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KinkyNJMaster
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| i don't accept random friends request either...if i have not talked to you i am not going to add you so be forewarned now on why you will be rejected if you add me without talking to me first
ok time for a much needed update here...i am not in a relationship but am not looking for one right now either i am working onhealing me so i can be a batter slave or sub for someone so right now i am not at a point of my life where i am ready for a relationship i am also under the protection of a Gorean Master who keeps me in line i have been into bdsm for 11 years now and Gor for 5.. i enjoy aspects of both bdsm and Gor...to me Gor allows for a deeper submission but that is only my opinion...i enjoy pain and understands the difference between pain for pleasure and pain for punishment... i am always willing to get to know people and like to meet like minded people......if you would like to know more about me don't be afraid to email me and just ask.
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words I now live by that helps me get threw the day
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen. |
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they say to start recovery you need to admit what you did wrong I know i have hurt a bunch of people out there and regret it i know what i have done in the past was bad i got strung on drugs and drinking became an addicted strayed along the wrong path but now i am getting treatment and am sober and living a sober life... i feel better about myself and working the steps to a healthily recovery some people think i forgot what i did to them but i haven't i know what did to them and it pains me to remember it because that is a part of my life that shames me more then anything makes me feel humiliated beyond belief because its stuff i cant believe i did but now i am working the steps of na and aa to stay sober and get better getting intensive help for my issues so one day when the right Dom or Master comes along i am the perfect slave for them but they say in recovery its bestto focus on the yourself first which would be me because i have an issue and a disease that cannot be cured and i know when i got to make the step to move on into a relationship i would want someone sober someone that is not drinking or doing drugs because it would be healthier for me in the long run as it makes for a better relationship |
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i have always enjoyed Gor this is just a description i wrote for a Gorean in sl
tiny feet brush the stone steps as the girl walks into the garden near the kennels looking around taking in the wonderful relaxing scents of the colorful, sweet smelling flaminium's, the veminium's chirping water flowing threw the fountains a soft smile crosses full pink lips as the slender girl moves to a well hidden spot with a bag of scrolls dainty feet lightly touching the soft green grass while looking to the beautiful cloud free blue summer sky....lowers herself gracefully to the ground laying back feeling the soft grass against silken skin letting out a lustful sigh relaxing and takes out a scroll beginning to read it to learn the most that can be learned about various subjects that would please My Master on knowing with the arts of her slavery...steel-hued eyes glancing around the small garden while the scroll is unraveled...a small red talender is noticed close to where she lays...reaching over carefully delicate hands take and pick it then slips it into raven hair |
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“The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love."
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well this is just another song i like
S&M lyrics
Na na na na
Come on
Na na na na
Come on
Na na na na na
Come on
Na na na na
Come on, come on, come on
Na na na na
Come on
Na na na na
Come on
Na na na na na
Come on
Na na na na
Come on, come on, come on
Na na na na
Feels so good being bad (Oh oh oh oh oh)
There's no way I'm turning back (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Now the pain is my pleasure cause nothing could measure (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Love is great, love is fine (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Out the box, outta line (Oh oh oh oh oh)
The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Na na na na
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it (Na na na)
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it
Love is great, love is fine (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Out the box, outta line (Oh oh oh oh oh)
The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more (Oh oh oh oh oh)
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/r/rihanna-lyrics/s&M-lyrics.html ]
Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Na na na na
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it (Na na na)
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it
S-S-S & M-M-M
S-S-S & M-M-M
Oh, I love the feeling you bring to me, oh, you turn me on
It's exactly what I've been yearning for, give it to me strong
And meet me in my boudoir, make my body say ah ah ah
I like it-like it
Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Na na na na
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it (Na na na)
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it
Come on, come on, come on
I like it-like it
S-S-S & M-M-M
S-S-S & M-M-M
S-S-S & M-M-M
S-S-S & M-M-M |
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well sitting here going threw emails and and being bored as normal...my life changing on a moments notice at times.. some people don't understand me as i am who i am and what i am some people find it wrong but yet i continue with who i am i guess its a lifestyle that will be there the rest of my life but as i look threw songs there are always lyrics that i feel describe my moods at times... but as i change for the better i am learning more about myself as i am taking a break for now unless the right one finally comes alog |
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ok well this entry is just lyrics to a song that a close friend of mine dedicated to me one night in second life to cheer me up when i was down and out crying my eyes out
Fuckin' Perfect lyrics
Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're
nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me!
You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were
wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you
instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same
Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect
[. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/p/pink-lyrics/fuckin_-perfect-lyrics.html .]
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're
nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me
The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too
hard and it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
Why do I do that..?
Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby..!
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me
You're perfect, you're perfect!
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're
nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me... |
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well i am just sitting here and bored but begining to wonder i prefer the lifestyle but is there ever a time when you can say i think my life is way to vanilla and it needs a change every now and then as i sit back and look at my life and relise most everything i do anymore is vanilla in some way so its like with the city i live in i never hear of any lifestyle stuff going on guess i will go back to being bored out of my mind now... laughs not good when a sub/slave is bored
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"a girl with a slave's heart" Wanted by many... Taken by none ,, Looking at some... Waiting For... Just One...
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A Smile Crosses Her Lips
the pain begins as only a whisper
caressing the nerve endings
almost pleasure
then it begins to arch
making her bow up
back painfully arched
shivers racing along her naked flesh
muscles clenching
waves of agony
tears start to stream from her eyes
barely able to breathe
she gasps
turning to moans as the pain increases
the pain mixing with the pleasure
unable to tell the difference
she trembles
pulling at her bonds
she cannot stay still
feeling the break begin again
deep within her soul
loosing more of her will
His pleasure becoming hers
His desires taking over her own
she tries to fight
but He has her within his hold
too tight to break
she accepts the pain along with the pleasure
and as it fades she cannot seem to see anything
nothing but Him
her heart
her mind
her body
her very soul
all His
and with tears flowing over her face
a small smile crosses her lips..
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Alone
I walk alone my thoughts are of you
I walk alone and you are there
I sit alone space besides me
I sit alone and you appear
I sleep alone bed so empty
I sleep alone your in my dreams
I eat alone my meal not shared
I eat alone your at my table
I laugh alone no one to hear
I laugh alone I hear you laughter
I cry alone my tears not seen
I cry alone your arms are there
In my thoughts in day and in night
Making my path through life complete
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She's left all alone,
lost in the dark,
noone can help her,
she's falling apart.
Lost is her voice,
she cannot sing,
lost is her sight,
she cannot see.
Lost is the fire,
in her eyes,
lost is her conscience,
that made her do right.
Lost is her soul,
that controlled her life,
lost is her heart,
and her beautiful life.
Lost is everything,
that made her up,
lost is everything,
even her cuts.
Sami Woodall
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here is another thing a friend had sent me also awhile back when he asked me a question which was that which is stronger than steel and well this writing was different then what i had said i dont remember my answer to him now but here is his essay:
When one comes to Me seeking guidance and understanding of what being true gorean is, I ask to A/all, both Free and slave, a simple question:
"Tell Me that which is stronger than steel?"
It is the answer to this simple yet often non-comprehensive question that is the basis behind the essence of the lifestyle.
Is the answer Honor? No.
Is it The Master? No.
Is it Love? Is it Trust? Is it Respect? Partially,
Often the center of life as a gorean seems to be the Free; and the slave is but an afterthought. The books suggest a slave is nothing more than a commodity, a product, a possession. They are ... but at the same time they are much much more.
Many masters, and free women, both lowercased intentionally, think what they are comes from degrading the slave or kaji before them. That such actions give them strength, give them superiority, set them above the one they do so to. What they lack is seeing that such actions set them below even these animals they degrade.
If the wind blows strong and we slice the sail, are we hindering or helping ourselves? Do we not tighten the ropes and let it catch the wind to carry us where it may?
If a bosk is growing strong in the fields, do we stop it from eating so it wastes away? Or do we nurture it to eventually enjoy that which the beast will give up in th end for us?
If we see the beauty of the Tarn soaring in the sky, will we clip it's wings and expect seeing such splender continue? Or will the rider ease on the harness and let the animal saor free at times letting it still know it's life is owned but also still it's own?
Do we dull a blade and still expect it to cut? Or do we sharpen it to be all it can be for us? Will we work it, fold the steel, shine it and edge it to become a superior extension of ourselves?
The slave is like the sail, is like the bosk, is like the Tarn, is like the blade ...
The power of a Master comes not from within Themselves but from within that property kneeling before them. Their strength is given freely to them by the heat and heart of the slave. In the respect the slave shows them, in the trust the slave has in Them, and in a love that flows through them ... not forcefully taken, but openly given and fueled by the heat which burns within.
It is the strength of this creature before us which gives us strength ... We are nothing without them. Their love, their heart is what makes Us, and in that open giving and receiving, We as Masters, we as Free, give that love back to them 3 -fold .... a cycle ever growing and continuing. A symbiotic relation self-perpetuating.
It is Our duty to them and Ourselves to nurture this creature before Us, allowing them to become, allowing them to maintain the essence of their own individuality while teaching them what it is to grow and be a part of Us.
The answer to the simple question, that which is stronger than steel is now before us ... it is the kaji's heart ....
For without it, We as Masters, we as Free, become nothing.
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this was in something a friend gave me on a game called second life i enjoyed the words and the meaning that can be found in them so i put it on here for others to read also:
i find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive
to my Master in a loving relationship.
i am not weak or stupid. i am a strong woman,
with firm views and a clear concept of what i want out of my life.
i do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength.
i will look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never
will i be more complete than when He is with me.
i know that He will protect my body, my mind, and my soul
with His strength and wisdom.
He is everything to me, as i am everything to Him.
His touch awakens me and His thoughts free me.
Only in serving Him do i find complete freedom and joy…
His punishments may be harsh, but i accept them thankfully,
knowing that He has my best interests always foremost in His mind.
If He desires my body for pleasure, i shall joyfully give it to Him
and take pleasure myself from knowing that i have brought Him happiness.
However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of O/our relationship.
The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt,
those are all parts of this relationship.
My body is His, and if He says i am beautiful, then i am.
No matter what i look like to others, i am beautiful in His eyes,
and because of that i hold my head high.
If He says i am His precious jewel,
then i am that…a beautiful, sparkling gem.
If He says that i am His pet, His slut, His whore, then i am that..
as wanton and dirty as He wants me to be.
My mind is His, to expand, to explore, to know only as He can.
i have no secrets from Him… for secrets are a thing that would
keep me from being more perfectly His.
Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself…
and i do not want walls.
His lessons are not always ones i would seek on my own,
but they are lessons He has decided that i need, and so i learn from Him.
My soul is His, as bare to His touch as ever my skin could be
when i kneel naked at His feet.
Never a moment goes by when i do not feel His presence,
be He miles away or standing over me.
If i were to ever displease Him, His displeasure would be a blow to my soul,
worse punishment than any lashes could be.
The anguish of my soul that i feel when i disappoint Him
is harder to bear than any physical anguish i feel.
i am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend
His time and energy so freely on me.
i have the easier job, to feel, to experience,
to let myself go and abandon everything to Him.
i am His pleasure and His responsibility, and He takes both seriously .
i am a submissive woman.
i am proud to call myself that, my submission is a gift that i do not give lightly,
and can only be given to the One who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.
Only to my Master who has that strength, will i give myself fully,
because i too am strong and proud.
i freely offer my strength to him, knowing from what I am, from what I give to Him,
He gains strength to willing reciprocate.
i am a submissive woman.
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just sitting here as i know i am under consideration i decide to start reading some poems and quotes on bdsm as i sit back reluctant to knowing what i am and who i am the collar on my neck reminding me of what is yet to come and that i am only a helpless slave girl i sit back and read more on stuff and find a poem that fits what i am thinking this very moment
All I Want
Author: luna
The
fear I once had,
Has been dissolved,
In an instant of pain.
That pain so thrilling,
I can only crave it again.
My mind
was so uncertain,
Till that door was opened.
Bring me to that
sweet pain again,
Let me know my limits,
Teach me what you
can,
Lead me to the edge.
It is only one facet of what I
desire.
I now know that that has to be an element;
Give me
some pain for my pleasure,
But do not forget to give me pleasure.
I thrive off of you, live for you,
Everything I feel is for you
alone.
Let me be who I can be for you,
And I will prove myself
worthy of the work.
Challenge my heart, push my mind,
Let’s
see where I can go.
Tease me,
Torture me,
Drive me
wild.
I want to know,
How much can I handle,
Before I go
over the edge.
Make me beg,
Humble myself before you,
Bring me to my knees,
Aching for more.
Yes Sir,
I see
that now.
All I want,
Is what you want from me.
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"The collar is put on from without, but what it
encircles comes from within. Slavery, true slavery, comes from within."
Page 210 - Savages of Gor
"To know what it is to be a slave one must be in the collar, one must be
a slave."
Page 286 - Vagabonds of Gor
"No woman, it is said, knows truly what she is until she has worn the
collar."
Page 155 - Raiders of Gor
"Beauty and
intelligence are all well and good," I said, "but the best slave is she
who loves most deeply."
Page 204 - Magicians of Gor
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"The life of a female slave," he said, "is a life wholly
given over to love. It is not a compromised life. It is not one of
those lives which is part this, and part that. It is a total way of
life, a total life... There are no bargains made with her, no
arrangements."
Page 435 - Mercenaries of Gor
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"To know what it is to be a slave one must be in the collar, one must be a slave."
Page 286 - Vagabonds of Gor
"Slavery,
of course, is the surest path by means of which a woman can discover
her femininity. The paradox of the collar is the freedom which a woman
experiences in at last finding herself, and becoming herself."
Page 160 - Magicians of Gor
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"It
is easy to tell among girls which are familiar with their condition and
which are not. Once a girl truly understands that she is a slave, and
there is no escape for her, once she understands it truly, emotionally,
categorically, intellectually, physiologically, totally, deeply,
profoundly, in every cell in her beautiful body, a fantastic
transformation occurs in her. She then knows she is truly a slave. She
then becomes wild and free, and sexual, and cares not that she might be
scorned by the free either for her miserable condition or helpless
appetites; she knows she will be what she must; she has no choice; she
is slave. Women, in their heart, long to submit; this is necessary for
the slave girl; she must submit or die; submitted, she is thrilled to
the core; she lives then for love and service, bound to the will of her
master. The joy of the slave girl may seem incomprehensible to the free
but it is a reality."
Page 55 - Beasts of Gor
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"Do
you know, ultimately," I asked, "who will prove to be your one best
trainer?" "No, Master," she said. "You, yourself," I said, "the girl,
herself, eager to please, imaginative and intelligent, monitoring her
own performances and feelings, striving lovingly to improve and refine
them. You yourself will be largely responsible for making yourself the
superb slave you will become."
Page 210 - Savages of Gor
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"The
Perfect Bondage" is said to be one man and one woman, the complete
master and the complete slave, ideal and perfect for each other's
needs."
Page 442 - Slave Girl of Gor
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ok yes i am starting my journal on here lol i will probily only put in here quotes and stuff that i want to say most of the quotes i will use are from the gorean books
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| Age: 38 |
| Riverside,
California |
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