Denial. It's seems I've been in a state of denial about denial.
You know that feeling of nervous excitement you get before doing something you're really looking forward to? Maybe like the night before Christmas when you were a child, or just waiting for the postman to bring that new toy you've bought online (no, not *that* sort of toy. Pervert :-p). The intensity of that usually far exceeds the event itself. You might get a sudden rush when the doorbell goes, or you wake up, but then the rest of the day is a bit of an anticlimax. Well orgasms seem to be rather like that for me.
I think on reflection that I seems the intensity of the feelings of being teased are ultimately much more rewarding than the end result of things. However, slightly paradoxically I can't enjoy them at the time until things have been brought to an end, but the ending of it just results in disappointment. It's like the disappointment makes the mounting frustration worthwhile.
So what I think I'm trying to say is that I enjoy the intensity of being frustrated. Well it's almost an admission anyway. |