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slaveisabellekc

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*** NOTE***
This girl is owned and collared and not looking to serve anyone except Master. Dom/mes, if you contact the girl and you are unknown to her you will not get a response. Master's profile is bdsmsparky on this site.
*** END NOTE ***

Greetings Everyone,

Much has changed in my life since putting together my profile some time back and it has been pointed out by a number of people that it’s time for an updated profile. So, here goes...

First, thanks for taking the time to look at my profile, hope you enjoy reading it, and come away with a better understanding of whom the person behind the words is. Allow me to introduce myself, i am slave isabelle.

What about me might others find interesting?

I'm a parent, a lover, a mother
I love life...for life is love
I do not fear death...for death is just a new beginning
I know many things...yet I am always learning
I go through life with eyes of wonder...for the world is full of such beauty
I go through life with nightmares...for the world is full of nighmares

When you get down to it...I am me.

I could bore you with menial statics like:
I'm 5'8", 125 pounds, 36B-26-36, blue eyes, black hair...

But that's not me...that's just the packaging I happen to come in...what truly matters it what's inside the packaging...

The person who cries at a good commercial
And yells when I see injustice

I am a poet, a philosopher, a photographer, a writer, a lover, many things...

i am 5' 8", 130 pounds, 34B-26-36, black hair, blue eyes, etc. I wear a size 2/3 and a woman's size 7 1/2 shoe, i also have small hands, in short other then my height i am extremely small. i loss bracelets frequently because they simply fall off my wrist...

i have been in this lifestyle since i was 17 and have been the property of others continuously since i was 19 1/2, so this for me is not about play, but rather it is the way i have chosen to live my life. In my journey, i have had one mentor; two owners; one protector; and one temporary owner who helped find my second owner. In order to enslave this girl, You must first enslave my mind and heart...the body will follow. i submit to a person first and foremost, not some list of kinks and limits. While important, for me it is about the person and a connection to that person.

Quote of the moment:
”To have someone give you control of their bodies and minds, to be entrusted with the responsibility to take care of them, to have someone willing to suffer for you, to forsake pride and dignity to please you...what other gift in this world can possibility equate to that? And more importantly, what makes you worthy to receive it?" - Anonymous

The girl has found a Master to serve and is in service to Him. Sir is pleased with the girl and the girl is pleased to be His. It took just over a year to find a new Owner and it was a rather difficult year too, but it was something the girl needed to go through to become a stronger, better slave in the long run. Sir has placed rules on the girl about communicating with Dom/mes that are unknown to her, so please talk to Sir first before messaging the girl. Sir is BDSMSparky on this site and may be reached that way.

Peace and love,
slave isabelle owned and collared by Sir Rick

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10/7/2008 2:19:27 PM

Life goes on

Greetings Everyone,

It has been a while since I have posted much to my blog and given my last personal blog entry (Believe in dreams posted September 15, 2008) was talking about thoughts of suicide, depression, and other things I thought it time to post about how things have been going. Since I am writing this, obviously those thoughts of suicide stayed just that…namely thoughts. Life often feels like the image to the left, a walk down a lonely path.

As with most things in life there were a number of items that all occurred at the same time which is what lead me down the path of depression. If only one or two of the things had happened at once, I doubt I would have had the issues but I was overloaded and got into a what-if spiral that never lead anywhere good! While I am more the capable of handling a good many things thrown into my path, this past year has been an ultra marathon test of my abilities to cope. So, just what set off my latest round of depression?

It all started with a sequence of events, one building upon the other. The Sunday before hitting bottom, I made a trip back up to the hinterlands of the north to retrieve some items left behind at my last place of residence. While I love and care greatly for the people who had put me up in a spare bedroom for a period, they are absolute slobs, had 20-plus dogs that they let live inside their house, and just opening the car door knocked me off my feet. Being a good girl I socialized for a bit and took them out to a nice lunch in town before loading up the car with the majority of my worldly possessions and heading back to where I had been staying. Let's just say I was extremely relieved to get the heck out of dodge as it were, back into the city, closer to friends, closer to possible jobs, etc. I felt like I was living a life of exile up there, unable to go or do anything. As a side note, I worked my little backside off trying to keep that place clean when I lived there, but with 20+ dogs living in the house, none of which were house broken, there was no getting rid of the smell. Aside from a can of gasoline, a match and burning the building to the ground; no amount of cleaning could get the smell gone; believe me I tried!

Monday morning I awoke to a bad smell. The clothes I had retrieved from the house up north all smelled of the house and had infected the rest of my room. It wasn't just a slight odor either but rather could be smelled from outside of my room. This meant that every item of clothing needed washing; when one has been out of work for over a year, simply coming up with money to do laundry can be a major issue. Luckily, the Dom who has been serving as my Protector offered to let me use His washer and drier. So, this really should not have been an issue, but it was just the start of a bad day.

Now confession time; having been out of work for 17-months at this point one sometimes does things they might otherwise find repugnant, distasteful, and perhaps by the views of some illegal. But, one does need to be able to eat, put a roof over their heads, etc. and being from what I am told an attractive tgirl, I ended up making money the old fashion way or as some call it via the oldest profession. This past year and a half has been an extremely difficult time and yet I have learned so much about myself at the same time. So namely, I had been working as an independent transsexual escort.

I thought I could compartmentalize the psychological impacts this was having on me, but my submissive/slave traits always came screaming through in my work. The whole concept of compartmentalizing wasn't working. While I did not dislike the work, I had finally reached the point of not being able to bring myself to continue doing it. This simple decision had far-reaching implications for the life I had been slowly rebuilding back in the city, namely it meant it would have to end. This only added to what had started out to be a rather bad day and if it had happened by itself, I most likely could have handled it.

It was when the realization that I would have to pack up and move back into that spare bedroom at the house in the hinterlands that my morning took a real downward turn. I decided I would rather simply kill myself then to return to that hellhole. This was when the what-if downward spiral of thinking started. Every thought lead to yet another dark, depressing scenario, which in turn would bring up another what-if and before long I was in a free fall into depression.

By this point, I had simply curled up into a ball on my bed and found myself crying uncontrollably, unable to think and to see any possible paths out of the situation. I started to shut down. Luckily that was when I got a call from Sir (Sir is not my owner, but rather a very close Dom friend who has taken on the role of Protector; never having been un-owned before Sir plays an important part of helping me to stay centered, balanced, etc. Well, usually). I don't know how Sir does it, but Sir seems to have this ability to know exactly when I need to talk to Him.

Sir knew instantly that something was wrong (must have been the 'I don't want to talk about it'), but I refused to talk to Sir about it at this point. He didn't pressure too much for Sir knows I will talk to Him in time. Having been slave for so long I must have someone in my life that I am transparent too; I know that sounds strange but in a sense it has become a part of me and to keep things inside is not possible any more. I also do not have a filter either; what comes to mind comes out. Mind you, it comes out in a polite respectful manner, but out it comes. I knew Sir was working a convention and after hanging up with Sir I dressed and headed out to the general area of where Sir was working. Before showing up unannounced, I called Sir to ask if I could please see Him. Funny thing was Sir was 'expecting' me. As a side note, I have a standing order that if I ever feel suicidal or like harming myself I am to find Sir and present myself to Him; being a five time survivor of suicide attempts this is not a bad rule.

"What's up girl?" Sir asked when I got there, but there were too many people around.

"Sir, sorry for bothering You at work, but I really need to talk with You." I said. I didn't realize I had started crying yet again until Sir reached out and wiped a tear from my face. And yes, even in my state of mind I was apologize to Sir for interrupting Him at work, taking up His time, etc. Here I am in nuclear meltdown and worried about imposing on Him.

"I can see that." He muttered as he scanned the area looking for His boss and telling His boss that He would be back after lunch.

Once we got to His hotel room, He looked at me, opened His arms, I wrapped my arms around Him and burst into tears crying uncontrollably while He gently held me. He always seems to instinctively know what I need at any particular moment which is both nice and comforting and completely unsettling at times.

I was not left alone except for brief periods over the next couple of day. This all transpired on Monday, Thursday I packed up my room, loaded the car and am homeless at this time. Between Sir and a number of others in the area, I have managed to stay constantly around people since then. I also find myself currently parked out on Sir's sofa; but that I fear is only postponing my return to that spare bedroom in the hinterlands of the north.

At the moment I find myself still in a bit of a depression, but most of that is situational in cause. Not having a job, not having a home, being dependent upon others for just about everything, unsure of what the future may hold, and a ton of other things are taking a serious toll on me. That is not to say that there have not been some positive things in the weeks since that day, but those are deserving of posts of their own...

Peace and love,
slave isabelle


9/15/2008 10:02:14 PM

Greetings Everyone,



It has not been the best of times these past few days and I found myself curled up in a ball crying uncontrollably today while thoughts of suicide danced through my mind. Yes, it was a really bad day it would seem; thoughts I thought I had finally gotten past but it would seem thoughts of suicide, self-harm, hopelessness, despair, loneliness, and just feeling like crap are still with me. What caught me off guard was the intensity of these feelings, for I thought I was doing so well.

Sometimes it is easy to loss our dreams, vision, direction, and will to go on. Having now been out of work for 18-months, separated for 14-months, not having seen my kids in 12-months, and facing daily discrimination because I am a transsexual it is amazing I have made it as far as I have in one piece. But I have a dream; the dream to live my life as it was meant to be; the dream of being true to myself; the dream of being accepted for who I am; the dream of moving on with my life; the dream of finding love; the dream of happiness; but most of all, I believe in dreams…


Believe in dreams…

I know
Days will come and go
Maybe I'll grow old
But I will die

For now
Is it worth it to be sad
If it's harder to be glad
To be alive

But the trouble I have caused
I wonder
Where do I belong?
Is it here?

Believe in dreams
You love so much
Let the passion of your heart
Make them real
And tell
All the ones you love
Anything and everything you feel

Laugh about the past
And secretly
Wish we could go back
And save the child

As I look around this room
Seeing worried eyes I know
It's time we cannot buy
Was this worth the time to write?
Was this worth the time to write?

Believe in dreams
I believe in dreams
I believe in dreams
I believe in you

Believe in dreams
You love so much
Let the passion of your heart
Make them real
And tell
All the ones you love
Anything and everything you feel

Believe in dreams
Believe in dreams

Peace and love,
slave isabelle


6/22/2008 8:24:08 PM

Universe – 5/slave isabelle - 0

Greetings Everyone!

Well, sometimes we all have one of those days; a day where it would seem the universe has completely different plans for us then what we had originally set out to accomplish. Today was just such a day for this girl! There was nothing this girl could do today that seemed to go right; luckily this girl is currently unowned and need not fear punishment from one's owner!

For some reason, this girl had a very difficult time sleeping last night, if she did sleep in at all. There is nothing worse the starting out one's day with little to no sleep, it just seems to set everything up wrong for the day. No amount of coffee helps on these types of days and this girl is limited to only one pot of coffee per day as it is (self imposed rule). So when it came time to get up to start one's day of chores, this girls behind was already seriously dragging. Universe – 1/slave isabelle – 0

Perhaps a bit of background will help before proceeding too far into the saga of today. When this girl was released last July, she simply exchanged one form of servitude for another...that as the slave/property of her former Mistress, for that of household slave for an elderly couple with health problems. Now, mind you there is no D/s or M/s aspects at place in this current arrangement, but this girl is slave just the same. In exchange for this girls services, tending to their needs, doing chores, driving them to appointments, etc. this girl receives free room, board and access to a car when the need arises. So as one can see, this girl has simply exchanged one form of service for another; no they are not equal in this girls eyes since her current situation does not entail the much needed M/s aspects she thrives on.

Since the beginning of spring this year, the house mower has been out of commission for a number of mechanical reasons. While some would simply say, fix it or replace it, it is not within this girls ability to fix anything mechanical; actually quite the opposite! At least this girl has been able to sweet talk one of the neighbors to mow the lawn twice since it started to grow, but it is currently about knee high. This past weekend while this girl was staying with a Dom friend, one of this girl's owner's brother-in-law dropped off a new rider mower (new to the household that is). So this morning before the heat of the day got to be too much, this girl headed out to mow the lawn. This mower has to be as old, if not older then this girl (OK, let it go!). Taking about 15-minutes to familiarize herself with the mower's operations, levers, buttons, etc this girl started the mower up. So far so good! Well, about 20-minutes into what usually takes about 2-hours the mower seemed to develop a mind of its own and would not go anywhere this girl steered. Finally getting the mower back to the driveway, this girl discovered that the front wheels where turned…in opposite directions. Hum, don't think that is supposed to happen! That put an end to this girl's chore of mowing the lawn. Universe – 2/slave isabelle – 0

Not able to continuing the mowing, this girl resolved herself to tending to the garden. The weeds seem to grow faster then anything and where chocking out many of the desirable plants, so weeding was in order. Now, mind you that this girl weeds by hand, bending over, pulling the weeds and then depositing them in a pile outside of the garden for later collection and disposal. Well, about 45-minutes into the weeding process, this girl stood up only to see a world that was turning hazy and spinning wildly out of control. Taking a step towards the house, this girl found her footing unsure and she was covered from head to toe in sweat. Not just a light glistening, no rather she was soaked through all of this girls clothing. Yep, it had gotten hotter, quicker then this girl had realized and that old summer devil known has heat exhaustion had taken hold. Luckily, this girl managed to stumble back to the house and some large glasses of water. Universe – 3/slave isabelle – 0

In the state of dizziness from the heat, this girl had failed to notice the rash that had broken out on her arms, legs and about any other exposed piece of skin. It would seem there is something in the garden that this girl is VERY allergic too and what ever it is, this girl had managed to get it all over her. Washing only seemed to cause it to spread which leads this girl to believe it is some kind of oil from a plant. Universe – 4/slave isabelle – 0

Well, all that outdoor activities had gotten this girl a bit hungry, so this girl decided to make a large salad for lunch. Now, salads are this girls comfort food; strange to some (or so this girl has been told) but not to this girl. For this girl a salad is so much more then lettuce; things like olives, artichoke hearts, carats, celery, onions, jalapeño peppers, and what ever else sounds good goes into this girls salad. The only problem is that most of those items need to be cut; so out comes the cutting board and this girl's chef's knife. For those of Y/you who are not familiar with a chef's knife, they are extremely sharp! So, while cutting some olives to add to this girls salad, it would seem the tip of her thumb decided to jump in the way of said chef's knife...creating a very nice, clean, deep cut on this girls left-hand thumb. Universe – 5/slave isabelle – 0

At this point, this girl was banished to her room for fear of what might possibly go wrong next. This girl seems to have this ability to cause mechanical things to break in some way when she is using them and on occasion, this girl only need cross the path of a mechanical device to cause it problems. The household vacuum is just on such device, all this girl need do is look at the bloody thing and poof, it's not working correctly!

So, there you have it, the universe most definitely had other plans for this girl today! Universe – 5/slave isabelle – 0

Peace and love,
slave isabelle



4/23/2008 8:13:17 PM
Normally i do not give much weight to personality tests and the such...but...OMG this is so accurate it's scary.

Your Personality Type

slaveisabellekc has an Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiver (INFP) personality commonly referred to as "The Idealistic philosopher".

About Your Personality Type
Imagine a deep lush valley, caressed by flowers and trees that eternally blossom, inhabited by animals that serve as gentle companions and by people who spend their days loving, creating, and selflessly serving humanity. This is the world of the rare (only about 3 percent of the population) Idealistic Philosopher: the person who is forever striving to live in a perfect world where love and harmony abound.

INFP when in love

As an idealistic Philosopher, you believe that love requires a profound emotional and spiritual connection. You may also believe that, to attain this desired state, you will have to endure a great deal of pain and sacrifice. Yet all the suffering will be worth it once you find your perfect love. When that blessed day comes, you will be a complete person, as you and your partner will work together to make the world a better place. In the beginning of a relationship, you tend to idealize your mate as the greatest person in the world; you'd easily give up your life for him or her. Later, when reality intrudes, you may find yourself disappointed as you realize that no real human being can match the fantastic images of love and romance you created in your imagination. Fortunately, despite your disillusionment, you somehow recover and begin to accept the flaws of your partner, ever so slowly, while still wishing you could change him or her into the perfect image you had when you first fell in love.

INFP where to meet

Where can you meet an Idealistic Philosopher? Idealistic Philosophers love writing, psychology, the arts, and relationships, and are drawn to activities that involve a crusade or mission. You can bump into them at bookstores, especially in sections related to the preceding topics. You can also find Idealistic Philosophers at the theater, art galleries, and museums - often walking slowly, by themselves, lost in their thoughts.

Oh well, just thought i would share a bit more of myself...hum...sharing of myself doesn't really seem to be a problem actually...

Peace and love,
slave isabelle

4/16/2008 4:26:43 PM
You may be submissive if...

-If you see a "Mix-Master" in the store and think it's a new self-stimulating toy, you may be a submissive.

-If you hear the drinking toast "Bottoms up!" and instantly obey, you may be a submissive.

-If you are more concerned about the skin on your ass then that on your face you may be a submissive.

-If you get excited when you see an ad for "Flag Day" because you think someone misspelled a word, you may be a submissive.

-If a friend of yours tells you she can't get out of the house because she's all tied up....and you get jealous, you may be a submissive.

-If you walk by dog obedience classes and offer to demonstrate from the dog's perspective, you may be a submissive.

-If stocks and bonds fascinate you, but you could not care less what happens on Wall Street, you may be a submissive.

-If you smile and think of a thin, flexible rod when you hear the word "switch", you may be a submissive.

-If you think the best part of going to church is getting to kneel, you may be a submissive. (The same holds true if you make up extra sins at confession so you can get a heavier penance).

-If you get excited while looking through the cooking implements draw
of the kitchen, you may be a submissive.

If you visit Alcatraz, stand for hours in a dark cell, and come out flushed and smiling, you may be a submissive.

-If you hear the term "House Whip" on CNN and then get disappointed that they're talking about politics, you may be a submissive.

- If you go to the paint store just for the stir sticks, you may be a submissive.

-If you hear a confused person say, "Beat me!" and you automatically yell out "Me next!," you may be a submissive.

-If you actually wish your Mastercard would give you orders, you may be a submissive.

-If you anxiously wait to get from publishing houses the form letter stating "Thank you for your submission.", you may be a submissive.

-If you think that the three basic materials for bed sheets are linen, silk and leather, you may be a submissive (or at the least, kinky in general)

-If you're envious of the neighbor dog's new spike collar & leash, you may be a submissive.

-If you call your personal vibrator "Sir," you may be a submissive.

-If you go to the pet store, look at the leather collars, and pick out two or three that match some outfits you own, you may be a submissive!

-If you think your panties look best on you when pulled down around your knees, you may be a submissive.

-If you see a road sign displaying, "Chains required" and wonder if that means, whips are optional, you may be a submissive.

-If you can't make up your mind, you may be a submissive.

-If you read a headline about sub warfare, and picture two naked women cat-fighting over a handsome Dom, you may well be a submissive.

-If your closet is full of knee pads, but you don't play sports, you may be submissive.

-If you dream of a beautiful leather jacket with a full face hood, you may be a submissive.

-If you think "I've always wanted to see what pony gear looks like ON someone!" when a Bridal Fashion Show is to be held in your town, you may be submissive.

4/15/2008 9:04:57 PM
A Slave is Not A Submissive

A submissive explores the piquant terrain of the surrendering of power. It is not surprising that folks engaged in D/s often spend a fair amount of energy determining what are the appropriate bounds of submission and control to incorporate into their play. For those for whom this kind of power exchange is a lifestyle expression, the scope of dominance and submission excercised may be quite extensive.

Into this mix then often comes the tricky word of "slave" – a concept which never fails to muddy the water, especially in discussions on the internet or among kinksters with limited D/s experience. While some people insist that the word "slave", like the word "submissive", can mean to the individual anything they want it to mean, it is neverthless a fact of the established and more experienced leather community that slavery in an M/s sense of the word has specific connotations, and that slavery differs from submission in significant ways. I want to explore those differences here and illustrate why I believe that a submissive and a slave are two entirely different creatures, as unlike as apples and oranges.

Definitions

To start this conversation I will offer a definition of submissive and slave first put forth by Steven Davis on the old alt.sex.bondage newsgroup on Usenet in 1995, paraphrased here with permission. (Also, when speaking of D/s which is a gender-neutral endeavor, I tend to use the gender neutral pronouns of sie and hir in my discussion. I write for an audience that spans many orientations and I find it helps avoid the pattern of thinking of D/s as happening in any one set of gender configurations). That said:

A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon hir. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon hir to obey.

I am fond of this definition because it describes not only my personal experience of submission and slavery, but with some minimal qualification also applies to every submissive or slave relationship I have known of. To elaborate, then....

Submission

At the heart of submission is the choice to submit and the option to say "No". The submissive decides how much authority sie will cede to another, how much control sie will bow to, and what aspects of hir life sie will surrender to the dominant's command. Submissive power exchange is about choice: about the option to decide how one feels about a demand and what one is going to do about it. At any point that the sub is not comfortable with this arrangement, it is within hir rights to say "No, I'm not going to do that", and this becomes a signal to the couple that they need to renegotiate something. It does not completely derail the power dynamic between them.

A submissive chooses to submit and has the option to say 'no' in at least one aspect of hir life.

A submissive who is controlled in large tracts of hir life – hir sexuality, work, dress, social habits, etc - may fall into a space of obedience where orders in those arenas are never mulled over or reassessed (in the sense of "renewing the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon hir"). I contend that this is not counter to the definition I offer above but a special subset thereof: even for such a closely-controlled submissive, there remains some area of hir life or aspect of hir person where sie retains autonomy, or where it is hir option to decide if sie wishes to submit in the moment.

In short: a submissive chooses to submit and has the option in some area or another to say "no" to a dominant command.

Slavery

How, then, does consensual slavery differ from submission?

First and foremost, slavery hinges upon a commitment to obedience. The slave does not revisit issues such as "should I submit?" or "How do I feel about that? Will I say yes or no?" When a dominant order is issued, whether or not the slave agrees with it, sie is obedient in the same manner that a soldier is who has enlisted in the Army. (That military analogy is one of several I think holds very true for the power dynamics of M/s relationships.)

Secondly, in consensual slavery a person gives themselves over to the control of another as completely as is humanly possible. This means not only a high degree of obedience, but that there is actually a chattel property context to the relationship. I refer not to a legal relationship, of course, but to a mutual understanding of ownership and property status that arises between the parties. While both slaves and submissives are often fondly referred to as "property", in the sense of consensual slavery the slave becomes literally (by mutual agreement) the property of the Owner. It is not unheard of for slaves to be sold by an Owner and to go willingly to their new Master or Mistress.

A slave commits to obey. A 'no' becomes a dealbreaker in a way it can never be for a submissive.

Thirdly, a slave cannot say "No" without completely abrogating the very basis of the Master/slave agreement. A "No" from a slave is a terminal deal-breaker in a way that it is not for a submissive. One analogy I offer is this: a submissive is like an employee in the workplace, who can protest directives and hope to resolve conflict with management (the dominant). A slave, on the other hand, is like a soldier who, if sie disobeys orders, has put hirself in a position of mutiny with much more dire consequences to hir relationship to the military (the Owner) than if sie were a civilian disputing a less-controlling authority. The military cannot function if command authority is questioned, and neither can a Master/slave relationship.

Earlier I said, "The submissive decides how much authority sie will cede to another, how much control sie will bow to, and what aspects of hir life sie will surrender to the dominant's command." Slavery differs in this regard: these decisions are not made by the slave, but by the Owner for the slave, after the general commitment to obedience is in place.

There is much more to be said about the characteristics and nuances of consensual slavery, which I get into in other essays dedicated to the topic. But I believe the above serves to illustrate the key differences in the submission and obedience factors of sub and slave.

Not a Spectrum

Submissives are commonly viewed as falling upon a spectrum. At one end is one who submits very little or only in scene-delimited context; at the other, one who submits as a constant in a lifestyle context and is very controlled, and everyone else falls somewhere in between.

A big error occurs, I believe, when people assume that a slave is simply another point on that spectrum, a more extreme form of submissive than is found in the ordinary range of submission. I think this is to fundamentally misunderstand the internal dynamics of slavery. A slave is not an ueber-sub, someone "more" submissive than the "ordinary" submissive. For that matter, a slave may not even be submissive at all. Slavery is not about submission or submissive behaviors. It is about obedience.

There are other characteristics unique to slaves that distinguish them from submissive mentalities and reflect a different kind of internal wiring. I will touch upon those in other essays as well.

"Slave" Used Loosely

The word "slave" has a lot of charge to it. It has erotic juice for those who would be love slaves or service slaves. It has cultural charge around the non-consensual chattel slavery history experienced by blacks in this country. It is shunned by those who do not like the cultural baggage, and embraced by those who like the eroticism that the word suggests.

Slavery as I use it here and as much (most?) of the M/s community employ it, has a distinctive character. It is a narrowly defined construct with fairly specific meaning at its core. A slave who is property, who offers obedience across the board, even potentially to the point of being sold, will at times look askance when this label is bandied about by bedroom players or used to describe relationships that are D/s – even very controlling D/s – but not M/s, in nature.

Many people refer to themselves as slaves because they enjoy erotic or other types of control on a limited basis, as long as it doesn't interfere too much with other areas of their life they hold off-limits. And the more controlled a submissive is, the more that person's state resembles that of a slave, and so may be commonly referred to as "slave" without fine distinctions being made in conversation. But when we are speaking of degree of control, a slave is someone very specific.

Words and Their Meanings

It is the nature of popular jargon, perhaps, that words like "slave" will be adopted by those who find it sexy or apropo to some aspect of their lives, and the distinctions between that and "submissive" will blur. But it is necessary when speaking of M/s relationships to be more precise about these meanings. Slaves and Owners of my acquaintance distinguish sharply between the "Master" and "slave" of delimited D/s, and the Master and slave of an obedience-centered chattel property relationship.

I have offered this discussion to distinguish beween key elements of submission as contrasted to slavery. "Slave" has a particular meaning to an established segment of the BDSM community, and the aforegoing is intended to illustrate ways in which this mode of obedience differs from the more commonly encountered D/s styles of submission.

4/15/2008 5:33:37 PM
Broken hearted....

well, this girls is broken hearted tonight, for life has taken a very unforseen turn and this girl had to tell a wonderful Master who was very interested in owning this girl and this girl very interested in this Master too, that she is no longer relocatable. This girl is not the only one, she is sure, who is hurting tonight due to this sudden change.

Oh well, the pool of potential owners just shrunk drastically and it's not like it's easy for trans slaves to find Master's or Mistress' to begin with...

UG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

This girl is off to cry her heart out and is most likely going to take a few days away from this site as she re-evaluates things.

Peace and love,
slave isabelle

4/8/2008 6:49:58 PM
Why does it hurt so??
Why does it hurt so to say no?
Why does it hurt so to say it is not a good fit?
Why does it hurt so to say this slave is not interested?
Why does it hurt so to say this slave does not want to move to (insert local)?
Why does it hurt so when this slave is attacked for saying no?
Why does it hurt so when told this slave cannot possibly be a real slave if it says no?
Why does it hurt so??

4/7/2008 7:03:55 AM
Random thought of the moment:

When your science teacher smashed a frozen rose with a hammer, did you warm the petals to bring them back to life?

No, for they are in essence already dead, for the process of death started for them the moment the rose was cut from the bush. To warm them to bring them back would be cruel since their death is inevitable.



4/6/2008 6:06:59 AM
Beginnings...

i was filling out a list of questions today for an online group i recently joined, and one of the questions was about what got me started in the lifestyle. Boy...seems like an easy question to answer, but with me there is always a story behind everything!!! So.....


i actually came to the lifestyle at a rather young age and at the time i really had no idea just how much of my life it would affect. At the time i was in high school and had a girlfriend that loved to play "games", order me about, etc. and i found i liked it...a lot. At that point i didn't know what it was called, just knew i enjoyed and it felt right, seemed natural...whatever you wanted to call it. Living in LA it was not difficult to find others in the lifestyle although at the time i simply knew mostly about the kink side of things...hey...i was only 17 at the time and like most 17 year olds (or at least those i knew) sex was an important aspect of much of everything in life.

Turned out that one of my mother's girlfriends was a Mistress and She lived not too far from home, so i showed up there one day full of questions. Because of my age at first She didn't want anything to do with me, but after my being persistent over the period of a week or so, She finally said i could work around Her house and help Her out and She might consider answering my questions. my answer was "what do you want done first?". i worked around Her house for a couple of weeks might have even been a month before one day She agreed to start my education on the "lifestyle", which at the time the word meant nothing to me...now mind you that nothing of a sexual nature ever once entered into any of this...and yes, i know that being only 17 i could not even legally consent but i was going to get my questions answered one way or another and She could see that...it would not be until later in my life that She told me She initially took me on for my own safety once She realized how determined i was to learn, for She worried about just who i might end up with in my thirst for knowledge.

Now the problem with questions and learning is that one question almost always leads to another, if not tons more. The first few question and answer sessions taught me one very important lesson...She would answer my questions only when She was damn well good and ready to and would often answer a couple of questions and then give me a list of chores to do before She would consider answering any more. Sometimes afterwards She would answer a few more or simply give me something else to do; eventually i simply stopped asking to ask questions figuring She would allow them when She was ready...at the time i was not fully aware of just how much i was learning, not only from my questions but also from the way She was teaching me.

One afternoon after mowing the lawn and tending the flowers, She called me into the house for what i thought would be another question and answer session. Instead She told me to follow Her and lead me down the hallway to a back room that was always locked. Unlocking the door She stepped inside and i followed...all around the room were all sorts of goodies. She stepped back and simply stood watching as i slowly went around the room looking at everything. On one wall was an assortment of whips, crops, canes, and what not. Stopping at a riding crop, i looked over to where She stood watching my every move and asked if i may pick it up. She got a huge smile and said 'yes' and came over to explain what the item was and how it can be used. i had apparently passed some test i was not even aware i was taking, but a lot of what happened at Her house seemed like some form of test or another...but i digress...

"Do you want to truly know what it feels like and how I use it?" She asked me.
My eyes betrayed my thoughts long before the word "Yes" stumbled from my mouth.
"Good. you remember what I told you about the colors of the stop light?" Nodding my head affirmative. "OK, then. Strip"
"Yes ma'am" Now, i don't know if a cloud or what had moved in, but at this point my view of the world seemed to dim dramatically like when a cloud blocks out the sun during an otherwise sunny day. At that moment my entire world consisted of that one room, the other person in that room and the implement She held in her hand.
"Stand here and hold out your arms in front of you." i complied without a word for to me it seemed any talking on my part would shatter the moment and something in me so longed for this to happen.
She placed cuffs on each wrist and then suspended my arms from a hook in the ceiling with a piece of chain.
"What ever you do, do not move. If it gets to be too much let Me know and I will ended it there."
I nodded the affirmative. I recall the first 10 or 15 hits from the crop, She would change up the intensity of the different blows and would sometimes rub Her hand over the spot just hit. The sensations were absolutely wonderful, i was in heaven and each blow brought my senses to new heights and somewhere around blow 15 or so it was like i was no longer there, somehow detached from my body, unable to feel what was truly happening, a great sense of euphoria washed over me.....
"Damn it!" She was yelling, as i slowly came down from what felt like a high. "You should have warned ME!"
"Warned You about what?" I asked, feeling extremely disoriented like i had been drinking.
"That you enter sub...." She started and abruptly stopped mid-sentence. Laughing now "No, you wouldn't know what I'm even referring to."
That was my first experience with subspace and i was hooked.

At that point our talks took an unexpected turn, well unexpected to me at least, as from that event forward She started talking a lot more out M/s relationships, slavery, submission with a lot of emphasis on surrendering, and things long the lines of TPE, 24/7, and such. i personally believe She saw something much deeper in myself then i was even willing to admit to myself at the time. The whole concept of being a slave sort of bothered me at the time and it would take a number of years and becoming the property of another to lead me to the point of realization that i am a slave...but that is a story for another time.

Peace and love,
slave isabelle

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Revivingdesdemon
 
 Age: 27
 Lmao, Oregon