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MasterJurien
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SunDevilKat2016
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Currently a full time student, looking for mainly friends in the Tampa area.? Not new to the lifestyle but inexperienced. I am what is traditionally called a brat aka babygirl aka Lil one.
My ideal partner would be a Daddy Dom, Mommy or couple. Currently I am living at home so it complicates things a bit. I am a larger girl, ok, rather large but I am also tall. In the last two years I have lost 105 pounds safely and slowly. I have multiple health conditions which make doing this hard but I keep doing it, I would think that this says something about my character.
If you simply are looking for a piece of meat, a one night stand, or similar then don't even bother messaging me.
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I am not a girl who falls to her knees and worships any man or woman that crosses her path.
I am hard willed.
I am stubborn.
I am fragile at times.
I am complicated.
I am beautiful.
I will be respected if you want respect.
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Don't ask for nude pictures, I don't have any.
Don't ask for phone sex, I don't do that.
Don't tell me to blindly trust, obey or bow down before you because I will tell you to kiss my lily white ass.
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Since my last entry I have learned about myself more and learned more about the spectrum of Daddies. I have learned that I both enjoy pain and pleasure, that I enjoy a taste of Sadism and the gentle caress of a hand in my hair or on my cheek.
I extend apologies to any I might have offended in my learning. |
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Idiot of the Day Award:
This award goes to the man that messaged me claiming to be a Daddy Dom. Sorry, but a Daddy Dom does not humiliate His babygirl, force Himself onto her, force her to have His babies, beat and abuse His babygirl.
A babygirl is something that is cherished. Loved. Cared for. Nurtured. A babygirl is something that is very delicate. We border on the fence of submissive and little. It does not take much to hurt us, but it takes a lot to fix that hurt. So when someone messages me, after claiming to read the rest of my journal entries about the pain that others have caused, it makes me wonder about them. This time, before messaging back, I chose to look at his profile to see what kind of man this might be, might this be the one that actually cares? No, in fact, from the opening paragraph of his profile that mentions every single thing in my first paragraph, I can see that this man is far from what he claims to be.
I chose to respond to this man, which also, is something I don't normally do after finding out such information.
This is my response:
Sorry, but after looking at your profile I cannot believe that you call yourself a Daddy. A Daddy does NOT abuse His babygirl. A Daddy does NOT humiliate His babygirl. A Daddy does NOT force Himself on His babygirl. A Daddy is loving. A Daddy is caring. A Daddy nurtures, does NOT destroy His girl. You are NOT a Daddy. You are far from it. You are a Sadist. It's NOT a wonder that you can't find anyone that is "serious" as you say, no one can take you seriously when you don't even realize that you aren't what you claim to be when messaging them. |
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An Open Letter to Those I Called Friends
Friends, not an easy concept for me, especially to become friends with people I probably would never meet. But, you gained my trust, gained my heart and most of all, gained my friendship. If you were any friend at all, you would know how hard, deathly hard, it is for me to trust. I trusted you with my secrets, my time, and most of all, I trusted you to be there for me as I was there for you. So, I can only hope that you can imagine, at least to the tiniest degree, of how much my heart and spirit broke when, out of the blue, I was blasted with things that I did not know were happening.
I did not know that by simply being myself was so horribly annoying to everyone around me. I did not know by sticking close to two people over as many months equated that I was being clingy to anyone that would have me. I did not know that by interacting and trying to help out that I was causing such discomfort. Most of all, I did not know that I was hurting those that I called friends simply by being around them.
But, now, looking back I realize that none of these things was my problem. It was yours, you who I called a friend. You could not stand that I was more interactive than those who hid in corners and simply watched a screen roll past them. You could not stand that I had those in the room that I would be friends with no matter what. You could not stand that I was liked by most who met me. You could not stand that despite all the shit that happened in my life, I was able to work it out in productive ways. You could not stand me.
If I could go back, the only thing I wish that would have changed is that you, those who I called friends, had enough respect to have come to me before such hatred built up and you felt the need to explode over me. Now that you have, I will never be able to trust you again. I will never feel wanted or comfortable around a group of people who I felt safe enough with to let the real me be seen. I will never feel as though I can simply be. I most likely will not be spending much, if any, time around you, those I called friends, because now I know. Now that I know how all of you felt about me, I will never feel the same about any of you.
So, when you wonder where I have gone off to, just remember, you are the ones who wanted me gone. You are the ones who disliked me. And now, you have your wishes granted. |
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To the idiot that was just emailing me trying to pressure me into a meeting after only emailing less than an hour and then declaring I have too many complications:
I am so sorry that I have enough self respect to not meet and fuck a person the same day. I'm sorry my self-respect and morals offends you. No, wait. I'm not sorry for anything I've done or traits I have.. I'm sorry that you are that desperate. Good luck in finding a slut! |
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Ugh I get so tired of men messaging me about what they want me to do to them or what body part they want to cover in cum etc..why can't people just say hi and have a normal conversation?! Fyi..if you mail me simply talking about sex, it's the best way to find yourself in my ignore list. |
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People keep asking me "how is collarme treating you" and typically I answer it's ok..but the truth is, I'm wondering if I am defective or something. Go on a date with one guy, stepping way outside my comfort zones to please him and the entire way back to my home he's all about how he wants to meet again yada yada yada. I text him three next day to see if he got home ok, no answer. So I wait another day and send him a message thanking him for the good night and saying I hope to see him again soon...only to be told I'm not worth his time.
I'm not worth his time?! Did he not get what he wanted? Did he not cum? (yes to both of those).. But I'm not worth his time.
Tonight I spent hours chatting with another man. I thought the chat was going pretty good. In the time it took me to take a drink of water and pick my phone back up, he'd disappeared off yahoo. So I thought, maybe he'd gone to bed so I come on here to leave a message...message cannot be sent because he'd blocked me.
I am seriously beginning to question if I have a huge stamp on my forehead that reads defective or something. |
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| Age: 21 |
| New york,
New York |
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