livingdollpdx on Collarspace

5/16/2017 1:41:02 AM

It seems that most people have defined Daddy as someone who controls and micromanages every detail of their "child"'s life to the point where the child can take no action or make any decision without their approval or pre-planning. They also seem to think that the pleasure of Daddy is the top or even sole consideration of the "child".

Also most of the children get excited by the thought of disobedience to their parent and sometimes deliberately commit mistakes or willfully disobey in order to gain punishment.

I am not one of those people.

I was raised by a bipolar psychopath who would punish me even when I did nothing wrong. For example, one time as we were leaving to get dinner she noticed a bag of potatoes had moved and demanded that I admit I did it. I did admit it, simply to speed the process of being punished up, but she knew I was lying because I had not moved it. Eventually, I began rebelling because complying with her demands punished me as much as disobeying her and I might as well do what I want.

Later when I attended college in San Diego, I was tested by the students with disability and found that I had a short-term memory problem. My short-term memory is half of normal and sometimes my mind forgets what has happened in the previous 5-30 seconds, literally as if it never happened. This makes it seem to those around me that I deliberately disobeyed or ignored what just happened, however I have no control over what my brain does and as I've gotten older the problem has become more apparent and worse. Lately I've had some grand mal seizure that broke a few of my teeth. Medication has helped reduce these (at least I haven't had one for over six weeks now) but not completely negated them and stress makes them more frequent.

Now what does balance this out is that I have near-eidetic memory especially for the written word. Now many people think that this means photographic memory, which is thought to mean perfect. I do not have perfect memory or perfect recall. Eidetic memory simply means I remember sensory details like touch, taste, and sound as well as image as if I was re-living the moment. However, these memories are subject to distortion and misinterpretation as well.

Also do people who call themselves Daddies have degrees and experience in life coaching, mental health issues, gender issues, learning disabilities, early childhood education, even being the Masters that they claim that they are? Where is their credentials for experience and excellence? I can claim anything I like, but how can I prove it?

Also a lot of people think that having a Daddy is about needing someone to serve (which is a facet of pleasing). I was not born to serve my actual parents, I don't look for a Daddy for someone to serve as if I am his slave or servant. I look for a Daddy who wants the completion of what I am looking for: I am looking to grow, to expand, to develop and to be the best I can be. I am looking for a Daddy who wants to help me expand, develop, and to become the best that I can be, but not just in the bedroom or dungeon and not just at his feet.

After all isn't it the goal of parents to have children that they are proud of because their children are more than they are?