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daisyboy
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PasinThru
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MissTrista
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NocturnaNoir
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" No one controls your honor, only you can."
I'm a novice submissive seeking a long term relationship with a Dom. I wish that my Dom is well- established and strong.I am seeking a man that is well educated as well as open minded. At this time, I am looking for 24/7 relationship within guidelines of my mentor that has been working with me in real time.
Have been told that I have a strong personality and am not afraid to speak my mind.Yet have a desire to learn all that I can about being submissive. I am eager to learn what makes a good submissive and Dom as well.
I hate to have to add this to my profile for it may appear that I am selfish or self absorbed.
Please don't bother to email me if you are barely 20 or over the age of 50. I am seeking locals and have no desire to be anyone's "pen pal" or "online conquest".
Please also note this about me, I adore to use the journal feature here and take great pride in all entries. To gain an insight to whom I am, please read them. Some entries are silly, other just day to day stuff, and others are very erotic.
As well as my journal shows my current journey I have started with a mentor that is local to my area. Please respect this.
Not looking for a Dom that is abusive or disrespectful to me in anyway. Will not tolerate LIARS or CHEATERS!!
The second photo here is an example of what I wish to wear as my collar. A Celtic Blood Cross on my left shoulder blade.I realize that any form of collar will be a mutual agreement with my Dom and is not something I think should be done in haste.
The next photo I borrowed from another site, thanks to cuddlebunny for the photo. Its the perfect way to show how I feel when I am in scene with my Mentor.
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Am only able to check in here via my new droid cell. I love my new toy from my vanilla. I hope to be able to be in the chatrooms soon. Will check in as often as I can. |
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I am back, but not sure for how long. Still do not have my own computer. I have missed all my friends deeply. |
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I have made a decision that I pray was not made in haste.
Without the use of my OWN laptop, I have been not been able to use my vanilla's very often. Without the use of MINE, I have been forced to cancell several "monday nights" with my Sir. This has made me very sad and filled with bad thoughts.
Very recently, I was able to download Yahoo Im program on my vanilla's laptop and was flooded with messages from my Sir. He asked me point blank if I was bored with Him and wanted out. With tears in my eyes, I was able to tell Sir that I had to walk away for a time. I needed a break to focus on what has happened in my vanilla world as well as with my vanilla. I was greatful that Sir was not angry but understanding that I may not be ready as I had thought to be able to handle balance this two worlds.
I still struggle with this today and have doubts that I will ever be at peace with it. I pray that once things calm down again, I can see Sir again. I truely miss His friendship and His amazing touch. When I am having a bad time at my crappy job, I often daydream of the times I spent with Sir and cant help but smile soflty.
Thank you so much Sir... I MISS YOU!!! |
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Oh why is my vanilla world always trying to control me to the point of insanity?
This past work week was the most emotionally draining that I think I have ever had. Between the store manager being more bitchy and backstabbing than usual to the evening when I had to help my shift manager detain a pair of drunks until the cops arrived - to the night I had an arsehole steal a carton of smokes right out of my friggin hands and then had the balls to try to hit me when I resisted. But the killer was that same night, the other store on the west side of town was robbed at gun point by the same SOB that stole from me!!! I was so greatful to know that no employee was hurt, yet still a part of me was glad it didnt happen to me- rude thinking huh?
Now I am so weary of every body that walks into my work, I feel like it was me that had a gun held to my head, not another employee.
Tonight I pray that I can see Sir. I so sadly have missed His company. I had to cancell last Monday night due to my daughter having a mental breakdown again and my father being over bearing again. My vanilla has been adding to the stress of a work week from hell too. I asked him to do the dishes or take out the trash, only to be suprised when I got home from work to see the request fell on deaf ears again. I just want to curl up in a corner and cry like a small child. I was so emotionally exhausted from work and home.. I slept from about 1pm yesterday until 2 am today. Then went back to sleep about 4ish only to wake up at 8am.
I am such a physical wreck, that I feel like a rag doll that has been abandoned for the newest toy.
I hope that tonight if Sir is still able to meet me, that He will make me feel alive again. Every time I see Sir, I can't help but blush at the images that flash before me. From the twizzlers to the spreader bar.. His imagination never fails to excite me more every time. I know without a doubt that Sir could never harm me, yet I know that subspace is very possible. * giggles*
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Not having my own laptop is very annoying. My good pal had my laptop for over a week in an attempt to repair it, but it still runs very slow and overheats too fast. I have been sharing net time with my nilla on his laptop. I really miss using the chat rooms here, honestly miss the conversations with my friends. His laptop is complete SHITE!!!
Tomorrow I plan to surf for online deals and financing for a brand new laptop. Wish me luck!!!
I will also be spending my time away from work this week looking at more rentals in hopes to MOVE out ASAP. I have to stay postive that I will find a new place to live in order to keep what sanity I have left from the drama of an overbearing father and hormone crazy teen age daughter. Some times I have to look at my daughter in complete awe that I was ever so foolish or rude as my daughter has been lately, regarding her "boyfriend" and best freinds that change more often than she changes her socks. HA HA |
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I have recently learnt a simple lesson in humility. Never assume anything in life is a "sure deal" unless its a written contract in blood.
My instincts were right and I was the fool to ignore them. The following Monday after I applied for a rental 'agreement I recieved a ring on my mobile - "sorry, but you have been declined, you must met the standards of earning 3 times the rent due to live here".
I tossed my mobile across the room in a childish fit of rage.
Just as I started to calm down enough to rest and sleep for the day before returning to work that night, there was a knock at my door. I grabbed my robe ( since I sleep in just my boxers and tank top) and fumbled in the bright morning light. It was the landlord with 2 very tattoo'd men behind her small frame. She informed me that they were plumbers sent here to fix my plumbing issues ( kitchen sink & tub didnt drain at all). With 3 more people in my very small flat, I knew I would not be able to sleep if at all now. I glared at my vanilla as he snored through 3 hours of drilling and scrapping noises. At nearly 1Pm they left and I tried to lay down again, my body and brain aching for sleep. My eyelids began to close as I settled into my bed only to be tossed awake as my vanilla awoke for the day. I felt like crying but was so exhausted, I could not muster the strength. I was able to manage about 5 hours sleep and fumble my way through work that night.
I am so looking forward to seeing Sir tonight. I had to cancell O/our last time due to family issues in my home. I really need the release that Sir provides me. I need to be able to step away from my vanilla responsibilities and breath new life into my very soul. I am hoping to speak with Sir prior to O/our meeting time to gain insight about tonights scene. After O/our last Monday night and the spreader bar... I can only imagine what He may add to the already amazing time together. I was so sad that I had to cancell last time, but knew He would understand the reason why. He is simply a wonderful man and I am lucky to be His GRAND TART!!! |
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I have just made a bold move. I am still terrified that it may have been in haste, but have to stay strong in my choice for a better life.
Yesterday, after a week long battle with dead ends on the phone, I borrowed my nilla's auto and drove around nearly 2 hours. I stopped into every apartment managers' office I could find within a 5 mile radius of my current home. With a look that combined a bit of desperation with a dash of hope, I signed my name to a credit check on a 2 bedroom apartment on the third floor. I was told by the manager that I would recieve a call back no later than Tuesday of next week regarding if my credit was good enough to rent the apartment.
If the credit check was approved, I would be able to move in by the 25th and only have to pay the week that is the last of this month in addition of the full rent due for August.
I am still terrified but am trying to stay positive. After all I did make a promise to my daughter that she would not be living in this tiny cramped 3 room apartment when she started high school.
I pray I dont have to break my promise to her or myself for that matter. |
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Oh I am such a happy TART still this morning!
Last night I was with my Sir and am in such bliss. It started as the others have with small talk in the auto as I proudly wore my blindfold and scene collar.
Once inside His home, I was told to take off my boots and bend over to please Him as He watched me in my short skirt. On the ride over I blushed as I told Him how my thigh highs kept slipping as I walked to meet Him, as well as the whistles I got as I stood on that corner. He smiled back and told me that I am being a most grand TART indeed.
Sir had told me the time prior that He wanted to use the homemade spreader bar He had made the next time He saw me. I giggled and moaned softly as I was told to lay on my back upon the bed. Without any hesitation, I placed my arms to meet the headboard and waited for Him to place my legs and ankles.
Sir had also told me on the ride over that He would have a very strong demenor this scene night and I was to not resist.I know that I would be safe at all times. I wondered in my minds eye what that all meant, yet at the same time, I know that Sir would never harm me.I closed my eyes and waited patiently as I felt the rope being tightened against my flesh, I felt my face begin to warm as I started to blush.
Sir began to tease me with kissing my flesh and THEN I heard the sound that my ears begged for.. THE FAVORITE TOY!! I could feel the wetness dripping from my honey pot at just the sound of that AMAZING TOY!!!
When I felt I could handle no more, Sir pushed me more and more. I screamed out and tried to turn my body away - I heard a POP sound and my left ankle was no longer bound to the spreader bar...Sir kept teasing my flesh, the toy now was upon my right nipple... I screamed again!!
My body felt numb and I swear that I saw a flash of colour come over my eyes. I looked at Sir with a bewild look in my eyes and softly spoke... "what the hell was that? I have NEVER felt anything like that in my whole life..." As Sir gently stroked my locks now damp from sweat, He spoke softly back to me... " ohh, my little one... you have just experienced what is known as subspace.. are you alright?" As my breathing began to slow down, I softly said.. " I think so, but am not sure just yet". After a few moments. W/we talked in detail about what had happened to me. Sir was pleased that He was able to get me to the subspace level, I was happy as well.
I was a greedy TART that night, teasing Sir back as W/we rested. It didnt take long before I was beggin for more and more. Even being so bold to rise up onto all fours and wiggle my bum at Him. My greedy ways pleased Sir and in reward I was pleased to near exhausting levels. As I layed there, flat on my stomach, panting for breath, Sir gently kissed the small of my back. I felt electricity fly up my spine. My hands shook as I began to redress and I leaned upon Sir to help me walk to His auto in the cool night that danced with dark shadows from the street lights.
As I walked back home, I felt giddy and calm at the same time. Such an odd combo I will admit, but blissful at the same time.
THANK YOU SIR!!
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Saw Transformers film yesterday.. KICKED ARSE!!! I adored the twins that combine to make on auto.. if you have not seen the film.. YOU NEED TO!!! *laughs*
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I came across this most interesting article the other day and wanted to pass it on. I am not normally a medical worded geek ( laughs) well, ok not so much anymore, yet this article from Scientific American kept me in a trance as I read it.
The Orgasmic Mind: The Neurological Roots of Sexual Pleasure - Martin Portner
"When it comes to orgasm, simple sensations as well as higher-level mental processes probably also play a role in both sexes. Although Kinsey characterized orgasm in purely physical terms, psychologist Barry R. Komisaruk of Rutgers University has defined the experience as more multifaceted. In their book The Science of Orgasm (Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006), Komisaruk, endocrinologist Carlos Beyer-Flores of the Tlaxcala Laboratory in Mexico and Rutgers sexologist Beverly Whipple describe orgasm as maximal excitation generated by a gradual summing of responses from the body’s sensory receptors, combined with complex cognitive and emotional forces. Similarly, psychologist Kent Berridge of the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor has described sexual pleasure as a kind of “gloss” that the brain’s emotional hub, the limbic system, applies over the primary sensations."
Continued scientific dissection of the experience of orgasm may lead to new pharmaceutical and psychological avenues for enhancing the experience. Yet overanalyzing this moment of intense pleasure might also put a damper on the fun. That is what the science tells us anyway."
ABOUT THE AUTHOR(S)
MARTIN PORTNER is a neurologist living in Brazil. He is author of Inteligencia Sexual (Sexual Intelligence, Editora Gente, 1999). He lectures and leads workshops on the brain and creativity.
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I am a twizzler TART at last!!! I am so happy now. Thank you to my Sir!!
The evening was so special to me and Sir said that I did well. He was pleased with how well I am learning to be a TART.
My bicepts were bound to my thighs and the rope felt amazing! He spoke of this type of bondage the time before, but I had no clue of the level of erotic levels I was to experience. With His favorite vibe in my honeypot, He then teased me arse with a new toy that made me squeal with such delights. I reached such levels of intense levels of orgasms that I had to beg Sir to stop. I didnt want to, but my body ached for a rest.My breathing was so laboured that Sir asked if I was alright.
The evening ended with Him removing my scene collar. I nearly had tears in my eyes knowing the reality that the night was over.
The thunderstorms that started as He drove me back home was poetic in nature. The electricity in the air matched the orgasms that I had just a short time earlier.
Thank you Sir for another mind altering evening. I look forward to the next Monday night we share.
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Oh I can barely contain my excitement this week. After another week from hell at work, I am READY to be ALIVE again!!
My child is away at summer camp for the week!!!
And tonight, I am meeting my Sir for several hours of pleasures that will be sure to leave my knees shaking for hours. Perhaps tonight I can be a true SLUT and be whipped with the twizzlers at LAST!!!
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I have a dear friend that sends me funny jokes via my mobile. Here is one he sent me today:
A boy drew a penis on the caulkboard. The teacher rubbed it off. Next day he drew an even bigger one and wrote in bold type,
" THE MORE YOU RUB IT, THE BIGGER IT GETS".
Lays are coming out with a new chip "semen flavor". They will be marketed as a diet item as 98% of women will spit them out!!!
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Oh why do I have such bad luck? I just spent nearly an hour writing a blog on another site, only to loose the page when I went to submit my entry.. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Was a good one too.. DAMN IT
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I have just returned from time with my Sir. *giggles*
The weather suggested rain tonight so I walked quickly to the "usual spot" and prayed the skies would not open up on me. I was dressed in my new bright red skirt, black thigh highs, black tank top under my favorite pub shirt " too many freaks not enough circuses" and boots.
I was early as usual when it started to rain. I quickly rain for cover from the large cold rain drops. I thought I saw Sir's car, so I ran back towards the sidewalk. The familar car pulled up near the curb then just as quickly drove away. I felt crushed as I watched Sir drive away, then turn the corner and drive around the corner . I smiled and waited patiently.
Sir smiled back when He saw how short my skirt was, thigh high tops peaking out from underneath.
W/we chatted for a few moments about me wearing a collar tonight. Sir said He wanted me to fully understand that it was for scene time only and that I was expected to wear when W/we had scene, but that I did not have to accept.
I listened carefully to His words and smiled softly. " Yes, Sir I understand and will be most proud to wear your collar." " That makes me very happy my little slut".
As Sir told me to sit up straight and hold my hair to the side, He wrapped the collar around my neck. " Is that too tight for you my little SLUT?" " No Sir, its fine".
I then reclined my seat back and placed my blindfold on and sighed a deep breath. " Are you alright my little SLUT?" " Yes, Sir I am fine, just relaxing and thinking about how it might feel when I am YOUR collared slut tonight."
W/we chatted casually as Sir drove in the downpour of the rain. The rain sounded like ice cubes striking a tin roof. Loud and distracting at times. I could hear the wheels slide a few times as Sir drove down the roadway. Yet I always feel safe inside Sir's auto regardless of the world outside.
When W/we arrived at His home, Sir playfully gripped my collar and kissed me deeply. I wanted to melt. I could feel the power of this "addition" to my attire for the evening. I smiled back at Sir and softly said , " I am ready to be your SLUT, for you to do as you please to my flesh and bring me such pleasures".
Within seconds, W/we were inside and Sir led me to the Master bedroom. "Stand before me SLUT and spread your legs WIDE"!
I giggled as I heard Sir reach for His favorite vibe. " Oh, you like this one my SLUT? In time you will cum when you hear this sound alone. I plan to turn it on and NOT touch your SLUT body with it so as I can watch your thighs shake and you beg for air. "
I felt so humbled at this statement, mostly because I truely believe Sir. He has always done as exactly as He says. " My words will always be supported with my actions. "
As I walked home in the cool night air, I gripped my new collar in my hand and smiled brightly. I can't wait for next time!!!
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I have just had the nastiest fight in years with my Pop. I cant think of what I want to do first, cry or scream.
I am an adult and confused as to how the hell this man( who is now 60) can still make me feel like a small child with no sense of my self.!!
I was sleeping when he stopped by to pick up my daughter for a shopping trip. I turned over in my bed and just kept my eyes closed.
After a time of listening to him complain to my daughter about the apartment not "being clean enough" and " has SHE been smoking inside again?", I had enough and got up. I knew better once my feet hit the floor, but I was pissed that I had been awaken several hours early. Working 3rd shift, its of vital importance that I sleep during the day.
I stormed out into the kitchen with my hands on hips glaring at them both. Demanding to know why I had been awaken so early.
Pop told me back in a tone that sent shivers of fear up my spine, " why do you live like this? why are the dishes not done? whats your excuse for smoking inside? you know its bad for her?"
I yelled back like a beaten animal in a cage " BACK off!!!! You were a DRUNK nearly me WHOLE life! I don't want to hear it!!!! Get out of my house !!!"
Then the fight got really childish with name calling.. all in front of my daughter.. I felt like an arse!!!!
He stormed out and I soon followed him into the parking lot. I wanted to punch him.. show him how angry I was but out of fear like when I was a child, I did nothing.
Now I can't help but wonder why I still allow this man to treat me like a child. It really pisses me off that he still has this "power" over me. Why do I feel such a need for approval from a man in this manner? Is this why I am here? Do I wish my Dom to treat me like a child as my father does? Why?????? I feel so foolish, childish, stupid, ashamed, and full of fear now. DAMN HIM!!!.. and DAMN ME
I love my father dearly and would never seriously wish him harm, yet I wish he could see that I am not a little girl anymore and respect me as an adult.. and as a MOTHER.
He often calls me by a nick that I used as a child, despite me asking him to call me by my birth name. I can't understand why he won't grant me this.
Now my whole day is ruined, will be in a sour mood for work tonight. DAMN IT
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5-19-09
Last night with Sir was AMAZING!!!
The previous Monday, Sir had called me a few hours before I was due at work. Asking me if I was free. Sadly I had to tell Sir that I had some drama with my daughter and had to stay home. I wanted to cry so badly. My time with Sir is such an honor and thrill at same time.
My last entry here, was about the stress at work and a few days after I posted it, Sir called me to ask if I was ok. To know that HE truely cares about me on many levels confirms the feelings that I am special and cared for. That simple call from Him, filled me with a boost of confidence that I needed badly. Thank you simply is not enough to express how much that call made me honestly feel better.
I was shopping with a close male friend yesterday when my mobile rang. I answered thinking nothing of the number. I stepped out of the store at the mall to hear better and my heart raced when He simple said my name. That voice nearly made me melt right there in the middle of the mall walk way. " I am calling to confirm that I will see you to night. 9pm as usual and at the same place my SLUT". " Oh YES SIR, I will be there, I look forward to the moment of seeing you again." "Good SLUT. I have a suprise for you that I think you will enjoy much".
I ended the call after saying good bye and went back into the store to find my friend. I must have been flushed or something, seeing how my friend asked me " so, whom was that?" " oh that was just one of mates checking in, was nothing really". I felt bad that I was unable to tell my vanilla friend more, but know in my heart that he simply would not understand.
I went back home to rest - had been out since nearly 8am with only a few hours of sleep. I tried to lay down on my bed, but my mind kept racing. What did Sir mean when He said He had a suprise? Would Sir like the outfit I had planned to wear tonight? Had it really been 2 weeks since I had seen Sir last? Should I really try to nap? I had time, but didn't want to sleep really. Was simply too excited since I heard Sir's voice ask me in such a calm manner " Whom's slut are you? Who will only touch you with such pleasure it cant be measured?"I quickly showered yet taking extra care and time to shave carefully as I know Sir prefers. Smooth skin was my goal for the thigh high nylons that Sir demands I wear. Lucky for me, the weather is starting to stay warmer at night. With a renewed confidence, I slipped into my short black shirt and thin nylons, adding a tight tank top and my black ankle boots. The light breeze felt wonderful as I walked to the usual spot, not caring how I looked to the vanilla world. I was dressed like this to please Sir and that's all that would matter. As usual I was walking too fast and would arrive about 15 minutes early. Time for one last smoke, vainly try to collect my thoughts and spritz on my perfume. My mouth was dry again and heart was racing as I waited. Many that drove by whistled at my attire and I blushed. Out of sheer nerves, I set the alarm clock on mobile for 9pm and then gripped it so tightly that my hand was numb.
Then it was an excitement that sent goose bumps over my flesh as I saw His car's headlights that showcased my body. Sir pulled up to the curb and I could see the smile upon His face, approval of how I was dressed. I slipped on my blindfold that I had picked up earlier in the day and reclined my seat back. I felt Sir's hand wander over my thighs then roughly push my thighs open. I giggled and softly said " the knickers are new Sir". " oh lets see then SLUT, mmm.. those hot pink ones please me, good job again my SLUT".
We chatted briefly about my hectic schedule at work and I told Sir that I would have internet at home in a few days at home. A gift from a friend as well as I had recently found out that I could get a 15% discount from my job.
My thighs were spread wider still and the radio was turned up. My heart raced with excitement. What was Sir to do with my flesh tonight? Within seconds I knew as I felt a vibe tease my clit. I tried to squirm but was told firmly, " this is part of the suprise I want for you tonight my SLUT, but you will be denied the orgasm until you have been TOLD that you may cum. Do you understand SLUT?" With a break in my labored breathing I humbly replied back " Yes Sir, I will do my best NOT to cum until I am told to. I pray I don't disappoint you" " You will do fine my SLUT, you learn quickly and never question my ways. You will be rewarded when the time is right".
It was true torture to not cum again and again. I was nearly panting as I tried to slow my breathing down to distract my flesh. Sir was talking, I could hear His voice, but have to be honest now, that I have no clear recall of what He even said with any clearity. My hands wandered to touch my breasts and was quickly pushed away and told to put my hands at my side . Sir knows my desires so well now. I hate it when my desires conflict with my flesh. I wanted to cum so hard right there in the car, to scream with such pleasure, but had been told NO so I had to obey.
When the car stopped I was merely a bowl of jello now, as if I had had an out of body experience or something. I was just laying there in the reclined seat, whole body trembling and feeling out of breath. Sir opened the door from the outside and leaned over me. I could smell His aftershave as He leaned down to kiss me gently. " You have done so well my SLUT. I am proud of you." I smiled back as He unlocked my seatbelt and teasingly touched my left breast. I shivered.
He took me by my hand to help me out of the car. I leaned upon Him to regain my sense of balance again. Within minutes W/we were inside and His hands traced over my back and gripped my arse firmly. He whispered into my ear, "who owns this arse? Who will make you cum so hard tonight that you may not be able to walk?" " You will Sir and I thank you for it".
He led me to the master bedroom and He sat on the bed with me standing before Him.The familar buzz of a wonderful toy filled me ears. "Spread you legs SLUT!". I did so without question and my whole body started to shake again. I feared I would not be allowed to cum yet again and was unsure I would be able to resist. As my legs began to shake,Sir kissed my thighs. That was to be the end, I was a gone now. " Slut you have done so well, I am pleased. You may cum as hard as you need to. I will hold you tightly." The floodgate was opened now, and I bite my lower lip hard to keep from screaming the into the night air. My whole body shook with such violence I felt I was going to pass out. Sir held me tightly as my flesh exploded and I dripped cum down my own thighs.It felt as if every inch of tension was now erased from my flesh, as if the over the top stress from work and home was forever gone. When I had regained some of my senses, I whispered to Sir," thank you so much, I had no idea of how much I really needed that release."
I was told to lay upon His bed on my back. He slowly and softly kissed my flesh, from my inner thigh up to my neck and ears. I tightly closed my eyes anxious for what was to be next. A wicked smile escaped from my lips as I felt the rope around my wrists, then my ankles, spreading my legs wide open. My knickers were damp as Sir teasingly twisted them against my clit. He tenderly ran His fingers threw my hair to then grip it roughly and force my head to the right. He kissed my neck and whispered to me " You are such a good little SLUT. I am very pleased and proud"!!
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Last night at work was beyond shite!! I have to work one 2nd shift during me "off" week from regular 3rd shift. Most weeks I don't mind it and tell meself, its a way to have extra hours. So shut up about it and just deal with it like a grown up right?
I work with a real ASRSEHOLE of a manager sometimes and last night was no exception.
"mark" often uses his height of nearly 6'5 to intimidate others by simply standing over co-workers.
He asked me as if I was a child " did you finish everything on your list? Oh and by the way that box that was left on the cart, ya know the one you were HOLDING? Well.. I took care of it for ya.. Just to let ya know.. I TOOK CARE OF IT and don't let it happen again.. ok hun"?
I wanted to scream back at him... " You arsehole!! I am older than you and am NO BLOODY CHILD"
But like the coward that I am at work, I just stood there, said nothing out of fear that I could loose me job. Its well known that he already thinks very little of me as a person and as a worker that NEVER CALLS in SICK and WORKS every BLOODY HOLIDAY when everyone else takes weeks off.
Makes me feel like a slave back 200 yrs ago----- GRRR!!!
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Have been hearing others talk about being on in the chat rooms, finally made a profile there myself today. Then was contacted my old Dom - I freaked for a moment, but it only took a second to remember why I am no longer with him. I have not thought about him since I started REAL training with my current Sir. Am trying not to dwell on this, but have to admit it took me back a step and I must stay focused on my training with Sir.I will tell Sir about him trying to contact me after all these months and listen carefully to Sir's advice as He is much MORE experienced than myself or my 1st Dom.
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Am learning to adore Mondays again.
Last night with Sir was beyond amazing! Started the night off as W/we do with me blindfolded in the car ( reclined back), but this time Sir added a new level - my hands were tied to the back of the head rest. A forced submission of sorts combined with public play.
I could not see the reactions to drivers as they passed the car on the interstate. Sir told me later that many cars were honking or waving with huge smiles as they saw Him place His hands up my blouse and up my skirt to pull my lacey knickers back to expose me.
There were so many new sensations last night, its not easy for me to still put them into words.
Sir told me last Friday that this scene would be a whole new level for me. Oh I had no idea of just what that was to mean until Sir kissed me with such intense desire and bound me to the bedroom door with arms raised high above my head.
Then the toys.. ohh, I just adore Sir's closet full of toys! Many times I was brought to the edge of body shaking orgasms then denied. Only to be brought back again to explode and be left nearly breathless.
To be bound to His bed either on me back or on all fours, to truely be His SLUT .. to serve His pleasures before my own. I know that my obedience will be rewarded ten fold.
Since I have started to scene with Sir, I have discovered that an orgasm can be mind blowing not just physical release. To be mentally aroused is amazing to me.
When Sir leans in close to me, whispers to me so softly to tell me " Who's slut do you belong to?" or as He touches my flesh He tells me " Who will only enjoy this flesh? For no one else shall make your body scream like I can, do you understand me SLUT?"
Oh damn !! Just thinking about last night or of how Sir talks to me during scene time, I just might "puddle" as the girls in the chat room say.
At times it's as if I write in my journal to never forget the moments that I am with Sir. A time capsule as many of my friends say.
Sir tells me that very soon He will showcase off His slut in front of others. That He is so proud of my progress in my training. I can only let my mind wander as to what all that could mean. I am so lucky to have Sir be my mentor. I love this new chapter in my life, makes me feel empowered in ways I could have never imagined before!
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Oh!! Its finally Monday and I will be able to see Sir tonight. I am so giddy, I can barely sit in my chair. My outfit for the night is ready for me to slip into, complete with thigh high nylons, new black lace bra and matching knickers that I hope Sir will adore seeing me dressed as His slut for the evening.
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May 1st 2009
I was sleeping so peacefully when I heard my cell ringing. It was about 230pm and I was amazed when I heard His voice that I woke up with such clearity. Sir simply asked 2 things.. (1) Are you awake? (2) Are you able to meet Me at 3pm at O/our usual spot? Without thinking I replied, Yes Sir, I can be ready at 3, what are you thinking? Never you mind MY SLUT, just have a few moments to be away from work today and wanted to discusss a few things with you in person. I am about ready to leave the office and will be there sharply at 3pm. Dont be late!
I jumped out of bed, raced to the bathroom to brush my teeth and slap on deodorant. In a flash I was dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans, lacing up my runners and grabbing house keys.With a small squirt of my favorite perfume I was out the door.
Felt like I was jogging rather than walking to the "usual" spot to meet Sir. I was finishing off my water bottle when I saw His car turn the corner and my heart raced. I have been feeling so guilty for messing up this past Monday when I was so out of it from work that I missed His repeated calls. I was very greatful that Sir was giving me a 2nd chance and was not without heart or forgiveness.
I jumped into the car before it was even near the curb and Sir told me later that I was in " nearly extreme slave mode" as I barely made eye contact as He drove. I meekly leaned towards Him and spoke so softly " I am so sorry for the mix up this past Monday. I hope you can understand and give me another chance?"
Oh little one, tis ok. I know you have been working extra hours with little or no sleep for several days. I am just disappointed that you were in such a daze. I had made plans that had to be cancelled.I have been kind but remember I can be cruel if called for.
Yes Sir I fully understand. I am hoping to never disappoint you like that again. I know that I must be at the ready to serve you, to be your SLUT as much as my vanilla world will allow. Hense why I treasure Mondays these days. * winks*
Good! Now, rememind me where again that park is?
Oh, turn left at the next stop sign then right near the top of the hill, just past the huge tree.
Next I knew W/we were parked in the park where W/we had first snogged so many weeks ago now. My mind raced to see the calander in memory. Unable to see the 1st time W/we had been here, I gave up thinking it was not important anyways.
W/we talked about how my training has been going and He asked me about other things I wanted to explore. I kept saying over and over again, " I am so sorry Sir. I think I am still asleep some and am unable to think of such things." I bowed my head very deeply and avoided eye contact.
with a gentle finger, Sir lifted my head and looked deeply into my blue eyes. His eyes had a sparkle to them, a hint of mischief as it were.
He just looked at me, I felt my cheeks turning bright red as I blushed like a school girl. The finger was gentle yet I knew He was my Sir, that He was in charge and I am to be His SLUT when ever it shall please Him. I felt my body begin to melt at His touch, having not realized JUST how much I had missed it so.
Then the KISS happened!!
So much like the 1st time Sir ever kissed me, yet was new at the same time. There is just something about having my face held in His hands, makes me such a nutter!!
After the kiss that made my toes curl inside my runners, He whispered so softly to me.. " Who's slut do you belong to?"
I was barely able to catch my breath to reply back.. I am your slut Sir.
Who owns your pussy, your arse , your breasts and your mouth?
You do Sir and I am honoured that you can be pleased with such a slut that has so much to learn.
That will do perfect my SLUT. Now I have to get back to the office and you need more sleep before working again tonight.
I closed my eyes and pinched my own arm. WAs I dreaming or was this beyond blissful heaven? As I walked back home in a daze totally unaware that I was even walking at all.. I felt as if I would be the best SLUT to Sir that I could be. My mind began to race to what I would wear when I saw Him on Monday.
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I have realized the biggest draw back to working 3rd shift!!
Yesterday I was happily sleeping when my mobile woke me at 3pm, in a daze I flipped the machine from hell open to softly mutter " 'ello?"
A soft voice simply stated " Morning my little one, did I wake you?"
I went to click the volume louder and accidently hit the little red button to end the call. I rolled over and fell back alseep telling myself that I was dreaming about Sir.
When my alarm went off at 530pm, my mobile was blinking with a voicemail.. BUGGER!! I was not dreaming after all and it was indeed Sir calling me. In vein I tried to call the number back but I was unable.
I took my shower and enjoyed the steaming hot water as if to wash away the aches that plague my flesh these days.
When I was done and relaxing being wrapped up in my softest towel, I saw my mobile was blinking again.. BUGGER!! Sir had called again and again I missed His call.
Desperately I tried to get online to send a note of apology to Him and was able to do just that only to loose my connect within minutes.
I feel like such a GIT now.. I have a deep feeling that Sir wanted to see me before I went to work at 9pm.
*sighs*
Now I have to wait another full week before O/our schedules will click again.. BUGGER!!
Not exactly the way I wanted to start His week off, now I pray I can contact Him either today or within the next few to be truely humble before Him.
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Last night I went to the pub with my friends and had a blast for a Thursday. It was the local lesbian pub and hotties all over the place. Oddly was the suggestion of a straight vanilla friend of mine. Lots of drunken touching and kissing. I don't recall for sure how I got home safely. All I found when I woke up this am was a receipt for cab stuck in bra.. oops.. wonder how that got there?
I am anxious for summer to arrive- lots more scantly clad lasses and topless blokes to drool over at the outdoor pubs.
Oh !!! The Anchor Inn is the most amazing pub in this backwards hillbilly town - right on the rivers edge - you can drive your boat right up to the banks and walk a few steps to the stage for the bands or the bar and grab a COLD pint!! As well as one of me Favorite cover bands will be playing.. Matt's Rocket Collection.. AC/DC covers with BAGPIPES - no joke !!
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A dear friend of mine sent me an amazing quote today that I must share - rang true for me - deep inside my soul if you will.
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people do that but great people make you feel that you too can be GREAT"!!
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Not having internet at home is making it more difficult to make journal entries as often as I used to be able to do. I wanted to post this Monday night, but library was closed when I was walking home at nearly midnight from scene with Sir. Will try my best to convey what happened as best as I can.
I was told to dress like the slut I am with Sir and meet at usual spot. I was so nervous being dressed in a short skirt that barely covered the bottom of my arse with thigh high nylons showing with every step I took in my favorite boots. The spot in which I meet Sir every time is short walk from my home, yet public enough to keep me safe. I was very self conscience as I waited for Sir to arrive at sharply at 9pm. I felt like a street walker as I paced along the sidewalk, smoking a fag in the cool night air. I caught the stares of vanillas as they walked by me and out of shear nerves I boldly winked or waved back. Oh that was just so wrong seeing how I was standing just a few blocks away from the local police station.
No sooner had I rubbed out the fag under the heel of me boot, I looked up and saw Sir's auto turn the corner. I smiled softly as I opened the door and carefully sat down. I didn't want to let the whole world see my pale thighs peeking out from under my skirt or the black knickers I was wearing for Sir.
The ride seemed shorter this time, not that any other time the journey took more than about 20 minutes or so. Traffic must have been very light this night or time was standing still. Can't be sure either way now. I was very relexed and excited at same time as I wore my blindfold like the good little one I am for Sir. I felt my body melt everytime Sir squeezed my thigh or playfully touched my nipple through my blouse.
As soon as W/we arrived to His place, He took me by my hand and kissed it very gently outside the door. " Remember little one, as soon as W/we step inside you are my SLUT and I may not be gentle tonight. Are you ok with that?" " Yes Sir I am ready to be the slut you desire and to do as I am told, for I know my obediance will be rewarded".
He smiled back at me and quickly unlocked the door. " Good answer my little SLUT".
I was barely inside the door when I was told forcefully to "bend over and show me your ARSE now". I did as was told and was thrilled when Sir pushed me skirt up and began to pull my knickers down to me knees. " Hold your ankles SLUT and spread your legs". I slowly bent forward more and more until I was able to hold my ankles and not feel like I was going to tip over.
I could hear Sir unbuckle His belt and unzip His slacks. I licked me lips and hoped I would be rewarded very soon for being a proper slut for Sir tonight.He began to run His hands over my arse and playfully began to nibble on my flesh. I was in heaven!!
Next I was told to turn around, face Sir forced to me knees and orally please Him. I was told to keep my eyes closed and NOT look at Sir. This stirred a hunger deep inside me that I am learning to enjoy more and more each time I am with Sir.The feeling of being told what to do in such a manner is fast becoming a huge turn on for me .
Just when I thought I was doing well at pleasing Sir orally, I was told to stand up and follow Sir to the bedroom. Within seconds my hands were bound together and was told to be on all 4's like the slut I am. I was told to spread my legs wide as I was going to be "fucked like the slut that I am" .
I could feel Sir's hands running all over my arse and lower back. I wanted to scream but knew I must not, for it will displease Sir in such a manner. In a flash I felt my bra unsnapped and my breasts released from their restraints of the lace. Then I flet a sharp twist of one nipple that made me moan loudly with pleasure. With a jolt I felt a warm sting sensation on the back of my right thigh. I jumped in shock and tried my very best not to move. Then another jolt of warmth stuck my left thigh. I had no even thought of being spanked on the back of the thigh just above where my arse meets my thigh. Oh what a delight!!!
Several more spanks with what I think was a paint stir stick - I can never be sure of what Sir uses. The "toy" box is a mystery to me, I never see it persay but can hear when He opens it for O/our time.
Sir told me on the ride over that He has been reading many of my entries and enjoys them emensly, but that I should leave some of O/our times together remain a mystery to my readers. So on that note I will end this with only one more bit of teaser... I really did adore this scene with Sir. The bites upon my arse and the spanking with "mystery item" wil be fondly remembered for many days to come for this tart or slut in training as Sir calls me.
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After a most wonderful sleep last night with the windows wide open to allow the cool air to blow over me in my bed, I feel refreshed and ready for the day.
Am anxious about the scene with Sir tonight. He has mentioned something in regards to arse play. The not knowing part of all of this is beyond words.
Knowing that I am going to see Sir again, makes me whole body tingle yet at the same time, I have the most wonderful feeling of calm wash over me.
The last time W/we spoke online He asked me point blank " Who's slut are you? " without even taking a moment to think, more like an automatic repsonse I told Him back " I am your slut Sir, to enjoy my flesh how ever you desire me".
When I typed that.. I nearly felt my heart leap out of my chest.
Ohh!!! I am so excited to feel His touch again, to hear His voice, to feel my body melt under His direction. I cant wait to write about my next adventure with Sir here as well.
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Not having internet at home is really fast becoming more than annoying. I have been working all week long ( not uncommon with new work hours) and feel like a zombie today. I fell asleep about 9am and woke up at noon. I thought to myself, hell.. I am awake now, so I might as well as pack up my pathetic laptop and walk my little arse down to the library. I am glad its only a few blocks away, but.. OY!!! what a bother to have to walk with laptop just use the net. *shakes head* Perhaps someday I will learn my lesson and pay for internet at home rather than keep "borrowing" my neighbors WIFI signals.. then again.. I have never paid for internet and cant see it happening anytime soon to be honest. *laughs*
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*giggles*
I am just so bad. Went out with several friends last night - its now 1030 am and I have yet to get to sleep. Oops!
Am borrowing my friend Ian's pc as he sleeps in the next room, others are passed out all over his house.. looks like a scene from the film Animal House.. lol
Had a grand time, drinking pint after pint and enjoying my favorite local bands at the pub.
Was just what I needed.. a REAL night out with friends.. a chance to melt into the darkness of the shadows and escape the world of responsiblities for a few hours.
I had a wonderful time and cant wait for the next chance to really unwind and enjoy my friends. To catch up on the gossip of the group.. made me feel empowered again. Recharged as you might say.
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First off let me aplogize in explaining why this entry is late, I have had internet issues at home and was unable to get online until today. This entry should have been made this past Monday. As well as this may appear long winded, but after this scene with Sir, my mind was in whirlwind and the words just flowed - no edits-just my thoughts.
He picked me up at O/our usual spot. He doesn't seem to mind that I ask that of Him. Just don't feel right with Him picking me up at my home. At times I think that if Sir knew exactly where my home was, it would take away from the mystery of O/our time together. Anxiously I watched for the now familar headlights of His car. As soon as He saw me, He pulled up to the curb and opened the door for me. I jumped in and greeted Him with a kiss upon His cheek and smiled brightly.
W/we chatted like casual friends, you know about the bad weather lately and jobs. Nothing really all that facinating at all. Felt like W/we both were killing time in a way. As the car traveled along the street, I kept chatting away and softly singing to radio that was playing.From the street lights I could see Him smiling and watching me with a spark in His eyes. When He approached an intersection, He leaned over to open the glove box and retrieved a blindfold, placing it in my hands. Smiling softly He simply said " um, think you forgot this little one."
I felt my cheeks get warm as I blushed like a school girl. " opps, sorry Sir, I did forget. I am sorry".
As I placed the blindfold on and reclined my seat back, He placed His hand on my left inner thigh. I giggled a bit and smiled as the goose bumps traveled up my leg. I squirmed a bit at His touch.He fingers traced the seams of my jeans and teasingly touched between my thighs. What Sir did not know at the moment was that I was already wearing the thigh highs under my jeans and all that I would have to do when W/we reached His apartment was to slip into my short skirt. I wanted the change to be fast as not to waste a single moment with Sir. He had told me prior to this night, that He wanted to be more aggressive with me. Wanted to change His normal calm demenor to one that was more assertive, more demanding. I had agreed to try this idea and now was growing excited that He would not be the gentle man I had been with weeks prior.
As I lay there, listening to Him tell me what was to be expected of me this evening, I could feel my body melt. His words and tone are very intoxicating to me. Not really sure if I can understand why just yet, but slowly, bit by bit, I am becoming more comfortable with Him. I have very few fears to speak of, when I know with confidence that Sir would never harm me or treat me badly emotionally. I know my place is to be His slut behind closed doors. To have my flesh be at the mercy of His touch, and in return for my obedience I shall be rewarded with both mental and physical pleasures that cant be measured.As I felt the car turn again and again, my heart began to race, I knew that I was almost to His apartment. Being blindfolded, one realizes the uses of all ones other senses. With each twist to the road, I knew it would not be long before I was to be His slut, to serve Him with pleasure.
Within moments,as if time was standing still, I felt the car stop and then a rush of the cold night air brush me body. With a kind hand, I was helped out of the car and told to " hold my arm little one, I shall guide you to safe, blissful pleasures".
As W/we entered the apartment, I was suprised to have the blindfold removed. Sir had not done this last time and I grew anxious. He took me by the hand and led to me to the Master bathroom to change, or so I was thinking. He took me to the master bedroom and was told to strip down to my under garmets before Him. With trembling hands, I began to remove my jeans and blouse. I looked up at Sir and softly asked to speak. He nodded yes. " Sir, I am sorry to have displeased you in anyway. But the weather is just too cold to wear the skirt I was told to wear. I have said garment in my bag that I brought with me, if I may?" " That's fine little slut of MINE, but I have changed my mind. And can see that you are already wearing the nylons, so there is NO need to put the skirt on tonight. NOW on your knees and place hands behind your back with head bowed deeply"!
My eyes must have been the size of flying saucers when I looked up at Sir again, He forcefully pushed me down to the floor. I knelt before Him in shock and raw nerves. I didn't realized this was what He had meant. I did as I was told and felt goose bumps all over. I had never been spoken to like this and was unsure of what to do next. A moment of fight or flight impulse rushed over me.
My hands were tightly clasped behind my back when I felt the rough jagged fibers of a rope being placed over my wrists and then was excited as the rope was tightened. I could feel the rough carpet under my knees through my nylons. He leaned down and whispered into my ear, "whom is your Sir little slut?" Before my lips could open to reply back, my hair was pulled back harshly and was asked the question again. With trembling lips, I whispered back " I am your slut Sir. I am here to please you if you deem me worthy".
I began to breath heavy with excitement. I didn't know what was to happen next and was thrilled! Tonight would be when I would submit to Him. My heart was racing as I closed my eyes.This would be a true test of my whole being, to submit to another, to give up control and be vulnerable. With His hands my mouth was forced open wide and His cock was placed inside my mouth. " Please my flesh, you WILL be my slut NOW". A hunger began to build up deep inside me, the desire to please my Sir was overwhelming. As I began to give my Sir oral pleasure, He gripped my hair tightly, pulling me closer towards Him. He reached down and playfully pulled upon my nipples. I wanted to moan with such pleasure, but knew it was not the right time just yet. Just as quickly as I had be forced to oral Him, He withdrew and told me to stand up again. With a gentle touch that I knew, I was helped back up to my feet. Legs trembling I leaned against Him slightly.A gentle touch allowed my wrists to loosened a bit, but not completely. He kissed the side of my neck and I moaned loudly with pleasure. " Keep your eyes closed little one and follow my lead".
He guided me to the bed and told me to lay upon my back with arms raised over my head. I then felt His hands explore my breasts, stomach and thighs. I began to arch my back with antispation of what would happen next.
The familar sound of a soft buzzing sound filled my ears. A smile began to form in my lips, but was short lived as His hand forced my mouth closed. " No, little one. It is NOT time for your pleasure yet". My heart sank a bit yet I told myself to have patience. He often tells me that when I obey I will be rewarded. In one swift motion I felt me wrists being tied to the bed frame, tightly, yet I could still move some.
My panties were pulled back just enough to allow access to my honey pot. He softly chuckled and commented to me in a whisper, " those are very cute little one, I adore the little white hearts upon the red fabric. You will wear these again for me ."
" Yes Sir, I am your slut. I will do as I am told to please you". " Good answer my little slut. You are a quick one to learn so well. This pleases me very much".
Many times I was brought to the point of orgasm, but denied the act it self. I felt confused and slightly hurt that I was not allowed to enjoy the pleasure. My body craved that release so badly, yet my mind was already there. I could feel the waves fall upon my flesh as my mind accepted the pleasure. It reminded me of an ocean beach, with the waves crashing upon the rocks. Each wave had more power than one before, building up intensity each time.
When I felt I could take no more, I felt my body betray my mind. In a very raspy voice I began to beg for release, " oh please Sir, may I cum now? my body is aching." " Not yet little one, you MUST learn to trust me. I have much knowledge to share with you. You must learn self control and you WILL with me as your mentor." With that I was teased more with the toys and His touch. My legs began to tremble and my breath became very shallow, nearly a panting really. I desperately tried to take in a deep breath, my lungs ached for rich oxygen. In a flash I could feel His hands touching my entire body. This suprise of gentleness was just enough to push me beyond the limits of self control. I began to moan louder and was reminded firmly to lean my face into the pillow and " You may cum now my little slut, You have earned the pleasure now".
I let a scream of pleasure escape my lips and cried out in amazement as my body twitched about like a fish out of water.
I felt a rush of warmth and wetness escape my honey pot. Like a waterfall. Oh what a truely amazing feeling! I have never felt this way before about my body. As I began to come down from the waves of orgasm, Sir was right there, gently touching, caressing me, stroking my hair and softly speaking in the manner that was His normal demenor. "You have done wonderfully tonight. I am very proud of you little one. Did you enjoy it as well as I did? Please share your thoughts with me now if you can * soft chuckle* I know its not always easy for you to be articulate at times." With a sarcastic smirk I replied back, looking deep into His deep eyes, " Oh yes I did very much so. I have never been denied to cum when my body was ready. I am eager to try that again very soon, if not too bold to say Sir?" " That is fine with me little one. W/we shall talk more in detail at another time. Its now time for you to be returned home and rest. Please think of more ideas in which you want to explore next time. Remember that without your thoughts, I can not mentor you. I can not guide you on this journey unless I am made aware of what you seek."
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Oh another work week is nearly done at last. These 7 nights on in row is starting to affect me- feel that all I do now is sleep, work, sleep again. I feel as if I have no social or home life these days. The only highlight is knowing that I will able to see my Sir again this upcoming Monday night. Oh that excites me in ways that I am still learning about. To be in His presence makes me all giddy and nervous at the same time. To be held in His strong arms and touched, makes me knees weak at times. I am unsure if W/we will scene again or not, but today, am thinking I dont really care. When I am touched by Him, I feel complete again, like I am more than just a sexual being. I feel deeply honored to be in His presence - perhaps that is just the subbie in me talking, perhaps not.
This is a wonderful and complicated journey filled with new emotions. I can only hope that I am strong enough under His control and guidance to truely be the best submissive I can absolutley be. I have always had a desire to serve another, not just in a sexual way, but rather to know my place in this world and be rewarded for such actions. Does that make any sense I often wonder - smegging left brain at work again -* sighs lightly*
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I sent Sir a copy of my previous entry and He replied back that He was very pleased. That I had captured the evenings mood very well indeed. Just have to be patient and wait for vanilla work schedules to click again before I can see Him again. Oh I am so giddy, I feel like a teen ager again.
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*lightly sighs with content*
I have recently returned from my first scene with a Sir. I have so many emotions filling my body that it is not easy to put in words. I requested permission to share a few of the evenings highlights here. Hope my reader will enjoy as much as I did. I spent over an hr just primping, ya know the girl things.. taking my time to shave and fix hair just right.
I walked to O/our usual meeting place and paced impatiently. As I watched for the familiar head lights to appear my heart started to race. My mouth felt dry, so I popped in a piece of gum to ease my nerves.But quickly spit it out.
I looked away from the street for just a moment then heard a honk of a car. I looked back and saw He was parked and smiling at me through the window.
I jumped inside and was greeted with an amazing passionate kiss that nearly made my toes curl inside my boots.
"Buckle up little one and put this on". I was handed a silk tie and placed over my eyes. He then tied it to make a blindfold and reclined my seat back so that I was to be lying down.
" I hope you are ready to start this journey with me little one" " Yes I am Sir"
W/we barely chatted on the ride back to His apartment - seemed like hours but in essence I know it was only about 20 minutes or so.
He opened the door and led me by my hands to the door.
Next I knew.. He had led to me to the master bathroom and was told " now that its much warmer, you dress properly for me little one". He untied the silk tie and closed the door. I quickly changed into the short skirt I had brought and slipped into the thigh high nylons provided, making sure I had the lines on straight in the back.
With a knock upon the door, I told Him I was ready. I closed my eyes and waited.
He stepped behind me, paused for a moment as if to admire my clothing choice and then placed the blindfold back on me.
I was pushed with a gentle yet firm manner(against the cold wall), arms raised above my head as I felt His hands explore my flesh.
I gasped for air as His hand slipped under my skirt while the other pulled my head back by my hair as He kissed up and down my neck.
I moaned loudly as His hands explored my body and playfully pinched a nipple. I wanted to put my hands upon His flesh as well, but with every attempt my arms were raised higher above my head.
I would share more fine details, but do not wish to upset Sir.
I will end this entry with the following:
As He gently kissed my neck and stroked my hair, He said again and again " I am proud to have you as my slut and your happiness is my goal on this journey. I am truely honored to be in the presence of such a goddess of a woman. I hope W/we can grow and learn from each other everytime W/we can be together in the times ahead"
*sighs* I am so blessed!
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I was feeling restless today and decided to do some much deserved pampering aka shopping at the local mall. After several hours of searching over stacks of clothing, I made the choice to get a few items . HaHa!
I walked out with the following items:
3pairs of naughty lace knickers, 2 short skirts, thigh highs,purple&black teddy and a few slacks for work. I had the idea to get a new outfit for the supper date on Thursday and some how ended up with nothing for it afterall.. oops!
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Woo Hoo!! I have a date set for Thursday with the local D I have been chatting with. Will post more details when they happen.
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Yeah!! My 6 straight shifts on over nights are done and I have survived. I have no idea what to do on my 3 days off. *laughs*
Perhaps on Tuesday I will treat myself to a trip to local salon and get pampered for the success of not going mental working this new schedule.. I am just so glad its all over and I have a few days of peace ahead of me.
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I was so naughty last night. After my usual Monday night at bowling league, I went home. Got home early( had no team to play against) and turned my laptop on, not sure why at the time. I was pleasantly suprised to see my Sir was online and had left me an IM message. W/we chatted a few minutes and agreed to meet before I was due at work at 930pm. I met him a few blocks from my home and anxiously waited. The moment I saw His car pull around the corner, I could feel my heart racing. He pulled up to the corner and opened the door. I jumped in with a smile on my face a mile wide. He kissed me gently on my forehead and pulled me close to Him. W/we held hands as He drove to my work, then parked. Started to chat about my weekend, then the kissing began. At first it was gentle flirtly kisses, then the kisses started to build with such intensity, I felt as if I could not breathe. He gently rubbed my back and whispered into my ear " I have missed you so much little one. Am happy that W/we were able to meet tonight, albeit only to steal a few moments. I hope you have a good night at work, for I shall be thinking of holding you in my arms as I sleep tonight". WOW !!!
As I walked into work with such a wicked grin, I felt on top of the world. The night went quickly for me. I am so happy that I can hardly stand it. I am blessed as well.
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I was a good little one and went to bed early last night. I slept most of the day away in an attempt to get my body used to new work hours. Working 9pm-8am won't be easy for a time, but I am very excited at the new adventure!! As well as getting to know a new"special Sir" in the weeks to follow. Oh!! I feel like a teenager yet again. *blushes* And the slightly faded hickie on my neck is proof of that. I would have never guessed in a million years that I would have a hickie at the age of 36 * giggles*
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Got home from bowling tournament about an hour ago now. Team did quite well,many bowling way over averages and I did not too bad at all.. My best score on team event was 229. Double event I did not do as well , only getting a 170, but in singles.. I kicked ass with a 200 game. Not too shabby for a player that has only been in the league a few years now and went into the event with a 186 average. Am so glad to be back home again. The 4 plus hour drive was rough on everyone crammed into a minivan. Next year we may compete again and travel to FortDodge - nearly on other side of the state !!!
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Finally at bowling tourney with team mates after what seemed like forever, listening to the most awful country music as the others whined. Oh if only I could just have one drink with the girls, but its Lent and I have given it up. Oh well. As my team mates are off getting drunk as tarts, I will be safe and comfy in MY full sized bed.. *giggles* chatting with friends, oh wait a minute, that makes me look like the fool eh? Oh well, dont really care tonight. Was such a long drive to get to Cedar Rapids anyways, I just want to relax for a few hours all by my lonesome. Plus I always have thoughts of my new Sir so fresh in my head to keep me very happy.
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Its now 1am and have just returned from a nightly session of parking like a pair of teen-agers at the local park. I snuck out about 1130pm to meet Sir. We sat in His very sexy BMW at the park and cuddled only at first. Then He held my face in my hands and kissed me so deeply with such passion I started to tremble. His hands explored my body as I moaned.
When I returned home, I felt an odd senstation on my neck. In a moment of panic I raced to the bathroom mirror!! My jaw dropped! I am now the proud(?) owner of several distinct BITE marks and a rather obvious red mark on the right side of my neck. CRAP! How am I going to HIDE this now??
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*BLUSHES DEEPLY*
I am so smitten now!! He is amazing and so gentle at the same time.
Coffee was .. um.. cant find the right words to express clearly. After coffee W/we sat at the local park and chatted for more than an hour. He held my hand in His. And then there was the KISS!! OH MY !!
He grabbed me by the back of my hair, leaned me back, ran His tongue up my neck and then kissed me with such passion that I could feel my toes actually curl within my shoes!
I can't wait to see Him again very soon!!
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Ok, nerves have now been replaced with such excitement!!!
In just 2 hrs from now, I will be meeting Him today!!! WOW!!
Its such a rush of emotions for me. I pray I don't mess it up and chat too much.
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I am so nervous and excited all at the same time. I have been chatting with a local Dom and now its set to possibly meet for coffee tomorrow afternoon. I am unable to think of anything else. I tried to sleep last night, but to no avail. I tossed and turned all night, finally giving up about 7am. Too many thoughts of what ifs - gawds I so hate that.
Will post another entry to tell all about the coffee "date" after it happens.
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Had another decent day at work and am glad to be home.
During my lunch break, was watching the TV in break room and caught the end of some film. Just as it ended, the narrator said the most interesting words:
" No one controls your honor, only you can".
This stuck a cord with my thoughts. I scrambled for a piece of paper to record it. I rarely do such a thing, but felt it was very fitting with my mood lately.
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Had the most amazing offer at work today. Was offered to work graveyard shift starting the 16th with 50 cent pay increase and guarenteed 40 hr weeks!!
WOO HOO !! Am so excited!!
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* sighs softly*
Another night at work as usual, boring and uneventful. From the windows, I could watch the snow falling down. Heavy at times, lightly blowing other times. At first I was not so excited to think about how I was going to have to walk home in the snow. Tried to put it out of mine and work like the drone that I feel I am becoming. Answer the phone, deal with customer complaints, look up scripts on computer to check for customers prior medications. Just another evening at work, I kept telling myself over and again, like a chant.
When it was at least time to leave, I grabbed my coat and backpack. Unzipped the bag and got my trusty winter boots out, and began to lace them up. With a heavy sigh, I walked out the door to a sea of snowflakes falling from the dark night sky. The snap of the cold air quickly caught my attention and I was able to refocus on the task that lay before me.
Usually on a Friday night, the streets are filled with people either going to the local pubs or returning ( my shift ends at 1030pm). But tonight something was off.
I was truly alone with my thoughts as I walked on the sidewalk.
Had not realized that I have been selfish lately. So absorbed in my own little world that I have forgotten the peaceful feeling of walking in freshly fallen snow. The sound of my boots crushing the delicate snow that lay before me. I took the time to listen to all that was around me. To listen to my thoughts. I stopped a few times, just to lean back and feel the cold flakes hit my face. Reminded me of a book I used to read as a little girl, about a blind girl that was blessed by an angel and given sight back. " I was touched my an angels hand and felt the warmth touch my heart".
I can honestly say that I have found new inspiration after tonight's walk home. I have new motivation for searching my soul deeply to find what it is that I truly seek and hope for happiness with myself before others. To find a Master now would only enhance my life.
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Am feeling better today. Spent nearly the entire day cleaning and just taking time to think. Was such a wonderfully nice day out.. I opened all the windows to air out the bad that has happened to me recently. Thank you to all my friends here for the warm welcome after what happened to me.
Plan to keep working on my profile, to find what I am really looking for in my life. Just have to have faith that another chance will come along.
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Update:
Seems I have jumped the gun some. Awoke this am to find the following message and now am thinking.. what have I done?
" You jumped to conclusions on what was going to happen. I wish you best of luck in your search."
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Ok.. not the best 1st entry to make, but I feel I need a moment to vent.
I am new to the D/s lifestyle despite being a seasoned swinger of more than 10 years now.
Have only been with my Sir a few months now and have enjoyed learning so much. W/we have enjoyed scene many times.
Tonight, I got home from long day at work to find an message for me to chat up another lass for possible 3 some tomorrow am. I was a bit thrown by this statement. W/we have not talked about having 3some, but I do have listed on profile that W/we are seeking a poly household.
AM so digusted at the thought of being forced to have sex with another lass that I have never chatted with let alone met. Giving me only one nights notice doesnt seem fair. I am making edits on my profile to SUIT me desires rather than HIS.
Until further notice.. I am NOT COLLARED and have no SIR in my life!!
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| Age: 27 |
| Forth worth,
Texas |
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