Collarspace.com

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Top4only1sub

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Friends:
lilbratgurlLoritaSlutjustdoeynXtinagirl

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Hi, How are you? I am Tom, a single, unattached, straight biological male and live on a lake in Minnesota.

My hard limits include dishonesty, abuse,(physical, verbal, emotional) scat, piss, blood, minors, animals, and cutting.

I will not start a sub-Dom relationship with anyone on Collarspace without first vetting via Skype or Google Hangouts, etc., due to peoples dishonesty concerning their biological gender and age.

I do not intentionally hurt anyone. There is a difference between hurting and pain. Pain can be deliciously pleasurable and lead to subspace. It is the Doms responsibility to provide both physical and emotional assurance during aftercare.

Portions of the above paragraphs may seem somewhat negative(unlike me) but are only intended to prevent us from wasting each others time.

Are you interested in meeting a strong, respectful, loving man(NOT an extreme domineering sadist control freak)for a friend and exclusive life partner? I am looking for a priority, not an option and I know the meaning of the words mutual respect. I am not interested in changing you but in enhancing each other, growing together and making memories. I am a moral, playful person and am attracted to people that possess these same qualities.

A few of my favorite pastimes include traveling, reading, nature, boating, swimming, fishing, lakeside bonfires, road trips to nowhere and more. After meeting me, people often comment that I am more fun than they had expected. I love to make others laugh and have a quick, playful sense of humor. Due to my belonging to 2 friendly, female black Labrador retrievers(they love boat rides and rural lake living), I prefer not to relocate.

If interested, lets get to know one another.






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10/25/2016 5:51:29 AM
(Borrowed from another member's profile)

"I have found that if you start talking about vanilla subjects first and get rapport going, then the BDSM subjects can start happening and you can talk about both.  But, and I can't think of one time I have been proven wrong on this, if the conversation starts out talking about BDSM it never moves to vanilla.  That's just my experience.  And to me there has to be both to have a successful relationship".

9/3/2016 4:01:40 PM
Due to some personal family matters I had been on hiatus from Collarspace.

8/29/2016 7:45:33 PM

Manual that all men should be receiving...

When you don't know how to open a conversation with an intelligent comment, follow these steps!

Step #1 (as in first step, don't skip)
Pick a single word from the following:

  • Hey
  • Wow
  • Damn
  • Hi (not recommended, highly overused when trying to sound smart)

Step #2 (this is the step that comes after the previous step, oh you skipped the first step. Please refer to step #1)
Compliment her body (No, you don't actually have to look at her picture. She will never know) with a phrases containing words such as:

  • beautiful
  • hot
  • gorgeous
  • sexy
  • eatable
  • lickable

No need to capitalize or add punctuation to such witty compliments!

Step #3 (It's ok if you can't count this high. Quit at step #2 and proceed to #1)
Only do this if you're feeling brave!
..Say you want to help her explore her fetish list. (No, you actually have to type it. She can't hear you when you say it!)

Now hit the grey button at the bottom that says "send message"
Good job! You sent a girl a message.

Now stalk her profile to see if she is actually online and ignoring you but loving pics.

Step #4 (now you're in the big leagues)
If you get a reply to a message, ask one of the following...

  • How's your day going?
  • What are you up to?
  • What did you do today?
  • Do you want to meet up?

Step #5
There is no step #5. Odds are you won't get another reply. So pick a new girl and start at step #1.

Thank you for visiting! 

Tom


8/29/2016 2:36:33 PM
Due to family heath matters I have been inactive on Collarspace. Now that the problems have been taken care of, I'm interested in finding a friend and lover.

4/24/2014 9:09:06 AM

This is an excerpt from an article that newbies may find helpful.

Ten Tips for the Novice, Single, Heterosexual, "Submissive" Woman (Version 1.0) 

by Jay Wiseman, 
author of "SM 101: A Realistic Introduction"

Another Key Point: You are under absolutely no obligation to act in a submissive manner towards a man until after the two of you have negotiated that -- and done so as equals. If some jerk tries to insist that you call him "Sir" or "Master" or tries to give you orders, or touches you in an overly familiar way, or says that you're not being properly submissive to him, your "creep alarm" should start ringing loudly -- and you should head elsewhere, fast. (Yento’s choice of bold face)

 





4/23/2014 9:15:03 AM

A true dom will not mold someone like a lump of clay, he will work beside you as we together grow. He will have been able to look into your soul and truly desire what he finds there.


2/27/2014 9:48:14 AM

Life is like using a camera. Just focus on whats important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't turn out...... just be open to take another shot!


11/4/2013 12:59:18 AM

 I do not enjoy crude or rude people and there are many of those types on this site. This is a non-traditional dating site, not a cheap bar.  For the newbies that don't know any better, Bdsm is not just about sex.


6/16/2013 8:59:53 PM

Due to a recent spate of scammers..... If you are unable to talk via the phone and/or Skype please do not contact me. Also, although I admire female nudity I would prefer seeing a recent photo of your facial features. Thanks for respecting my requirements!


6/1/2013 12:57:52 PM

http://www.bdsmstreak.com/video/11105/bound-elegant-blonde

 

 

 

http://xhamster.com/movies/1664520/milf_orgasms_from_getting_spanked.html


11/30/2012 7:55:50 AM

When you have to start compromising yourself or your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you.


8/5/2012 10:44:30 AM

 

The Acid Test!

Test #1: When in doubt, throw it out! Don't waste your time with people that make you feel uncomfortable. Even if the guy was a real Dom, if his personality makes you feel uncomfortable, he's not going to be fun to play with.

Test #2: "You'd better call me Sir!" is the mating call of a HNG or control freak. Real Doms don't have to ask for titles, we earn them. Most real Doms will say things like "Please, call me Mike..."

Test #3: "I want you to take my collar before you play with me." This is another common demand of fakes, most often made by control freaks. They have to isolate you from other people and their advice, and sometimes a little ole "cyber-collar" is just the thing! Cyber-collars are worth less than the leather required to make one.

Test #4: If you get an Instant Message that says something like "On your knees you [slave, slut, bitch, whore, etc.]" This person is an HNG. Use some common sense here. Why waste time with somebody that's not even polite? There's a time and a place for these endearing terms, and it isn't online!

Test #5: "I don't have to answer that question!" or "It's not proper etiquette for you to ask a Master that." These are examples of some the dangerous lies that control freaks and snerts use. This is the Acid test I personally think is the most important! A Dom had better be ready to at least try and answer every question you have, and honestly at that! It's literally your ass that's on the line! Never forget this!

Test #6: "It's my way or the highway!" or words to that effect, are the mating cry of the common control freak. Doms can have limits too, but it's your limits that count FIRST. Don't let any would-be "Dom" tell you differently. Don't let any of the wannabe subs tell you differently either. Where Male Dom/fem sub play is concerned, it's always lady's choice!

Test #7: Don't bother with online collars. Don't make decisions about a prospective partner based on his online play style. It's a very simple test if you think about it: Would a real-life Dominant waste much time on cyber sex and cyber domination? Please take my word for it; The answer is no. Forget it, once you've done the real thing, cyber is just too damn dull.

Test #8: Ask your prospect if he's ever made any mistakes during a scene. If he says "no," run for your life! If he says, "very rarely," at least be suspicious. Everyone makes mistakes, even if they are experienced and skilled. Sometimes submissives have limits they don't even know about, and even the most careful and skilled Dom in the world will trip over these occasionally. Remember, according to our good friends of the Christian faith, the last perfect guy to walk this planet got nailed to a tree for his trouble. So expect competence, but not miracles.

Test #9: "I'm a [bank president, captain of industry, combat photographer, self-made millionaire... yadda yadda yadda.]" Wouldn't it be nice to meet a rich Dom too? Sure it would! But use some common sense. How many captains of industry have hours to spend in an AOL chat room? Also, think about this personality profile; If this super successful, always-in-control person is really into BDSM, he's likely a submissive! Worse yet, it could very likely mean he is a control freak. I have met a lot of submissives that fit this ambitious profile, but not one Dom yet!

Test #10: "I'm 33 years old, and I've been a Master for 15 years." Gimme a break! What are the odds? When you ask about a Dom's level of experience (and it's a good idea to do so) remember to do the math as well. 18-year-old boys don't care about the intricacies of BDSM; they want to get laid. Trust me on this one Ladies, I was an 18-year-old boy once! I personally believe that people do become what they are (be it gay, straight, Dom or sub) very early in life, but it takes maturity and training to be a Master. What are the odds a person became a Master when they were still using Clearasil?

Test #11: "I have three real-life collared slaves right now, but you can't talk to them." OK, when you consider the ratio and all, this sounds possible. What makes this an acid test failed (and failed miserably at that) is the last part. I have met couples (and even triads) that really were looking for an extra person to add to the mix. This is not uncommon at all in the scene. But these couples were looking together. If a "Dom" has anyone already collared to them, you probably ought to talk to her first!

Test #12: "I don't need safewords." Well of course he doesn't! If he said this he's likely a snert and therefore he's never really been in a scene! Of course he might be a predator too, and then he wouldn't need safewords either. Need I say more?

Test #13: "My slaves trust me to set their limits for them." If you hear a "Dom" say this it's most likely because these slaves only exist in his mind. Or worse still, his "slave" is simply the victim of spousal abuse. Even so-called TPE (Total Power Exchange) and other sorts of 24/7 (i.e. full time) BDSM relationships should involve careful and thorough negotiation.

Test #14: "I'm married, my wife can't know about us" If I have to explain this one to you, you've got problems. I have played with many married submissives in my time, but only with the express permission (and more often than not, participation) of their husbands. Safe BDSM requires complete honesty. You can't build a good scene on lies. There are plenty of people that will be willing to tell you differently; but please note, they will all turn out to be adulterers (and hence, liars) themselves.

Test #15: Insert your own Acid Test here: You will learn much from your mistakes and missteps. If you form an online contact with a "Dom" that falls through, analyze why it fell through. Don't make the same mistakes twice if you can help it.


 
 

 

7/24/2012 11:33:06 AM

In my opinion D/s is only part of a relationship two people wish to create that fulfills and nourishes them.


7/18/2012 5:53:30 PM
While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man wishing he could whisper softly in her ear. While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND and INSULT her, there's a man flirting with her and reminding her how wonderful she is. While you HURT your woman, there's a man wishing he could make love to her. While you make your woman CRY there's a man stealing smiles from her. Post this in your journal if you're against Domestic Violence.

10/29/2011 4:17:13 AM

If you are interested and would like to know more about me, just ask. Although I'm unable to chat on this site I'm available on yahoo and can also talk via the phone.


10/16/2011 5:56:19 AM

 If you are interested in getting to know me and don't have any pics on your profile then please attach them with your email. I'm not thrilled about having my pictures online so I can understand your hesitation. I'm more apt to email someone when I have an idea what they look like. Also, I'm more likely to contact someone if they have described who they are as a person and what they are looking for. Personality matters a lot to me. A long list of kinks doesn't indicate in any way that you are interesting, intelligent, funny, safe etc. Also, I'm assuming you have tits and a pussy so I really have no need to see them. I am more of an eyes and face man.


10/15/2011 7:09:24 AM

 I'm amazed by how many people contact me and  fall in love during the first few emails/chats and want to meet immediately. Usually they have a new profile, an abusive, cheating Dom, and/or are currently out of the country visiting a sick parent and in need of airfare ASAP.  For some reason when a thorough background check is mentioned they always disappear and I never hear from them again. What an amazing coincidence!


10/9/2011 7:31:13 AM

Are you looking forward to the time when you find your one and only and this site is no longer necessary? I know I am!


10/5/2011 3:22:25 PM

FYI, in my most recent profile photos I'm clean-shaven. If you contact me and you don't have your actual photo in your profile I would appreciate it it if you were to send a recent photo of your face. Nudity is not required. 

Thank you!


9/11/2011 12:45:37 PM

FOUR GHOSTS OF THE WHITE HOUSE

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed.  He awakens to see George Washington standing by him. Bush asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away.

The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight................

The third night sleep still does not come easy for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to 

help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist.................

Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"

Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."


2/11/2011 2:39:35 PM

Saw this on a profile today and couldn't resist.  

Outspoken not rude
Confident not cocky
Precise not variable
Intelligent not conceited
Expressive not closed
Happy not medicated
Creative not conforming
Imaginative not dull
Spiritual not religious
Artistic not artsy
Chivalrous not entitled


11/28/2010 6:46:19 AM

Let's face it folks, to me appearance does count and if two people are not attracted to one another on a physical plane then chances are it will not move beyond a certain point.


11/28/2010 5:51:13 AM

Food for thought.......

"What is lovely never dies, But passes into other loveliness, Star-dust, or sea-foam, flower or winged air."- Thomas Bailey Aldrich

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
~Dr. Seuss~


10/3/2010 5:43:06 AM
No games please, unless you want to shoot a game of pool. I'm looking for a friend first, with the possibility of something more.

 If you are only interested in an online or a phone relationship without the possibility of ever meeting then please don't waste my time. Liars are like thieves and I have no use for either.

 I don't need to see photos of you naked. If you are morbidly obese or only interested in the physical and sexual side of a D/s relationship then please don't contact me. 

 If you want to contact me a recent photo will be required.



10/3/2010 5:26:30 AM
I do not believe that a D/s relationship is just about kinky sex, sex is just the icing on the cake. Anything sexual is meaningless if the mind isn't fully challenged and engaged.


I am not and nor do I tolerate negative, rude, disrespectful or obnoxious people. Life is too short to waste on those types of people and their BS.

 My sense of humor has been described as nice, fun, quick and witty.  Formally a city person, my interests include nature and the outdoors. I enjoy lake-living and much of my leisure time is spent outdoors, boating and fishing. Nothing is more relaxing to me than sitting lakeside by a cozy fire under the stars, either at home by the lake or in a wilderness setting. I also enjoy visiting museums, national parks and monuments and plan on visiting Yellowstone, Isle Royale and Alaska in the near future. Cooking, reading, movies(at home or in a theater), and home improvement are a few more of my many interests.

 


 


10/3/2010 5:06:53 AM
I thought this was very amusing , and no I didn't write it, but it was too funny to not put here. The advice is appropriate and not without merit.

This below is meant as humor, please don't get your knickers in a twist and take it personally, unless you are Brian.

To the Doms...

Gentlemen,

In the last few months that I have been seeking a Dom, I have met and corresponded with a number of you, and frankly, I am a little disappointed with the men who call themselves Doms. Since you all seem to be having a difficult time with this, I thought I would give you a few guidelines to make your search for your own submissive princess more successful. I am only giving you this input out of love, no one wants to see you succeed more than I do dear, so please read carefully:

1) A submissive is not a doormat. Don't expect me to do whatever you say when we are not in the bedroom. No, I won't clean up your apartment, no I won't wake up at three am to fuck you, and no I will not leave work early because you can't just jack off like everyone else does. Hey, I am totally turned on when you order me around in the bedroom, it's totally hot. However, it is annoying in my vanilla life, I am just as busy as you are, so lay off. If I wanted that kind of subservience I would move to Saudi Arabia.

2) Sending me an email saying you're a Dom doesn't make you my Master. Seriously, if I sent you an email claiming I was a cardiologist, would you let me give you an angioplasty? I am just as protective of my snatch as you are of your heart. When I get an email from you, immediately giving me an order to send you a nude picture, etc, I show it to my roommate and we laugh at what an asshole you are. My lack of reply should give you an indication of how well this strategy works. It's even less successful when you send me a second even more demanding email. Christ, dumb ass, it's not working, try something else. Try slowing down, would it really kill you to have a cup of coffee to get to know me a little first?

3) No, your friend cannot watch or join us. I don't know your friend, and I don't want to fuck him.

4) NSA means NSA. I am not looking for a husband. If I were, I would be married by now. If I met you on the internet, it probably means I am not going to move in with you. Again, I have a life too. Having said that, if you would like to see me again, just ask. I  might say yes if the sex was fun.  Please don't send me creepy emails 4 times a day asking how I'm doing, or drive by my house to see if I'm home. This kind of behavior makes me think I should call the sheriff to see if your address has been updated in the offender registry.

Oh, and Brian, stop sending me text messages. You were a lousy lay and your cell phone has a virus, which fucks up my phone every time you send me one of your inane messages. Go, the fuck, away.

5) Don't expect me to suck your cock without any reciprocation. No fun for my pussy means no second date for you, period. Submissives like oral sex too. Don't get me wrong, I love sucking cock, but it is not enough to keep me interested in you for more than twenty minutes. Additionally, if I have sucked your cock for half an hour and you still refuse to cum, I am throwing you out of my apartment. I don't care if you still have a raging boner, my gay neighbor will enjoy watching you struggle to unlock your car with a hard on.

6) Seriously, your friend cannot watch.

7) Yes, we have to meet in public the first time. Also, no I won't come to your apartment, never having met you, and put on a blindfold without seeing you first. I also will not get into your car with you and let you drive me some place I've never been before. Safety clown says those are bad ideas. I like being tied up and fucked. I do not like being tied up, fucked, injected with drain cleaner, and strangled. I don't know you, and you haven't gained my trust. And yes, I want your real name, address, and phone number. I will give it to my roommate so he can check up on me if I don't come home in time. This is common sense, and if you are a real Dom, you will always put our safety first. If you don't want to tell me your name, you are most likely hiding something, so I don't want to deal with you.

8) Married guys: get fucking lost. Cheating on your wife leads me to believe you are a despicable piece of shit, don't email me. Either put a little effort into your marriage or get divorced asshat.

9) Under no circumstances will I do the We/we, You/i in emails or IM. I/it I/is I/inane.

10) Enough pictures of your cock already! Again, I just show these to my roommate for our amusement (and he's queer). Bonus points to all you gentlemen who send me a penis pic when you have a really small cock. Sometimes honesty is not the best policy.

11) Why do I have to say it again? YOUR FRIEND CANNOT WATCH. Who is that guy anyway? Wasn't he in Deliverance?

12) You may not call me bitch, slut, or whore outside the bedroom. If you do, don't be surprised if I go nuclear on your ass. I have a name, please use it.

13) If you don't respect and like women, don't email me. If you hate women and want a blow job, I can hook you up with my gay roommate.

14) If I spend two hours getting ready for our play date, I expect you to put a little effort into getting ready as well. At least shower, no one likes that musty ball smell.

Listen, I am a nice, smart woman who just happens to like a little spanking and bondage. I am sure most of you are nice, smart men who like the same things. I'm sure we can work this out. Post these guidelines by your computer before you answer the next ad and I'm sure it will work out for you.

Happy hunting, you naughty bastard.



9/18/2010 11:03:51 AM

You just might be living a fantasy.....

 

If you think naked and kneeling is a realistic 24/7.

 

If you think barking orders is a good way to get through to your submissive/slave.

 

If you think having your submissive/slave ask permission to enter a room will work long term.

 

If you have learned everything you know about bdsm from a fiction novel or on line chatting.

 

If you think all you have to do is add Master to your nick makes you dominant.

 

If you think "kneel bitch" is a good way to open a conversation with a submissive/slave.

 

If your dominance or submission begins and ends with the turning on of your computer.

 

If you think that life won't get in the way.

 

If you think "yes Master/Mistress" is how you should address all dominant personalites.

 

If you think hard limits are just a suggestion.

                                    ......you just might be living a fantasy.


9/18/2010 11:01:48 AM
Here is my reality; I'm not looking for just casual sex, although I'm very sensual and love sex. I'm not looking for games, stories, or other lies. I'm looking for chemistry, a personal connection. I don't care if there is a distance between this connection and myself. What I care about is if we can relate comfortably, and share our thoughts and ideas non-judgmentally.

9/15/2010 4:29:26 PM
Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Don't believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs. Life is wonderful if you know how to live it! 

10/15/2009 5:55:31 AM
I'm an affectionate Top looking for a submissive. I am an honest, open, unattached, polite, tactful gentleman with a sense of humor (though you probably can't tell that from this) and have a fun, playful personality.  If you ask me any questions be prepared for a direct and honest answers.  I don’t tolerate biased, opinionated or superficial people as they have no depth. My friends are people that share the same honesty, warmth and passion about life that I have. Open communication and  good conversations are encouraged and required. I've been accused of being nice and an old-fashioned romantic. Definitely NOT a player. Well rounded with a catholic education and retain christian values but am not overly religious...... Love to laugh and have fun doing just about anything. I am spontaneous and open to new ideas. I'm not on here to accumulate a long list of friends.

****************************************************
  • Mostly listen to 80's and newer rock and alternative...Phil Collins, 3 Doors Down, Pearl Jam, Beatles, Led Zepplin, Collective Soul, Doors, Cars, Nickelback, Police, Heart, Sheryl Crow, Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks,Pink Floyd, The Who, etc... Definitely not an opera or rap fan...


  • ***********************************************************


  • Prefer movies that have a plot. I'll watch almost anything but I'm not a big horror movie fan. Drama, action-adventure, independent films, comedy.... Lonesome Dove, Second Hand Lions, Dances with Wolves, Secretary, Jeremiah Johnson, Saving Private Ryan, Forrest Gump, Gran Torino, 2001:A Space Odyssey, The African Queen, The Notebook, Good Morning Vietnam, The 40 Year Old Virgin, etc.


  • ***********************************************************


  • Varies and I tend to watch more during the winter months. Nature, Nova, Frontline, History, Discovery, Animal Planet, National Geographic, History Channel, PBS, Documentary, Two and a Half Men, The Office, Cold Case Files, Forensic Files... Allergic to the so-called reality shows.


  • ***********************************************************


  • When I have the time I love to read and enjoy a wide variety of subjects. Larry McMurtry's Lonesome Dove is one of my all-time faves.


  • ***********************************************************


  • Love to watch the Minnesota Vikings, occasionally watch the Twins, UFC, Wild and Timberwolves.


  • ***********************************************************


  • I love spending time with family, friends and enjoy nature and the outdoors. I like to play cribbage, pool, horseshoes, going for drives, sight-seeing, fires by the lake, people-watching, snowstorms and thunderstorms. Also enjoy boating, fishing, swimming, cooking, flea-markets, small-town celebrations and fairs.


  • ***********************************************************


  • I dream of finding one special sub to cherish and share the rest of our lives together.


  • ***********************************************************


  • My ears because I'm a good listener and my sense of humor.


  • ***********************************************


  • ONLY ADD ME AS A FRIEND IF YOU ARE  A SINGLE SUBMISSIVE AND LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WITH LONG TERM POTENTIAL. What's so complicated about it? You're either in a relationship or not.


  • ****************************************************


  • The main reason for revealing a little bit about myself on this site is to meet good online friends and see if anything comes out of it as far as a real-life relationship. My goal is to find one woman for a lifetime of mutual Love, respect, discovery and then retiring from this site.


  •  Must like dogs, be open to relocating and  living by a lake in Minnesota.

  • ************************************************************

  • 1) First exchange messages and chat online...............................


  •  2) Talk on phone and get to further know one another....................


  •  3) Meet as friends first to discover if there is mutual chemistry


  • *********************************************************************


  • Thanks for taking the time to read my post! If you've read it this far, think we may be a match AND live in the USA then feel free to email me!



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dotchan
 
 Age: 19
  New York