7/7/2014 11:05:41 PM: It's sad. I've noticed a commonality among men who say they want a Domme, and then run in the opposite direction when one shows interest. When the Domme shows that she is, in fact, human, and all that that implies, guys tend to head for the hills. I get that this is a fantasy for most, and at that, a fantasy that is years and years in the making, but please remember, boys: This person, this Mistress of Every-Damn-Thing that you have created in your head? Most of us will NEVER be able to live up to that standard. Why not? Because you've created someone in your mind who's perfect, flawless, and can do no wrong. Who doesn't have weak moments. Ever.  Who doesn't have relatives, friends, or pets who pass away that they loved and grieve for.  Who has an immune system that could win a nuclear war and never gets colds, the flu, or terminal illnesses. Whose reproductive system is non-existent and therefore they never get cramps or have children that depend on her. Who doesn't need to receive and give romantic love and therefore would never stoop to the level of a mere mortal and have a life partner that they have to be considerate of. Who feels most comfortable 24/7 in high heels and whatever leather/rubber/PVC/otherwise constricting fetish attire you find to be your favorite (pj's or a favorite oversized jersey T while watching television on the sofa? Not your SuperWoman!).  Who doesn't enjoy living with a roof over hear head, food in the cupboard, and utilities in good working order and therefore need a job to pay for such mundane things. Hell, we all live in our own version of the BatCave with a trust fund and a sissy maid, right? Seriously, folks. These are some of the questions I've been asked recently, and not-so-recently when I've had conversations with submissive men who sought me out for consideration.'Boyfriend? Huh? Why do you have a boyfriend?'  When I asked him what he meant by that, he said 'I dunno. I guess I have this picture in my head of you striding along, head held high, not needing anyone or anything.'  'You have a child? Oh. So...I wouldn't come first in your life, then?''I want to sit at your feet at the end of the day every day and unlace your boots after licking the high heels on them clean, and then rub your feet to ease the soreness from walking around in them all day.'  When I told him I don't wear high-heeled boots all day he said 'Then what's the point?' and disappeared. And on it goes. I've had people disappear after they read my application for consideration, when they realize I won't cater to THEIR wants (negotiations notwithstanding) constantly, and usually, when they realize that to me, this isn't a game. This is a way of living. And I refuse to half-ass it. 

7/7/2013 2:26:07 PM: I need a massage. 

5/5/2013 1:18:09 PM: Yummy.  I really needed that. I just played with a man who had never come to see me before.  Tall, attractive, kept himself in beautifully fit shape.  We dabbled in bondage, spanking, flogging, paddling, and then I put electrodes from my TENS unit on his cock and balls, and zapped happily away while I played with his ass/prostate. He was so responsive and passionate.  Sigh.  The play culminated with the electrodes still zinging away while I played Tease & Denial with him using the Hitachi.  What a great way to spend a sunday afternoon.  MEEEEE-OOOOWWWWWWWW. 

1/5/2013 12:03:40 AM: I think I understand now why so many FemDomm's on this sit (as well as others) get frustrated and ignore so many of the boys/men who contact them.    Here's why:   Now, most of my close friends are men.  That's mainly because I simply get along better with men.  They are not my subs, slaves, or (ick) financial slaves.  They do not support me financially, physically, or emotionally.  They are just wonderful people who are cool, help me grow as a person, teach me, accept me for me, and have much less drama than their feminine counterparts.  Sorry, ladies, but it's true.... we're drama.  We're emotional, and hormonal, and don't know what we want any more than the average guy does.  We also are less inclined to forgive and forget, and we make mountains out of molehills. So, anyway, I told you that story to tell you this one:   Most of my friends are guys.  Most of them have profiles on CM, , OKCupid, Plentyoffish, alt.com, and adultfriendfinder.com as well as a bunch of others.  Now, according to what they have told me, here's the story of trying to meet a girl online:   (remember-this is from a male's perspective)   Step 1: Send out at least 100 'greeting' notes to women they find attractive.  Get.... 0 responses in return, unless you count the 'bots'.   Step 2: Send out at least 100-200 more 'greeting' notes to women that still seem ok, but not quite as high on the richter scale of physical attractiveness as the first 100 girls they contacted   Step 3: hear back from maybe 3 of the 'second tier' girls.  Remember, this is likely to be 3 out of 100-200 attempts (300 if you count the first batch as well).     Step 4: respond to the 2 or 3 responses they got, and most likely, will hear nothing from them ever again.    Step 5: Give up in frustration, then after a few months, go back to step 1 and repeat the process.    Now, after this cycle has been repeated at least twice, some guys will be lucky enough to get a dialogue going with a girl.     Most guys will agree that to get a conversation going with a girl, and keep it going, escalating from notes from the initial 'meeting site' to Yahoo or whatever, is almost a miracle.    Now, if a guy can get a girl to graduate from instant messaging to actually exchanging a phone # with them, OMG, it's like the heavens are opening up.     If you can get a girl to respond to your text messages, it's like the angels are singing on high.   And, if you can actually talk a girl into meeting you in person... well, the first thing you do is make sure you aren't dreaming and/or wandered into some strangel, Dali-esque alternative reality.     Now, almost every guy I know (in fact, all the straight guys say this, gay guys seem to have better luck) say that this is how it goes when you're a guy, as far as online dating is concerned.    Now, that being said, I just have one question:   How come so many ladies I know, including Me, are experiencing guys who flake out on actually meeting in person??   The first issue I have is that when I've been chatting with a guy for awhile, and we move from chatting on the meeting site, to Yahoo, to finally exchanging phone #'s, this is what generally happens(and my lady friends have backed me up on this) :    We don't hear from them for a few days, and then, it's a text message at 2am that says something along the lines of 'Hey sexxy-wat r u up too?' (spelling mistakes included purposely)   Seriously?? Has social media warped us so badly that even basic courtesy and good manners are that far gone? I'm not old by any stretch, but I can remember when it was bad manners to call someone after 9pm and that was if you KNEW the person already.   I am so astounded by the lack of social graces that we as a society lack.  And, that isn't even touching on the fact that the first message you get from someone after giving them your phone # is quite obviously done when the guy has either been drinking, or is horny and wants a hook-up, or both.     I'm just so surprised that when a guy lands a phone # from a girl, instead of thinking 'Hey, I need to play it cool and make a good impression', he just throws respect for time, sleep (remember-it's 2am), grammar, and feelings out the window.     FYI, gents, that NEVER makes a good impression on us.     So, ironically enough, there have been a few guys who made good enough impressions on me that I gave them my phone #.     And, every single one of them pulled the 'after-midnight-and-horny' first contact text message.  A few of them even asked me to send lewd pictures of myself, and one of them got downright shitty when I refused.  Another one of them got shitty after I told him never to contact me after 10pm again.  Another one said 'oh, sorry.  Who is this again?'    Wow. Way to make a girl feel special.  At this point, I can almost HEAR the lines being drawn through their names in my mind as I cross them off of the list pf potential anythings.    And for the record, these are men contacting me as SUBMISSIVES.    One boy went so far as to fill out my application for being my foot slave.  We agreed to meet on a certain day a few days after I let him know I had approved his application and would like to meet him.  I didn't hear from him again.  The day we were supposed to meet, I sent him a quick note asking him if we were still on for that day.  He got back to me an hour AFTER we were supposed to meet and said he was sorry, but that he had gotten called in to work the day before, and hadn't been able to find someone to cover his shift.  I was polite about it, but I told him it would have been nice if he had told me he couldn't make it as soon as he knew he couldn't, and therefore, I could have made other plans.  I never heard from him again.    Another boy and I agreed to meet at a coffee place near my house one afternoon.  I told him to call me to confirm a couple hours before our meeting time, and, or course, I never heard from him.     One by started texting me one day letting me know he was in the mood to jerk off, wanted a little assistance.  I told him I wasn't interested in that, especially since we hadn't even met yet.  He wouldn't stop, and even said 'Sorry for the persistence, but when I want something, I really go after it,'  My response?  'Yes, I'm noticing that.  Conversely, when I'm done with something, I'm really done with it. You now fall into that category. Bye.' and he was blocked my contacting me via text, call, and messaging after that.    The last boy approached me as a submissive (of course) was insistent upon meeting really early in the morning (it fit his schedule) even though I told him I don't get up at 6am.  He wore me down, until I agreed to a 7am meeting for coffee.  He then said it would work better for him if I met him somewhere near his place, which was about 30 miles away from where I live.   ((( insert Scooby-Doo confused, head-shaking sound effects here )))   So...let me get this straight.  You're approaching me, wanting to serve me, yet you refuse to meet at a time during the day  that works better for me (which was literally, anything after 10am going up until midnight), insisting that I meet you somewhere at 7am AND that I get up at 530am, to fight morning traffic to drive 30 miles to meet you? Wait.  WHO'S supposed to be the submissive here??????  In case it isn't obvious, I didn't go meet him.    My confusion stems from the fact that guys say it's pretty much landing a gold mine and winning the lottery if a girl talks to you, likes you, and agrees to meet you, so, if that's the case, how come so many guys are squandering the opportunities when they ARE given them?  Why are they flaking out? How come they're using a girls phone # to send her pictures of his dick and asking for pictures of her pussy instead of saying 'Would you like to go get a drink somewhere and get to know each other?'  Yeah, I get it that guys are wired for sex. Really, I do.  I'm technically a sex-worker, for God's sakes, so I understand the male libido, and such.  BUt these are guys claiming they are seeking a relationship, not just a hook up (I'm not including the guys seeking a hook-up in this rant). I'm just so flabbergasted that guys are ruining the chances they get with women, instead of thinking 'Cool!  She's interested. Now, how can I make her like me more?' Instead, they're thinking 'Cool! I'm gonna ask her to show me her pussy, that's make her like me!'   So... all in all, I can now understand why so many ladies get frustrated with the guys on these sites.  I understand that many of us girls are flakey, and flighty, and some of us are only out for money (I am NOT one of them), but...the pickin's aren't that great as far as the guys go, either, so next time you start to lose patience, cut us some slack.  We're getting blown off, and flaked out on, too. 

9/17/2012 5:09:36 PM: WHAT I LOOK FOR IN A SLAVE pt. 2   This is a continuance of my journal entry below entitled 'What I look for in a slave'   1)  I want you to have a life outside of kink.  If kink is all you can think about, and all you are interested in, please pass me by.  95% of my friends are in the kink community, so it's not as if I am lacking in kinky times. I want someone I can grow with, and learn about other things with. I still want the parties and playtimes and protocols, but I want more than that, too.    2) I want you to be straight.  I have no moral issues with 2 men together at all, I just prefer the men I am with to be completely and totally in love with women.     3) Cross-dressing is fine, and fun, as long as your kinkiness isn't dependent upon it.  I used to hide this preference, because I met so few women who felt the same way, and I felt (for some reason) that I was in the wrong for feeling this way (I felt a similar shame about how I prefer my boys straight instead of bi).  I'm finally meeting women who like their men to be straight, and to dress like men.  It was liberating to finally realize that I'm not wrong for liking what I like: strong, confident men who look like men and love women.  I have fun with cross-dressing, but if you can't have kinky fun without it at least 50% of the time, we might not be compatible. I can't help it.  There are no judgements, it's just that I'm straight.  100% heterosexual, and it's just not in me to be sexually attracted to women, whether they are biological women, or just a 'temporary' woman.