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baddog79
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mtownmale
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curiousiniowa
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| We are a young couple in the Waterloo, IA area. We are both visual artists. My mate (the male of the couple) is also a musician and a fledgling tattoo artist. I (the female and owner of this account) draw, paint, make jewelry, create custom synthetic dreadlocks, and hula-hoop. We both attend raves and dress expressively. Art is a very important part of our lives, as is our faith (we are both Wiccan). We are also both bisexual, so we understand each other's sexual needs very deeply.
We are seeking a young, attractive female in the Waterloo/Cedar Falls/Grundy county area to create a poly family in which we will be the dominant couple. We plan on marrying and having children. ***Anyone who enters our lives with plans of breaking us up will be eliminated from the relationship!!!***
This female is to be attractive, artistic, intelligent, and comfortable with being shared between us. ***We will not tolerate drama of any kind!***
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So- for those wondering- Yes, I have found myself a wonderful male very close to home. Him and I have a wonderful relationship. We have been together since June.
He is also bisexual, so he understands my orientation.
We have an agreement that I am allowed to see my Master if I ask permission and use a condom.
He wants children very much. I have a genetic trait to have twins and... He happens to be a twin! ^-^
He just scored a $400 a week job.
He is also a visual artist and a musician. He and I can sit and talk about art and music forever!
He is also Wiccan. I am not the crazy religious type, but I do make my beliefs part of my everyday life, and it would be nice to find a partner who has the same/similar beliefs.
I am extraordinarily happy with him. He goes to raves with me. He will sit and watch movies and have wine with me. He will even tie me up for some fun time. He is the most understanding and enjoyable partner I have ever had. He is even interested in finding a submissive female so we can have a poly family :D How did I find such a man??? |
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I am feeling very lonely. I haven't seen my master in quite a while. I have no one I can cuddle. I am also starting my heat, which makes things even worse, since now I crave physical contact- especially sex.
I miss my master so very much. I am so eager to get pregnant now that I am in heat, but I know I must wait. I would really love to have a baby with my master. He is so strong, intelligent, and attractive.
I would love to find a female just to keep me occupied for now. |
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Yes- I do practice goddess-worship. I found this on Sacredtexts.com and was very impressed by it... Scratch that. Inspired by it. This not only describes many of my beliefs, but describes them in such a way that they seem to be part of the psy-trance culture I have become so involved with in the past four years. ENJOY...
Excerpt from "The Book of the Goddess" by Anna Livia Plurabelle
In the beginning the Goddess dreamed within the undifferentiated plenum.
The plenum was of multifold dimensions
It seethed with fractal bubbles which linked all scales of reality.
And she moved within and upon the face of the quantum foam,
In wholeness, in a timeless place.
The matrix of the Goddess was empty
And all universes were united all in her embrace.
There was no past and no future, no up or down.
The laws and the form of the microscopic was identical to the macroscopic.
As Above, so was Below;
There was no division into Goddess and not-Goddess.
There was only one plenum and the one Goddess
Was as the water flowing in the depths of the ocean.
And the Goddess waited for an eternity,
And then for yet another eternity,
And an eternity of eternities.
And the Goddess desired pleasure, but she found it not.
Who will bring me pleasure? she sighed.
So she split into three so that she could create pleasure and enjoyment.
And the three forms were the Nymph, the Mother and the Crone.
The Nymph is what has been,
The Mother is what is,
The Crone is what shall be.
And the three linked into a circle of life.
And their pleasure created a feedback loop.
Linked into that loop the Goddess sang her world-shattering song.
And the feedback loop ascended to the highest energy state, the orgasm.
And the Goddess saw that the orgasm was good.
And at that moment infinite possibilities
Arose out of the quantum foam and the plenum shattered.
All the multiverses came into being and the Goddess entered into them.
Time and space came into existence.
Energy and Matter came into existence.
And the multiverses began to split into a multitude of universes,
Each universe with a different history and set of physical parameters.
And the Goddess saw that the multiverses were good.
And that was the first orgasm.
When we experience orgasm we take an infinitesimal sip
Of the cup of the ecstasy of creation.
Trillions of eons passed.
The multiverses evolved and many new forms of the Goddess emerged.
Some multiverses were empty or sparse.
Some were filled with energy that could not cool.
In some time ran backwards, or sideways.
And all of the universes were pregnant with the form of new Goddesses.
And the Goddess was not yet satisfied,
As her passion knows no boundaries.
So she split into more forms, her sisters,
One for each multiverse.
And she loved all of them,
And found satisfaction for a time.
And each Goddess split into an infinite number of forms.
But after an eternity the Goddess again yearned for new lovers.
And the Goddess sang to her sisters:
We will cause these multiverses to evolve.
For diversity and the infinite combinations it produces
Will create new consciousness.
So to seed this spectrum of possibilities
She created the rainbow,
And she and her sisters embraced the rainbow
And fertilized all of the creations without ceasing,
Bringing matter into existence and causing time to flow forward.
For consciousness needs distinctions between past, present and future
And a vessel to hold it.
Each multiverse ran for trillions of eons,
And matter and energy split,
And each divided into numberless forms.
And the microscopic was distinguished from the macroscopic
And each had different but similar laws.
Particles coalesced into atoms.
Atoms coalesced into large scale structures.
Large-scale structures birthed galaxies.
And the galaxies birthed nebulae.
And the nebulae birthed stars.
Stars birthed planets and moons and comets and asteroids.
The planets cooled and water and gasses moved on the face of the planets.
On the surface of the waters,
In the voids between the stars and deep in the nebulae,
Wherever atoms linked into long chains,
There was a soup of organic molecules.
And the Goddess sang
"Let the long chains of atoms become self-replicating
And evolve into my image".
And the thunder of the Goddess's world-shattering song
Struck the surface of the waters,
And the chains started to replicate.
And that was the origin of life.
But life was not yet conscious.
So the Goddess said: I will encode a language into the soup.
The alphabet of this language will be amino acids
And the grammar will determine what form a organism will become,
And how long it will live
And all the possibilities of the organism,
For all the days of its life.
And she translated into this language her song.
And she took the dream she had dreamed in the plenum
And wrapped it around her song.
And the molecules began to evolve into more complicated forms.
And the Goddess pulled back her hand
As a wanderer after lighting a campfire.
In the beginning there were the Eukaryotes, the single-celled.
And the Eukaryotes begat the Metazoa.
And the Metazoa begat the Bilateria.
And the Bilateria begat the Deuterostomia.
And the Deuterostomia begat the Chordata. And the Chordata had backbones, and the Goddess saw that that was good. And they were the parents of the fish, the amphibians, the reptiles, the birds and the mammals. And that was the Cambrian age
And the Chordata begat the Craniata. And among the Chordata were the Agnathan fish, the first Vertebrata. And that was the Ordovician Age.
The Craniata begat the Vertebrata.
The Vertebrata begat the Gnathostomata, the jawed, and that was the Middle Devonian Age.
And the Gnathostomata begat the Teleostomi. And the Teleostomi begat the Osteichthyes. the And the Osteichthyes begat the Sarcopterygii. And the Sarcopterygii begat the Terrestrial Vertebrates. And that was the Upper Devonian. And life emerged onto land, the ancestors of the mammals, reptiles, birds and amphibians.
And the Terrestrial Vertebrates begat the Tetrapoda. The Tetrapoda had four feet. And that was the Mississippian Age. The Tetrapoda were the ancestors of all reptiles, the whales, the amphibians, and the mammals.
And the Tetrapoda begat the Reptiliomorpha.
And the Reptiliomorpha begat the Amniota, the egg-bearers. And that was the origin of the Reptiles and Mammals alike.
The Amniota begat the Eupelycosauria.
And the Eupelycosauria begat the Sphenacdontia.
And the Sphenacdontia begat the Sphenacodontoidea.
And the Sphenacodontoidea begat the Therapsida.
And the Therapsida begat the Mammalia.
And the Mammalia begat the Eutheria, the placental mammals.
And the Eutheria begat the Primates.
And the Primates begat the Catarrhini.
And the Catarrhini begat the Hominidae.
And the Hominidae begat Homo Sapiens.
This is the song of the Goddess dreaming
In a timeless place;
This is the voice we hear when we strive to reach heaven,
The realm of the rainbow serpent,
The place where the Goddess walked
In that first dreamtime
In the springtime of existence
When she started the evolution of life.
For we long to reunite with the Goddess
And all her sisters, even though we know it not. |
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Earthdance Black River Falls
Start Time:
Friday, September 17, 2010 at 12:00pm
End Time:
Sunday, September 19, 2010 at 1:00pm
Location:
NCN Campground
City/Town:
Black River Falls, WI
Description:
The Chilluminati, in our 5th year, present a 3 day festival focusing on psychedelic music, art, and culture, all within the Earthdance concept. This is an official and registered Earthdance event.
Earthdance, the Global Dance Festival for Peace has grown to become the world?s largest simultaneous music and dance event. Founded in 1996, with 22 cities and 18 countries participating, Earthdance has grown to over 300 locations in 60 countries participating in 2007, with locations ranging from the club-lands of New York to the rainforests of Brazil. Every year, in alignment with the International Day of Peace, over 200,000 people unite in dance with hundreds of thousands more joining online in support of global peace and humanitarian aims.
The defining moment of each Earthdance event is a synchronized link-up, when every event around the world plays a specially produced song called ?The Prayer for Peace? at exactly the same time.
Earthdance has been described by the music industry as the ?Dance Aid? for the new millennium. The aim of the event is to bring together global communities to create a synchronized global festival and dance event to help fund humanitarian causes and develop an environment of peace throughout the global community.
Earthdance is a non-political event and is organized by Earthdance International, a 501 (c) (3) non-profit organization.
Join us on the Earthdance Network!
http://www.earthdancenetwork.com/group/chilluminati
We, The Chilluminati are guided by:
-Psychedelic trance, chill and ambient are the music that we play.
-Music in itself is a transformative and psychedelic agent.
-Our events are more than music. They are multidimensional, multifaceted trance, visual, art and kinetic performance events. They are experiences.
-Our events are about transformation and becoming. You bring your own sense of spirituality.
-At our events everyone takes responsibility for the gathering, others and themselves.
-Our events have an atmosphere and a vibe. The gathering is a field of energy that connects us. The gathering is a living being.
-Our events are about expressing yourself, being creative, being an individual.
-Our events are inclusive and open.
-Our events are both local and planetary; cultural diverse, reflective of the American Midwest, yet global.
-We respect local laws and customs.
Our gathering is a gift which we all (organizers, artists, musicians and attendees) give to each other.
This is not about money, commercialization and exploitation. This is not a product. We are a community.
Featuring:
Ajja (Switzerland - Peak Records) *LIVE*
Yab Yum (Switzerland - Peak Records) *LIVE*
Dragon (Pensacola, FL - DharmaHarmony) *LIVE*
Earworm (NYC - 3D Vision Rec) *LIVE*
Bioluminescence (Asheville, NC - Pure Perception) *LIVE*
Primordial Ooze (Chicawaukee, WI/IL ? AntiShanti/2to6/Sentimony) *LIVE*
Optic Mind (Duluth, MN - AUM) *LIVE*
Loke (San Francisco, CA - PharPsyde Rec)
Lauryn and Egbot (Philadelphia, PA - Peak Rec)
CinderVomit (Atlanta, GA - Anomalistic)
Medisin (Asheville, NC - Touch Samadhi)
Kameleon/Labrynth (Asheville, NC - Pure Perception)
Androcell (Denver, CO - Celestial Dragon) *LIVE*
Distant System (Denver, CO - Celestial Dragon) *LIVE*
Peaking Goddess Collective (Switzerland - Peak Records) - DJ
Party Foul (Vaski vs Oblivion) (Minneapolis - Rapid Pulse/Rottun Recordings) - DJ
Aligning Minds (Washington DC - Aleph Zero, Transistor, Boltfish) *LIVE*
Suit and Tie Guy (Chillicothe, IL - 1320 Records) *LIVE*
El Chill (Minneapolis, MN - Independent) *LIVE*
OpenSourceCode (USA/Japan - Anomalistic) Live/DJ
Vine Sutra (Chicago, IL - Independent) *LIVE*
Aktif/Spycht/Zensphere/Ascension (Psyowa - Chilluminati/Independent) *LIVE*
Light of Sumeria (Chicago, IL ? Independent) *LIVE*
Mischief (Atlanta, GA - Abstract Logic Rec) *LIVE*
DJ NOD (London, UK- Touch Samadhi)
Dark Matter (Minneapolis, MN - Psyentific)
Brainraider (Minneapolis, MN - Psyentific)
Ekimskrid (Cedar Rapids, IA - Independent)
Gnomes of Destruction (Madison, WI - Audiognomes/Anomalistic)
Psychohazzard (Chicago, IL - Chilluminati/Mind Funk)
Banjankri (Iowa City, IA - Independent)
Strooya (Ames, IA - Independent)
Geal (Chicago, IL - Audiognomes)
Klimax (Milwaukee, WI - Independent)
bTsunami (Iowa City, IA - Independent)
Airyck (Marion, IA - Mystic Morning)
Derby (Chicago, IL - Chilluminati)
Machi (Milwaukee, WI - Chilluminati)
Portal (Chicago, IL - Independent)
Scatter (Beloit, WI - Audiognomes)
Car0 (Iowa City, IA - Independent)
Energon (Chicago, IL - Chilluminati)
Koru (Chicago, IL - Chilluminati)
Robyo (Madison, WI - Audiognomes)
Toki (Madison, WI - Audiognomes)
Deco:
//RENDEZVOUS (Chicago, IL)
UV and Deco Installations
//MINDOUTPSYDE (Psyowa)
Deco and UV Extravaganza
http://www.mindoutpsyde.com/
//PRIMORDIAL BOOBZE
UV Spandex and Light
//((~*GROWTH WORKSHOPS~*))Organized by KORU? get involved at the Chilluminati Forum
plus?
// Fire and dance performances
// Close encounters of the first, second, and third kinds
// Mindblowing UV deco installations both on stage? and off?
// Growth workshops; commune with your fellow psy-goers and learn something in the process!
// Interstellar space travel
// Much, much, more!
// WHEN:
September 17, 18, 19 RAIN or SHINE (enclosed pavilion keeps us dry if it rains) ; gate opens at NOON on Friday (no registrations can be accepted before that time). Ages 18+ only, no children (new campground rules).
// WHERE:
Venue address:
NCN North Campground
N8390 US Hwy 12 & 27
(When using Mapquest enter: N8390 US Hwy 12 Black River Falls, Wisconsin 54615). Using Mapquest is recommended- google maps will not get you to the correct place.
Longitude: -90.67328
Latitude: 44.20615
Earthdance 2010 Black River Falls is an 18 and up event only.
I encourage anyone who can to attend this psy-trance event! Earthdance is a beautiful concept with a positive message. NCN North is an amazing, beautiful location. REAL showers, toilets, and sinks are available, as well as gorgeous pine forest for camping.
Come out, dance, and expand your conciousness with us!
Earthdance events are also taking place ALL OVER THE PLANET this weekend! Visit www.earthdance.org to see if there is a location listed near you and join the Earthdance community! |
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So I have a close friend in a band. This band has put out 4 albums, one video, toured with countless bands which have received fair recognition such as Mindless Self Indulgence, American Head Charge, and Retard-o-bot, and even opened for Oghr.
They have pretty much invented their own genre of music they have dubbed "electro-metal", because they don't really fall neatly into one specific genre that already exists.
These gentlemen are astonishingly talented and are the biggest workaholics I have ever seen in my life. They live for what they do. I honestly can NOT picture these boys doing anything else other than making music.
The problem is, they have yet to really bust out. It seems anyone who hears them in the music industry is afraid to back them up simply because its something new and unusual. I, however, adore things that are unusual ^-^
I love these guys with all my little heart and soul, and want nothing more than to see them make it and achieve their goal of becoming full-time musicians, filling amphitheaters, and never having to play a crappy bar show in a small town ever again. They're my boys.
Now- I have posted in music groups online only to be blown off before, but the cool thing about sites like THIS is that because I am sexy and adorable, you got sucked into reading this... haha! So here's the deal- I am looking for someone who can sign this band. I won't do any "favors" to get them signed, but I will do anything I can to promote them.
If you have any connections in the music biz, I am getting down on my pretty little knees and begging you now... PLEEEEEEASE give this band a listen and do your part to help them out. These guys are NOT a shitty garage band and I am sick of seeing them treated as such. This is some high-quality, arena-metal shit here, and YOU are missing out!!!
SIGN THEM!!!!
Screaming Mechanical Brain
www.myspace.com/smb |
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I have recently been asked about my long list of body modifications so I decided to list them. Below are all my piercings and their guages as well as were I got them...
Lower Ear Lobes: 8g by Clairs
2nd Ear Lobes: 14g by Clairs
Left Conch: 14g by Maggie of Omega Red
Right Conch: 14g by Corey of Mohair Pear
Left Helix: 16g by Atom of Ritual
Right Helix: 16g by Phil of Mohair Pear
Left Nostril: 16g by Corey of Mohair Pear
Right Monroe: 16g by Phil of Mohair Pear
Septum: 16g by Corey of Mohair Pear
Nipples: 16g by Emily of Mohair Pear
Navel: 14g by Corey of Mohair Pear
Clitoral Hood: 14g by Maggie of Omega Red
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I recently had a discussion with another user on which gender is naturally dominant and I suppose is overall "better".
He was convinced that males are naturally dominant. I, however, disagree.
Here is why...
1) Every organism on the planet with the exception of genderless micro-organisms begins it's life before birth as a female. Gentlemen, before you were born up to a certain point you had what resembled female genetalia and your cells were all biologically female. You had ovaries and the beginnings of a uterus. It was only an extra horomone which was produced at a specific point in your development which triggered your body to begin its change to male.
2) All the most advanced social animals are led by females: Elephants, whales, dolphins, lions, bonobos, bees, ants, termites. Each has a social order with a single dominant female at the top. With mammals that female is the matriarch- the grandmother, or even great-grandmother of the entire group. In communal insects that female is the queen who gives birth to each and every member of her colony. In each case the dominant female decides when the group will forage, fight, migrate, breed, etc. Humans are one of the few exceptions.
3) the female body can deal with far more trauma than a male's. Women naturally have more clotting factors in their blood and a higher threshold for pain than men, although many women today are so brainwashed into thinking they are weak that they tend to whimp out far before they ever even really feel any true pain. I performed a flesh pull once with three men, A flesh pull is a ritual in which hooks are pierced through the back or chest of the participants, tied together with rope, and then the participants walk away from each other, pulling on the hooks, streatching and tearing the skin and fat away from the body. My male "superiors" cried like babies. I leaned forward, closed my eyes, and felt truly free, not a sighn of pain on my face. I had no bleeding and no scarring from this event.
4) Females are responsible for forwarding the process of evolution in a species. In the world of animals a male can only mate as long as a female deems him worthy after he proves himself. She chooses only the strongest/healthiest/most clever/most attractive partner to pass his genes onto her offspring. This results in stronger/healthier/ more clever/more attractive animals with better adaptations. In humans it seems to be the opposite- and I have a HUGE problem with this. Thanks to monotheistic religion and the self-concious, insecure, and violent nature of men, women have been reduced to groveling at their mate's feet.
Now the female must compete for their males affections, even if he is not worthy. This has resulted in a race of beings who are stupid/lazy/overweight/violent/greedy/diseased/just generally flawed in every sense of the word. We are murdering our Mother and our brothers and sisters with no true remorse. We will breed with some guy who is a slob simply for money or because he seems more well off than the physically fit, hard working, disease-free gentleman we met some time back. In turn we are passing the slobbery down to our offspring. Personally I think the human race is a disgrace to the legacy of life on planet Earth.
Our technological advances belie the fact that we are fucking ourselves into oblivion. I don't claim myself to be truly human. Because I can see where our race is going I have disowned my own species. I am convinced that I must take this disgusting lump of genetic garbage and find a way to return it to its original role on this planet. We are animals, and because of that we cannot live the way we are. We must continue the process of evolution and weed out the weak genetic lines by being selective about what mates we choose and what we teach our children. We must find our place in the world again by abandoning civilization.
In the end, if this happens, many will die, but those who make it will pass on their genetics when a female sees that they are the best possible mate with the traits necessary for survival.
5) Ever heard the term "Mother Earth"? Where do you think each of us came from? Scientists have mastered cloning, IVF, and decoded the human genome- all things encompassing the male's side of reproduction, but they have yet to replicate the womb successfully. It is the one thing we must have in order to be born. It feeds us nutrients and oxygen, it protects us, helps our muscles and lungs mature, shields our eyes and tender skin as we develop, and allows us to grow in a weightless environment until we can take our first breath.
6) Scientists believe females are the origin of society as well as the first forms of religion.
A man may try to twist the meaning of things to show he is dominant, but the female is in control from the moment the Great Mother sets her on this Earth. We don't need to manipulate anything. |
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Well I am healed for the most part...
This weekend I will be attending a festival called Sacred Earth Open Air in Black River Falls, Wisconsin. Hopefully I will have some time to myself to meditate, pray, and partake in the sacred ritual of the trance-dance.
When I get thinking about how psy-trance has helped me I am truly in awe of how a subculture and a music genre has changed my way of seeing the world.
It has aided me in understanding my emotions, my social situations, and my faith- especially my theories on the neverending flow of energy in the universe. Psy-trance culture has become a true blessing to me.
Unfortunately, many in this community do not understand the extent to which I love this culture. This is my home. These are my brothers and sisters. This is my culture.
The theories and practices I have been introduced to through the psy scene have become part of my religious practice and my everyday life. I am not willing to give that up for anything.
I am on my way to cleaning all the ickyness from my body in preperation for my journey this weekend. I will see any attendees there.
The Lady be with you all. |
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Just had my tonsils removed a few days ago. I'm feeling pretty good, minus some minor pain in my throat. I can speak, though I am very hoarse. I have been enjoying mostly soups, oatmeal, scrambled eggs, popsicles, and puddings. I'm really hungry for solid food, but I'll have to wait a while longer.
I want everyone to know I am doing just fine. I am taking it easy and having a very relaxing time recovering in a small town on the Mississippi river in the shadow of beautiful forests and cliffs. I get to see bald eagles every day and hear cute little bats outside my window every night.
I feel like something in my lie has changed. I am just so relaxed and happy. I feel that connection to the Great Mother again the way I haven't felt in a long time. I can feel my body, mind, and spirit healing.
In a couple weeks I will be attending Sacred Earth Open Air in Black River Falls, WI. While there I will be participating in the trance-dance experience and numorous healing workshops. I highly reccomend it for those who feel a tadd spiritually lost to attend and potentially find a new path in life. Infor can be found about SEOA on www.iowa-massive.com or www.mindoutpsyde.com
I hope to meet many new people and for us to help each other heal. |
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I am starting my heat today. I can already feel my body changing and readying itself. Its quite lovely compared to the opposite end of my cycle.
I can feel my skin becoming smoother, my hair turning softer, my nails getting stronger. I am developing more energy.
...and as for down there... Well lets just say I have ruined 2 pairs of panties today...lol.
I wish I had a daddy to help settle my uncontrolable urges. |
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I'm prepping for a psy-festival in Wisconsin called Sacred Earth Open Air. Everyone should go there- even if you aren't interested in me...
Check it out on www.iowa-massive.com |
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Laying here in bed. Just took 2 vicodin (I just got my wisdom teeth out... owie) and I'm feeling pretty good. Really woozie but soft/warm.
Someone to snuggle would be really nice.
Anyway- yes, unfortunately I am one of those people who occasionally pops a pill to be happy... Among other things. I plan on stopping once I find my special someone. I am no stranger to the things that get passed around at raves ad psy parties.
I know it sounds awful, but I really don't partake in stuff much. Once every 3-4 months is enough for me, and I also research anything I plan on trying.
Certain substances are even sacred to my spiritual path, so those are used even less often and in conjunction with sacred rituals.
I believe it is fair to warn whoever is interrested in me of this little fact. No- I am not a drug-addict/junkie/tweaker. Yes- I, like most people, occasionally experiment. Yes- I do plan on being done with it eventually. |
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I'll be starting my heat tomorrow... not looking forward to being horney, cold, and alone. |
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I just had one user choose to message me and insult the rave culture which I am a proud part of. I have long been involved in the psy-trance rave scene which originated in India in the 80's and was introduced to the US as people traveled back and forth between the two countries. The psy-trance culture stresses non-violence, spiritual awareness, togetherness, and an ancient ritual known as the "trance-dance experience" which is the oldest religious rite known to mankind, as well as the most universal.
It is not a giant drug party.
There are NEVER ANY acts of violence carried out at these events.
We all know each other. Just because we live for a few weekends a year does not make us "lonely people". What do the rest of you live for?
Psy-trance has opened my eyes to an entirely new way of thinking. It has effected my spiritual beliefs and altered them into what you see below. It has given me the ability to see beyond what is, and find what could be. Above all, it has saved my life. It is the singular greatest spiritual experience of my life.
This users comments to me have shown his ignorance. He has obviously never been part of the trance-dance experience and more than likely never will due to his own irrational fears.
I feel sorry for these people. |
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I think I am feeling much better lately. I just got done performing a rite to honor the Mother Goddess (Yes- I am a Goddess worshipper).
I am a practicing shaman, specializing in spirit healing- meaning the healing of the mind and soul.
I have performed exorcisms, helped in guided meditations, purified people's homes, and been a spiritual consultant for those with loved ones in the process of passing away.
Funny how performing a simple ritual and realizing how all things are connected makes me feel better. I know that many people I meet have problems understanding the way I see the Creator and the spiritual world. To make things a bit more simple- I see it like this...
Every molecule- and in fact, every particle of every molecule in existance, has spiritual energy (a soul). The universe contains molecules so vast in number, we will never count them, so forget trying to measure it. The human mind is too simple to grasp something like that...
Anyway- all molecules have spirituale energy, and all things are made of molecules. Molecules are not made or destroyed in their raw form. They are only recycled.
All this spiritual energy together is what makes up what most people call "God". It is a balanced, intertwined system so vast and complex that no creature can understand it fully. As beings die, their bodies break down and become the soil, which are absorbed by bacteria, plants, and decomposers to be assimilated into new bodies. even waste becomes something else in time.
When we are born, every atom of our bodies was once something else. As our mother ate, drank, and breathed, she absorbed molecules (and their energies) which went into constructing a new human being. When our cells die, we eat and drink in order to regain the molecules lost in order to replace those cells and continue living. When we die, our bodies then break down to begin the process all over again.
The image of the Goddess is intended to be a representation of the perpetual cycle of life, death, and rebirth which is taking place every millisecond since the beginning of time.
Through this process we are all connected- Humans, animals, plants, fungi, bacteria, viruses, lichens, rocks, soil, water, dust, air... Every molecule has the potential to become part of a living being.
We are far from lonely, disconnected individuals, wandering blindly throughout this world... We are connected. There is no distinction between any one of us ad the next person, being, or substance we come into contact with.
We are one giant super-organism, depending on this cycle to continue properly in order to continue to function smoothly.
Wow... I really need to write while listening to chilled psy-trance more often.
Mull that over for a while. Trust me- it took me years to develop this theory, and its STILL growing. |
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I have reached a point in my cycle at the moment that isn't very fun for me. I am very depressed. I have no one to offer any of my affection to, so my instinct to nurture and care for someone has no outlet for the time being. It makes me feel very empty- emotionally and physically.
I would like to think that being bred would end those feelings of depression, but there is only one problem...
When would I stop? |
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Found something online that just disturbed the hell out of me... Some woman thought it would be a cool idea to get stray cats, pierce their ears and necks, and then sell them online as "goth kittens".
WHAT THE FUCK!?
If there is one thing that truly sickens and angers me, it is animal cruelty. I can honestly say that I would have no problem rendering a person into little more than a mangled pile of meat if I caught them harming an innocent animal. In my eyes, it is the same as harming a baby.
I have to offer a prayer before I consume meat as a means of apoligising to the soul of an animal and explaining to it why it's life was taken... And I still feel guilty for eating it!
People must not have souls. -At least not this woman.
*note* ANY future master of mine will loose his dick if I catch him hurting an animal! |
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I thought I should describe my appearance more. I have a pic, but no picture works for me very well, since I change the way I look quite often.
I am 5 ft even and 110 lbs. I have a 24 inch waist, and a 34B bra size.
So I am VERY tiny.
I am very pale because too much sun actually makes me sick. I like the outdoors as long as I have some place to shelter from too much sun, or a parasol or some kind of protective clothing.
I have what I call the classic Bettie Page hairstyle. Long dark hair with baby-doll bangs. It may change colors once in a while, but I love my bangs and plan to keep them as long as I can.
I have 16 piercings... Left and right helixes, left and right conches, left and right lobes, left and right second lobes. left nostril, septum, right monroe, tongue webbing, both nipples, navel, and clitoral hood. I plan on a few more.
I like to dress in ways that make me stand out. I love Japanese and rave inspired fashion, as well as 80's goth inspired.
I wear platform shoes to make me taller and because I think they're cute.
My clothing is very kiddie-fashion inspired and usually form-fitting. When I am eventually bred I doubt my current clothes will fit me for quite some time, however, I am not bothered by the idea of having a big, growing tummy. I actually look forward to it, and making my Daddy/dom happy. |
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So I want people to know a bit more about me sexually. Hm- Where do I start?
In the past I have had relationships with mostly males. Due to the fact that most of the men who are attracted to me are notoriously weak, I either want a lady, or a guy who is much stronger/braver than me.
I really don't want anyone too much older than me, since I am looking for someone to spend my life with and NOT just play with.
I want someone who will still let me go raving. Someone who doesn't mind, or even likes that I dress like I'm 5 years old.
I should probably explain my mental disorder too. I have PTSD- Post-Tramatic Stress Disorder. It originated with a miscarriage I had when I was only 17. This could probably explain why I have a compulsion to hold stuffed animals when I sleep. It also causes me terrible nightmares and an occasional panic attack. The experience left me severely mentally scarred. It also more than likely explains my drive to breed, perhaps trying to fill the void left by the loss of my first baby.
It also has caused some unusual changes in my body. I can actually tell what stage of my cycle I am in. I go into heat about one week out of every month, usually around the full moon. A week AFTER the end of my heat I become unusually docile and nurturing, and will even lactate (BTW, I love it when my partner will nurse from me. It feels so amazing and rewarding). This stage lasts about anther week until I start to menstrate.
...Then I turn into a bitch... Nuff said about that.
A lot of people ask me what my best fantasy would be. I want someone to take me away and keep me almost as a pet. I'll be given everything I could ever want, provided I'm a good girl for them. I'd be taken care of, pampered, spoiled, and so on, in return for my affections and giving my partner what he/she would want from me. Eventually my partner would make me theirs perninently. After a while they would get me pregnant (yes- If my mate ends up being a female, I want to be the one to carry any children) and the entire time my mate would take care of and spoil me. I have a genetic trait to have twins, so my partner will HAVE to take care of me, since I have such a small build, I probably won't be able to move on my own very well with how big I'll get.
I want someone who can be a wonderful parent too. I want to be a mommy more than anything, but I can't do that alone.
I know the idea of having kids turns a lot of guys off- and even some ladies, but I hope on a site like this I can find someone who wants the same things I do. |
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So I've been single since late June, and its bumming me out. I occasionally get together with this metal vocalist for a night of fun, but we never call ourselves a couple.
I'd really like to be able to find my mate sometime in the near future. I'm at that age where I am seriously considering marriage, kids, and that whole thing, but no one I meet ever wants the same thing.
I hate guys my age :( |
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So I've decided some pet-play would be fun. I wonder what it would be like to be kept in a cage, fed, babied, and all that jazz.
Maybe I should ask my band vocalist boy-toy to try some of this with me...
:P |
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So... This would be my journal, eh? Spiffy!
So- Tank (TankGirl- yep just like the movie/comic. It's my rave-name) is my name and I am new to pretty much ALL of this!
I've Played with a friend a bit before- Tieing him up, spanking him, calling him names, letting him do stuff to my feet/shoes, fingering him- but thats about the extent of it.
I like both makes and females. My past relationships have mostly been males, and lately they're starting to piss me off a bit.
I know I like being taken care of- kindof like a pet. I love cuddling, showing my partner affection and all that jazz, but I like it to be returned.
I'm really trying to find my mate- be them male or female... Someone I can see myself not only having fun with, but also staying together and having a family with- Yes- I want kids. I think it would be something wonderful if my mate would take care of me while I'm pregnant. Nothing icky- just very sweet. I'm not used to being treated with much affection :(
Anywho- message me if you wanna get to know me. I'm kinda shy tho :P |
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| Age: 33 |
| Tel Aviv,
Israel |
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