quite a state of need and denial. My desire is to be tied on my back ... with my legs back ... so my cock and ball area ... as well as my ass ... are completely open and exposed to my Mistress.

Her ... with only a feather ... and maybe Her breath or the ligthest touch of a finger nail ... tormenting the area around my balls ... without even touching my testicles ... Avoiding my cock completely at the beginning ... and tickling that area between my ass and my balls. She said she would like to do this to me for 2 to 3 hours. Building my need ... taking me to deeper levels of ... teasing and denial ...

ANAL Enslavement

 When the one who yields is male, the secret is in his inner anatomy, not in his outer endowment -- many Domme-centric ladies use this knowledge to maintain optimum pleasure for themselves, while others continue on the altogether more problematic path of adopting stern demeanors of such startling contempt for the male that he is rendered not only quiescent in his responsiveness, but also intimidated to such a degree he is unable to profoundly dedicate himself to the deep pleasuring of Her!

By the employment of direct and skillful deep rectal stimulation, however, a Domme not only accesses his true submissive willingness, she re-orients his most basic instincts radically. He becomes both grateful and relieved to the point of the most able devotional sexuality imaginable, eager to be used for her pleasure rather than simply resigned to his own abject humiliation. The difference is qualitative to the most extraordinary degree. And once he is thoroughly indoctrinated by such pleasure principles, the very notion of selfish, self-absorbed phallo-centric crudity rapidly vanishes. He learns who he really is, what his true purpose is, and how innately & vastly superior her demands always are and always will be. He gives it up, wholeheartedly indeed, without reservation or resistance.

What is male milking, you ask? Some think it is the repeated forced masturbation of the male slave to the point of his finally not being able to ejaculate ... some think it is the teasing and stimulation right up to the point of ejaculation, but with no actual release – taking him to the edge over and over, driving him batty with the denial of ultimate release. While such methods do insure a certain modicum of control, the most effective

Technique goes much deeper into his being.

True milking actually denies the slave the one thing he truly loves to do the most: to explode his essence in a wild and utterly incapacitating explosive release. And this denial is achieved through the skillful violation up into his most vulnerable orifice. True milking is the controlled stimulation of the male sub’s prostate gland, causing the non-eruptive discharge of his semen ... “discharge” and “leakage” instead of spurted ejaculation, because discharge is not orgasmic like an ejaculation, but more of a constant maddening oozing and draining of his essence. She prevents him from his release, holding him at a point where her purposes are the only ones that matter. He is well stimulated, to be sure, but the intensity is so well controlled by her that he becomes his Lady’s total slave. This is denial, but with a critical difference: his deepest inner sexuality is manipulated to the point that enslavement to her wishes is his only release, is what binds him enduringly and without reservation to thorough and endlessly wholehearted pleasuring of his Lady.

Milking is the deep and continual massaging of the prostate and surrounding area.  Continual massaging of his prostate forces the slow release of his semen down through his urethra to his penis.  This deep rectal forcing of his fluids is so spellbinding to him that it eventually and irrevocably makes him her sexual slave.

The massaging can be by fingers, or an object like a dildo.  Lengthy practice will assure the acquiring of the best technique for optimum dildo control and consequent anal enslavement of the male. Regular size vibrating dildos of about 6-8 inches in length are best. A ribbed dildo is particularly effective.

As stated earlier, unlike masturbation, which results in an explosive release (ejaculation), massaging of the prostate to the point of milking is neither explosive nor as acutely ecstatic for him. Again, massaging the prostate and milking the slave is a slow process that results in the draining of his essence as well as the draining away of his will to resist his Lady. It is hypnotically pleasurable but nowhere near the acute pleasure of cumming by jerking-off, or by being jerked off.

During milking, the cum oozes out in slow drips and there is no explosive ejaculation. To aid in the milking, grasp the base of the penis and squeeze the juices out while massaging the prostate. These expressed juices can be simultaneously smeared around his lips and nose while he is being probed with dildo or strap-on, to aid greatly in the re-conditioning process.

When being used anally via dildo, to get the best stimulation to his prostate he must also assist her by working the dildo against his prostate, arching and bending into its pressures. He will be more than eager to do this, grinding his hips. With practice he will become most uninhibited in his gyrations. So his Lady not only fucks him, but he fucks himself for her. He becomes her dancing erotic puppet at the end of her control.

Another thing about milking is that the slow drippings of his cum always leave him only partially satisfied, and constantly sexually frustrated ... he has a constant feeling of being on the verge of cumming so he keeps grinding and massaging, or wanting his prostate to be massaged, in the hopes of actually cumming. Blinded by the spell of her manipulator and as invasions, he turns and moans and is helpless. This is really great for her, because right after a typical slave cums, he loses a lot of his submissiveness, and with a reduced feeling of submissiveness, the Lady also loses some of her control. Not so with milking: the slave is never fully sexually satisfied so he remains sexually frustrated, submissive, obedient and attentive. He will beg and weep and beseech his Lady to keep fucking him so he can get closer and closer to his release. Yet it keeps him on the edge of his ejaculation, without that critical orgasmic release.

His experience is a lot like what his Lady sometimes feels during clitoral stimulation from hand massaging, or from oral service, or from fucking, but incompletely so - if such stimulation continues and is done properly, his Lady can climax in a very strong manner, similar to when a male ejaculates. Not so with milking, since he remains on the edge throughout the milking, however long she may wish to prolong it. This makes him crave more and more stimulation, hoping he will be allowed a strong and final orgasm. The cruel and delightful truth is that it never comes, not for him. She can keep him willingly maddened indefinitely, subject to whatever erotic whims she demands.

What happens is the male becomes more and more eager to please her and to feel the extremes of her manipulation. Instead of the orgasmic release of cum, only those drips of cum ooze out... with ease she gets him to lick his own forced dribbles from her hand, addicting him to the juice she forces out of him – since he is constantly draining and constantly kept from a full-blown ejaculation, he comes to crave this taste of himself and this state of affairs and becomes conditioned to these subtle but extraordinary sensations, knowing it’s the only way to please her.

So his Lady, thru teasing, orgasm denial, and milking, conditions him endlessly, and she gets him to love being fucked up the ass (and to finding his penis relatively useless, except for peeing and dripping cum ... it’s entirely up to Her!). She can get him to desire being bound and restrained, to love being flogged and love drinking his own essences, and, through her dildo fucking him constantly, love to be taken anally over and over for long periods of time. She can settle over his face with her own hips as she continues to grind her dildo against his inner organ, forcing him to pleasure both her cunt and asshole with his nose and lips and tongue as long as she wishes, rubbing herself over his upturned head exhaustingly, thru the repeated multiple orgasms she will be able to give herself. Not exactly face-sitting, this is more like face fucking! An ideal posture of worship for the male and for the female alike. And if the Lady is one who particularly enjoys having her the rim of her anal sphincter tongue-fucked, she will be able to indulge herself in this pleasure indefinitely. He will beg her not to stop fucking him, burying his tongue repeatedly.

He becomes her lap dog forever, if that’s what she wants . . . he will deny her nothing. Beatings and humiliations of any and all variations are hers on demand, his upturned cheeks hers for the taking, whenever and however and for as long as she needs. Her only limit will be her own ongoing imagination and physical stamina. She paces herself by alternating deep rectal churning with other activities, gradually reshaping the contours of his libidinous nature to her own lust. She eventually gets his conditioning to the point of making him bow to her wishes with no actual stimulation of his penis at all, simply through touching the vibrating head of her dildo to his pucker, or even just by saying it -- a whispered promise that she’s going to fuck him will have him on his knees instantly, his happy, eager face upturned. Or anything else upturned. Lady’s Choice!

Because the male's truest submissive nature is most clearly revealed while he is in a state of sexual frustration, it’s best to persist with this particular method of domination at all times.  To keep him in a state of total need and uninhibited willingness to please her is the goal. And, as explained above, milking is what accomplishes this, beyond any other technique at her disposal.

I found this to be a very intertesting article on training a male slave ... it is a bit lengthy ... but excellent still.

The Art of Adoration - By Dianna Vesta

Men are drawn to female domination by their sexual fantasies. An image invokes sensation and excitement never before experienced. Its intensity is penetrating and it moves against their moral grain. Uncontrollably they are seduced into the mysterious dark waters of the feminine abyss.

It is during this moment of surrender that the male will be susceptible to true transformation. The conscious mind is forgotten and the door to his heart opens. He becomes a malleable palate. Any work done on this level will have lasting effects. Exactly what does this mean? It means that a male is controlled by his libido. If a woman captures his attention and literally seduces him to his knees, she will be able to own his soul. She may not agree with his fantasies, however she understands them and using them to bring him to complete subjugation. A place where he will literally do anything to please her. If she tries to teach him her way outside of this state there may not be lasting affects. His expectations and preconceptions will make it impossible to penetrate his psyche. However, while in a state of subjugation she can lead him into understanding her way.

How is this done? Adoration and love are the key elements of successful transformation. Love and adoration is a magic that is enjoyed by both Mistress and slave. Unfortunately males are not born with the ability to do this correctly. You can scream, yell, plead and threaten the male to understand but he can not. If he says that he does he is lying because true love and adoration for a Mistress must be experienced and only you can teach him this.

A Domina is a creator and master of her "here and now". If she wants to rule her world then she must be fully responsible for creating her reality. She is smarter then those who seek to serve her. She is a Queen and must truly believe that she is. A good leader is one who observes the needs of her people and devises a plan that fulfills the purpose of all. This does not mean that she serves the needs of her slaves but considers the needs, thoughts and emotions of anyone that is involved in her world. As mother with child she has a genuine desire to give, honor and love, however she also disciplines and teaches so that she may protect her children.

When you beckon a male into your world, transform him and shape him, you must take the responsibly in protecting him. He will have difficulty balancing a patriarchal world with his matriarchal lifestyle. Feelings of guilt and conflict will often surface. Another reason why adoration and love are essential. Love and adoration is the glue that holds, bonds and protects everything you work so hard to obtain. Many of you have started relationships only to have the male run in another direction. It is painful and appears to be an act of violation, however it is not. A male must be carefully prepared and nurtured in this process. If you enter a relationship with a male and expect him to be the one to take the initiative and intuitively know how to please you, you've got a lot to learn. The male is incapable of this.

So the first step is finding a male who is interested in you. The two of you have like interest. There must be an initial attraction for both of you unless he is strictly a servant. Different sets of rules apply for this relationship and will be covered in another article. This article addresses the intimate relationship between Mistress and male slave. The attraction may be physical, spiritual or both. You both have a sincere desire to explore each other. There is a lingering hunger needing to be fed.

As I have written in my article, "Erotic Control: The Art of Loving Domination", we must capture his attention by using a bag of tricks, so to speak. We carefully observe him to understand exactly what these sexual urges are. It is to our benefit that we pry as deep as possible to know the many facets of his sexual complexities. This won't always be an easy task. You can ask a male what his fantasies are and he'll only describe those fantasies he wishes to explore at that time. He'll protect himself by treading lightly and carefully making sure that he doesn't say the wrong thing and be rejected. It is a very rare incident when a male will completely disclose his true feelings and sexual fantasies which is why you must study and test him.

This process seems like a lot of work but in the end it will pay off. During the process you can still enjoy pleasure from the male. It is important, however that you're strong and don't become too vulnerable to emotion during this training process. It is our instinct to move quickly when we see something we want. Women too can develop expectations and end up sabotaging a potentially good relationship. If she gives and expects too much to soon he may run in another direction. He will become overwhelmed and scared. It sucks but it happens. After all this is why women are superior. They can have more control over their emotions because they understand them. Their capacity to love is far greater then a man.

Far to many women get into a D&S relationship and right away begin feeding the sexual needs of a male. She wants the relationship so badly that she looks to feed his fetishes. She may enjoy doing this but this is not real training and I assure you that you will get burnt out catering to his sexual fantasies. At the same time they must be considered. As I mentioned above, it is beyond words and actions. He may tell you his fantasies and you can place them in your arsenal. Arsenals of weapons that will eventually fight machismo and bring him to the desired state of subjugation.

I have never met a submissive male yet that didn't enjoy catering to his Queen. He may not be great at it but he can learn in small steps. It's important to be instructive. Don't be afraid to outline details of what you expect from him. Males need this because they lack intuition and creativity. They can learn this after they have truly been exposed to the Divine Feminine and have become true slaves. This takes much time. Depending on the enlightenment of the male she may start with small task of adoration, such as being given a bath, massage or foot worship.

Foot worship is very symbolic for the male. Even if he is not a foot fetishist the act of foot worship is very penetrating. It places you above him and he below you. This act of adoration gives him a chance to pay attention to detail and gives you an indication if the male is worthy of going any further. If the male can not focus on your comfort and pleasure during this act, get rid of him. He'll do nothing but waste your time. It shouldn't matter that he's not into feet. This act of worship is a primary element to the success of his servitude. If he can't caress, adore, and love your feet properly, what makes you think he'll be able to do the same to the rest of your body?

Your body is a temple. He is your subject and must learn to care, honor and ADORE this temple. All that you are and all that comes from this temple is sacred. If he is not worthy of worshipping your feet, which is the threshold, then he must not enter. The male who is worthy will prove himself by carefully focusing on your comfort and pleasure. He will kneel and begin by kissing the shoes on your feet. It's important that you instruction him to do so. I enjoy watching him peck lightly as my shoes and then I may instruction him to use his tongue.

There is a process of initiation happening here. First he is permitted to kiss the ground you have just walked on. He is then allowed to kiss your shoes. If he does so correctly then he may have the honor of his lips touching your flesh. He kisses and with your instruction he beings to lick and suckle. During this time he must be holding up your foot so that it is aligned with your hip, otherwise you will feel a strain. You should not have to hold your foot up for him nor should you have to strain. It is important that he does this properly. He must focused and aware.

If he is lazy he'll begin to complain or falter on his adoration. This should tell you that he is incapable of long periods of adoration. Do you really want him to go any further? The way a man suckles is important. Is he sloppy and hurried or does he take his time and really adore each and every inch of the flesh he has been honored to worship? You should be able to tell if he's focused on pleasing you or if he's simply just trying to get the job done. If he is the latter, give him his walking papers now. If not, you may instruct him to proceed up your leg. He should do this slowly and affectionately never missing an inch.

When he approaches your thighs you may allow him to kiss the inside. Sometimes I will wear panties and sometimes I will not. I want him to know that the sacred triangle is there...to see it, smell its scent, however at this time he is not worthy to touch it. As he kisses your thighs he will probably have an erection. Don't scold him for this. You want him to always have an erection for you or as much as possible. It is during this state of excitement where you will do serious work/transformation. You may get very excited once the male reaches your thighs, especially if he has done a good job. Do not let him lick or be allowed to make you have an orgasm. Not at this time.

Lift his head up to your bare breast and teach him to worship and adore your breast. He should become intoxicated with these acts of adoration. You should begin to see a difference in his demeanor. The more excited he gets the more open the vortex of subjugation. Have him hold and kiss your breast. Smother his face between them if you are well endowed. Let him fill the power of them. Explain to his what they are: "Worship carefully that which nurtures all life. When you are hungry I will feed you. When you are afraid I will protect you. When you don't please me I will punish you."

At that moment he is thinking, "Yes, Yes, yes..." He may even be mumbling this. Push or kick him away. Helplessly he may tremble because of the sudden disconnect, however believe it or not he is still connected. Now is the perfect time to make an introduction. I like to use my panties. I might take off the ones I already have one and place them against his face. The excited slave probably thinks he'll be worshipping your vagina next, but he's dead wrong. I explain to him how sacred and special the panties are and they he will be allowed to worship them. He may not be into panties, however I promise you that at this point he's into ANYTHING that has touched your divine body!

He has just been allowed to feel your flesh, taste you and smell you. The panties are all he has left now that you have kicked him away. If he has a strong foot fetish (not a shoe fetish) then you may decide to give him a pair of shoes or stockings to worship. Carefully instruct him on how he must do this. I want my slaves to have an altar of some type. It can be a simple table in the corner or even better a small closet set-up in your honor. You will have your own personal preferences. Some women are very elaborate while other simple. Keep in mind that the male isn't a creature capable of great detail.

Commitment is difficult for him so it's best to keep daily rituals simple. I enjoy a place where he can place my picture, a candle and the objects I have given him to worship. If he does not live with me then he may get a hidden place or a small table with a drawer. Some students have found small trunks where they have placed a nice cloth over or a nice table that with a drawer so they can place items of worship inside bringing them out only during their ritual. I want my picture, the candle and fresh flowers to always remain in open sight. You are his Queen and he will worship no others.

Every woman has her preferences on when or how she wants her male to orgasm. Some may wish to be a part of this in an intimate fashion, some will want no part of this and direct him to masturbate during specified times and others may completely deny the male an orgasm. He must never ask. It must never be his choice. It will always be a gift you allow him to have. He must know and honor this. Personal service is something every male needs to learn. Lessons in personal service teaches him better adoration because he can feel pride and honor in caring for you.

He is taught how to draw a bath, bathe you, shave your legs, wash you hair and apply the proper oils or creams. I enjoy shaving the lower section of my pubic hairs. I often teach the male to do this. He begins to build a close bond with your body and it epitomizes adoration. You may want to wait before allow him to worship "the holiest of holy places where all life comes from" until he has proven worthy. Once he has you will want him to lick your vagina lips after a shave to make sure he has given you a close shave. This often excites both of us.

I am always very careful to reinforce male submission with love. His understanding of love is different then yours. He confuses love with sex. Believe it or not he attempts to learn about love and women with sex. Transformation and training will begin to change this, however it won't happen overnight. I reach into my arsenal and pull out one of his desires or needs. I might tease and dangle it before him. I am very subtle at doing this.

When I see that he is excited enough I will careful replace it with something else. Let me use an example. You have a male who has a strong oral fetish. You instruct him to rub your feet all the while he can see up your legs. You might even touch yourself and tell him how horny you've been lately. He'll get all excited and he may even speak out of turn or give you a pathetic whine about pleasing you. You take off your panties and toss them to him. "Here, you want to taste me, slave?" You tease him until he shakes. While he is in this state, longing to feed his fetish, you intrude him to other things. Perhaps you will introduce a butt-plug or dildo, a whip or bondage. Anything that pleases YOU.

With this new introduction I am affectionate and intimate. Even if I spank his little ass it is not meant for punishment. It is an introduction. I tease him, run the leather paddles around his ass and balls. I gently smack him. I might stop and kiss him, caress him and tell him what a good boy he is. I might then stand close enough, need over with the strap or paddle, my vagina so close to his nose he can smell me, and begin paddling a little harder. At this point he'll do almost anything for me and I want him to prove it!

"My vagina is dripping wet. I know you want to taste me, don't you?"

"Oh yes, yes, my goddess!"

The leather paddle smacks lightly.

"But only a real man is worthy of this honor, boy. Are you a real man? Are you will to prove this to me?"

He will hesitate for a moment because he can feel the paddle on his ass. At this point you may want to push your vagina a little closer to his nose or touch yourself and let him taste your fingers with your juices on it. This will excite him. Smack a little harder with the paddle.

"Then prove to me that you can take it like a man. A real man and I will allow you the honor of serving a REAL woman."

This process can go back and forth and each situation is different so I'll stop here. The main thing is that you begin to change his ideas about the things he hates or the things he dislikes yet you enjoy and the knowing that he'll do anything to please you.

A male may say he is turned off by crossdressing (not that I really give a shit what turns him on or off!) and I'll have a pair of panties on him in the next scene. I use my arsenal and creativity. I can assure you that that male will be dreaming about panties from that day on. It may take a few times. I want to dig as deep as I can into his soul and touch him places no other woman can. I want to create new desires and begin to shape and mold him into my property.

At the same time I want to teach him love and adoration so that we may both bond. This trusting bond is the nirvana of this type of relationship. A bond that will not be easily broken. The male will begin to feel pride and safety in this type of relationship. His innate desire to control will begin to dissipate. Male ego will be reduced to allow authentic matriarchal training. I must stress something very important. Males need direction. They are unable to read your mind and only a very trained male can anticipate your needs. You must be very instructive with your training and at the same time don't overwhelm the male with too much to do.

This process takes time and a lot of patience. The male creature simply does not have the strength and ability you have for love and commitment. He must be taught to love your way and he isn't equipped with the communication skills and language for this. Because he is incapable I learn his simple language. I speak to him in a way he understands to get his attention and then slowly I teach him my way. If I force him he won't listen or ever really understand what I'm doing. His devotion will be temporary and he will only seem aware when his dick gets hard. I must be committed and make time to do this work if I'm going to achieve good results. If you are lucky you may find a male who has some basic training, however training and practice never stops. If you stop demanding adoration and fall behind on training then he will too. Much like a devoted dog he can forget the tricks you teach him. You must be consistent with your training and be sure to respect and love him for his accomplishments yet be prepared without delay to punish him for his transgressions. Allow him to experience woman. Teach him to adore your body, serve your needs, drown in your essences, and drink of you. Let him smell your hair, taste your sweat, lick your royal dierrre, drink your piss and honor your flesh. You can subjugate yourself to society that criticizes you or you can become a Goddess of your own Queendom. *********************************

Goddess Dianna Vesta is a lifestyle Mistress and owner of The Fetish Network, the largest organization of products and services in the world for those who have an interest in SM, fantasy and fetish. TFN provides education as well as quality entertainment for couples and those seeking information. Dianna Vesta is well known for her articles and teaching seminars, couples and training males to adore and love a dominant woman. She is available for phone consultations and private meetings. To learn more visit her web site at www.fetishnetwork.com