Lately it has become a recurring theme. People running around proclaiming themselves to be Masters. Perhaps i am just strange (and i know the odds are high of that being the case!) but i cannot, for the life of me, figure out how some of these folks can look themselves in the mirror after claiming to be a Master. How can they hold their heads high wearing that title when they cannot even master themselves, and their own emotions, or how they can claim to be a guide and mentor, when they come unhinged if someone disagrees with, or questions, what they teach?

To me, a Master has made a million mistakes, learned from them, gained patience and understanding from them, and is in a position mentally, emotionally, physically, to help someone else better themselves, take steps in the right direction, and grab the hand of their student/slave to help them back to their feet after they stumble. Just by being who and what they are, they inspire those around them to want to be better.

i'm not saying to be a Master one has to be perfect. Not by any means! How does one continue to grow if one never makes mistakes, never fails, never tries anything new? But the manner with which one handles their mistakes and shortcomings, that is what separates the Masters from the novice.

Am i the only one who thinks these crazy thoughts?

For the first time ever, i saw someone yesterday use the word "seemly" in a sentence, as in the opposite of unseemly. That only took 36 years.

Today I am whelmed because my kids are corrigible, i'm looking sheveled, my dogs are behaving seemly, and I general I'm pretty gruntled.

(once again, inspired by my favorite author)

Words with multiple meanings kind of mess me up sometimes. Like "scramble." Either a verb or a noun, associated with egg dishes or moving very quickly to avoid your doom. i can't really separate them. i always think about eggs when someone's in trouble. Makes serious situations like "scrambling for your life" vaguely tasty.

LOL Happy Friday!

i admit it.  i'm not like them.  i'm not even close.  i may occasionally dress myself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes... But it seems the more i try to fit in, the more i feel like an outsider,  as i sit watching 'normal people' go about their automatic existences.

For every time i say club passwords like "have a nice day" and "weather's awful today, isn't it?" i yearn inside to say forbidden things like "Tell me something that makes you cry" or "What do you think Deja Vu is for?"....

i may be a complicated girl, but i have simple needs.  i need my books and time to read. i need a few good friends.  i need someone- not to take care of me, but to care for me. If i have those things, i will always be alright.

If she flinches when you go to put your arm around her... someone else's hand wasn't so sweet. If she questions you, someone else lied to her. If she hesitates to tell you things, someone else betrayed her trust.  Behind every cranky complicated girl or girl who is afraid to love, is a girl who is tired of being broken.

It was brought to my attention, that i do actually behave more often than i thought...

Be Evil Have A Vindictive Element.... BEHAVE...  see?  Now it all makes sense!!!

i'm quirky, silly, blunt, and broken. My days are sometimes too dark, and my nights are sometimes too long. i often trip over my own insecurities. i require attention, long for passion, and wish to be desired. i use music to speak when words fail me, even though words are as important to me as the air i breathe. i love hard, and with all that i have... and even with all of my faults, i am worth loving.

~Danu Grayson

i want somebody i can compliment, not somebody i have to complete. i want them to be whole on their own, and being with me just causes whatever we each have already to overflow.  i don't want them to need me, but i do want them to have an ever-increasing desire for me.  i want somebody to care for me in a way that makes me want to be better because of them, but also for us.  i want somebody that understands a 2 way street, give and take, but someone who also doesn't keep score, because what each gives is genuine.  That is what i seek.  That kind of friendship, relationship, whatever label you want to put on it.. THAT is something i will never let go of.

A friendship, or any kind of relationship means (to me anyway) an equality of sharing, of vulnerability, of caring.  If one party does all the caring, all the laying themselves bare, while the other party holds themselves reserved, then there really isn't friendship, trust, or a relationship of any kind. 

So, if you decide to try and get to know me, to befriend me, be prepared to be willing to offer what it is that you seek from the friendship.

In other words, if you want to be my friend, if you want me to care about you, try being a friend, and care about me, not just your own needs.  If you can't do that, please remove yourself from my life, or never bother to enter it to begin with.  i've already spent too much of my time caring about people, helping people, who are never going to return that caring, and who disappear when things go wrong, but don't hesitate to contact me when they need something from me.  So the position of selfish "friend" has already been filled. there are no vacancies for more of that in my life.  Thanks.

Its a miracle!  There's actually a version of "The Little Drummer Boy" i actually LIKE!  LOL  Actually to all of Y/you that wrote me to defend the song, i have no issues with it and my previous entry was stolen from my favorite author, whose sense of humor tickles me. 

This group of singers is nothing short of amazing.  i think i could listen to almost any song, if they sang it. LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ_MGWio-vc

Welcome to the first day of nonstop Christmas marketing! I don't know about you, but I spend these two months hiding from the worst holiday song ever, "The Little Drummer Boy." If I must enter a place of business playing Christmas music, I'm in and out as fast as possible before I get my ass pa-rum-pum-pum-pummed.

Sorry if that's your favorite. I know somebody has to like it and that's cool if you do. The repetition just drives me batshit—it's almost, but not quite, as bad as "It's a Small World After All." Like, if you're going to play the drum, little boy, at least mix it up a bit. Listen to "Tom Sawyer" by Rush for some inspiration, or at least beat box through some of that song, cheer the hell up and rock out because you have a fucking DRUM, man, don't kill us all with your overdose of morose, and hoo boy I think I'd better fix myself a calming cup of tea at this point. Sorry. IT'S ALL THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY'S FAULT.

Shamelessly stolen from my favorite author, Kevin Hearne.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw2Ic_2XdVQ

Under Your spell again

i can't say no to You

Crave my heart and its bleeding in Your hand

i can't say no to You

Shouldn't let You torture me so sweetly

Now i can't let go of this dream

i can't breathe but i feel

Good enough

i feel good enough

For You

Drink up sweet decadence 

i can't say no to You

i've completely lost myself and i don't mind

i can't say no to You

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely

now i can't let go of this dream

can't believe that i feel

Good enough

i feel good enough

Its been such a long time coming, but i feel good

And i'm still waiting for the rain to fall

Pouring life down on me

'Cause i can't hold on to anything that's

Good enough

am i good enough?

For You to love me too?

So take care what You ask of me

'cause i can't say no 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YxaaGgTQYM

How can you see into my eyes 
like open doors

Leading you down into my core
where i've become so numb without a soul
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling

only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought,
without a voice,
without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside
(Bring me to life) 

The world is full of horrible things that will eventually get you and everything you care about.

LAUGHTER is a universal way to lift your head up and say: "Not today, you bastards."

~Anthony Jeselnik

Believe NOTHING, no matter where you read it or who has said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

i saw you standing in the middle of the thunder and lightning.

i know you feel like you just can't win but you're trying.

Its hard to keep on keepin on when you're being pushed around.

Don't even know which way is up, you just keep spinning down, round down.

Every storm runs, runs out of rain

Just like every dark night turns into day

Every heartache will fade away

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain.

So hold your head up and tell yourself there's something more and walk out that door.

Go find a new rose and don't be afraid of the thorns, because we all have thorns.

Just put your feet up to the edge, put your face in the wind.

And when you fall back down, keep on remembering..

Every storm runs, runs out of rain

Just like every dark night turns into day

Every heartache will fade away

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain.

Its gonna run out of pain

Its gonna run out of sting

Its gonna leave you alone

Its gonna set you free... set you free.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q3LEadIk3w

Someday i will remember to keep my mouth shut, because any and all attempts at explaining myself just further the misunderstanding instead.  Also, i will learn to remember to expect anything from anyone.  After all, the devil was once an angel...

How is it that silence can cut deeper than the sharpest of tongues, or knives?

Karma fruit: Any juicy fruit that, when bitten or impaled on a fork, squirts in your eye or elsewhere on your person, staining you not only with acidic effluvia but with embarrassment for crimes against the universe. i was attacked by two vicious karma fruits last night. i am not sure what I did to deserve it, but i am sorry, universe. i am sorry.

One should always try to associate themselves with people that inspire them, people who challenge them to rise higher, people who make them better.  One should not waste their  valuable  time with people that are not adding to their growth.  One's destiny is far too important.

Expecting is my favorite crime, and disappointment is always my punishment...

So.. the rising new trend is "anal bleaching"....  Normally i'd be against such an activity, but then i got to thinking.. some assholes really do need to lighten up....

Everything in life has the potential to be funny.

Stop hating smartasses!

Smartasses seize the moment while you are too busy being uptight!

Lighten up!

*born with a smirk, smartass for life*

Most of the time, it is wisest to keep silent, rather than tell others what you feel and think.

I've learned it hurts badly when you come to know, they can hear you, but cannot understand.

May the Gods grant me a vacation to make bearable the things I cannot change, a friend to make it amusing, and the wisdom to never get my knickers in a knot because it solves nothing and makes me walk funny.

One must realize that fear is not real.

It is a product of thoughts you create.

Do not misunderstand me.

Danger is very real.

However, FEAR.. is a choice.

i have decided on a new business venture...

i'm going to make the counterpart to hooters.

It will follow the proven business model of the hooters franchise with one small difference:

All the servers will be men wearing skin tight boxers.

i shall call it "Pythons"

Everywhere i look, i see these "keep calm and....." posts and quips...  screw that.

How about this instead?

"Don't keep calm.

Rip my clothes off

Spin me around

Grab my hair

and fuck me like you hate me."

There.. i bet calmness happens quicker after doing THAT than it would after someone telling you to "keep calm." 

Just a thought....

What are the two most important holes in the female body?

No perverts, Its her nostrils...

How else could she breathe while giving you a blowjob?

i am human. 

i make mistakes.

 i fall. 

i cry. 

Sometimes, i talk without thinking first. 

Sometimes, i judge others. 

Sometimes, i do things i regret. 

i'm human. 

i laugh, i love, i learn, i live, and i am so very grateful.

Reality of Fear:

You're not scared of the dark,

You're scared of what's in it

You're not afraid of heights,

You're afraid of falling

You're not afraid of the people around you,

You're afraid of rejection

You're not afraid of love,

You're afraid of not being loved back

You're  not afraid to let go,

You're afraid to accept the reality that they're gone

You're not afraid to try again,

You're just afraid you might get hurt for the same reasons.

i am a freak, because i define freak as a person who is envied because they are a fabulously unique individual that can kick ass and has no need or desire to follow the flock..

"Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell.  Spirituality is for people who have already been there."  ~Vine Deloria, Sioux

Crazy does not begin to describe me.  i'm more like a totally insane whacko, with the potential to become an insane lunatic!  Be afraid.. be very afraid... *smiles*

My dearest fellow CM folk:

You may have noticed i have an odd sense of humor.  Many appreciate it, but for those who don't and (can leave) might get offended by some of the stuff i post (cry babies), i am writing this.  i just wanted to take this time to say if there is anything on my profile (my business) that offends you (get over it) please bring it to my attention (please don't) and i will delete it (don't hold your breath) immediately (not).  The last thing i want to do is to (express myself) cause harm to anyone (attention whores) by what i say (because your opinion is the only one that matters).  Have a bright and blessed (blow it out your ass) day!

On a rock kick at the moment.. been humming this portion of Redlight King's "bullet in my hand" for most of the last 2 days.. i wonder what i'm trying to tell myself...  LOL

i got a cold stare, the wound's still there, but there aint much left to bleed,

a short fuse that i still use, i'm my own worst enemy.

Stare at the faces i once knew lined up just to bury me.

There's a long black car that's waitin to leave, but right now...

There's someone looking out for me...

i came out of the darkness with a bullet in my hand

i've got one more shot at living, i'm lucky that i can.

'cuz i got a little roughed up, yeah i really got fucked up

i came out of the darkness, with a bullet in my hand..

i Love the people who are in my life and make it AMAZING... and i thank the ones who left my life and made it even more fantastic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn6F2TP-JiM

Listened to this song several times last night.. then i let my stress go and slept fairly good.. and i wake to storm clouds and the smell of much needed rain in the air... LOL a healing song, and a rain dance in one!  How awesome is that?

Some days i think i need to change my home state to "Of confusion".  As of late, i feel i have taken up residency there. 

If people ever call You a crazy freak, thank them.  Nothing throws people off more than a proud, polite, crazy freak.  *smiles*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zfzT7QfLZc

There.. i feel all better.. i dare You to watch this clip with a straight face.  Uh huh.. You couldn't do it either could You?  "A vegetarian's nightmare"  LMAO

i have no words to describe this day.  i do... however... have a ton of obscene gestures... 

Just a heads up.. if You are one of the ones that believes i will be impressed or attracted to You because You have a different ethic or racial background than i do, be warned.  i am NOT impressed by someone's skin color or cock size or exotic world travels.  i am impressed by someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation and treat me as a human being worth getting to know as a friend.  THAT is how You impress me.  Message me boasting about your skin color, and chances are, the message will go straight to the trashcan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjSG6z_13-Q&ob=av2e

This is a song i relate to rather well.. i'm usually more of a country fan, but.. the lyrics to this song resonated with me.

Yes, i am opinionated, strong willed, and capable.  If that bothers you.. don't contact me.  If you want me to agree with everything you say, pass on by.. i know what i like and don't what i believe and don't.  If you insist on trying to shove your viewpoint down my throat, don't be shocked when i block you.. and please, don't prove how weak you are by sending your little female klingons to fill my email box with pathetic ranting and raving about how DARE i block the poor little wanna be Dom.. oh.. wait.. go right on ahead.. such behavior makes me laugh.

Snagged this off of a profile I viewed.  felt it appropriate for me.  I hate 20 questions.  Too easy for people to lie, even without meaning to, when given a direct question.  I prefer to observe... pay attention to what is said, and what isn't said.  I tend to learn far more that way,

“If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been due more to patient attention, than to any other talent.”

- Sir Isaac Newton

If you don't have a sense of humor.. you're going to hate spending any time around me. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzQ4qdlhurc

 

That's a song/video I saw for the first time today.  I laughed so hard I cried.  Think "Bow chicka bow wow"  If it makes you smile.. well, perhaps we have the same sense of humor, and I am glad to have helped someone smile.  If it doesn't make you smile... hey, don't bother to message me.. doubtful we'd ever get along.  LOL