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I officially edited this on 7/26/2017. First, for those that are left and don't have me on blo
Male Submissive, 45,  Maryland US

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ayesha09 - View Full Profile   View All Photos

StraightFemale Dominant
Age: 25, Height: 5ft 6in (168 cm), Weight: 99 lbs.
Location: California
Last on 10/30/13 at 8:32 PM
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StraightFemale Dominant
Age: 32, Height: Under 5ft (152 cm), Weight: 128 lbs.
Location: Makati, Philippines
Last on 9/20/17 at 4:25 AM







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I officially edited this on 7/26/2017. First, for those that are left and don't have me on block, I thank you. For those that do? Maybe if you read through this you'll learn more about what a sub really is. Either way, I won't be a little bitch and create a new profile and fake my way through it. What you see is what you get.

So here's the real truth as to why I'm a sub and what it really means to be one. Truthfully, for a long time I didn't understand my feelings, and ran from it. I thought it was abnormal as hell. Not so much anymore. I'm at peace with all of it, and also understand where it manifested itself. At this point it's vital to accept it as part of my persona and live it responsibly.

In a nutshell, it all had roots from my early teen years. I was sent to a private Catholic school, and it was a creepy place. It was situated in this old house, and looked like this scary evil estate. Upon reflection, the entire culture of the place was pure D/s, and admittedly it got to me.

Basically speaking, the school had a big brother/little brother fraternity culture. The seniors were high in status, the freshman the lowest. They had harsh and draconian rules, but only enforced them on the weakest students. The rich and influential kids? Carte blanche. I found myself on the receiving end of their harsh discipline, yet wasn't a particularly bad kid. They just saw me as a target and really were tough. The school's disciplinarian was actually a guy, and he was extremely sadistic. He would use a lot of intimidation and physical stuff to put fear and compliance in you. It was kind of abusive to be honest with you.

But there was another dynamic that added fuel to the fire. The head of the school was a little bit weird. He established this pecking order, and allowed the seniors to really dominate the freshman, up to, and including an actual organized "initiation" practice that amounted to a full fledged hazing. At the time I was a fighter type of personality, and would stand up for myself. That put a huge target on my back as one of the ones they really wanted to "get". The final piece was a senior girl, who was quite attractive, but definitely played full contact. She was really after me because I once mocked the cheerleaders, which she was the captain of. I received multiple warnings from upper classmen, and even some in administration that I needed to back off. The girl was one of the untouchables, and she did not suffer fools.

So in the lead up to the initiation, I became increasingly worried. I would see her around the school, and if looks could kill, I would have been dead long ago. She was definitely out for blood, yet for reasons I didn't understand, I liked it. And when initiation came, oh yeah, so did she. Blindfolds, stress tests, got smacked around real bad. And at the time I had no understanding why, but I found myself loving all of it.

In the end, we bonded and became friendly. She liked me, and I liked her, and she turned out to be a very nice person. But it was clear she was a Domme. Just being near her always put me on edge in a good way, I felt her presence. She just had it, no other way to describe it. That's the secret to real Dommes I've learned. It's not about BDSM, it's an inner spirit, a presence that a woman like that has. You just feel it, and know it. In her case I do not know if she had a freaky side, but I do know now that my submissive feelings with her were likely equal in her dominant feelings for me. It just was there, you couldn't see it, you just felt it. She had it, I had it, and in the end it was all good.

That's what I'm ultimately seeking. The draconian Catholic school experiences added the D/s element to me, but ultimately I seek that special woman that has that "it" factor. That presence that you just feel. This is why I've been really hard on the findommes and other oddities on here. I know they don't have what I've described, they just don't.

So my ultimate question now to anyone reading this is: Are you that person? Do you have that presence that can reach into my soul? If you do, then I think the next step is obvious.

Journal Entries:
9/11/2017 1:05:51 PM
Look at this dumbass dominapetkova:

NO Males !!! I am not interested in males subs,slaves etc... GET OVER !!! If you dare to message me I will just delete your message

Well then how about adjusting your settings to something other than female, straight, dominant. Don't blame us guys for messaging if you're going to be computer illiterate

9/11/2017 5:50:15 AM
I'm in the mood to be controversial today, so I thought I'd share a saying I learned from my Father many moons ago.

Oh, and of course once I do it, the Dommes will all go apeshit over it. Meyah! Meyah! Send me a tribute!! Meyah!! Send it on Circlepay, Loser!, and sends me a picture with a middle finger. LMAO!!! Hotheads! Loosen up for God's sake before you have a coronary.

So here it is:

"If it has tits or an engine, you'll have problems"

HA HA!!!

9/10/2017 6:10:56 AM
Somewhat perplexed at all the hate from some Dommes. From the F-OFFs! to the LOSER!!! and BURN IN HELLs!!, my head is spinning.

It really is shortsighted. I think you should open your minds more to a diverse group of subs, like me. Trust me, I'm a real sweetie.

9/9/2017 5:08:25 PM
Wanted to pass along a great idea that a Domme mentioned to me. I think it's fair and even me being anti findom can support. Blocking is no charge, but unblocking is a $50 fee. 

So I'll go along with that for anyone that likes the idea. Just message me that you're blocking and leave an Email for the fee. That's a great idea and very fair I think

8/31/2017 6:09:15 AM
Here are some tips on spotting a fake Domme. I found one on here recently that, on the periphery, looked pretty good. But then I noticed the person changing their location between New Jersey and Iowa. That alone should be enough. Iowa? I don't believe that for a second.

But I'm more sophisticated than that. Not only was the person not from Iowa? Whoever they are, I know they're in the UK somewhere. I never spoke with her, but still knew. How? Easy. Her pics told the story. One of them showed her in a room with a radiator on the wall. The radiator was the giveaway. I know from experience that the style of radiator is one that is prevalent in the U.K. You won't see that model here in the States.

So look at the pics carefully everyone. They tell a story

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