7/12/2017 1:33:15 PM: It's been such a long while since I've wrote anything. I am at a point in my life where searching for someone true and real has faded into a wish. I'm not saying there aren't some that are true and real but trying to wade through the constant lies and manipulations is exhausting. I entered this lifestyle because of my need to serve. Not because of some person that wants to truly abuse me wether it be emotionally or physically. I enjoy intelligent conversation and I'm very willing to answer questions when asked. I don't take kindly to threats and dishonesty. As always thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day.

10/21/2016 9:55:05 AM: Its been a while since i've put my thoughts to words. Things can change so quickly and in the blink of an eye Yyour life could be extremely different and set to a different or unplanned path. Hopefully in these instances Yyou will have someone to lean on...to turn to....to trust....to rely on....to just be there and love Yyou for the person Yyou truly are. i fully believe in destiny and fate and trust that everything.happens for a reason but its difficult to swallow when Yyour world is completely shifted from one end of the spectrun clear to another. When do You know that Yyou've found the person Yyou were destined to be with? As a slave i once felt that being able to adore and serve someone unconditionally was how i would be happiest but i now believe that in finding Yyourself no matter if Yyou are a Dom/Domme...sub/slave....i believe that Yyou will sacrifice Yyourself for that other person. i truly feel that a Dom will revel in serving.His slave jist as much as she enjoys serving Him. It's scary being raised up to that level of adoration. All the expectations...the obligations....it.raises the question....'what if i fall?' Then to hear Him say...'I trust You...your pleasure matters...you lead I'll follow...I love You and you could not fall if you tried' It's an amazing feeling and makes me the better for His guidance....love and trust.

3/25/2016 6:52:30 PM: Anticipation...... one of the most exhilerating feelings of my submission. The anticipation of serving Him. His wants....needs....desires.....all of it. He makes me crave to be perfect for Him. He makes me aspire to be more for Him.....His toy....His slut....His girl....His goddess.....so much to want to be for Him....so much pleasure i crave to give Him. He deserves to be worshipped as a God. He deserves to have all of His hearts desires..... and i will strive to be the one He craves to need it from.....

3/4/2016 10:12:33 PM: Failure....dissapointment....not good enough.... Not words or feelings one such as i ever wish to hear from that One that is so cherished....loved and worshipped. That feeling of unworthiness festering in the pit of your stomach feeling so much embarassment and contemt for yourself that you could make such horrible choices to become very little and lose so much. Questions in your mind of 'will i ever be good enough to kneel at His feet'.....'maybe He deserves better'.....'are you fit to serve'......they echo through your mind and blundgen the very core of your beliefs and pride as a slave. They place that seed of doubt within you that grows like a plague.....engulfing every bit of you.....consuming anything inside..... A physical beating for one such as i is so much more......direct and easily processed by the mind. Its given....its over....its processed....you move on. The physical pain and marks fade in time and become nothing but a lesson that you learn from and grow. The pain and marks from the internalization of the verbal aspect is more severe....it stays with you for a long while....sometimes forever....pain....a constant reminder.....

2/25/2016 7:15:05 PM: Time...... Ive found that all my life i waited and ive waited for things that ive needed or wanted. All Along being told that having patience will reward me. All my life ive been told that i could be whatever i wanted to be.....dreAm big they all said. Reality was is they wanted me to be what they dictated to me. They wanted their dreams....needs....wants....passions played out as i served from my knees. To long have i waited and wanted. To long has time ebbed by taking a piece of my dreams with it. Until now......Youve shown me that serving does not have to be from my knees. It does not have to be without my own thought. And most of all serving does not have to be without my own passion and desires. Serving the right Man.....the One that encourages to let my mind go....to use my intelligence to impress instead of my body......the One that has seen the true me and desires me even more......to have Him say....stand by my side and serve......is......freeing.....is perfection.......