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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

I am looking for a 24/7 owner. I thrive in deep power exchange relationships. I am not afrai
Female Slave, 43,  Near Baltimore, Maryland US

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 Female Slave

 Near Baltimore 


 Willing to Relocate

 5' 3"

 240 lbs





Actively Seeking:

Dominant Male

Dom/Domme Couples

I am looking for a 24/7 owner.

I thrive in deep power exchange relationships.

I am not afraid of love and ripe to surrender fully.

I am gregarious, intelligent, playful and honest although many of my happiest moments were spent silent and crawling.


I strive to always be a good girl.

I am hard to get but easy to keep.

I am a playful gamer with a strange obsession for the muppets and prog metal.

I enjoy debate, psychology and geekery.

I have a dog but no children. Caring for my dog is a commitment that I can not break.

I am currently in Pennsylvania but would love to return to California or other coastal area. 

My tendency is toward monogamy but I am poly friendly. I respect honest openness over cheating though so hidden relationships won't work with me.

I have some body limitations due to nerve damage in my lower spine and pelvis but i am very good at communicating which tends to make up for it. It is slowly getting better over time but there might be another surgery in my future that could take me out of commission for a few weeks.


I think that's enough I statements for one profile!


To be a good match for me you should be in control of your own life, intelligent and enjoy deep connections more than one night stands.


I apologize in advance but I cannot respond to everyone. The stress of back and forth conversations with non-matches is too much for me at the moment. Please do not take it personally.



Keywords that entice me:


pet, property, ownership, 24/7, cage, box, nonconsent, use, collar, leash, dehumanization, humiliation, control, micromanage, plump, bbw, fat, bimbo, dollification, crawling, bondage, obedient, surrender, love

Journal Entries:
6/7/2017 10:21:02 AM
 The Zen of Surrender

 Many talk about the spiritual side of BDSM activities connected to endorphin rushes and the intensity of scenes. For me the spiritual side of bdsm is more long term and closely connected to the meditative practices of eastern monks and the mindfulness community. In mindfulness meditation the ultimate goal is to be present in the moment allowing thoughts and feelings to wander in and through without taking over. A practiced person can learn to feel their connection to the earth and the collective spirit by becoming one with "the world" rather than a separate independent being. It is like the boundaries disappear and you become a conscious manifestation of everything around you.

 Surrendering in trust can have similar feelings but one step removed. Rather than being your own manifestation of spirit, you are an extension of HIS(or her) physical form. He decides when you move, what you do, and what you experience. Thoughts and feelings of your own happen, but wash through like a wave. It can be an amazing feeling. In this way my Owner becomes a god and i become a pure manifestation through his power.

 This level of power exchange can be quite daunting but ultimately beautiful.

6/6/2017 10:44:50 AM

6/4/2017 11:34:41 AM
 Thank you to everyone who has asked how I am doing. I apologize if you didn't get a personal reply. I have been checking My health is improving and I've been much more mobile over the past few weeks as I get my body moving again. I'll never be a work horse but even at my best that was never my strong suit. Some people are born good at physical work and others are better suited to the cerebral side of life. I'm clearly the latter. 

 One of the things that I have been forced to realize is that I have had horrible taste in partners. It has always been easier for me to give then to receive so having takers in my life feels more comfortable to me. The result has been ending up in relationships that suck me dry financially, mentally and physically. It also means that when times are hard, no one is there for me. Waking up in the hospital alone 3 times in the last months made that point excruciatingly clear.

 My identification as property makes it hard for me to make sure that my basic needs are taken care of. I sacrifice more than I have to give and for a woman who gives everything you can imagine how disastrous that can be!

 I need to find a place for me and my beloved dog to go VERY soon. She has been living with dog sitters for the last few months and its not fair to keep moving her around. Many people have suggested that I should get rid of her but when i adopted her, I promised to care for her for life and I my word means everything to me. She also is first creature to teach me what unconditional love looks like. No matter what happens she looks at me with love and acceptance. There is a reason why therapy animals are so effective. They are a gateway to connection for people who can not tolerate that in humans yet. There has been so much pain in my life over the past few years that I really needed that from her and will cherish her forever for keeping me alive when I wasn't quite sure that I would make it.

 Its going to take time for me to heal emotionally and physically but I'm not afraid of putting that work in. I need to accept my gifts and limitations and spend time learning what I am capable of right now and going forward. I do this both for me AND for my future owner. 

5/2/2017 9:22:21 AM
 My pain level has been up and down over the past few days but it is improving. What i am suffering from is called pudendal neuralgia. it causes the nerves in my pelvis and sacrum to act out in ways that make some simple things near impossible. There is the possibility that they will be burned in the future depending on what my doctor thinks after this round of nerve blocks. It does affect my ability to have intercourse without pain and to be struck in the buttocks area. Where most people have meaty parts that are the least painful to strike, on my body nerve endings are very close to the surface and crisscross with other nerves.

 I don't know what that will mean long term but it is unlikely that i will ever be able to belong to someone whose top kinks include impact play or manual labor. My mouth and upper body are mostly fine so there are always ways to be pleasing.

 I've also been getting many angry replies if i dont respond (or don't respond fast enough). The horror stories off of this site are growing at an alarming rate but that doesn't mean that every person who doesn't connect with you is automatically "a fake". Beyond the cyber crowd and newly exploring there are also many varieties of lifestyles included on this site. Imagine walking into a bar. Not everyone in that room is going to be a match for you. Some people might think they are but as you get closer you realize that the differences are greater than you imagined. It takes a lot of weeding and caution to find a good match on a place like this but it is possible. I have had several relationships, friendships and even a marriage from this site. They might not have been the lifetime Owner that i need but they were a part of the journey.

4/30/2017 5:45:52 AM
Just got back from a nerve block to try and address my pain issues. The pain is unbearable right now. I did pick up my dog and bring her closer to me but the downside is that now I need to find a place for us to stay asap which is tough to do while undergoing these tricky treatments. I'll likely be responding sporadically for a while as I am able.

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