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I have been in this dynamic for more years than I care to count, traveled extensively both in
FitDomLooking
Male Dominant, 41,  Ft. smith, Arkansas US

Link to this profile: https://www.collarspace.com/FitDomLooking

 

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Bisexual Female Switch
Age: 67, Height: 5ft 9in (175 cm), Weight: 225 lbs.
Location: Dallas, Texas
Last on 9/15/17 at 12:13 PM

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 FitDomLooking

 Dominant Male

 Ft. smith 

 Arkansas

 5' 10"

 190 lbs

 41

 Caucasian

 01/15/13

 09/19/17

Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

I have been in this dynamic for more years than I care to count, traveled extensively both in the US and abroad. Seen practitioners of this dynamic in all manners of places. Yes it is quite different in different places. As I have told many of you this dynamic can never be static, it really is ever evolving and you must be as well. In my early days everything was very high protocol, kneeling bowing many a long lost ritual, collaring ceremonies were almost holy and very much akin to a marriage.
Not so much any more, In todays fluid realm much of that has been put aside and I find that many of the old ways have been tossed aside for the sake of instant gratification. Now I sound like an old man, let me say this I am in no way critising what this dynamic has become. Many of the old rituals had become tired and in some way a hindrance, let me also say anyone who still practices them good on you, same for anyone who still wants to!
I lived through the times of the fictional tales of Gor books when that became all the rage in this dynamic as well. ah the "heartstone" and all that nonsense I still run into some who use the phrase "kajira" from time to time and I still laugh!
Now we are seeing the "50 shades" folks starting to try and enter this dynamic.
Most Dominants arent wealthy or own a helicopter or chase a would be sub to the far ends of the earth. It just doesnt work that way.
Having said that, if you have posted your test results on your profile, who are you really trying to convince? you or me? Instead say something meaningful that comes from your heart and soul, that tells me much more.
I am as you can tell by now a complicated creature, I enjoy a great many things, perving pics, intelligence, lactation, open communication, otk, control and the list goes on and on, after all these years there is very little I havent seen or experiencd and I for the most part do try and answer all PM's as quickly as my time permits, for the most part I do accept all friend requests and do try and answer any queries you may have.

Journal Entries:
5/15/2017 9:11:49 PM
Thankfully there is enough horseshit on this site I can fertilize my whole garden for the year.  what a bunch of fuck sticks!

4/25/2017 10:18:41 AM
I see in London where the Islamist were found branding white female slaves, some of the journalist seem up in arms over it, while I am not a fan of Islam, got to give it to them for Marking property!

9/5/2016 11:13:18 AM

anonymous asked:
Been reading ur blog. U need to stop calling urself a dom. All this lovey crap makes real doms sick. A sub is not for respecting and loving. A sub is for using and thats what they like. Its fine that u love ur girl, just dont call urself a dom. Real doms show dominance, use there sub and leave her laying like the cunt slut she is. Bein all sweet, and all that does is give her power over u, which makes u not a dom.

lovemysub answered:
Hi there, Anon. I almost didn’t even dignify this with a response, but I think you’ve actually given me a good opportunity to say something that new doms need to know, so kudos to you.

First and foremost, let’s establish something right here and now: You don’t get to tell me what I am, and you are damn sure not the leading authority on what does and does not constitute a dominant. For the record, I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be a dom. I never even thought of myself that way until I met belovedsangi 10 years ago. I always had the characteristics of a dom, sure, but I didn’t ever put that title on myself. That title was given to me by my submissive. SHE is the one who wanted to call me Master, and Sir, and sometimes Daddy. I never told her to do these things. But of course, you probably think I am making my point for you and that if I were a REAL domly dom, I would’ve demanded those things.

And that’s where you have a fundamental issue understanding the meaning of the title. So let me help you with that.

A dom does not demand respect. He conducts himself in such a way as to be worthy of respect.

A dom does not bark commands. His presence is such that he can seduce and command with nothing more than a glance.

A dom does not raise his voice. He is the kind of man who gets what he wants without needing to.

A dom is not a braggart. He is possessed of a calm, quiet confidence that is evident in his demeanor, the way he walks, the tone of his voice, and all other aspects of him.

A dom understands balance. He knows that while a firm hand and discipline are critical in this type of relationship, knowing when to be gentle and understanding is every bit as important.

A dom is a gentleman first and foremost. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he is a fancy man who values the finer things in life, but he does understand manners and protocol. He opens the car door for her. He orders for her if she is having trouble deciding. He treats strangers with courtesy and respect.

A dom is a protector. He makes sure that his submissive feels safe and protected at all times. This means so much more than just telling her you will protect her. A dom shows her. He keeps a hand on her shoulder or on her waist in crowds so she doesn’t get nervous. He sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door so that he is always between his submissive and an intruder. He walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street so that an errant vehicle will hit him before his submissive. If anything or anyone should threaten his submissive, he must be prepared to fight for her with the ferocity of an alpha wolf.

A dom earns her submission. It is not a thing to be demanded, expected, or assumed. And he continues to earn it, each and every day.

A dom values her submission. Fully submitting your will and trusting your body and well-being to someone takes a kind of strength most can’t imagine, and a dom never loses sight of that.

A dom understands that being a dominant is 10% privilege and 90% responsibility. He is literally taking her life into his hands. He is accepting the most sacred and important thing she has to give. He is taking her burdens and bearing them as his own, always, every day.

A dom is consistent. He understands that he can’t just be her protector, lover, confidant, master, etc. when he feels like it. There will be days when a dom is tired. There will be days when he is stressed. There will be days when he is broken. On those days, it is more important than ever for a dom to show his submissive that he is still everything she needs him to be.

So what does it mean, then, to be a dom? I get the feeling that you, anon, would say that it’s all about making her kneel, having your way with her, shouting orders and using her. Helpful hint: Any jackass can buy himself a whip and bark commands. That’s not a dom. Don’t get me wrong, I do absolutely have my way with belovedsangi. I love it when she kneels. I love the kinky, rough, mind-blowing sex we have. I love to dominate her in the bedroom. But for every moment of that, there are a hundred moments of holding her, of talking to her, laughing with her, gaming with her. There are a hundred moments of making her feel safe when she is afraid, giving her confidence when she is unsure, comforting her when she feels troubled. Those are all things that a dominant does too.

I love my submissive more than I love oxygen. I love my submissive with a fire that can never be extinguished. I value her and respect her in every way. I treat her like a queen and fuck her like a slave. These things don’t make me weak. They don’t make me less of a dominant. These things make me stronger than you can possibly imagine. There is nothing quite so formidable as a dominant who has found the perfect submissive to fuel his fire. Never will you see anyone love so strongly or fight so fiercely.

Bottom line, Anon, is this: you sound like a boy playing at being a man. You decided one day that you were sick of women having willpower and a voice of their own, so you decided to call yourself a dominant and seek out some weak-willed submissive who wouldn’t talk back to you or stick up for herself. You are not a dom. You are a jackass with a whip. Classic case of toodomforyou.

toodomforyou is on Tumblr and is a blog about all of the terrible Dominants out there that give Dom/mes everywhere a bad name


6/19/2016 11:08:26 AM
if like me you are into ANR here is some info on youtube that you may want to look into

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TS-BCz5fllI

3/2/2016 7:59:14 AM

Two Interesting Facts about Dopa

If you are talented Dom and bring a consenting but nervous sub into your dungeon for the first time to play and give your first couple orders in your own tailored Dom persona for them to pleasure you in some way, you shouldn’t be surprised to see that slight hidden smile and a glimmer of “oooh kinky” in her eyes. It may sound very fun and naughty to your sub and hopefully your sub is going to have fun doing it, but this isn’t really the reaction you are looking for several scenes from now. You want no smile and the glimmer should be that of uncontrolable excitment to please you. What you want is to give an order to pleasure you and have your sub feel the overwhelming pleasure of being rewarded so much so that they nearly have an orgasim. This is accomplished by training your sub correctly and the effect is extraordinary bursts of pleasurable relieving Dopamine in their brains.

Dopamine is released in any response that you have learned as a reward and it tells your brain that whatever you are doing is great… do it more! Things that are naturally pleasurable such as intercourse or drugs are going to automatically train your brain to like it, however, you can “train” in other aspects through classical conditioning and a host of other psychological processes. The most famous example would be Pavolov’s dogs who were trained to salivate at the sound of a bell by always ringing the bell just before the dogs would receive food. Even if the food was removed from the process, the dogs would still salivate to the sound of a bell.

Always associate a sub pleasuring you with positive reinforcement. Respond with praise, or body language. Associate “good sub” with pleasuring you correctly. Anytime you do something unpleasurable to a sub in response to something your sub has done correctly you will hinder the dopamine process. There are two very interesting and counterintuitive ideas that are relevant to your sub training.

First, in a situation where you learn that you will be receiving a reward in the very near future, your dopamine levels will rise drastically at the time you learn that you will be receiving the reward. They will rise and then they will fall. In many cases, dopamine will have tapered off or even be gone by the time you receive your reward! We do not get a dopamine response from the moment of reward, but from the moment we learn the reward is near. This is interesting because it really shows why the psychology of your Dominant/submissive relationship is more important than the physical acts you do in terms of controlling dopamine.

Second is super interesting. Let us say you have trained a sub well and they respond with dopamine when you tell them a reward is near. Their dopamine goes up and then will begin to drop. If you tell a sub a reward “may be” near, it turns out to generate an even higher level of dopamine! The exact perfect amount of the percentage of times to reward your submissive is 50%. In a study done where monkeys would hear a buzzer they were trained to associate with a reward, dopamine levels were by far the highest, when they only presented the reward 50% of the time. If on the other hand, you gave the reward 25% of the time or 75% of the time, the monkey’s dopamine levels would rise higher than that of a 100% reward scenario, but less than that of a 50% reward scenario. This love of “maybe” is why we can also become easily addicted to gambling.



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