In the lifestyle there are three levels of involvement for your man:
1. You meet other men alone with no involvement from your man. He may never know them or meet the other men in your life. You meet them on your own, and make all arrangements without any approval from your man. The other men may or may not know about your lifestyle, or be aware that your man knows about them. They may not even know you’re married, if you choose to remove your rings and pretend to be single.
2. You meet other men together with your husband, with him knowing them, and them knowing of him. However any interaction between both men is more on a social or perhaps friendship level. Your husband is not involved in any sexual activities between you and the other man. Your husband could even be the one who finds other men or helps make arrangements for you to meet them (your “dates”). But your husband is not included in your sexual encounters.
3. Having sexual relations with other men in your husband’s presence, or even engaging in some sexual play that involves all three of you. In the classic cuckold arrangement you engage in sexual play with your lover while your husband watches, but he does not play at all.
As an extension of this situation, there can be involvement of the husband in the classic ménage-a-trois arrangement, or traditional three ways. This could involve any degree of sex, which all three agree upon. Some wives prefer their husband be involved sexually and that is your choice.
As you will see this will all become about YOUR preferences.
Any of these levels can be appropriate, depending on the couple and what they prefer. It’s important to know where you, and to a lesser extent your husband, wish to take things, so open communication is important to establish your goals and boundaries. Just make sure that the “other” man fully understands everything as well. It’s important for him to know upfront where he fits into the couple’s relationship. It’s also important that he respect any boundaries you set out (you set the boundaries, NOT your husband).