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painslavegirl
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LadyEsenem
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MasterFireMaam
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Rorie
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Domfun3
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tygertyger69
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DaddysGirl217
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hisgirl24
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MissAlexaTS
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I'm an outdoor lover and prefer most things outside.
I do the best I can to live each day with honor and integrity.
I consider play and sex sacred and spiritual and do not want to just casually hook up, or be used like a toy by just anyone.
I value and respect myself and take good care of my body.
I am in collarme mainly to speak to my local face to face friends.
I am very blessed to have a lot of people I know and care about here in the DC area community.
Having places like this to stay in touch is wonderful.
Be Well & Balanced,
suzanne
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Thoughts God gave me this week to share
A good Master loves their slave like God loves them........and......A good slave loves their Master like God.
GOD, Master, slave.
That’s the triskillion for me that causes the M/s exchange to work for me.
It’s the giving and taking of the power of the Creator shared between Master and slave that’s freedom on this earth to me.
and
Great healing comes by and through great pain.
It’s not the destination.
We choose not to arrive every time we carry an unhealthy form of pain.
Be it emotional, mental or spiritual, to carry it is your choice.
No one else can get you past it till you’re ready to arrive at the destination without it.
Pain does not stop us...
WE stop ourselves.
I thank God Master Rorie being in my life & loving me purley as a Master has allowed me to understand this stuff.
He’s incredible!
suzanne | |
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JUST FYI collarme won't let me post the flesh hook suspension shots since I didn't take them myself.
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JUST FYI
The photos of the fish hook suspension are still not in my possession.
They say it'll be about another month befor they have the hundreds of them cleaned up and ready for distribution.
Look for them in my photos here maybe the end of Nov.
suzanne
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Friday October 19th I had the BDSM symbol cut in my abdomen over my solar plexus in a method called scarification.
A licensed professional body modification guy Ryan Oulette (I think the best of the best) did the skin removal.
I'm a little tender, but with the numbing agent the cutting itself was not bad.
I LOVE the cutting and can't wait for it to heal.
I just think I should mention I've wanted a brand or something like this for over 2 years.
I decided on this and began talking to Ryan 6 months ago.
Please remember when you do something this permanent you are sure it's your own desire and choice or you should not have it done at all.
I am very pleased with my cutting & look forward to posting photos when it's healed.
suzanne |
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Fish Hook Suspension
Wow, yesterday at an event called Suspend in DC I saw about 15 people do fish hook suspensions.
There were two options.
One was Horizontal, and the other vertical.
Then they had the option of face up or face down.
They were hooked with a minimum of 4, 8 gage fish hooks that had the barbs cut off.
It was worn down to the shape of a wedge much like a door stopper.
I'd say at the widest point of the barb it was 1/8 inch.
I actually went up myself.
I did 4 hooks in my back.
Master Rorie was there holding my hands.
When they lifted me up I rested my knees on his hips and my hands on his shoulders.
It burned, but more so than that I was too afraid to just let go of Master and fly free.
Still over all I was lifted off my feet by them.
It was an incredible thing for me.
Lots of faiths and spiritual journeys have suspensions and big gage needles through the skin.
Before we began we did Rikki and I stretched for about ten minutes.
I selected my quitting smoking and becoming a non-smoker as the intention for my lift.
Now the piercing and pulling has been completed my intention is already loosed in the world, I just have to follow the path to completion.
Yes, I sit here a little sore today, but not near as much as the mind would wander and assume I'd be sore.
A little stiffness in my shoulder blades and that's really about it.
I'm lucky enough one of the event photographers is a friend of mine.
I should have some photos of my suspension soon.
If interested I'll have a version of the photo available I'll be able to e-mail to those interested in seeing it.
I do not want to put this in my collarme photographs due to the graphic content.
Just thought I'd share this with you all as it was an important moment in my life.
suzanne |
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Wow, She has a way of putting my feelings into words.
This is a caption from the Diary of Anais Nin.
If interested in finding out more about her google her.
I'm going to buy her book, I think it would be good for everyone in BDSM as a strong sub/slave should.
suzanne
"I do not want to be the leader.
I refuse to be the leader.
I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness.
I want a man lying over me, always over me.
His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot.
I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated.
I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling to all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, taken, and possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding."
Anais Nin |
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The Four Gifts
she kneels before her Masters feet and looks into His eyes searching for the truth she needs as she vows Him her life. Four packages lay on the floor, all wrapped. she reaches low to place the first in the lap of the One she adores. Opened as quickly as He had won it, He views her heart inside. It is yours My love, and has been since the day you helped Me to your side.
The second gift is smaller. The paper is silver gilt. Tis just my mind, she whispers, to do with as You will.
The third one, small and compact, white paper, small white bow. she watches as He opens and whispers... and now you own my soul.
she bends to pick the last gift up and trembles as she holds it. Small tears of love run down her face. This gift has been the hardest. He smiles at her and reaches and watches the gift dissolve. "Master, love," she whispers, "This gift is more than just my love. It can't be held. It can't be wrapped. The gift is my surrender." *unknown* |
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This I read today in cuffnspankme's profile tag line in the forum here.
It just blew me away as it's simple, elegant and as deep as the ocean IMO.
I just had to share it here as it's too beautiful not to.
"I do not know why it is, but the condition of slavery makes a woman very beautiful. It removes inhibitions to the manifestation of her femininity and her deepest needs." |
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E-MAILS in August---
Hello All,
Just a note to say I'm very busy the next few weeks and will not have a lot of free time to respond to messages.
If you have written me I will get back to you.
It just may take a little while.
Thanks for your patience,
suzanne
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IF - Author unknown -------
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
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OPEN, POLY OR MONOGAMY
I was a single minded focused monogamous person my whole life till I hit BDSM.
The book The Ethical Slut really broadened my view and helped me understand a lot about sharing.
I highly recommend reading it to any one who's got or is considering multi partnered connections.
What I've learned is often partners who can not, will not share their partners due to jealousy issues do this from an insecurity point of view mostly.
Some also can't share because the emotion of jealousy.
Instead of being expressed and used in healthy relationship communications often overtakes you with fear.
It's natural to feel jealous, but it does not have to control you if you learn to control it and share that emotion out loud in healthy ways with a partner.
Jealousy most often is about the fear of them finding someone else they can love or connect with deeply being a threat in your mind to your own worth and connection with them.
It in their mind leaves the door open to other potential suitors who can steal you from them potentially.
If you choose to be monogamous I don't think that's necessarily a weakness or draw back in my mind.
I also don't think people who are one way or another are more right or wrong.
Monogamy makes your connection more bonding in a lot of ways, but at the same time you miss parts of your identity exploration IMO.
Different spirits bring out different emotions and connections.
The energy, feelings and emotions you bring to your partner can not be duplicated by any other living person.
I also think we as humans have the ability to love lots of people all at the same time.
Much like you love your family and friends, but no matter how many you have there's room for one more and each one brings out different feelings and elements in your life.
In an open relationship where you have that bonded mated connection with only one it's very freeing to get beyond the jealousy and not be insecure about sharing IMO.
My heart is not permanently linked to my pussy.
I could fu*k 10 guys in a week and still have great longing to connect to my partner.
No one can give me what I get from my partner in mechanics alone.
To me having sex can be placed in a part of my mind that makes it matter about as much as dancing with someone, or it can be an all encompassing spiritual journey where my soul and someones become inseparable.
In that IMO open relationships takes a lot of weight and responsibility of timing, health issues, and meeting your partners needs for attention off your shoulders which can be a good thing.
Poly sharing for me is also a plus and beneficial if all are connected as family and live as such. Again your chores are shared and there's a lot less pressure to be able to perform when you're not feeling up to par or under other time constraints.
The first time I watched my lover screw another I was all full of trepidation.
I was sure jealousy was going to just strangle me silly.
What happened instead was I was blown away by the beauty of seeing his thrusting piston hips as he buried himself into her from this whole new perspective.
I also had a tremendous self awareness epiphany I was not expecting in judging her responses vs my responses to this phenomenal lover of mine.
You know so many people compliment you, say it's never been like this or that for me before and things.
When people compliment me I've often immediately followed that in my mind with "You say that to all the girls I bet.".
Watching their responses to each other verified some things, but also showed me some big differences to.
It woke me up to yes we all at some points give out patented compliments, but sometimes there are things that cause certain responses with that person that only happen with me.
I also saw some responses with the other ladies he did that never happen with me and a whole new part of his sexuality I would not have been able to view in my own relationship with him as I didn't hit him that way.
I think depending on people's understanding and position sharing can be life giving or life taking and we each have our own desires and limits that guide us.
One way or another way is not the right way.
The right way is what works for you and your partners.
What approach do I prefer???
So far I honestly can say I don't know.
I think I could be content in a relationship monogamous, open, or poly.
For me it's not about that as much is it is about how the one I choose to serve wants our house to be in his mind.
LOL now for the conditional bottom in me talking I also have to say for me, right or wrong, I at this time could not be emotional OK with him seeing anyone he wanted to and me under different rules of monogamy.
I'd be sitting home horny as hell way too often from his expenditures elsewhere affecting his performance desires with me.
If he's permitted other connections I also want to be permitted other connection by my choices and his approval of them.
Does that mean I'd just go fuc* the world just because I can, NO, but knowing we are both kept to the same agreement is important to me.
suzanne |
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Sex toy conspiracy or what????
There are many web site specific pages I can't link here to the study.
Anyone interested in getting them must go to the message
boards and read this thread.
It's in the Health and Safety forum,
called Toxic sex toys, created 3/7/07 by BEachMystress.
The link filter
prevents me from posting them in here
==========================
From the message boards in collarme
Toxic Sex Toys - by BeachMystress
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We are talking about phthalates in sex toys. They are what make the jelly dildos and toys so soft and cushy. I first heard of this
two years ago.
At the time all I could find was a review on WomynsWare
citing an article by a German Magazine.
ORIGINAL: review of Crystal Jelly G-Spot dildo\line
" A recent study of
jelly dildos and vibrators commissioned by the German magazine Stern
(issue 31, 2001-07-26), reveals some alarming volatile chemical
compositions.
Toxicologists conducting the study were very concerned over the
"extremely high concentrations of solvents" found in the sex toys,
solvents that were sure to be absorbed into the mucous membranes of the body.
Off-gassing of Phthalatens sufficient to settle in the liver, kidneys
and other fatty tissues occurred at up to 100 times the acceptable
European standard (1000 ppm is the maximum accepted softener due to the
interference with hormonal metabolism caused by Phthalates. Dildos and
Vibrators tested had concentrations in the 240,000 ppm range!). Other
solvents found in the sex toys included Cyclohexanon, Phenol, and
Tetrahydrofurane. These chemicals provoke eye, respiratory, skin, and mucous
membrane irritation. Headaches, cramps, and nausea are some of the side
effects that result from exposure at the levels found in the study."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hello All,
Isn't that just the most unbelievable thing you've ever heard????
I just can't believe a country who would immunize kids in 6th grade to
prevent HPV from causing cervical cancer, and at the same time permit
sex toys to contain stuff causing gaseous emissions that are harmful to us.
Is it a conspiracy to get rid of sexual perverts in society by the
government or what???
The totally sucky thing is some of my most strongest masturbation
orgasms are from jelly toy designs you just can't find made out of other substances.
LOL now on the scale of off in less than 5 minutes pretty dang good's
gone to rub for 45 minutes to death to get one the size of an after
shock.
Oh well, what's a girl gonna do???
Not die of self inflicted twat problems that's for sure. suzanne |
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A Woman's Worth
A Woman's Worth:
"A woman who does not guard and treasure herself cannot be
of very much value to anyone else... Only a woman of pride,
complexity, and emotional tension is genuinely worth the act of
love, and there are only two ways to get yourself one of them.
Either you lie, and stain the relationship with your own sense of
guile, or you accept the involvement, the emotional responsibility,
the permanence she must by nature crave. I love you can be said
only two ways." |
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My feelings on blood rituals is that they are not to be undertaken lightly.
Neither the feeder or the food should enter into such a union without respecting this bonds the two of you in deep ways to each other physically and spiritually.
Not only should this be observed as the closest way to taste someone else's life force in spiritual senses, but also in the notion of the sharing of body fluids and the exposure that leaves you open to.
I would only consider permanent marking on my person, and sharing my life's blood with someone who was way within the inner circle in my life.
The raw and utter power of the spiritual union and pact this forms on top of the trophy you bare of that deep intimacy leaves me with respect for some who undertake it for the powerful thing it is, and no respect for those that undertake it without considering the total spiritual energy exchange and magnitude of the symbolism attached to the practice in some fashion.
Even in needle play where the blood is not consumed I feel the spilling of my blood is a sacred rite I've allowed to happen in myself and with the one who made me bleed.
I am highly turned on and excited about needle play.
I crave having a mate that shares this energy with me a lot.
I also have been into BDSM less than two years.
In that I have only done needles 4 times, when I'd have rather done them a couple of times a week.
Until the partner I have is on the same power exchange wave length and place I am in my being during my blood letting experiences, I just prefer to not experience it as the sensation alone is not what my blood spilling is about in my mind if done respectfully.
It's about opening my most vulnerable gift and not allowing anything to stand between my physical being and the others being and a connection and bonding of your spirits to me.
Respectfully,
suzanne |
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Seven Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living
1 This story may never happen
Whenever you notice your 'worry thoughts' arising use this little phrase to break the mental pattern and refocus – 'this story may never happen'.
2 Ask yourself that if what you worry about did happen what would you do next?
Let's say you worry that you are going to lose your job. Let's say all the evidence points towards your future being freed up! Take a moment to visualise what you would do next. What would be the next step, the step beyond the job you do now? See yourself taking that step with ease while enjoying and learning from the transition to a new chapter in your life.
3 Put all your worries on a piece of paper and then set fire to it Write down your worries on a blank sheet and then have a 'sacrificial fire ceremony' as you send you're your worries up in smoke.
4 See worry as paying interest on a debt that you have not yet incurred Watch how your worrying is draining you. The thoughts are sucking away your life energy. It's like a debt collector calling to collect on a debt you do not have. Stop paying of a non-existent debt.
5 Remind yourself that worry is not care then ask yourself what would real care look like To worry is to generate fear. Worry is fear, it cannot be care, because fear is not love, and true care is love in action. With this understanding in mind visualise what real care would look like. Instead of sending fearful negative thoughts to the object of your worry, send empowering and loving thoughts. You can be sure they will receive them.
6 Practice visualising an anastrophic picture instead of a catastrophic fantasy Worry is a fantasy of a catastrophe. It is an addiction to catastrophising. So practice the positive opposite, which is anastrophising! Sing to yourself every morning the line from that famous song, "I always look on the bright side of life". And if you think you can't sing 'don't worry', with this great excuse to practice, you will get better every day! And if you don't know the melody… create one!
7 Be honest with yourself and admit that worry is a selfish emotion And then 'do something' truly selfless in the context of what or who you are worrying about.
Questions: What are the three things that you worry about most? Which of the above seven ways might help you to break each of your three worry habits?
Reflection: Worry is a way of escaping into the future in order to avoid the present moment. What do you think you might be avoiding? Sit quietly and reflect and see what your intuition says to you.
Action: Make a mental note to not join in any 'worry conversations' this week at work or at home. |
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From my friend Niecy.
Obedience is the process of aligning one's behavior with the expectations of another. In a Master/slave relationship, this translates into the process of the slave learning to align their behavior with the expectations of their Master. Obedience is an outward expression of the slave's ability to integrate their trust in and respect for their Master and their belief that THEY not only know them well enough to know their best interest, but that THEY also loves them enough to consistently act on them. |
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My views of Christianity are far from any organized religion point of view.
I have spent the past twenty years studying all faiths Christian and otherwise.
In my heart I believe in God and Jesus.
I just think man has perverted God's word for the betterment of society.
In a nut shell I think monogamy is a concept of men and not God.
Back in the bible disease was rampant, as there was not plumbing or electricity or medicines to cure what ails people now.
The road map of how to live 2000 years ago applied then but not so much now.
Now people can get treatment, be clean and support children in single family households.
Back then a single woman with kids was homeless, as she was not allowed to own property etc...
Human society is way different now then it was then.
I also think when it comes to extreme sensation play that if it makes you happy it's not against God.
God is joy, love and happiness.
He joins in your joy when you’re happy.
Again society has taught us pain is bad, not God.
God says offer your suffering up to him for your sins.
There are numerous quotes in the bible that condones you having an earthly Master.
Here's a couple of Biblical Quotes
1 Timothy 6:1-2 reads:
All who are under the yoke as slaves are to regard their own masters as worthy of all honor so that the name of God and our doctrine will not be spoken against. Those who have believers, as their masters must not be disrespectful to them because they are brethren, but must serve them all the more, because those who partake of the benefit are believers and beloved. Teach and preach these principles.
Ephesians 6: 5-9:
Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ; not by way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free. And masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.
Titus 2: 9-10:
Urge bondslaves to be subject to their own masters in everything, to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith so that they will adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect.
Following the life that Master wants you to lead is following God's rules.
I'd also say go back and just read Genesis there are lots of quotes in the first ten pages of the good book that mention a Master and his slaves.
In the end God has written his rules in your heart and his spirit will let you know when something is wrong to do. Trust your discerning spirit more than what you hear from others or what you read.
Your gut has all you need from God to know if it's right or wrong.
Really if you seriously want answers go read the bible again.
Skip the boring lineage stuff and stick to the words and messages.
Now you've got your eyes open to this realm I know you see evil, pain and perversion all on the same levels in a lot of cases.
In a lot of those cases you're correct. There are indeed HUGE DEMONS running rampant in the BDSM society.
What you have to realize is those same demons possess people in the vanilla world too. Look at the news for example.
Society is getting darker as a whole.
I hate to say it, but I'm a very realistic person and I think over 40% of the D/s relationships I've seen are unhealthy. Then there are another 20% of people that are single that are unhealthy.
20%of single people I know are healthy, they just have no healthy relationship as they look for their needle in the haystack.
In 20% of the healthy BDSM oriented relationships I've seen in the face to face huge society of over 3000 people I only respect the position of three couples in the whole shebang enough I could live by their value system and kinks.
Mind you I respect in the 20% that are emotionally healthy people, in an emotionally healthy exchange.
I just differ in the concepts of how they think a BDSM relationship works internally.
Those are the people who I say my kink is not their kink and that does not make it not OK for them or wrong in my eyes, it’s just not me.
I also respect numerous people I have met on the web.
The only thing is till I’ve seen their interactions personally I really have no opinion of their relationships.
You have to be very careful in whom you align yourself with in the world as a whole as the devil tells you everything you want to hear.
He dangles the riches of the world to buy your soul.
That's why you have to stick to your GUT.
GOD'S SPIRIT LIVES THERE IN YOU.
We rationalize things we know are wrong because society and peer pressure push us to doubt our own gut.
We think in time this other person will get it and see things from our point of view.
We rationalize they are right for us and they’re over all a good person other than X.
Remember your insecurities and fears are sometimes the voice of angels protecting you and not just your own neurosis.
There's a wonderful book the Ethical slut.
Read that.
I think that will help you find more balance in what really matters to you and what you want to be viewed as by others.
I hit 40 and in my mid life chris's have decided if what I do does not hurt anyone directly those that are offended by my life are entitled to their opinion.
I am entitled just as much to have my own.
I live by the integrity I see fit to mold myself by and no other. |
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LIFE IS A GIFT
( I found this and thought it would be worth posting it here)
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything. Including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"
The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend
was blind, too, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears and later wrote a letter to her saying, "Just take good care of my eyes, dear."
This is how the human brain changes when our status changes. Only few remember what life was before and who's always been there, even in the most painful situations.
Life is a gift. Today, before you think of saying an unkind word, think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.
Today, before you complain about life, think of someone who went too early to heaven. Before you complain about your children, think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house because someone didn't clean or sweep, think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet, and, when you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But, before you think of pointing the finger or condemning
another, remember that not one of us is without sin, and we all answer to one Maker. And, when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.
Life is a gift . Live it, enjoy it, celebrate it, and fulfill it.
People will forget what you said...
People will forget what you did...
But people will never forget how you made them feel... |
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The world around us is one of situational ethics and malleable values. Everything is relative to the moment. The professed standards for today are compromised tomorrow for the sake of expediency. Some people thrive in an environment like that, while others feel as if cast adrift, struggling to stay afloat by clinging to a few straws of consistency. Some of us find those straws in a MASTER-slave relationship.
An M/s lifestyle is one of absolutes. One's role in life is precisely defined. Obligations and privileges are spelled out in unambiguous terms. Two people enter into a partnership where one will take the lead, and the other will follow in support. There are no vacations, no time outs, no reversal of positions. Laws and rights are irrelevant; no outside agency dictates how they will live. The structure of their lives together is based on the trust, and faith, each one has in the other.
A MASTER leads. Not just when it's easy or fun. There are no breaks because he is tired. There are no open and closing times; it is a 24 hour per day occupation. He answers her questions, every one, every time. She will never hear the words "I don't care" because he doesn't have that option. He will have an answer to everything, even if it's no better than "I have to think about it". If she has a problem and asks him what to do, it becomes his problem. He does not pick and choose the ways he will be her MASTER; it is all or nothing.
A submissive follows and supports. He is her MASTER because she trusts his judgment. She has a deep abiding faith in his leadership, a faith never shaken by the inevitable mistakes he makes, for she knows he is always motivated out of concern for her. She knows there must come a time in any disagreement when his word will be final. For the sake of harmony and peace in the home, someone must yield, and she will be the one. It is her task to build that place of refuge for the two of them, the island of quiet free from strife. Through her obedience to his ultimate authority, through her love and devotion to the man she calls MASTER, she creates that oasis where he can go to relax and be himself, with her at his side.
He is the rock of stability she depends on. Her security comes from the certainty he will always be there no matter what happens. She sees the love, the desire, the need to own in his eyes, all telling her how important and valuable she is to him. He is her absolute, the one facet of her life that she can count on to be there when she needs him.
And he will be there, for she is the treasure of his life. She gives meaning to everything he does, be it providing for her, guiding her through life's rocky moments, or just spending intimate moments together. She is the half which completes the whole. Without her he has no purpose, no home, no future. She is his absolute, the one person he can trust to reveal his innermost self, the one he knows he owns, he controls, the one who cannot leave him.
By any definition those in an M/s relationship are extremists. They attempt, and succeed, at what most would consider an impossible undertaking. A timid cautious approach with halfway measures won't work. Success or failure hinges on the absolutes of keeping commitments, and mindsets, every minute of the day, in every way. Debates about whether she should or should not submit to certain types of orders are counterproductive. Her focus is not on judging the merits of what he asks, but rather how best to accomplish what he seeks. She must use her skills and natural talent to understand his mind, how he thinks, what motivates him when he demands. She looks not only at the letter of his law, but the spirit behind it.
His objective is not to lose sight of her as someone with her own personality and opinions. His job is not to stifle her but encourage her to blossom within the boundaries he draws around her. He doesn't take away her freedom, he gives her the protected secure space to grow, free of outside distractions. He cherishes the person inside her, using his power to command to draw that inner personality out, to break through the inhibitions and fears that hold her back. He does not use that power in a frivolous manner but with careful consideration. Were he to do otherwise her faith in him would be destroyed, and he would have no one to blame but himself.
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My Personality Test Results.
Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiver (ENFP) personality commonly referred to as "The Social Philosopher" .
ENFP General
You believe life is abundant, love is plentiful, and creativity is always within your grasp. If God combined the bouncing energy of a cocker spaniel with the enthusiasm of a couple on their honeymoon, God would still be only halfway to duplicating your insatiable zest for life.
ENFP when in love
“Puppy love” is a good term for describing your take on romance: fun, frisky, playful, cuddly, and young at heart. No matter what your age or how many times your heart has been broken, you are an eternal optimist when it comes to love. You are not someone who proceeds cautiously when you meet someone you find attractive. You are likely to fall passionately in love - or at least lust - quickly, spontaneously, and with total abandon. Holding something back for later is a concept you can’t quite grasp, especially when it comes to the joy of creating a new and exciting relationship. Yes, COMMITMENT can scare you. That one word may explain why you are still single at thirty, forty, fifty, or beyond. But you love, absolutely love, the concept of intimacy, sharing, and relationships. If only you could find that special one, you would be set for life.
ENFP where to meet
Where can you meet a Social Philosopher? Social Philosophers enjoy stimulating conversation and interesting people, and, like the Idealistic Philosopher and Mystic Writer, favor activities that revolve around psychology, philosophy, the arts, and helping others. Unlike Idealistic Philosophers and Mystic Writers, Social Philosophers seize every opportunity for social contact. They love the spotlight and are known to be excellent teachers and public speakers. Social Philosophers also routinely attend art gallery openings, wine tastings, fund-raisers, concerts, lectures, and plays. They may also be members of The Single Gourmet - a dining club for singles with sophisticated tastes. l Philosopher" . |
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This is not how I feel right now personally, but I ran across this poem and thought it was worth putting it in here for you to read it too.
It's written by a lady who's husband died.
suzanne
My heart has rooms that sigh with dust
And ashes in the hearth.
They must be cleaned and blown away
By daylight's breath.
But I cannot essay the task,
For even dust to me is dear;
For dust and ashes still recall,
My love was here
"I know not how to say Farewell,
When Farewell is the word
That stays alone for me to say
Or will be heard.
But I cannot speak out that word
Or ever let my loved one go
How can I bear it that these rooms
Are empty so?
"I sit among the dust and hope
That dust will cover me.
I stir the ashes in the hearth,
Though cold they be.
I cannot bear to close the door,
To seal my loneliness away
While dust and ashes yet remain
Of my love's day."
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Hello All,
As a submissive woman I indeed am one who will follow my man on his path when I have one.
The key to this success is to not accept any less than the right man for me.
In this notion I believe there is only one man who I reflect enough in my life that he can be my One who makes me complete, happy, healthy, motivated, and whole.
In my hearts desire this is the approach I seek in the right man.
It seems I have been looking for this in men that don't belong to me.
That's why I'm still single.
It's not that the men in my life have not felt this, or that some still do.
It's not that I too have had glimpses of feeling this way about someone.
It's that it was close, but no cigar.
It's that they were not the Master of my heart and the differences between us were toxic.
I have Faith in that which is unseen that indeed one day my one will look at me from this perspective.
As long as I have faith and hope enough in this notion to wait for him that hold my heart in honor that I can be myself enough with to reflect him in all I do I have comfort he'll come when the time is right.
I'm enjoying my path home and have more love and loved ones that enable and help me to know the journey is also a gift.
I'm in no hurry to reach my destination; my one will wrap his loving hand around my heart when it's time.
Keith Urban
Making Memories Of Us
Album: Days Go By: Anthology
I'm gonna be here for you baby
I'll be a man of my word
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard
I wanna sleep with you forever
And I wanna die in your arms
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us
I wanna honor your mother
I wanna learn from your pa
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw
I wanna stand out in a crowd for you
A man among men
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us
We'll follow the rainbow
Wherever the four winds blow
And there'll be a new day
Comin' your way
I'm gonna be here for you from now on
This you know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
And I'm gonna make you a promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us
I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll win your trust making memories of us
When my One stands before me with his hand on my heart I will know him.
This is the song that would explain my journey that brings me home, and what I'll feel like once my trip abroad is over.
RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS
"Bless The Broken Road"
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.
I indeed know in my heart I'm on my way home.
The journey has included many mountains to climb.
In this blessed but hard path I have become strong enough to have an athletic heart & spirit.
I have heart muscles like Lou Ferrigno (The incredible hulk) that are strongly developed and healthy.
The paths up hill, or down, rock climbing up or falling off cliffs, and even walking on level grade are the training God has given me as valuable lessons that have prepared me for the day my One opens the door of my hearts home.
When I stand before him and know it's him before me this will be when my journey as one person ends and becomes a part of him as it should be.
We will be together in a much stronger uniting of the two into the one supreme being that will indeed bring me home to stay.
All I have to say is I thank God for such an incredible journey so far.
I am indeed a lucky girl,
suzanne
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February Babies.
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest An d loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift |
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This poem is my favorite reminder of the no pain, no gain concept.
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several
hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.
Then it seemed to stop making any progress.
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it
could, and it could go no further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped off
the remaining bit of the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had
a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because
he expected that, at any moment, the wings would
enlarge and expand to be able to support the
body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent
the rest of its life crawling around with a
swollen body and shriveled wings.
It never was able to fly. What the man, in his
kindness and haste, did not understand was that the
restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the
butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's
way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly
into its wings so that it would be ready for flight
once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in
our lives. If God allowed us to go through our
lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us.
We would not be as strong as what we could have
been. We could never fly!
Remember when adversity and challenge's come. When you wish you didn't have to work through something to avoid the pain of growing, and rising above, it leaves you with broken wings that can't fly in the end. The most painful things that ever happened in your life, not only did you survive, but most of them you rose above. When you suffer, keep struggling to break free of the cocoon that's binding you. Remember to keep struggling till you break free and you too will learn to take wing & fly.
Suzanne
I asked for Strength.........
And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom.........
And God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity.........
And God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage.........
And God gave me Danger to overcome.
I asked for Love.........
And God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors.........
And God gave me Opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted........
I received everything I needed!
May your path be bright and full of light
everywhere you go. And, I pray your feet
will never stumble out of God's plan.
May the desires of your heart come true,
and may you experience Peace in everything you do.
May Goodness, Kindness, and Mercy
come your way.
And, may you gain Wisdom and grow in the Divine everyday
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Looking For Good Dominants
I would suggest if indeed a Dom was a true Dominant he would have been disciplined in following the commitments he made willingly by his own choice to make those certain commitments. He also should keep his contracts and his word at least most of the time.
When any Dom constantly gives his word of his own choosing, not someones prompting, that if indeed he can not follow his own path he laid down for himself, this is not a Dom that deserves trust or respect in his leadership abilities. If a Dom wants respect he gets that by being respectful, not by demanding it with intimidation or punishment unless you pretend he has integrity he does not. His failures affecting your ability to respect his word are created by him. He needs to be the one held accountable for the energy he creates not the sub following his lead in my opinion. If you are a real Master you lead a path of stability and integrity. Not one of lip service and abuse.
If he can't follow his self ordained path and leads submissives off cliffs why would a sub be required to to follow blindly at all..? I say the posers do this because a wanna be, predator, or poser Dom who does not have his act together has to convince you you are screwed up so you stay off balance enough to not see through the veil covering the lack of leadership in the Doms own path.
When this person asks how you feel about the neglectful behavior and then punishes you with a knee jerk reaction for your being disappointed in him or following his recommendations or orders what is that? This Dom did not exhibit self control, yet wants the sub to respect him enough that she thinks not only does he have self control, but enough to control her to. Give me a break will ya? This is not a TRULY HEALTHY MINDED DOM WOULD BE DOING!
A goos sub mirrors her Dom. If that Dom has not lead an honorable path with discipline and integrity as a centering force the rest can not stand on a weak foundation. To hold me to higher standards than he exhibits in his life is a preposterous notion.
I will not ever accept punishments for the Doms mistakes without knowing that affects my trust and respect.
In all my point is a good sub reflects her Master, if that reflection is muddled and blurry the leadership can not have clarity. Why should a sub be expected to do anything but follow her Master's example? That's what this is supposed to do is follow his lead.
Seek Masters or Dominants who's words match their actions. Find one who holds the same opinion of integrity and honor as you want to follow. Listen to your inner voice and don't be afraid to cut ties with those that make red flags pop up. They pop up for a reason usually. Take your own advice you'll be happier.
No one will ever be perfect or always do the right thing. Your perspective is never exactly the same as another. Just be sure what they say matches what they do as the first foundation of friendship established. Then go from there to decide if you're willing to follow his path. Not when you doubt it's right for you or just hope it can be the right one. |
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Hi All,
I came across this in my readings today. It rang true in my ears overall. I thought it may be something I could share. I agree this is a dynamic I seek for myself one day.
Suzanne
On Love, and D/s
- ©2000, by Lord HamiltonZ
(NOTE: This was originally posted to the Loving Dominants Association mail list in response to several posts by submissives complaining about the fact that if Dominants "fell in love" with them, the Dominants seemed to stop _being_ Dominant. There are a
few grammatical and spelling corrections made here from the original post.)
There seems to be a feeling by some, that "love" lessens Dominance. That tenderness equates somehow with a lessened sense of "Mastery". Rubbish. Dominance and submission are emotional states, constantly in flux within a relationship. They may be aided by physical play such as S/M or B&D. But I need never lift a hand to be Dominant. I am Dominant and always will be, whether I take flogger to you or not. And you need never take a spanking or be tied to be submissive. Taking a caning or being used by Me for My pleasure is not what makes you a submissive.
My Dominance comes from My heart. Just as My love does. Do not confuse tenderness with weakness, and strictness with Dominance. I can be as soft and tender as a teddy bear and Dominate you. It is who I am. You follow Me because it is your heart's path to do so. It is, perhaps, your thought that a Dominant somehow needs to maintain their position, that they must "make" their submissives.. submit. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I don't have to do anything to make you submit. If I have to make you do it, whether by use of coercion, pain, strength, blackmail, you are not submitting, you are not consenting. I am forcing.
There is a huge difference between a scene such as a mock rape or kidnapping, and living in a power exchange. Within the context of a scene I may threaten, cajole, use force, whatever... But in My relationship, I will not "make" you do anything. I will not punish with anything more than disappointment and something to make you regard your error, perhaps a writing assignment or an unpleasant household chore. You submit to My will and My direction. I do not force you to follow.
Consent. You consent to our relationship. You submit to My will. If you do not, then perhaps it is best for you to seek someone who will play the game you seek. I don't play emotional games in My relationship. I expect submission. Submission does not mean blind obedience. Submission does not mean becoming a doormat. Submission means that you turn your will over to Me. My decisions are your law. That doesn't mean you can't argue, because I have charged you with looking after My best interests. You are charged with taking care of Me, meeting My needs. If I do something that you feel is against My best interest, it is your duty to ME to point that out. And My duty to you to listen. And then decide what to do. And once I make that decision it is your duty to try to make it come out right.
I have a responsibility to you as well. You have turned your will over to Me. I am responsible to meet your needs, to care for you. To nourish, to nurture, to help you grow stronger, wiser. So you in turn can care for Me better, so I can care for you better. We are not here to play emotional games with each other. If you have needs, communicate them clearly, honestly and directly. I am not a mind reader. Do not expect Me to meet them if you do not communicate them. I will, by default do as "I" need to do. And if that is to be gentle, kind, loving, you have agreed to that by submitting to Me.
There seems to be some confusion also, between discipline, and punishment. Discipline is action taken to correct an unwanted behavior, to correct a problem. If I can correct that problem with a word, or a look, I "have" disciplined you. Do not equate punishment with discipline. I may punish you within the context of a scene, the strict Schoolmaster spanking the naughty student, the Prison Guard beating an unruly prisoner, the Sadist tormenting a victim... But I will discipline you within our relationship as befits the offense.
Do not act out trying to goad Me into sternness, into strictness, into punishing you. If you are doing so, you are topping from the bottom. You are being deceitful in that you are not communicating your needs to Me honestly, directly or clearly. You are not going to get sternness, you will get anger. You won't get strictness, nor punishment, you will get disappointment and displeasure. You will not get discipline, you will get dismissed.
Think on these words, and use of them what you will. The path of My heart is not the path of all others. As always, YMMV.
LordHamiltonZ
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