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 ** my goal is a relationship, not getting off **   what this means to you is talk
nhite
Female Submissive, 48,  Vermont US

Link to this profile: https://www.collarspace.com/nhite

 

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 nhite

 Submissive Female

 Vermont

 Willing to Relocate

 240 lbs

 48

 Bisexual

 Caucasian

 08/28/07

 

Actively Seeking:

Dominant Male

Dominant Trans

Male-Dom Couples

Friends Only

 ** my goal is a relationship, not getting off **  


what this means to you is talk to me like a person about me as a person and NOT my kinks/what gets me off. 


 


BE AS INTERESTED IN MY DAY AS YOU ARE THE KINKY THINGS.  BE A NICE PERSON WITH COMPASSION.  you really can be that AND be a dominant/master.


 


i don't know of any way to be more clear or more simple in saying it.


 


also towards that i find that email/text isn't a great way to start to get to know someone.  there's too high a failure rate due to not knowing what the other person meant.   someone tries to be funny, someone else reads it snarky etc.   


 


i want to have a voice-to-voice conversation (via phone or skype number) SOON to help establish understanding and tonality etc.


 


there was a day recently when i discovered my car was damaged by thieves.   i would have liked a steadying hand from someone as i navigated the very unfamiliar processes of police reports, insurance claims and then resulting auto repair decisions.


 there was another day when being able to talk through two different job opportunities in front of me would have been nice.   i suppose in my younger days i would have called my dad.


  


submission for me isn't something demanded or disciplined or in need of meaningless rules.  it is about being vulnerable in ways that have absolutely nothing to do with toys.   to that end, my dominant should be the one i WANT to turn to first  and that can't happen if there is fear.


 


towards vanilla interests - i am not a clubbing / fishnets kind of girl and dont see that changing.   who i am right now likes farmer's markets;  browsing a consignment store;  eating in -- eating out!    i've recently discovered older movies (meaning pre-1970) and really enjoy them!


 


I REALLY enjoy being a HYPNOSIS SUBJECT and want it back in my life 




Journal Entries:
6/26/2017 3:46:59 AM
not my blog but oh so VERY YESSS!!!!!    


http://girlyjuice.net/5-ways-flirt-submissive/

1/11/2017 1:41:58 PM

there's a book written for business managers about leadership the concepts of which i think carry over to m/s very well. its unfortunate that only kink books are ever recommended for reading because the principles are the same. one of the more interesting concepts the author presents is "leadership is a service". if people could avoid being triggered by the word service and their biases as to what it is or isnt - there's a lot to be learned.

one of the more interesting illustrations in the book is about this company. they kept the parts for their equipment in a locked cage and staff had to stand in line to request a part (the implemented STRICT CONTROL). a new ceo came in and did away with the locked cage. without changing materials or suppliers etc. the company saw substantially increased profit. why?

by removing the cage, minor repairs were done sooner. they made it easier for the staff to do the job. because of this the big costly repairs were decreased. the reliability of the equipment was increased - they had more up time! more up time = more production + less repair costs = increased profits.

on an emotional level - the employees felt trusted and empowered to do their job. there's an exponential payoff to building someone UP instead of tearing them down. people who feel appreciated will usually do MORE.

management did not change their role. they were still the bosses and still drove the decisions. they set the goals and direction of the company. yet they reduced their level of control and got more results than they ever expected they could.

taking charge vs taking over

sometimes the best way to control things is to NOT


9/16/2016 1:01:16 PM

all you folks who write "height & weight proportionate" should stop and realize that a person having ANY height and weight is a automatically proportion.

meaning:  someone three feet tall and three feet wide is a 1:1 proportion.

you aren't saying what you're trying to

5/26/2012 6:24:14 AM

d/s relationship

 

there are TWO components there...

 

one is d/s - that is sir, that is letting go, that is control, authority, deference and if one is so blessed with proximity - being spanked and hair pulled

 

and then there's relationship - caring, concern.  yes emotions and yes even from a man!  this is listening to how i got a flat tire, being patient when i cry about it and teaching me how to buy a new tire.   relationship is accepting and valuing me, THE WHOLE PERSON.   without this component you may be allowed to use the body, but will NEVER touch the soul and will never receive genuine submission

 

while its not a game of cards, d/s relationship is knowing when to hold them, when to fold them

 

note relationship does not mention 401ks; religion;  mothers or other such typical trappings of a relationship.   a true relationship is based on what you do, how you treat the person -- what is experienced with the person  and said feelings do not automatically mandate including such mainstream stereotypical markings.   

 

two people can be wholly connected, wholly care and not have their lives wholly entwined.  or maybe its just more realistic to say that the entwinement of 401ks and mothers does not matter one whit in the reality of a genuine relationship.

 

submission is the soul unmasked... does not dominance have potential to be the same? for they are of the same coin. is it honestly viable for a man to be that vulnerable? and if the degree of his unmasking is matched equally by the submission he receive, is he truly vulnerable?

 

 

 

 


4/27/2012 3:06:58 PM

regarding photos

 

 

if you have chosen to post your picture or to send it to me unrequested, that was YOUR decision

 

that decision made by you does not mean i am obligated to automatically reciprocate.

 

that decision made by you does not have any influence as to how or when i make MY decision to send you MY picture.

 

anymore than your choice to eat pepperoni pizza does not in any fashion influence my choice to abstain.

 

if this philosophy bothers you then by all means - walk away without snark or bitchiness.

 

 



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