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angeldmort
Hetero Female, 53, Louisville, Kentucky 
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angeldmort

Dont write me unless youve read my full profile, and be prepared to show up or shut up.
No excuses. No second chances. No Drump supporters or apologists, past or present. No supremacists, no anti-vaxxers. No smokers. 


1) Any message that does not refer to me as Domina will be deleted without a reply. It just tells me you didnt obey that first order up there.


2) Go read my journal. I dont want to hear from you until you have a clear understanding of what *I* want and ideas on how you can serve. I expect to see that reflected in your introductory email. I already know what *you* want. The details get discussed if you impress me.


3) Go read Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny, Slave Training w Miss Abernathy and The Bottoming Book and start getting yourself prepped for service.


4) Decide which local munch you can attend to meet me. If you are within driving distance, I will expect you to come for coffee or a munch within the first week or so.


5) Understand that if you dont do these things, and follow through, I wont waste an email reply on you. I dont do second chances.


6) I am in a long term committed, loving relationship with my male kink partner of 14 years.Be respectful of that.


7) I am seeking a bisexual sissy service sub, someone to help around the house, bring me tea, massage my back and shoulders,... maybe lead around on a chain, torture when I am feeling cruel, to be our playtoy.... someone to paint and dress in goth drag before I force them to go out dancing with me at my favorite dive bar.... If this is not what you are looking for, we can discuss other things, but understand that you are asking for what YOU want, not asking to fill what *I* want. You will be asking a favor from a very busy stranger. Plan accordingly.


RULE 1 - Dont Waste My Time!
I dont have much free time to start with, and I have many many many things I enjoy doing with it. If you want my time and attention, even just the time and effort it takes to write real responses to emails, make sure youve done your due diligence of reading the profile and journals to find out what I want, and if we are remotely compatible. Theres nothing worse than spending hours trying to find out who someone is, if we are compatible, try go set up a meeting and a week into discussions realize that they dont have the nads to actually show up, or that they dont actually know what they want or why, or that what they thought they wanted was some sad fantasy based on BSDM porn and that the reality was going to be REAL WORK, mental, psychological, emotional, and physical. They suck up valuable hours and energy, then vaporize when reality sets in. Any energy I put into those conversations is gone with no return.
Dont be that idiot.
I am not interested in online domination in general.

I am a computer tech who reads Peter McWilliams, Alan Moore, Richard Bach, Clive Barker, and many related authors. I wrote a book once. I make many kinds of art, I do lots of crafty stuff, I have a full time job plus a side business. I garden, rescue and foster cats, renovate my own home, built my own deck, hang my own drywall, bellydance, build my own bookcases, repair my own truck, and much more. My Insta is very active.

My weekends are Friday and Saturday. If you are in driving distance, I will expect you to come for coffee or a munch within the first week or so. If not, you need to figure out how to plan to make it worth my time until you can.

Be intelligent and interesting if you want our interest. Be a feminist if you clam to be submissive. A sense of humor is a non-negotiable requirement. Those wishing to be considered for any open positions should NOT be allergic to pets (we foster for a local animal rescue,) have an understanding the intricacies of the splenius capitus, suboccipitals and their manipulation, like working with their hands, preferably like to garden, and be good at deep tissue massage. The ability to launder, iron, fold and organize yards and yards of fabric is a plus.

1/8/2024 8:52:33 PM: I need a new web site. Maybe a blog, maybe a store... I built my first one in HTML years ago, but I'm tired of screwing with stuff. Who wants to spend hours talking to me and doing the tedious work of being my code monkey?

12/21/2023 6:45:17 PM: Tonight's top email -  'You know your getting rid of 55 to 60 of potential contacts by restriction in your second paragraph?' Well, first of all  - 'you're.' A contraction of 'you' and 'are.'  Kinda tells me a lot right there. I wrote back and responded to what I thought he meant. But no. 'Dimina its the political restrictions that throw out 55 60 of the potentials in line' Then second, it's not 'Dimina' and third, its not the second paragraph. It's the 4th and 5th sentence. Further clarifies the kind of person writing. So I responded to THAT. 'If the political restrictions are the problem, then they arent actually potentials. They would be incompatible with me on many deep levels, and compatibility is the most important thing to me. The fact that they might not consider it an incompatibility, and would want to approach anyway, just further illustrates the basic incompatibility. The bottom line is this it doesnt matter what someones kinks are, how much money they make, etc.  If I cant respect them as people, I dont want to be around them in any capacity. If I cant respect them as people, then I ABSOLUTELY dont want to have to spend the kind of time with them that is required for kink, intimacy, or a relationship of any kind. Its not politics. Its a basic test of character, intelligence and humanity. No one on that side of the table is going to meet my requirements in those areas. Or, to put it in the simplest terms if someone is in the same crowd as the  self- proclaimed Nazis and isnt leaving, I dont want to know them.' Let me try to explain something here - If 'liberal politics' is a hard limit, maybe don't contact people for whom fascism, libertarianism, and Drump are hard limits. Seems pretty straightforward to me. I mean, isn't a profile for finding common interests and weeding out incompatibilities? Contacting someone who you KNOW isn't interested in you, and who you know has qualities you aren't interested in, to complain that their hard limits keep you from approaching?  Whining is really unattractive, guys. Then again, maybe he WANTED to be humiliated.  So... merry christmas, random complainy dude?

11/9/2023 4:04:09 PM: A couple nights ago, a self-defined submissive made some generic comment in his email, but did call me Domina, so I responded. A little earlier tonight, he wrote back to ask if I was looking for a slave. Specifically, 'slave.' I responded 'Well, if you had actually read more than the first line, you would have found your answer before you asked' To which he replied 'oh, read the profile syndrome that tells me everything I want to know not for me bye' Do you see the problem here? He didn't make any effort, while simultaneously offering himself as a 'slave.' To a total stranger. 'Cause lawd knows, a slave ain't gonna be asked to do anything as outRAGEOUS as... READ. This kind of obtuseness just blows my freakin mind every time. I mean, the twit has exchanged less than a hundred words with me, is using not the mild mannered 'submissive' or 'sub' which is kind of like dating, if you think about words (and you sure as shit better be the kind that thinks about words if you are writing ME) but instead chose the serious and committed word 'Slave' which is a lot more like suggesting marriage. And obviously, he's heard this before, because he had a whole big feeling about it, and has pathologized it as something only demented women expect from a man who was already offering the pinnacle of servitude. It's funny because it's so sad, and so common. I had just never heard it put that way before. Such over the top, blatant gaslighting. 'If you want this, you must be CRAZY!' I mean, really who wants to actually KNOW someone they have given all power over their lives??? I guess I'm more tired than I thought, and a bit bummed over lack of snuggle time with DB on account of snow, but I didn't even bother replying to laugh at him. Block, delete, on to the next. Maybe I go watch TCM The Beginning again. (I fast forward through all the parts that Thomas isn't in. Much shorter movie, but I enjoy it a lot more.)

10/5/2023 7:52:21 PM: 'I realize that like many Dommes, you are compelled to find fault with anyone requesting your attention. ... I know I am of value, considerable value in many ways, and I will continue my search.' Guys, this is call GASLIGHTING. It is also called 'pathologizing.' I called him out on something simple and obvious - namely, the same old 'I read your profile' then asking a question that is clearly answered in said profile, showing no, he didn't actually read it, but lied about reading it to curry favor- and instead of admitting it, he tried to turn it around and turn it into some character flaw that I brought it up.  Something must be WRONG with *me* if I saw a problem, rather than there being an actual problem with something he did. Furthermore, apparently MANY Dommes have this inherent character problem, which of course lets him off the hook when he does this to them, as well. This tells me that he does it a lot, and always twists things around to get out of having to own his behavior and take responsibility for fixing it. Which is why I blocked him - because he's already told me in two short emails that he's lazy, will lie about being lazy, and then pull toxic manipulative crap to try to cover it up. Furthermore, he tried to pull a straw man fallacy argument - *I* never mentioned value. I mentioned HONESTY.  He brought up his value, as if I had cast doubt on that, rather than simply pointing out that he was asking something that was answered in the profile he claimed to have read. He tried to make the discussion about something else, so he could argue against THAT, instead of the actual discussion where he was already proven wrong. Another manipulative tactic. This is not submission. This is the screaming red flag of a weak, insecure man who got caught being lazy and dishonest. This is the signature mark of a fake sub.  A strong man would have considered what I said, recognized the mistake, admitted the mistake, and apologized for the mistake.  Real submission would have been to ask how he could make it up to me, and discuss how to improve himself so he didn't do anything like that in the future, even if I chose not to move forward with discussions. Because a truly submissive man who honestly wanted to find a truly Dominant Woman, rather than a woman who was too stupid to see his bullshit and too weak to call him to task if she noticed, THAT man would want to make himself worthy of, and less likely to screw up talking to us. If you can't admit when you are wrong, you can't be corrected, so you can't submit. It's as simple as that.

9/1/2023 10:12:35 PM: 'So into you' or why ification is not as flattering as some guys think it is A post from my group- from Jan 2022 ___________ The subject today will be centered around ification, and how lack of the right actions is getting in the way of what you want. Recently my day was spent prepping for Mom spending the night, which mostly meant me continuing to organize, clean and just generally improving the space in my sewing room, (the only real spare room) which has a futon, and most importantly, DOORS, so she can have privacy and quiet from my cats. Now, being ADD, I work better with music and company, so I put music on that she and I can both enjoy- a Pandora station based on the Doobie Brothers I started just for her. And being who I am, I tend to listen to lyrics, and then often find myself analyzing them. Usually, I'm specifically analyzing the relationship failings described in them. It doesn't always stop me enjoying the music, but sometimes I recognize the stalkery mindsets that filled our airwaves when I was young and impressionable. As were the guys who were listening. It's not surprising that we all grew up thinking these kinds of unhealthy behaviors and expectations were normal, and even romantic. Songs like Boston's 'Let me take you home tonight,' where a guy is explaining to a woman he's never actually met before that he's basically been stalking her and built a strong fantasy and expectations about who she is, and now he feels that she should absolutely feel both flattered, and obligated to have sex with him. 'You must understand this, I've watched you for so long, that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong,' and goes on to say 'I'm dreamin of your sweet love tonight, let me take you home tonight.' So… he's been watching her for a long time without talking to her, decided who she was without ever having a single conversation, and, of course, imagining sex with her. A lot. And he tells her so, over and over and over. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing I want. Let me do this thing because I want it. Because that's always what is really going on there. Always the focus and end focus. Nah... that's not creepy AT ALL. Geesh. Today, it was 'So Into You' by Atlanta Rhythm Section. Different band, different song, same thought process - I saw you, I was attracted, I've decided who you must be, and I can't think about anything except sex with you - only this time, they seem to want to make it her fault. Now, at first, what struck me was 'could not catch your eyes' and 'stand here helplessly hoping you get into me.' Which just makes me ask 'What did he actually try?' I end up envisioning Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2, dancing around like a lunatic and freaking out the of his affections. Let's hope it wasn't like that. But honestly, it sounds like he really didn't try much. He admits that he's 'standing helplessly' rather than walking across the room and saying hello. Which sounds a lot like complaints I've heard from guys before. 'I don't know how to talk to women' and that's where it ends, rather than trying to solve that. I mean, there are classes, there are workshops, there is therapy, etc. There are options. Why would someone not even try to fix the thing that keeps them from finding companionship if they are stating that they want it? Passive is not a good look. Or as has been said 'faint heart ne'er won fair lady.' Unfortunately, the closer we look at the lyrics, the creepier it gets. All this woman did was walk into a room. Suddenly, he's obsessed. He 'can't think of nothing else.' He says 'Love the things you do' when so far, all she's done so far was exist in the same room. She's 'driving him crazy,' 'thinking about how it's going to be' and he's 'Gonna love her all over, over and over.' So he's not really thinking about getting to KNOW her. He's focused on this fantasy he has of who she is, and what he wants to do to her. She's a beautiful woman. But somehow, she's not really a person. I mean, he's impressed by her, and he wants something from her. But not enough to make the effort to interact with her as human being. So he's 'helpless' and 'driven crazy' and 'captured' but is just standing around 'hoping.' Worst part is that I really do like the song. Musically, and I like his voice, and the moody, kinda slow jazz feel to it. Shame about the message. I do get it - sometimes you see someone who just looks so cool it's hard to figure out how to approach so that they will be as impressed by you as you are by them. I was told that I'm intimidating... decades before I knew that Dominant was a thing. And the problem isn't that he thinks she's beautiful with 'voodoo in the vibe.' It's that he's turning that into something SHE's doing - 'driving him crazy,' and turning his insecurity into 'helpless.' And the entire thing is portrayed as flattering, and romantic, and a compliment to her. Because isn't that what women are supposed to want? For men to desire them? For her beauty to give her power somehow? For her appearance to add to her value to men? Because 'The Male Gaze' is always supposed to be a woman's focus. And what a man feels when gazing is her responsibility. And anything a man might do because of that feeling when gazing at her is her fault. (cont)

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otkslt
 
 Age: 27
 Gateshead, United Kingdom