Today is May 16th 2017. i really miss Him. i am getting better with the ECT that i am getting through the VA. i am hoping that soon i will be finished with it. However, i will be starting a group therapy for MST. Something that happened when i was in the military and i never dealt with it. i guess it will be time to deal with it now. But what i really want so very much is to go meet Him. i really think He is the one for me. He is amazing, He is wonderful, He is mi Guerrero y heroe. He is charming, funny, handsome, intelligent, and pretty much everything i could ask for. i am just hoping that He will still want me after i am done with my medical treatment. For as long as He wants to be, He will be my Warrior.
September 22, 2017
I am sad to say I was wrong. He was not my Warrior. He disappeared suddenly and I have not heard from Him since May. It is now September. Oh well, such is life. I don't know if He died, or just decided that He was no longer interested and chose not to tell me. I prefer to think it was the former, only because I think that He had enough integrity not to do the latter.
September 24, 2017
So after I after I added to my profile day before yesterday, I heard from Him rather suddenly. I am so excited. I was wrong. Perhaps He will become my Warrior. He is a Warrior, i just hope that He chooses to become my wonderful Guerrero y Warrior. He is muy guapo.
The treatment i am getting through the Veteran's Administration is really helping me a lot. i am so thankful for it. A lot of my profile i wrote over the past few years, adding to it as i went along. i realized i have not added a date each time i added or changed something. So i am going to add a date. Right now, it is 3/16/2017. Tomorrow is St. Patrick's day. Anyhow, there is a Master that i am very much interested in and i hope that i get to meet Him and that things work out. Time will tell, but i am going to hope and pray that it does. Smiles. He lives in another country, and He knows who He is.
i am temporarily staying in North Dakota with my daughter while i get treatment at the Grand Forks/Fargo Veteran's Administration for Chronic resistant depression.
September 22, 2017
It looks like I am going to be in North Dakota for the next year. That is okay, I have a lot of issues to work on dealing with myself.
I hope that when I am better mentally and physically, I will find the one that is right for me.
September 24, 2017
Just hearing from Him is healing in and of itself. i feel so much better emotionally knowing that He is alive and well. He had a valid reason for not being able to contact me. i am so thrilled that He is alive. i don't know if we will end up together, i do hope so, but just knowing that He is living has me feeling so very happy.
Back to May 2017 again.
i am submissive. i am an average homemaker. i am married. My husband is not my dominant. He has however, given me permission to play, and to have a D/s relationship with a dominant. We have also agreed to get a friendly divorce in the next year or two. We are good friends, but we don't have the healthiest of marriages. In fact, we have just recently told our kids that we will be getting divorced within the next year or so...probably sooner than later.
i have children, some of which are still at home. The youngest is seventeen. i am a proud mom. i recently finished the local community college, but would still like to take some classes after I find a job.. i have my associate's degree in arts and sciences, and i am now a CMA. i am overweight, as losing weight seem to be a battle that is common to many. Grins. i just wish it was not common to me.
i have always been submissive, i just did not always have a name for what i was, i am also a christian. i have very strong views about how i feel what my role is in this lifestyle.
i have decided that i am too jealous for a polyamorous lifestyle. When i am free to have a D/s relationship, i want it to be a monogamous one.
i have the floggers pictured, because i made them. They are not perfect, but since i made them...they are great. Grins.
Feel free to talk to me.
5/12/2017 10:32:01 AM
May 16th 2017 around 3:30 North Dakota time. i am not sure if that is central time or not. i am used to PST because normally i am in Washington. However, i am currently staying with my daughter in North Dakota while i get medical care through the VA clinic in Grand Forks and the VA hospital in Fargo. The staff at both places are wonderful people. i appreciate the friends i have made on here. i do wish that those who show an interest will be understanding when i inform them that there is someone i am already interested in. But i do thank you for your kindness and interest and i am willing to be a friend, but at this time there is only one person that i want to be my Dominant and Master, and i hope beyond that He will want the same.
3/16/2017 8:01:52 AM
Again a so called dominant asked me to give him a twenty dollar i-tunes gift card because he needed it in order to view a contract he received in the mail. I assume he meant email. Regardless, i told him no. If you want to ask for money fine, do so, but realize most submissives will not take you seriously as a dominant. At least I don't.
3/12/2017 4:11:35 PM
There is someone i really like, and hope that i get to meet Him and see where things will go. However, i am still getting treatment for depression. i am currently having ECT or electroconvulsive therapy, which has really been a huge blessing and help regarding my mood, emotion, and depression. i feel a lot lighter inside, and happier. i don't feel the heavy weight of depression as much, nor is my mood as dark as it had been. i am getting better for which i am grateful for.
10/19/2016 1:57:54 PM
I am no longer going to belong to anyone, which is just as well since I have been fighting depression.
8/26/2016 6:07:31 AM
I hurt someone's feelings because he did not read my previous journal entry he did not realize I was not looking, so when he asked about my wants and desires i told him there was only one person i wanted and desired. He did not handle the rejection very well, and so i have edited my profile to show the same thing as my previous journal entry as I do not want to cause any confusion of anyone looking at my profile.