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It's an odd world now where 'sexual identity' replaces actual identity, where safe spaces repl
mollifyher
Male Dominant, 39,  Manassas, VA, Virginia US

Link to this profile: https://www.collarspace.com/mollifyher

 

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StraightFemale Submissive
Age: 31, Height: 5ft 6in (168 cm)
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
Last on 7/20/14 at 1:48 PM

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 mollifyher

 Dominant Male

 Manassas, VA 

 Virginia

 Willing to Relocate

 5' 11"

 170 lbs

 39

 Caucasian

 07/18/10

 

Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

It's an odd world now where "sexual identity" replaces actual identity, where safe spaces replace real friendships, and where "friending" someone means trying to lie to them about how good your life is while expecting them to "like" everything you do but have no clue about who you are at the core. In fact, better not to have core beliefs, those are the things that create conflicts, right? Best to just go with the flow, post puppies, politically correct sparkle gifs that won't offend anyone and collect "likes" until you die. A process that has as it's main goal avoiding judgment.




I've been pondering this possibility for awhile now, and if I may just think out loud for a moment in broad non-PC generalizations: I think that women need to be judged, well men too, but differently. Traditionally men compete in systems that determine well defined winners, losers and hierarchy. Women, however, compete on the nebulous and moody battlefield of relationships, hidden standards, ulterior motives and ill-defined success or failure. In a way, life on this shifting sand can never be free of anxiety, because it is free of real judgment -- and recent cultural attempts to ban judgment from the social discourse are doomed to fail as it is an impossible task that creates increasing sensitivity and an infinite space between the person and the continuously moving goal-posts. Thus women turn on each other in a battle of who gets the most emotional capital. (Such as attacks on Emma Watson's feminism when she's "not feminist enough" and leading her to depression.)




Honestly I think the removal of standards is emotional abuse. Women now use the same eternal knit-picking once used to control men, to control each other.




I'm curious to hear anyone else's thoughts, but I wonder if there isn't a freedom from all that in a caring relationship with a dominant. If he is emotionally stable, then he will provide an anchor for her anxiety .. perpetual love, unmoving standards, clear understanding of when she has pleased or displeased him, limited consequences and immediate forgiveness after the price is paid.




It would be impossible to live a life without anxiety, and I think one becomes somewhat psychotic by trying .. but it is possible to direct that anxiety and control it within a loving and predictable little world.




What do you think?




 


 




A METAPHOR


 




(A sub who is afraid of her own unconscious. - sexuality without sex in the story)


 


-- Athena's Armor --




She stands tall, bravely trying to fill the whole of her over-sized armor, trying to be larger and stronger. Her sword is forward and battle ready, but yet she doesn't feel ready for battle. Surrounded by so many bigger things, scary things, things that frighten and threaten. What horrors may come if her guard lowers? Facing the light, she is ready for any danger that may leap at her from the blinding sharp sun. She knows this battlefield, but feels tired and worn, yet she dare not collapse, fearing even to move. The danger is real, and staying alert is survival. Desperate for encouragement, she tells herself she is prepared, and yet...


Her sword, her armor and her eyes face only forward, always forward, not stabbing, protecting or looking into the shadows, the darkness, the frightening unknown, behind. She has looked as far as the corner of her eye, but no farther, never farther. It hurts, almost a physical pain, just the existence of that dark unknown. She's scared even by the thought of shadow monsters ... the unseen, the unknowable, the dangers she can pretend are not there. It is much safer not to see. A shiver runs straight through her, rattling the armor around her fragile little body hidden in its thick shell.


Then, a soft breath at the back of her neck, she braces herself, pinching her eyes tightly shut. But there is no attack, only a soft low whisper she feels against her ear, ever so close to her face. He says only, "trust me." It felt like stepping into a warm bath to wash away a bone-deep cold she never realized she felt. Not daring to turn, not daring to open her eyes, but calmer now, she feels fingers finding the buckles of each piece of protective metal, releasing them effortlessly and sending each plate of safety clattering to the ground. How naked she feels, without her steel shell to keep the world away.


The hairs on her arm feel it first, a large hand sliding out to find her sword and release it from her grip. Panic overcomes her and she tries to strike, but the soft grip turns solid and wraps her sword arm around her in a vice. Uncomfortable, struggling uselessly against a much greater strength she hears the voice again, "obey me." She knows what this means, and freezes.


The sword is pulled from her hand and falls to the ground. From the shadows behind her he comes forward to stand in the light, silhouetted in the the bright, incomprehensible light ... and speaks. "I'll watch the monsters in the shadows, you only need to watch me." So, like wax melting under the heat of the sun, she melts to the ground, to her knees, to her face, and hugs his feet.


 


 


--------


So, if you liked my story tell me ... at the end, what was Athena's real armor?


 


 





 


 


I don't just want to be trusted with your body, I want to be trusted with your YOU.

Journal Entries:
1/4/2017 5:29:08 PM
Since I just changed it up today .. my previous profile:

You don't have anything so dark or unusual that it will scare me, or make me see you as anything other than just a person. Nothing catches me off guard. Nothing makes me lose my cool. Nothing strikes me as crazy -- I always seek to understand a sub better than she understands herself and to help guide her toward whatever contentment or fulfillment she desires.  


I know how structure can be used to make you feel safe, how seeing you've done a good job can create the best kind of pride and I know how relieved you can feel when a punishment is the last thing you ever have to hear about some big screw-up.

 
Dominance is NOT something carved in stone or trapped in amber - I'm a living creature, just as you should be, and we should influence each other's desires. If you're more interested in the relationship than just the sex, then you will naturally pull to the surface of my personality whatever kind of dom you need.  The flow of our unique interaction would decide whether D/s takes over our lives, or becomes small and virtually unnoticed.

 
One last thing about me - Hedonism within boundaries is fine, but I believe a greater pleasure is found in commitment, than a compulsive need to have it all. I have a Master's degree and I'm well educated in everything from Postmodern linguistic deconstructionism, to objectivist epistemology -- from Christianity to Hindu traditions and likely anything else that comes to your mind in the fields of psychology or philosophy.  I'm always interested in debating any challenges or new ideas you may have. Also, God is important in my life and although I have my beliefs don't worry, I won't attack you with them.

6/23/2016 5:40:33 PM
Now this is an interesting discussion. BDSM, legal concerns and Kermit the Frog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nixhBx9Eg-k

4/18/2013 6:01:41 AM

There is creative dominance, like a child building a tower out of blocks, and destructive dominance, like the child who kicks over someone's tower. Everything that is really human, even the experiences of pain, are to help guide us toward our creative possibilities ... if we lived in a world of people who only kicked over the blocks, no work would get done and we would all starve.

Punishment should be constructive; it is positive when it's creative. See, the world is bounded, and living within those laws of both man and God you learn you can't jump without gravity enforcing the rules. Punishment is good when it essentially mediates a damaging experience. Essentially I swat her hand because that pain is less than the pain of touching a hot burner.  Punishment should be to AVOID injury by controlling the consequences of self-destructive behavior so that they hurt, but do not injure


3/4/2012 5:26:46 PM

It's part of the beauty of D/s relationships that I think we can dispense with the idea that love should be without expectations and contracts just because it's love. I'm sorry, but the only unconditional love should be from parent to child and/or from God assuming one is religious. In other relationships there are boundaries, expectations, hard limits and, most importantly, REASON. And hopefully reason based on personal authenticity.


8/12/2011 6:25:33 PM

Ok, this is gonna be harsh, but a dom who just wants obedience and respect GIVEN to him from thin air, who isn't willing to EARN someone's submission - is just about the same as these idiot London rioters.

Virtue Ethics my friend ... the point isn't "thou shalt not steal", the POINT is to NOT WANT WHAT YOU HAVEN'T EARNED ...

Or, really, speaking to this mentality and to all thieves, leaches and bums: you go ahead and beat that video game using cheat codes and pretend winning means an effin' thing. That's not success, it's not even entertainment, it's a distraction from realizing you're pathetic and incompetent.

No dude, if it's unearned, then you're still just a loser with delusions of grandeur.



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