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Hello All, I go by the name of Macey.  I am shy and quiet and tend to keep to myself. I
Macey1262
Female Submissive, 25,  Wyoming US

Link to this profile: https://www.collarspace.com/Macey1262

 

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 Macey1262

 Submissive Female

 Wyoming

 5' 5"

 165 lbs

 25

 Bisexual

 Caucasian

 01/14/13

 09/23/17

Actively Seeking:

Dominant Male

Friends Only

Hello All,


I go by the name of Macey.


 I am shy and quiet and tend to keep to myself. I hold my tongue and am very respectful. I am a submissive with slave tendencies. I always have been. Even as far back as I can remember as a child I loved to always buy things or makes things for other people. Surprise my parents by cleaning my room or the house to see a smile on their faces. I am new to the world of "kink" or "bdsm". Although I have always felt the need to live for another person. I have been in a relationship at all times with someone starting at the age of 14. While the Men in my life have come and gone, the need to be with someone and make him happy has never changed. I have always been what others want. So when you ask me my interests or the things I love or like to do, you will find them very limited. I choose to love and adore the things my Male does. I have a defiant streak in me. This is also something I have had all of my life and I am unsure if that can be changed or if it is something I must live with. I feel very alone in this world. Like there is no Man and or Women who understands what it is like to want to be commanded and abused but loved and owned. I am a masochist as well. Although I don't like seeing others hurt I myself believe I deserve it. I have to admit I am a bit lost in the world. As well as trying to find my place in this lifestyle or attempting to hide my true self and live in the vanilla world. Words of guidance and ideas are always more then welcome and greatly appreciated.


Forever submissive,


Macey Xo

Journal Entries:
9/8/2017 11:08:33 AM
I slide the shower door open. I reach my hand in gently and feel the droplets of water splashing against my palm. I slide my robe softly off of my body and let it hit the floor. I then light the candles in the bathroom one by one until the glow is just bright enough and just dark enough that it creates a heavenly yet seductive balance. I walk back over to the shower and dump salts in that quickly make the room fill with the scent of regret and envy. I inhale deeply as I step into the shower. I step directly under the flow of the shower head allowing the water to cascade over my entire being. I inhale deeply and shakily exhale and continue to do so many more times. I want a new chance. A new life. A new beginning.. I gently rub my hands over my scars on my chest, stomach, arms and legs. I let the tears quietly slip down my cheeks as I breath in every emotion and thought I can muster. My legs finally weaken and I kneel onto the shower floor. Dripping wet and appreciating this feeling. This cleanse. Something I think my mind, body and soul have been needing for a very long time now..

6/3/2017 12:08:57 PM
I'm numb. Inside and out. It seems to be fairly typical for me anymore. I run my fingers along my stomach and touch the new scar. It's a change.. I whisper to myself. My life seems to be quickly spiraling away from me and all I can do is stand here and watch. Who would have known? Who really could have guessed any of this would be happening? I slide to the floor and pull my knees up to my chest. I want to scream for days but I know nothing will pass my lips. I close my eyes tightly. I inhale and exhale. I have to keep positive. I have to keep myself together. Because honestly if I can't hold myself together.. no one else will..

6/17/2016 10:02:22 AM
I slowly press my hand up against the mirror. I wince as my eyes meet myself in the mirror. Who am I?
I mouth the words over and over again staring at myself. I slowly drop my body to the floor and curl into a ball.
How much longer will I feel this way? How much longer will I feel alone, ashamed, sad. What can I do in this world to help it.. Run away? Hide? Continue to stand up and fight so I can be knocked down to the ground again?
I fight so hard to keep my head above water. To keep people happy and in a good place in their lives.
I am starting to worry though. Maybe by trying to help and do and fix for others all I have simply done is given them a break from reality and lost who I am entirely..

4/3/2016 11:08:04 AM
Everything around me is so dark. So black that when I close my eyes things seem more lit up. I am only human. I am not sure what it is I am feeling anymore. I am not sure which direction I am going in anymore. I just.. I don't know anything anymore. I guess I just want to be forgotten for a while.

4/1/2016 6:37:37 AM
It has been a while since I have done this. So I apologize in advance if my thoughts are rusty. As far back as I can really remember I had ever only truly feared one Man. A Man that I had met in my younger years and very much cared for. I was never sure what it was I liked so much. His heart? His mind? His looks? He was hard on me. Many would say abusive yet to me I always felt like it was something I deserved. That being miserable and hurt was all I was ever going to be good for. That since that was what made him happy then clearly that was simply my purpose.
I searched many years looking for others that made me feel that way. Someone who could take control yet in a way I didn't feel I was useless. I never thought I would find a Man who understood who and what I am.
I recently find myself having met a Man but am not sure what his intentions are. I think I have brought out much Dominance but am afraid maybe I have done to much. Maybe he is to harsh. He seems quick to upset and does not back down. If I am not quick with my answers to his questions when he is angry then he only gets more upset. He sees into me and knows my biggest fears with out the words even slipping from my mouth. He can put me in subspace with a few simple sentences.
What I don't understand and what I am afraid of is how will he know when to far is to far? There is such a thing as to far is there not?


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