Well, I have something of a diverse experience in D/s.
I am comfortable working in the framework of Dominance and submission, in the depth of connection of Master and slave, in the fun and joy of Daddy and Babygirl, and also I really enjoy the playfulness and intensity of Trainer and pet relationships and how they can deepen submission beyond mere protocol.
The big challenge for me is to find a girl who can explore all of these aspects of a relationship together or even one who has that diversity of interest. I love it when I find a girl who has a well-developed baby persona, because my Daddy is really my emotional home and the closest to vanilla to me. My vanilla nature is basically the sweetest, kindest and most gentle guy you'll find. Daddy is a happy, enthusiastic, funny and charming person, and he LOVES his girl. A lot of littles emerge as a result of abuse or neglect and Daddy understands. He tries to help her grow and accept things and become more herself. Some girls just love the feeling of being cherished and love to have some truly sexy things happen in that space. I love that too, but it's always in the context of being a safe place and protecting her so she can grow.
I began my experience of the lifestyle back around 2000 as a protocol Dominant and pet trainer, mostly kittens, but puppies are fun as well. I think there's a natural connection between kitten play and babygirls. It's kind of beautiful. But the process I've developed over time, my Nine Cuffs, has to do with a girl consistently opening and serving more deeply until she can be fully open and fully owned in awarding of the ninth cuff, a true collar.
Giving everything means that a girl trusts her Owner/Dom/Master/Trainer/Daddy/Guide so much that nothing can ever or will ever be withheld. Physical openness and intimacy are assumed in this, but also every aspect of her hopes and dreams and aspirations, all of her emotional content and love, all of the stories that made her who she is. Every physical, mental, emotional, spiritual aspect of what a girl is and what she can be belongs to Him in love, for life, come what may.
When I say I love a girl who can give me everything, it means that. I have found it briefly and in flashes. I have seen it and enjoyed it only a few times, but I'm still looking and I won't stop until I have found it.
So, my process is a training program that I call Nine Cuffs. Each cuff (2x each ankles, wrists, thighs, arms) represents another aspect of the training process and culminates with the ninth cuff, a full collar.
I divide my time with a submissive between "free" time and "zone" time. Free time is the full range of vanilla life, it can be as platonic or as sexual, as mundane, profane, or sacred as vanilla life. We are just people who enjoy one another's company making our way in the world. Some guidelines stretch out across free time, but it is generally free of the influence of most aspects of protocol. Zone time is the hyper-sexualized, hypercontrolled, intimate space I create to cultivate my submissive's sexual energy in guiding her to her highest intimate nature. Generally, zone time requires protocol and submission at all times. I also intend for zone time to be "sacred" space, by which I mean that whatever happens in that space, no matter how raw or intense, the goal is to increase intimacy, respect, passion, trust, and devotion.
Nine Cuffs Training Process
This is the "getting to know" you phase, where a sub and I explore the basics of one another. We cover issues like safety, desires, limits, and health. We try to decide that we both want the same things out of a relationship and that we're compatible.
I evaluate all relationships across the three critical dimensions of chemistry: physical chemistry - passion, mental chemistry - respect, and emotional chemistry - trust. I will only proceed beyond the preliminaries if I see the potential that these areas of chemistry are likely to all rise above a 7 or 8 on a ten point scale.
Protection and Consideration:
In the Protection phase, I consider the girl my property. She is to operate within the structure established within the guidelines we review and approve together and she has the opportunity to learn and grow as we become closer and more intimate. I make every effort to make it possible for a girl to be successful in her primary mission within the relationship, which is to please me. I am clear and fair. I don't require misconduct for punishment. I use impact for my pleasure. Punishment for me usually involves time away from myself. It is my intent for a girl to be successful in pleasing me and I make every effort to ensure she has everything she needs to do so.
Guidelines: The structures that establish the day to day operation of our relationship. I create the baseline set of guidelines and we review them together before they are enacted. A girl is welcome to request any changes to guidelines she sees fit. A guideline is of no value if she is likely to fail. Only after all guidelines are fully reviewed and evaluated are they instituted within the relationship.
Position: These are the slave positions that enable the most effective use of "zone" time together. With one or two words I should be able to guide a girl to any position for service or use. A sampling of positions can be found here.
Protocol: A girl must show an aptitude, willingness, and ability to deport herself with grace and respect both in public and in private. This is the "Yes, Sir", "Please", and "Thank You, Sir" of our interaction and understanding the correct use and demeanor in "free" and "zone" time.
Chronicle: A girl who belongs to me must belong to me physically, but also mentally and emotionally as well. Her hopes and aspirations, dreams and all of the stories that make up her life and emotional development are mine. Only when I fully trust that a woman is completely open to me with her whole heart, will I take her fully into training.
At this point in a relationship, there is a very high level of trust between us. We have been involved for a good amount of time and intimacy is increasing. By now we are friends, lovers, play partners, and trusted allies facing the world together. Devotion is increasing as we grow to overcome the inevitable conflicts that no relationship can escape.
Service: This is a full exploration of service; household and sexual. A girl must be fully available and must enjoy service if she is to truly earn her collar.
Rope: Shibari is a passion of mine and I require a bottom for my rope work.
Pet Training: From the outside this looks like collar, leash, crop and cage work, but what it really represents is the deepest behavior modification and emotional connection between Owner and possession. A girl who can give herself fully in pet training can give herself fully in life.
Exposition: This is similar to the Chronicle above, but in life together as partners in relationship. Now that all expectations between us have been exposed, how do we work together in life? Can we open and grow together? Does our time together increase passion and trust and respect? Are we able to work past issues and co exist in both free and zone time? Do we still want the same things from each other and the relationship and as the relationship has matured or changed, are we still able to grow together?
Devotion: This is an abstract concept, but devotion is the critical component to the collar. Even if a girl has fully completed all of the steps of training within Mentorship/Protection/Consideration, if she does not show the potential for lasting devotion, a collar does not make sense and I will not offer it.
A collar for me is no easy accomplishment, as you can see. It's not something I give lightly and not something to be set aside. For me a collar is as close to forever as anything could possibly be. It means a mutual commitment to grow and open to one another with everything we are for as long as we possibly can be together. It means a commitment to explore and expand trust, respect and passion, across time and the devotion to cherish one another. A collar means devotion to each other and a dedication to help one another achieve our every true dream together, come what may.