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Little ums, school and work, things are very busy, i thought it would slow down a bit once school started but it just means more activies and my service has been kept busy. Just touching bases with friends. Hope your summer was great. |
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This summer is a very busy one, catch E/everyone in the fall. |
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Half the battle is in the conviction that we can do what we undertake. |
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People don't change so much because they see the light but rather because they feel the heat. Once again,.... time for change. |
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Two Sides to every coin, this one tossed in the air, caution there but tossed up anyway. One is Wow, almost an extreme.... almost... the beast stirs and tries to shake off sleep... not always a good thing for me....... and then i wonder --- Is there such a thing as too vanilla? Would it be complete to serve one and not the other. Purpose is becoming muddled. Close my eyes and wait for the call, fate decides what's next. i just find myself chanting,.....i am not a teacher, i am a submissive, i am a servant, i am a pet, i am a woman who knows how to serve, i am not a teacher.... potential is wasted on the unlearned, and abused by the knowing. i am finding myself wondering.....Is there ever a medium place? |
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why does the heart love what it can also lose? |
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my re-new'd motto will be "it is not mine to question, it is mine to serve" |
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Surrender, is such a double edged sword... a few random toughts arose...
bitter sweet and tastey treat, when it's right it is very very right and when it's wrong it's .... interesting.....vanilla it ain't.
Dominance/ submission, is it up for debate? Tender and touching, bunches and blows,
like a merry-go-ride flight to the moon...Paddles and push-ups, gruntings and groans
idle chatter or sensual moans...Slappings and lather,...Straps on's and hard- on's what does it matter?
Rinse and Ride, Repeat more and more...Screams of a fucked ragged whore
might tests of talent...tounges and switches...fists and toes,
where it begins or ends...who really knows,...a promise is not just a kiss
it's wondering if it will miss
Surrender, is such a novel idea...more than just a word...more than a free pass
but less than a life....As long as the secrets are kept from the wife.....
Amazing, delightful, frightful, vanilla it ain't...It's alway more than edible paint...
When it's right it is very very right and when it is wrong it's....
Interesting....
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To right a few wrongs, to wrong a few rights....
3 catfish, wrapped seperately
1 jar of vasoline,
1 bottle of Nair
1 dozen tulips
1 can of blue spray paint.
1 air horn
That should do it.... |
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Nothing Gold Can Stay
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.
Robert Frost |
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Hear the wind blow dear, hear the wind blow.... love the sound of it, but don't like the cold.... isn't life full of contradictions....
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"When Patterns are broken, new worlds emerge" |
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It has begun with a bang and a grand entrance, lets hope the rest of the year continues to live up to the challenge. |
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Happy holidays to those that celebrate it. |
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i can not express how important it is to build trust before performance. It is the safe, sane way to live in this lifestyle.
i don't have a death wish. i have a wish to serve. i don't have a desire to be used and tossed away, i have a desire to serve long term; To be useful and productive for the one that owns me. If that is not what you also desire there is non point in continued communication.
So, please don't ask me to jump through hoops without building trust with me. while i feel i am a submissive woman and i might be compelled to obey or conform, i am also responsible to little ums. If i am damaged they suffer for it as well.
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"Est Sularus oth Mithas" means "My Honor is my life".
"Est Sudanus oth Nikkas" means 'My Power is my Truth'. |
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It is with our passions as it is with fire and water; they are good servants, but bad masters. ~Roger L'Estrange |
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Better day today, pain, but of a different sort, healing, getting stronger, adjusting, life just gets sweeter when the healing comes. |
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Stitches came out today, thank goodness for tape.. *laughs*... still holding me together, now comes the fun part, physical therapy... oh joy.... dah, i did beg sweetly for more of the good drugs... |
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i can non longer kneel, pain is always present.
i am scheduled to have knee surgery, it can non longer be put off until a better time.
There seems to be non better time for such things, but the pain has become unbearable and now it must be done.
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Every told yourself it will get better.... and believed the lie. |
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Right now each step on my path is the only step in my universe. That's the price of being alone. |
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If you rely only on your eyes, your other senses will be weakened. |
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Sex is only a fraction of the lifestyle why is it that so many only wish that part of it.... i'm looking for someone who is well rounded in the lifestyle.
i have so much more to offer, what about you? |
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Building a relationship takes time. Trust also takes time. Do not fault me for wanting to go slow. While i do know the value of obedience and can offer it. i wish to give it to someone worthy of that kind of devotion. So, please get to know me before you ask of me the most precious treasure i have to offer. |
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If i am the answer to the question.... what was the question again? |
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"Wohin führt diese straße?"...
where does this road lead?..
that is what i am asking myself today... |
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the nice thing about avoidance when there is nothing one can do about it, makes it easier to get a lot of other things done instead.
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like a honey bee, gotta feed the need and find a new garden to buzz around, so i can stay sweet and useful.
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Bound and blindfolded with every cell screaming sexual tension. He planned every sensation, every tone, every move with the surgical percission of a seasoned professional.
The music He chose was older, carrying a forgotten sound of bound intensity and notes of lost sorrow were chained together to link to her dark soul. It birthed pagan dreams.
His voice was like dust upon cold iron. The sounds of each sylable slides smoothly in to the next and formed edible meanings for her mind to digest.
The vision His words created pooled low in her belly and mixed with the music with such a hot liquid grace that the senstation was mesmerizing.
Trembling she waited amazed that to know that the experience had all started with hello and a shy smile.
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Her lips are sweet as untried lips are wont to be
They beg a tasting, come close and see,
The heady wine of touch and desire
Warms the breath and builds a fire
That parts the knees and frees the pleas
Breathy whimpers pretty the pout,
Tender the offer that leaves non doubt.
Petals to tempt your choice to take
Leaving what memories the kiss will make.
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Wenn not am mann ist, geht es auch anders. |
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hammer.... A hammer is basically useless when it is lain to rest. Being at rest does not make it any less a hammer, it does not make it any less a tool that could be used. It waits to be given a purpose and feels not shame at being lain to rest....So is the life of a hammer.
A servant is much the same in that it is also a tool, that awaits to be given a purpose. When lain to rest, it is not less a tool.
The difference is that it lives and breathes to be useful. Without use and purpose in the hands of Another, the very spirit of that "tool" becomes hard as metal and eventually the part that lives and breathes looses it's desire to serve. Without that desire to serve and a means to express that desire there is non longer a purpose to be... so is the life of a servant that is left to live in shame. |
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by helping O/others to find what they want in life, maybe something good will spill over and find me... if not, i guess perhaps i have not lived in vain,... i just wish, sometimes selfishly, to find my own happiness. |
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When wondering where the honey bees went, remember that when needs are not met, even the most basic ones, it's time to move on to find another place to be useful and to survive.....buzz..... |
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A puzzle,... when i got it, it has a wonderful picture on the box, but as i put it together the pieces did not fit right, very complicated, and the picture was not the same as it was advertized, i lost some of the pieces in the struggle to make it come together, and now it's been shoved in a box, i just could not bring myself to throw it away.... was it a waste of time,.... sadly i sometimes think so. |
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"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." quote from billy (age 4)... out of the mouth of babes, how precious and how true! |
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What would you rather have: a rollover submissive who would sub for just about anyone, or a subissive or who wouldn't sub for anyone BUT you. There is a desire to express their submissiveness with YOU because you are the only one who enjoys seeing that strong inner being that can be 'mastered' by you. That in itself is the ultimate power exchange in my eyes.
When i ask a Man this question, His answer tells me right away if it is someone i can serve or if i should walk away. |
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resolve to live
10--amused by the process....
9--realization, that comfort comes sometimes where you least expect it but when you need it the most.
8---the only thing more valuable than a good whore is a good cook...
7---so to be both is amazing~ trying an experiment of cultra
6---- trying a new recipe...vanilla shake with a dash of spice and a wooden spoon
5---- thank goodness for the kindess of strangers ---- and a good case of damn it all, anyway....
4----pat hard and rub gently... this one might be a keeper....
3-----what happened to 2?
... who cares....
--1----Wow... makes you want to shout ....let's do that again!
0-------exhausted pleasantly with the resolve to live... |
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i bought enough leather for two matching floggers, i know not to cut the leather until i have a plan and will seek out some patterns and advice, and may start a practice one because these two i want to be perfect,
a nice little project for me,... with non one else in mind, a gift i will give myself. |
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i have decided... i'm going to give to myself the things i need, non longer will i do without, non longer will i put myself last, non longer will i feel guilt about having, and wanting, and needing and acheiving, the means justify the end result... i have decided!
So it if pisses you off, and makes you talk about how disappointed you are in me, save your breath, we all have disappointments in life.
i have decided i like the way it's done wrong rather than not at all... i will non longer wait for my piece of the pie, i'm taking it out of the middle... deal with it... or not.. it matters little to me at this moment, if you wanted it you should have done something about it...
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one of my goals is just beneath the surface, a hopeful outlook, perhaps a good start, must tend it and water it and feed it and let it grow i think... nurture it's exsistance, the spark of life has been tickled..... |
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The morning bruises were shadowy little photographs of her soul. Sometimes she dreams of being more than someone's punching bag.
she dreams of a place where there is always love and someone always wants her for their own..., Please take her to that place. |
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i think what bothers me most is collectors, they add to themselves one after another, and never spend time beyond the surface, just collecting humans seems to be enough for them, shallow..... by not going beyond the surface of another so much is missed.... precious, intelligent, exciting, complex, beauty, heart, soul, just to name a few..... so many settle only for the skin,....... playing has it's advantages, but i would rather play on a deeper, more intimate level. i like the challenge of the mind and spirit... if it was only about sex,..... any meat market that serves a drink and plays loud music will fulfill that need, for some, for the shallow, it appears you only have to make yourself available.... *sighs*
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"Jedem alles Recht getan, Ist eine Kunst die niemand kann."
It means,"To do every body right is an Art that nobody is able to to accomplish."
~~Thank you Master AL for reminding me of this.~~ |
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Thanks to the goodness of strangers.... but it does make me wonder about those i call "friends" .... |
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"A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon." |
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Everytime the answer is non in life, i have to give something up, sometimes it's a dream, sometimes it's a fantasy, sometimes it's a life experience...
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there is an ache i can not explain, i can not manage, i can not control, help me find my way...
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warmth of skin to skin, lips pressed in tenderness or heated passion or even the wrinkled quivering kiss of an elder, a kiss is something to be cherish non matter what source, and i do enjoy a kiss now and then, it is a precious gift to me.
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i love you, i love you, i love you i do, but don't get excited i love monkey's too.... |
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