12/30/2017 7:04:25 AM: When you deny me, to mefrom that you will not recover.

11/19/2017 7:44:17 PM: I always liked journaling on Sunday night. Is Sunday night the beginning or the end? Its neither its the pause between. If one is lucky a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities ...life had taught me undeniably that surrender in its place was a honorable as resistance especially if one had no choice. Both are maya Angelou

11/17/2017 7:30:17 PM: I am not going back and reading old journals right now because I really dont feel like re-reading what i felt.it sticks in my mind that at some point i think i said i offered you friendship. That keeps rolling around in my head. That has to be the dumbest thing i ever wrote here. That just has to be the bottom and the lowest point of my dapravity, that i would offer to you friendship. The mere concept of it is so pathetic. How pitiful of me. I am not beating myself up tho. That’s what shock can do to a person. It wears off and i come to my senses. Her husband , your husband. Husband Wife, Married. Your Married, your husband, what you don’t like that? you're married. Doesn’t that mean something to you? Means something to me. Words mean nothing, you should know your the best teacher if what you want to learn about is what nothing means.

11/15/2017 7:36:23 PM: all I really have to give is my heart. Everything good about me functions because of it.

11/15/2017 4:23:10 AM: Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it. When i knew better I did better-maya I am doing much better. Truth is freedom