3/19/2024 11:18:20 AM: Test whether I can add new journal entries.

9/13/2023 1:02:02 PM: Profile needs an update. I typically travel between Missouri, Wisconsin, and Indiana where I either have property or family.  I am presently spending the summer in upstate New York, working on some projects for a family friend.   Before I delve into the kinks that arouse me, let me first say that the primary thing I am seeking is a FLR of the highest degree. I am quit sensitive to people's moods, while not always aware of what may be the underlying causes.  This has been torture for me. I find that much of this arises out of the struggle between two people to have their needs and wants met by the other.  As such I would much prefer a relationship with a woman who can assume the responsibilities of a total power exchange.  Someone who will provide a Ds structure that is safe and productive.  Someone who is quick to punish and forgive to fulfill her needs and wants.  I feel this eliminates the wasted time on energy spent on fighting.   I am happiest when she is pleased.  I also tend to become uncomfortable when there is a dynamic of reciprocation or tit for tat.  It seems to place a responsibility upon me that I do not want.  As such I am not seeking fairness.  That is not to say that I do not appreciate attention when she is so inspired.   As far as kink is concerned there are a few things that I think I couldn't live without.  Regular and frequent spankings is one.   Orgasm iniquity is another kink that is the source of every fantasy I get off to when I masturbate, which is a strange dissonance.  But I have not been able to shake it for decades and it just becomes more prominent.  Many of my fantasies related to chastity drift into areas that are profoundly frightening to me.  As such I would greatly appreciate an accepting Domme who may exploit those fantasies, but do so in lets say a more maternal and understanding way.  Although not explicity a femdom relationship, I had a girlfriend in my 20s, where it was understood that when we were intimate I could focus solely on her orgasm without concern for my own.  In retrospect it helped to alieve performance anxiety.  However, I would still masturbate in private, which I have found comes with a subby refactory period.  It can be as short as a half hour or as long as a day.  This refactory period would be an issue in a power exchange relationship.  For pragmatic reasons my orgasms should be, at a minimum, completely directed by my owner.  It is a deep desire of mine to be my Ma'ams desperate and constantly horny slutty boy toy, used at whim.  As such I am still working up to the acceptance that a day may come when I may never be allowed another pleasurable orgasm.  With all that said I have yet to find a decent chastity device that would be suitable for long term wear, especially unsupervised.  Part of this may be a psychological block.  It just doesn't feel right to start a journey exploring chastity without a directrix who is taking it with me.  There are several firsts in there that cannot be experienced a second time.  The measuring, fitting, and selection should be a ritual that bonds, in my opinion.  It is also likely that I am too much of a grower not a shower that while they are difficult to get on, they end up slipping off.   The best solution I have found for this is a Prince Albert piercing.  But that again is an event that can only be experiened once.      Other than that you may wish to know that I am a competent handman and computer expert with a master degree in mechanical and aerospace engineering.  I can follow a recipe and enjoy providing domestic service and pampering.   I am presently seeking a remote work position, that would make it easier to travel and relocate.

1/14/2023 1:49:49 PM: 40+ +5 50-59 years old +10 60+ years old +15 Big enough to push me around and overpower me.  I'm 5'10' and 180 lbs.  +10 Playfully cruel and sadistic.  +10 Into orgasm control +5 Into tease and denial +10 Key collector +15 Strict +5 Very strict, as in seeks to make it impossible for me not to fail and therefore deserve punishment.  +10 Into private humiliation, not life ruining exposure kind.  +10 Likes being domestically served +10 Likes being pampered +10 Male -1000

8/10/2022 8:34:20 PM: Looking at the holy trainer v5 and the qiui key pd. I think it might be a perfect combination, if the holy trainer fits well.

12/24/2017 4:30:33 PM: 'I often tease my husband that sex was designed for the woman’s pleasure, not the man’s pleasure, and the male orgasm can never measure up to the intensity and pleasure of a woman’s orgasm(s) once she comes into her sexual prime.'  -Elise SuttonI am a firm believer in orgasm inequity.  Without really knowing it, I was trained in ejaculation control as a young man by an older girlfriend who insisted upon it.  While with her I became ashamed of ejaculating without her permission, which she never gave while I was in her, instead insisting upon as many orgasms for her as I could muster.  As often as not, I would go down on her, with no reciprocation.  This came to be expected, and I learned how to please her with my tongue quite well.  I honestly don't remember how many times I spilled my seed while we were together, but I found that I always fantasized about her punishing me while I masturbated, though she never indicated that it would happen.