Once upon a time, in a fantasy far, far away, two Mistresses were  disputing (politely, of course) who had trained the more obedient submissive. One Mistress said that She had, through prolonged and innovative teaching, produced the perfectly submissive man. The other Mistress claimed, on the other hand, that She had gone even further and completely un-manned her male submissive. They could not agree whose accomplishment was the greater, and soon concluded that abstract argument would prove nothing. Clearly, they had to battle it out physically, that is -- lest the reader misunderstand -- they had to put their submissives into physical competition. 

First one Mistress would issue a command to Her submissive, and She would expect him to obey. Then the other Mistress would make the very same demand of Her submissive, and expect him to obey.  When both submissives obeyed, it would be the second Mistress' turn to make a demand of Her submissive, to see if the other submissive would likewise obey. And thus the Mistresses quickly entered into an escalation of more and more outrageous commands to Their subs. It went more or less like this...

The first Mistress ordered Her sub to strip naked; he did. The other Mistress ordered Her sub to strip naked; he did.

The other Mistress ordered Her sub to spread his legs and to play with his cock to make it hard and to make his balls bounce; he did. The first Mistress ordered Her sub to do the same; he did.

And so it went by turns. Soon the two subs were on all fours and barking like dogs. Next they were wanking each other's weiners, then sucking them, then deep-throating them. Next each sub was on his knees sucking the other, while the other was flogged and caned. And thus the competition progressed; so far, a tie.

Each Mistress realized that the other Mistress had a well-trained and obedient sub who seemed to be quite un-manned already. They realized that They would need to be more inventive, more imaginative, and more devious in setting the tests. So, the two Mistresses colluded in a whispered conversation.

Upon the conclusion of Their short huddle, the first Mistress excused Herself to visit the washroom. She returned with a large plastic cup filled with a pale yellow liquid still hot from Her body. She gave it to Her sub, and he gulped it all down. The other Mistress gave her sub the same task, and he accomplished it with apparent relish. Seemingly pleased, the Mistresses pretended to "reward" their subs with a bottle of beer each as -- They said -- "a chaser." Both subs eagerly and gratefully chugged the beers, totally oblivious to what their Mistresses had in mind for them.

The two subs were then ordered outdoors, onto the deck, and, laying on their sides, put into a "69" position, such that each sub had the other's cock in his mouth. The Mistresses then went to work with ropes to bind the hands of the subs and to bind the bodies of the two subs tightly together so that they were immobilized, most especially so that each sub could not move his head off the cock of the other sub.

Slightly fatigued by all the rope work, the two Mistresses then made themselves cold drinks and pulled up chairs so that They could sit and enjoy the sun -- and patiently observe their subs. They chatted on and on about those things that only Mistresses like to chat about, while the two subs became increasingly distressed -- for some reason.

As time passed, the muffled moans of the two subs with their stuffed mouths finally rose to such a crescendo, that the Mistresses could no longer pretend not to hear. So one Mistress said to Her sub, "What's the problem with you? You're such a sissy. Be a good boy and just hold it in. This is a command. Don't disappoint Me. If you let go first, I will lose, and you don't want me to lose, do you?"

And the other Mistress said to the first, "Well, one of them will eventually have to let go. Shall We have another drink while We wait? It's such a lovely afternoon!" 

Following my previous journal entry, my readers may be surprised to learn that i am NOT in my cock cage this week. How the key was lost and how i -- very painfully extracted myself -- is a story for another day. The relevant point right now is that i must write about what Mistress did to me this last weekend, and NOT play with myself out of recalled excitement. After all, Mistress is trusting me to be obedient and not to give in to my wanker instinct. 

Indeed, last Saturday evening Mistress send me deep, deep into subspace, and, when She was finished with me, i was a long, long time in recovering. She drove me extraordinarily deep into my true, submissive-male nature. So what did She do to me this time?

Well, first She used pink parachute cord to bind up my stupid-looking "dangling male bits." She put a hangman's noose tight around my balls and my already excited and erect cock, thus pretty well trapping the blood inside. Then She used the cord to make several very tight loops around each of the balls in my pain sack, and to tie them off so that each ball was squeezed and separately exposed with no way to slip away or escape. When done, She tested Her handiwork by flicking each unprotected testicle several times with Her fingers to gauge my pained reaction.  

Not, apparently, satisfied with this un-mannning of me, She then proceeded to have me bend over a table and to insert a sort of speculum in my asshole. i couldn't see, of course, but i think She used the speculum to open me up so that a very large dildo could be inserted. And She pushed and pulled that monster dildo in and out of me until it was lifting me off my feet and i was almost crying for being fucked this way so hard.

Mistress then complained that my cock was oozing slimy pre-cum, so She put a large plastic clamp on the head of my penis to close it up. For good measure (i guess) or because She knows i hate it, She put similar clamps on my nipples.

If you (my reader) can picture all this, then you will understand how thoroughly Mistress made me into a submissive "un-man." 

Yet, to humiliate me still further, Mistress then ordered me into a large dog cage (a gift to Her from another, kind and generous sub). She had me lie on my back inside the cage and to draw up my knees so that i fit completely inside. And once i was squeezed in, She took the parachute cord and tied the whole package of my swollen cock and distended balls up tight to the top bars of the cage. Finally, She sealed the cage and left me. i could hear Her nearby as She worked in the kitchen and in Her computer room.

In this perfectly helpless predicament, as the time ticked by, i did as my Mistress intended me to do, that is, I meditated on my strange, subordinate male nature and on that D/s relationship which makes Mistress and me most happy. Thereby, my mind slipped, degree by degree, into ever greater submissiveness, into an almost abject submissiveness and feeling of joy and freedom at being so thoroughly un-manned.

i expected that my legs would soon begin to cramp, but they didn't actually, although i was quite stiff all over when Mistress finally released me. (She later told me that i was in the cage for 40 minutes or so.) The clamp on the head of my cock really got to hurting, though, so i asked for permission to remove it. (Afterward Mistress reflected that She should also have bound my hands, so this would have been impossible.) In the end, however, what got me wimpering and begging to be released was how cold my balls were becoming; i was afraid that maybe the circulation had been cut off. Mistress took pity on me then (or maybe She doesn't want a eunuch for a sub?), and let me out of the cage and unbound me.

At this point i was feeling so very submissive to Her that all i wanted to do was to crawl at Her feet and kiss Her toes, but, with some difficulty She coaxed me up on the sofa, covered me with a blanket, and hugged me. She hugged me proudly (i hope), proud that i had submitted to Her controlled un-manning of me and that i had been an obedient plaything to delight Her ever crueler sense of humor.

i can hardly believe that so much time has passed since my last journal entry.  No wonder Mistress has commanded me to write up a new one.

Well, this entry is not fantasy, but describes instead something that Mistress did to me during our long weekend together just before Christmas.

Now, as background, you need to know that i have been a chronic wanker all my life. Left to myself, i just can not keep my hands off my cock, balls, and asshole. Mistress has had to take drastic measures to cure me of my habit, especially so that i don't cum and lose any of my submissiveness.

So, for example, She has trained me that i can never touch myself down there (except for washing, of course), and She has repeatedly reinforced the idea that those so-called "manly" parts of me belong to Her and not to me. This truism is mightily reinforced in my sub-male brain by how She keeps this cock (which i carry around for Her) locked up in a cage 24/7 -- except, of course, for when She wants to use it, or play with it, or train me further by beating on it (or, as She plans, by sticking needles in it). So all these measures of Hers keep me from masturbating at all.

On this visit, however, Mistress reversed Her usual policy. On this occasion She ordered me to masturbate all i wanted, provided i did not cum. And She set these further conditions: (1) that i could not stop masturbating until She allowed me to stop  (2) that i was to have no lubricant (other than my pre-cum, of course), and (3) that i was to take my hands away immediately to show Her that my cock was totally hard whenever She said "Present!"

Well, i was pretty happy about this arrangement (however humiliating), even knowing that i would not be allowed to cum. (i'm reconciled to that by now.) But what i didn't know was how long Mistress would keep me at it:  She timed it, and kept me pulling on my penis for TWO HOURS with stops only when She said "Present!" and with one rest break when She had me go down on Her to venerate Her "Almighty Clit."

As you can imagine, by the end of two hours my cock was getting rather sore, but not so sore that i lost pleasure. So things could have been worse; for example, Mistress could have given me lotion with grape nuts in it to use on my tender male appendage, but She was not that cruel, this time. i did have considerable difficulty in not cumming, but the mere thought of Her Pain-Dealing Quirt gave me the discipline and fortitude i needed to hold off. The strangest thing, however, was how my little willy became swollen almost grotesquely fat after all the rubbing i gave it. It was a truly weird sight to see, funnier that ever! (i wonder if Mistress took a photo of that?)

Well anyway, i guess i passed that endurance test. And i must say that wanking does not seem to attract me so much anymore. Maybe that, after all, was Mistress' plan.

And i guess that i pleased Her with my obedience, because She -- most generous of all Women! -- did let me cum at the end of that weekend. But, of course, only when She wanted, and on Her terms. You can believe me when I say that, after all that masturbating, there was a HUGE amount of cum for me to lick up and put back inside myself, always as Mistress commands.

Mistress and i are suffering through another time apart on account of Her travel. She tells me that She has been missing Her first-thing-in-the-morning pussy lickings from me, and that She is going to be very horny when She arrives home. (Of course, being Dominant, She does not give a fig for how horny i might be, locked up in this cock cage for so long. But as a sub-male i accept this orgasm denial, of course.)  

Anyway, She has instructed me to write a new journal entry to keep Her amused in the meantime. She has asked me to write about how W/we wish W/we could locate other people with whom to share O/our experiences in person. Mistress would love to find other local Dominant Women with whom to converse openly and share ideas and techniques. (She seems to be serious in Her talk about wanting to experiment with needle play on my cock and pain sack, so i do hope that She finds someone who is experienced in this practice and can lend a little mentoring and demonstration first.)  

Mistress is also desirous always of growing and deepening my submissiveness and my submission to Her. She wants to put me in situations of ever greater humiliation and degradation so as to strip away the last vestiges of my supposed manhood and pretense of masculine pride. She likes it very much when i am deep in sub-space and truly worshipping Her as having all power and control over me. She should have complete and unquestioned obedience from me no matter what perverse thing She asks me to do.  

Of course, i cannot know what She might ask me to do, but i have confessed to Her that the most degrading thing i can think of for Her to make me do would be to live out in real life my long-held fantasies of being trained with another sub-male, including so-called “forced bisexuality.” So, i am hoping that Mistress makes contact with another FemDomme who has a submissive of Her own and who would like to participate in O/our games.If anyone out there reads this and would like to make contact, i am authorized by Mistress to facilitate introductions. So please send a message!  

From what i read, i understand that some Women are really turned on by seeing two men having sex. And i think Mistress might be such a Woman since She has, from time to time, compelled me to suck on dildos and to take them as far down my throat as i can. (She always measures the length that i manage to take in.) So i think She would like to introduce me to cocksucking, the only problem being that She is extremely cautious about finding someone who would be quite safe from a health point of view. i am myself very nervous about sucking my first cock, but i think i could do it under Mistress’ command and direction. Surely, Her seeing me with a cock in my mouth, or with a cock going in and out of my ass, or with my face smeared with another sub’s cum, would completely remove the last lingering traces of my male conceit and cement my acceptance of Her inherent Female Superiority.  

Indeed, i wish very much that other people might witness in person my submissiveness to Mistress, and that Mistress might have me give proof publicly of my obedience to Her and my willingness to be humiliatingly un-manned by Her. i wear Her collar, and i wear a cock cage at all times for Her when W/we are apart. But those things are hidden from sight. i would like to have like-minded people see my submission firsthand: how i crawl at Her feet, how She decorates my cock and pain sack with a forest of clothes pins, how She fucks me up the cock, how She has me take stinging ginger up my asshole, how She makes me makes me play with myself with Icy-Hot on my hands, how She has me drink Her pee from a cup and eat my food from a dog bowl, etc., etc. And how, more like a dog than a man, without hesitation or complaint, on those rare occasions when Mistress allows me an orgasm, i always lick up and swallow my own cum while She watches. i am, after all, only a submissive penis-bearer and inferior ball-wearer totally devoted to the pleasure and amusement of the Mistress who rules me.

How i wish that right now She were pushing Her ass hard onto my face so as to have my moist tongue reach deeper up Her sweet asshole!

Mistress has been away visiting family and i have also been away visiting family, so W/we have not seen each other for quite some time now.  So, as a long-overdue gift to Her, i thought i would write a fantasy journal entry in hopes of amusing Her.

The entry concerns my long-standing fantasy to be trained by Her to the most humiliating task a male-sub can know -- namely, being trained by Her to pleasure another male-sub.

Since the humiliation element is so powerful here, I am taking the fantasy-liberty of inviting a second Domme -- namely N -- to witness my obedience to Mistress.

So, i imagine that i am dressed in only my girly blue pjs (with nothing on underneath) when i am presented to N and to the second sub (#2). Mistress orders me to crawl across the floor and kiss the feet of both of them.

Mistress then tells me what i am going to do -- to Her command -- to prove just how submissive and just how obedient i am. She tells me that i am going to undress #2 and then kneel in front of him with his cock and balls in my face. And that i am then going to kiss #2's cock all over until it begins to get hard and rise up. That i am also going to kiss and lick his balls, and suck one ball at time into my mouth. Mistress tells me that She will video all this.

She tells me that #2 will then turn so that his ass is in my face, and that i shall then kiss his ass all over both cheeks. And that i will push apart his cheeks and place a kiss directly on his asshole. Then i will lick the asshole while She films my degradation.

When #2 turns again, She will push my mouth down on his cock, and i will be ordered to take his cock into my mouth, bit by bit, until his cock has completely disappeared down my throat. Them Mistress will push and pull my head up and down on his cock, or She will allow #2 to fuck my mouth as he pleases.

She and N will then order the two subs to get into the 69-position, so that They can see and film both men sucking one another at the same time.

Next i will be told to lubricate my ass, and to lay on my stomack. #2 will be told to put on a condom, and then be told to fuck me up the ass as hard and as deep as he can. And thus i will be fucked by another man right in front of Mistress and N.

Then, after my ass has been thoroughly fucked, i will be told to turn over onto my back. And #2 will be told to take off the condom and to straddle my face. He will be given permission to masturbate and to come all over my face. i will not be allowed to wipe off the cum, but rather required to spread it out all over my face.

And finally, Mistresss and N will have me and #2 go into the shower, where i will kneel down, take #2's hose down my throat, and let him piss into my stomach. Mistress tells me that i will then be left alone in the dark, covered with cum and piss, to meditate on my male submissiveness and obedience. When She finally comes to get me, and to allow me to wash, She will then permit me to join the others in watching a movie -- except that i will be required to nurse on #2's cock for everyone to see until the show ends.

Almost seven days ago, Mistress instructed me to post a new journal entry before the week was out. So i am right up against the deadline, and had better focus my mind – or, i am sure, Mistress will focus it for me.  Coffee usually helps. 

OK then, since i have complete freedom of choice concerning the topic of this entry, i would like to try to express one particular ‘torture’ She has inflicted on me a couple of times recently. 

You see, not being quite so fond of morning-coffee as i am, Mistress typically lingers in bed on Sunday morning for the longest time until She knows I am really, really desperate for a caffeine fix. But that’s not the torture i mean to describe. 

No, after i do my duty in the morning by pleasuring Mistress with my head between Her legs, the sensuality of it leaves my cock quite stiff (even if i am caffeine-starved). Most mornings Mistress seems to take no note whatsoever of my woody, but occasionally She will enjoy playing with my cock, and pulling and squeezing painfully on my balls. 

And sometimes She will rub my cock so that i get closer and closer and closer to an orgasm. i do not beg, of course, or suggest in any way that i want to come. She knows my need, however, and if my hand wanders toward my cock, She quickly pulls my hand away, because i am not allowed to play with myself. That is why my cock is kept caged most of the time. 

Anyway, i try my best to hold off from coming, and when i can barely stand it anymore, my body tenses, stiff as a board, and i begin to tremble from the attempt to hold off. Inevitably then, since Mistress will not let up, the cum will begin to rise up in me, beyond my control. But as very soon as Mistress sees the first sign of my coming, She stops stroking Her cock-toy, so that, at the critical moment, my orgasm is completely ruined. Not being allowed to touch myself to complete the wanking, my cum simply leaks out of me. 

And as I leak, Mistress uses a finger to transfer the sticky white stuff to my mouth. i suck Her finger, so that the cum goes back into me -- where it belongs (and should remain).

After O/our "spring break" at the beach i've been busy catching up with work, with correspondence, and with reading. But now i simply must write an entry for Mistress. i want Her to know how very grateful i am that She took me on this mini-vacation.

The car trip both ways between mountains and coast was uneventful -- although Mistress tends to drive more aggressively than i would. (But an aggressive Mistress is ideal, no?) 

And although the weather was mixed, O/our activities each day matched the conditions; for example, on one very windy day, W/we went sightseeing and shopping in town, while on a calmer day W/we went bicycling on the back streets of the island. And W/we were able to comb the beach a couple of times. There was hardly anyone else strolling the sand.

On one beach walk i took off my sneakers and rolled up my pants in order to wade in the surf. i happened to remark to Mistress that i found the water temperature quite acceptable even at this early date in March. i said that the water never gets warmer than this where i grew up in much more northerly climes. Then Mistress decided to test me:  She ordered me to strip down to my pink panties and to go swimming, although the fact is that W/we had seen absolutely NO ONE ELSE brave enough (or foolish enough) to enter the water.

i was rather concerned that people might see me from the nearby beach houses, but i couldn't disobey Mistress -- and besides i really did want to dunk myself, i just needed a little 'incentive.'

So while i stripped, Mistress got out the little camcorder and prepared to video my cold plunge for Her work-in-progress film "A Day in the life of dildo."

Dressed only in my panties, i strode bravely out into the waves and dived in. And as i frolicked in the icy water, Mistress carefully kept me in the camcorder's viewfinder. But i didn't stay in too long, and soon i was back on the beach and shivering in the wind. Quickly i dressed, and Mistress and i were eager to play back the video. BAD LUCK! Mistress apparently hadn't pressed firmly enough on the 'record' button. No video of dildo in his panties in the surf! Mistress was SO disappointed!

W/we marched with haste back to the house where W/we were staying. Mistress told me to get naked and to go into the outdoor shower to wash off the sand. As i finished rinsing, Mistress apparently decided to take out on me Her disappointment with the video. Still outdoors, She told me to turn around, and She began to whack my butt with my thick leather belt. i don't know if it was the belt or the salt still on my skin (or Mistress' aggressiveness after Her disappointment), but it really HURT! And Mistress insisted that i take a full count without removing my hands from the railing of the stairs up into the house. i finally managed it (i hate it when the count is reset!), and, in fact, despite all the cold, my cock got conspiciously hard and jutted out stiffly from me. Seeing this, and mocking all my recent howls of pain, Mistress softly said, "A cock never lies."

Mistress is taking me for a few days to the beach! 

And this is a wonderful prospect for me, because I haven't been to the ocean in 12 years -- or more. Each passing year I've been craving more and more for the sight of the sea, the smell of the salt, the sound of the waves, and the feel of the sand under my feet. So this trip will be a real treat.

Mistress has, however, instructed me to write a journal entry laying out my hopes and fantasies about O/our upcoming trip. Her deadline runs out in just a few hours, so i had better discipline myself right now and get it done. i do hate it when She canes me, and i know a caning would be my fate if i miss this deadline.

Anyway, first of all, i hope W/we have good weather, and the current long-range weather forecast does look good -- sunny skies with temperatures in the mid to high sixties. Perfect for walking, biking, and beach combing, although the ocean is probably still too cold for swimming. Who knows, though, if Mistress won't strip me and order me into the water?

Then i also hope that Mistress will avail Herself of this opportunity when W/we have more than the usual number of consecutive days and nights together to exercise Her prerogatives and treat me like a slave waiting on Her every whim. i know She knows how i like it when She magnifies my natural male submissiveness, and when She allows me to demonstrate my burning desire to become more and more deeply submissive to Her. The fact is, i like it when She treats me badly and orders me about, privately and publicly.

So i fantasize that She will keep me cocklocked all the time, so that i can have absolutely no expectation of pleasure for myself, but only the desire to pleasure Her, at bedtime and upon rising. Of course, She owns my "dildo with a pulse" and my "pain sack," so She can uncage me when She wants to amuse Herself with those parts of me. But i hope She will keep me in chastity most of the time.

i also fantasize that She will put me into corner time frequently, because this is the single easiest method for sending me into subspace. When She puts me into bondage and parks me, standing or kneeling, with my cock and balls pulled up tight and tied to my collar or to a doorknob, i have nothing to do except stare down at my male bits and meditate on my submissiveness to Her. Half an hour of this every day during our trip will surely deepen my desire to please Her as Her submale. Perhaps this time She will try putting me in some new positions, for example, on my back with my knees drawn up and with my pain sack tied to my ankles, so that i could only relax my legs by pulling painfully on my balls.

And speaking of my balls, i fantasize that Mistress will take time out to beat them every day, so that i can feel their soreness as a constant reminder of Her power over me. Perhaps She will work on training me to keep my legs spread, even when they are not tied apart, while She sternly puts me in my place as a man by doing what She wants to my tender testicles. Maybe She will also fuck me up the peehole of my cock again.

Oh, and lastly, i remember that, last time Mistress allowed me to masturbate and to come, She discovered how i like to finger my asshole while playing with myself. After discovering this about me, She categorically forbade my assplay when not under Her immediate command and supervision. Well, maybe on this trip She will have me humilitate myself by ordering me to fuck my asshole with my fingers. In fact, that might make a good new scene for Her ongoing video "dildo's Day" -- which will, no doubt, be an Oscar winner next year at this time.

Well, beyond the usual movies and massage, Mistress and i spent a good portion of last weekend (1) planning a Femdom party and/or collaring ceremony and (2) experimenting with O/our new Flip camcorder.

But Mistress also allowed me a rare -- very rare! -- orgasm!

Concerning the planning, Mistress and i discussed how W/we would reach out to Dommes and male submissives within reasonable driving distance of the Asheville area in order to invite them first -- possibly -- to a get-to-know-each-other party, and then to a ceremony whereby Mistress would formally collar me. 

For the collaring ceremony, W/we discussed food and drink, the atmospheric setting (with lots of candles), how the ceremony might be recorded on the new little camcorder (and who might accomplish this task for U/us). what W/we would wear (or, in my case, not wear), the outline of the ritual itself, plus, of course, Mistress' vows and my vows.

i think W/we will have a terrific party and/or ceremony. So, who wants to attend? (i almost wrote, 'Who wants to come?' Not the same thing.)

Then W/we played around with the nifty, little FLIP camcorder. Two hours of recording time on 8 GB! 

Mistress quickly determined that She would like to create a film entitled "dildo's Day: Twenty-four Hours in the Life of a Submissive."

And She began filming random scenes for possible inclusion in the finished movie. For example, She videoed me making up the massage table preliminary to Her massage; She barged into the bathroom, and shot me sitting on the white throne after giving myself an enema (in case She later wanted to fuck me up the ass); She filmed me tied to the bed and writhing to the sensation of two -- yes, two! -- TENS units attached to my cock and pain sack; and, through the clever and skillful use of a mirror, She even captured me with my head between Her legs and worshipping Her clitoris.

i think Mistress is a natural with a video camera! And i suspect that wants to debut Her first film at our play party or collaring ceremony. (That should make it eligible for the 2012 Oscars.)

The final scene which She caught on film this past weekend was most humiliating for me. You see, Mistress has not allowed me an orgasm since before Christmas, and -- believe it or not! -- i have not begged for one. But this Sunday She made Hersefl comfortable on a chair, and She had me kneel -- naked of course -- before Her.  A small plate was at hand to one side of me.

Then She handed me some lubricant, and gave me free permission to masturbate as i wanted. i could see the red light glowing on the little Flip camcorder, indicating that She was filming.

i didn't care. All i cared about was the opportunity, finally, to play with myself and to get off. Actually, though, i was also mindful to give Mistress a good show of my male submissiveness. So i went to it with great gusto, and soon my groans and the slap-slap of my loose balls hitting my thighs filled the air.

At one point, Mistress told me to lie on my back if i wanted, so i did. And at this point i asked Her permission also to play with my asshole. When She granted permission, i began to fuck myself in and out with the fingers of my left hand, while i contined to jerk off with my right hand.

i wanted the pleasure to last, but i also did not want to bore Mistress. In any case, i soon found myself ready to explode, and i asked final permission to come. Permission granted, i rose up to my knees, grabbed the waiting plate, and -- with a lion's roar -- i came all over the receptacle.

After a moment's silence, Mistress said, "Well?" And i knew what She was waiting for. Slowly i raised the plate to my mouth, and -- caught in the eye of Her camera -- i slowly licked up my cum and put it back into myself, "where it belongs," as Mistress says.

After a too-long hiatus occasioned by the holidays and a bad respiratory infection on my part, Mistress and i finally got back together this past weekend. 

And this weekend Mistress took it into Her mind to discipline me, not for any disobedience or poor performance on my part, but simply to reassert Her authority and Her right to abuse my body as She wishes, whenever She wishes, for whatever reason She wishes. 

So, She stripped me, and stretched me across the bed, with my arms secured above my head, and my ass totally vulnerable. 

Then She took Her time with Her full panoply of floggers, whips, switches, and canes. i'm not really a pain slut, not at all -- so i didn't enjoy it much, except for the sheer submission on my part.

i thank my Goddess that She realizes how much damage Her quirt (in particular) can potentially inflict. As She told me, a really hard blow to the ass with a quirt could easily rip the skin open. So, for any subs who may be reading this, and who haven't experience the quirt, i suggest you forego the 'pleasure.' 

Later, Mistress wanted to experiment with 'milking me' with Her Aneros tool.  i think She was hoping that this process might reduce my "penis drool" (that is, the precum that leaks uncontrollably from my cock). 

Well, the milking process was very humiliating, very submissive, and very weird.

She had me naked on all fours on the massage table, and She had me lubricate the tool and my ass hole. Then, careful to orient the tool correctly, She stuck it into me, and began to pull rhymically upward on the curved handle left exposed outside of me.

Immediately i felt the tool pressing again and again and again on my prostate. This produces an unaccustomed but not unpleasant sensation.

And soon i felt sort-of-like i had to pee -- but could not control it or hold it back. i felt liguid flowing down my cock, and when i looked back between my legs i was shocked to see big drops of white fluid collecting one after another on the end of my penis and then plopping into a small bowl that Mistress had placed there to catch my 'milk.'

i was mesmerized by this sight, especially because my cock was not hard, and yet i was giving out cum. And there was no orgasm or real pleasure on my part. Well, i guess this is the main point of milking a sub -- clears out his prostate without allowing him an orgasm.

Tthe point is also to humiliate the sub, i suppose -- and i did feel really humilated. Being on all fours, i did feel like i was a cow, and my 'pain sack' (my scrotum) was like an udder (or milk bag) hanging down between my hind legs, with my penis acting like a single teat dripping milk.

i wasn't a milk cow -- but i was a male cow! And quite a sorry cow, i fear.

Oh, when i was drained, Mistress took the bowl and poured its contents down my throat. She always insists that it go back into me where it belongs.

i suggested to Mistress that milking might make a fine 'demo' at the next meeting of Her FemDom Circle.

Play time this last weekend was severely constrained time-wise by the threat of an incoming snow storm and by my Mistress' problems with the new technology.

i could do nothing about the former, but i was able to help Her somewhat with the latter -- or at least temper somewhat Her aggravated frustration.

Actually, Her principal issue was transferring 'pornographic' pictures of me in various conditions of torment and humiliation from off Her camera onto a discreet external thumb drive.

Once that was accomplished, however, W/we were pleased to discover that the thumb drive could be inserted into a USB port on Her new, 60" television, so that, as a slide show on the big screen, She and i could relive some of O/our most intense moments.

Mistress thinks such a slide show would make a nice backdrop during one of Her Femdom Circle meetings. Perhaps soon W/we'll be able to advance to making O/our own videos. Wouldn't that be cool?

Beyond the virtual realm of technology and in the carnal realm instead, i was able to please Mistress both morning and night with long pussy lickings -- as usual.

Licking Mistress' pussy makes me very horny, but i have been a good boy, meaning that i have not begged -- or even hinted -- at wanting an orgasm for myself, even though i have been locked up in chastity for a long, long time.

Actually, i was hoping that She would at least 'milk' me to empty my prostrate, short of allowing me to come. In fact, She has a special tool -- called an Aneros, i think -- for milking a man.

Alas, O/our weekend time together ran out, and, as Her well-humiliated and abused sub, i have no grounds for complaint.

Maybe next time She will use me like a cow.

Or maybe She'll paint my cock head red and my balls blue so that i look like a baboon!

i am what She wants me to be, according to Her playful nature.

TWO REALIZATIONS

i'm sure that i mean many things to my Mistress, but this last weekend i realized more deeply and profoundly than ever before that i am primarily and above all Her pussylicker.

As She says, my proper place is to have my head between Her legs.

Indeed, i find my contented purpose as a submissive when -- and only when -- all my attention is focused on adoring Her there. i could do it for hours -- and i do!

Mistress particularly enjoys long, leisurely lickings from me just before bed in the evening and again just before rising in the morning.

Often She likes to watch my ministrations between Her legs in a hand-held mirror that i gave Her. 

First, i excite Her by sucking and nippling on Her breasts, and then, on Her signal, i scoot down to where i belong. As She raises Her bottom by the force on her legs on my shoulders, i slide a pillow under Her ass, so that i can better reach Her temple with my tongue. 

Then, with the tip of my tongue, i begin to lick very gently all around, and i try to imagine how She is perceiving these first tentative touches on Her special place. i listen for Her sighs, and, very consciously, i put great reverence into each tantalizing touch of my tongue. 

Soon i start to lap with the full width of my tongue up and down over Her genitals.  This moistens Her and causes Her nether lips to swell open. Then i suck into my mouth first the labia on the right, and then the labia on the left, and pull gently outward on them. And i nibble on them ever so tenderly. 

What Mistress likes best -- i think -- is when i use my hands to separate Her labia so as to reveal the depths of Her temple, most especially Her bold and demanding clitoris which commands me.

All the while listening to the sounds of pleasure which Mistress makes, i use my tongue to caress Her clit. i fllick it side to side, up and down. i draw figure eights over the length of it. i suck it in and out of my mouth.

And when Mistress becomes most arosed, i press my whole face into Her and shake my head rapidly side to side. Sometimes Mistress even locks Her legs around my head so that i can't breathe.

Often, after taking long pleasure, Mistress explodes in an orgasm -- but not always. Sometimes She rolls to Her side, or onto Her back, whereupon i know to continue my duty by showing equal adoration to Her asshole. i lick Her there, and, after making it moist, i press my tongue in and out of Her. More than once, Mistress has had an orgasm this way. And i, of course, feel very, very submissive-happy to have my tongue up Her asshole.

i am proud to be my Mistress' pussylicker! And i can proud to be Her asslicker, too!

The other realization i made this past weekend was that Mistress' command of my body means that i no longer have any privacy from Her. 

For example, Mistress said that She wanted later to play with my ass, and that She wanted to see me give myself an enema. But i felt -- i guess -- that inserting the enema into myself in front of Her would be too humiliating, so i went ahead and administered it to myself while She was occupied with something else.

Well, this did not please Her -- i was lucky i didn't get a caning! Instead, She filled a squeeze bulb with hot water and Castille soap, bent me over the tub in the bathroom, pushed the nozzle deep up my ass, and, with the sharp compression of the bulb, sent a flood of liquid into me.

Needless to say (almost), is the fact that She sometimes will not let me pee except under Her observation. So, i definitely feel that not even the most basic functions of my body are exempt from Her control.

This is -- i understand now -- one part of what is involved in being a submissive man like me. 

Mistress has set today (Wednesday) as the deadline for my journal entry, so i had better hop to it. After all, i really do hate it when She canes my ass.  

When i arrived at Her home, i knocked, waited, entered, kneeled, and crawled forward on all fours until my head was in Her lap -- all as usual to express my submission to Her.  

But this time She must have been feeling unusually dominant and mean, because She had me quickly stripped of my panties, the red bow around my cock and balls, and the cock cage. Then She smeared both my hands with huge amounts of IcyHot, and told me to masturbate.  

Of course, i obeyed Her, and, as She watched, i dutifully endured the intense heat which resulted down there. (It's understood, of course, that, even when She orders me to masturbate, i am not allowed to 'cum' without Her explicit permission -- which was, most naturally, not forthcoming, no pun intended.) 

Then, just as the pain was fading, and as i thought this ordeal was over, She applied MORE ICYHOT to both my hands, and told me to continue playing with myself.  

This time i became a little delirious, and i can't honestly remember if She put me through a third round of this CBT or not.  

That day and the next, Mistress was feeling 'experimental' again, and my body is, of course, Her perfect laboratory (or 'sandbox,' as She says).  

Her first 'experiment' involved testing how much of a silicone dildo She could push down my throat.  

As She pushed in and out, i licked and sucked, but for all my trying -- as She showed me with Her fingers -- only about three inches went it.  

But She perservered and i perservered, and eventually -- with some gaging -- i was able to take about six inches (i think).  

Mistress clearly intends that i should be a good cocksucker and proper deep-throater some day. i will enjoy doing that under Her supervision and according to Her commands. i will want to put on a good show for Her. 

Her second 'experiment' involved a vacuum pump -- which was a 'first' for both Her and me.  

She applied some lubricant to the bottom of the clear plastic cylinder, so that a good seal would be formed around my cock. And then She began to pump the air out of the cylinder.  

As She did, my cock began to swell and swell and swell, both against the sides of the cylinder and outward toward the end of the cylinder. It looked really, really weird. And it was a little frightening (because i though my cock might burst!) and more than a little painful as the cylinder dug into my groin.  

What's important though is that the experiment seemed to please Mistress a great deal. 

But what She did next was ten times weirder! She applied the cylinder to the scrotum over one of my balls, and began to pump out the air.  

And She seemed delighted when my ball sac was seemingly 'inflated' and ELONGATED HUGELY inside the cylinder.  

i myself was fascincated because the sight was stranger than i could possibly imagine. i even suggested that Mistress should give a demo of this effect to the other Mistresses.  

At least She took photos -- which i haven't seen yet, although perhaps the other Mistresses have -- and expressed the wish that She would like to make a video of this someday. 

Mistress also felt in the mood to advance Her skill with the TENS unit, and in TWO sessions this weekend She tied me naked and spreadeagled to the bed, and carefully tried different pads and different placements on my cock and balls to see what different effects She could produce in her test subject (namely, me!).  

She has me blindfolded during these sessions so that i have no visual input and can only concentrate on the shocks passing through my genitals.  

And when She leaves me 'parked' 'to meditate on my submissiveness,' the thump, thump, thump, thump, thump of the electricity up my cock and/or through my balls sends me deep into subspace.  

The second time She left me this way, however, the thump series was ending with a THUMP in my right testicle, over and over again, and it became so painful that i had to wimp out and cry out for my Mistresses to stop it. It was like getting knee-ed repeatedly in the balls.  

Mercifully, She did release me, but not until i was totally reduced to a quivering mass of male submissiveness, totally worshipful of Her. 

And i tried to express a small portion of my gratitude to Mistress by giving Her a massage and several pussy lickings, into which i poured all my submissive devotion and adoration.

Mistress is still away from home -- but not for much longer. (Thank the Goddess!)

Meanwhile, however, She has ordered me to write another fantasy journal entry for Her amusement.

So here goes...

i was kneeling before my Mistress. And i was naked except for a blindfold AND a pretty red bow tied tightly around my package.

"Pathetic!" She said. "Simply pathetic!"

i could only guess what She was talking about. i figured She was referring to my limp dick.

She continued, "I think it's stage-shy."

The laughter behind me made me all the more aware that W/we weren't alone: three other Mistresses had come over for some conversation and amusement.

To me:  "You're not much of an exhibitionist, are you, dildo? Well, We will need to change that. Stay on your knees, and turn around."

Obediently, i rotated so that i was now kneeling facing the three unseen Mistresses. i could feel their eyes on my crotch, and my cock shrunk up even more. More laughter.

Mistress to me:  "With a cock that small, you can hardly be classified as a man, dildo. No, of course, you are not a man, you are a sub. Well, subs exist to entertain Superior Women. So you, dildo, are going to entertain Us."

i began to tremble.

"Play with yourself, dildo, in front of the Ladies. Let Us see if you can make your little prick hard. Let Us see how big you can make it. But no cumming, do you understand?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Then go ahead, do it, dildo!"

i could hardly bear to bring my hand to my cock and to begin stroking it. The Ladies were laughing at my shyness and my humiliation.

"Do it, dildo!" Mistress said more loudly.

"Do it, dildo!" echoed the other Women.

i had to focus, and i had to find a sexy fantasy that would arose me. So, behind my blindfold, i imagined that i was licking my Mistress' asshole and listening to Her sighs of pleasure. 

Then i felt my cock growing in my hand, and i began to stroke more rapidly and to pull as well on my floppy balls. Soon i began to lose myself in the pleasure.

Mistress:  "Stop! Take your hands away."

i obeyed immmediately -- but with difficulty. i wanted to show how well my Mistress has trained me.

"Let Us take a look. Hmmmmm, that's better, a little bigger. Now swing your cock up-and-down and side-to-side for Us, dildo."

And i swung my hips, and i thrust foward and backward, to deliver the desired effect. i heard much laughter from Mistress and the other Women.

"Now spread your legs, dildo. Grap your cock again, and show Us how you can make your balls dance. Do it, dildo. Give Us a good show."

"Do it, dildo," echoed the other Women.

So, stoking the lower part of the shaft of my cock, i struck my fist into my ball sac
and made my testicles slap loudly against my thighs again and again. It hurt, but the spectacle seemed to amuse the Ladies.

"This is why they call a dance "a ball,"" laughed one of them.

Mistress:  "Now, dildo, I'm going to let you come. Play with yourself how you want, and beg Me nicely to come when You're ready."

i was too "gone" by this time to be shy or ashamed. i just wanted to come. After all, i had been in the cock cage FOR AGES. So, oblivious to the fact that i was being watched by Superior Women, i pulled on my cock faster and faster, and harder and harder, until i was ready to burst.

Me: "Mistress, please, please, please, may i come now, please?"

Mistress: "I want you to come on this plate, dildo, and i want to hear you roar like a lion when you come. Come when you are ready."

i felt a plate being pressed into my left hand. i took it and held it in front of my cock. And then i wanked as hard and as fast as i could.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!," i screamed as i felt the cum surging up from inside me and making its way up and out of my pisshole and onto the plate.

i nearly fainted. For several minutes no one made a sound. Then...

"Lick it up, dildo. Lick up your cum from the plate. You know it has to go back inside. Show the Ladies what a depraved and obedient submissive you are. Lick it all up."

And, obediently, i did, knowing that all eyes were on me and juding the depth of my submission.

Mistress is away for a couple of weeks. Not to be denied one of her regular pleasures, however, She has ordered me to write a FANTASY journal entry to keep Her amused. (i suppose this is also one way that a Mistress infiltrates the headspace of a sub.)

So, here goes...A HALLOWEEN FANTASY....

Early Halloween evening i knocked on the door of Mistress' home, and waited for Her command to enter. She usually calls out from inside for me to open the door, but this time She surprised me by appearing on the threshold. The first of many surprises.

"Trick or treat," i called out.

"Trick AND treat," She responded. 

Her modification to the traditional greeting perplexed me, but i let it pass.

Then, while i was still standing there, She put a blindfold on me, and guided me inside.

"Strip!" She commanded, and, blindly, i began to undress.

"Hold there, dildo," She said when i had reduced my clothing to only my underwear. "I want to savor seeing you in your cute pink panties."

Then, after a minute, "Resume." 

And quickly i was standing, blindly, wearing only my cock cage and a red bow around my package. She left me standing there like that for a while.

"Hands behind your back," She snapped.

And i stood patiently -- as a submissive should -- while She put cuffs on me and fastened them together.

But then i was pleasantly surprised as i felt Her unlocking and removing my cock cage.

As my cock rejoiced at its sudden and unexpeded freedom, Mistress said only, "I like to see how your cock reacts to what I do. The cock never lies."

"Kneel."  And, hands tied and eyes blindfolded, i kneeled for Her -- as a submissive should.

Then i was surprised to feel Her hand behind my head and pushing it forward. Immediately my lips came into contact with something. i didn't know what.

"Kiss it," She said. So, i puckered my lips and kissed whatever it was.

Then suddenly i KNEW -- i was kissing the head of somebody's cock!

"There's your trick!" Mistress crowed. And She laughed and laughed -- i suppose at the shocked look on my face.

"Now lick it." 

And slowly i stuck out my tongue and began delicately to take a short lick.

"No, lap at it," She commanded firmly.

And so, obediently, i began to lap at the cock -- my first taste of cock, a long-standing fantasy of mine.

Soon, under the ministrations of my tongue, i could feel the cock begin to stiffen.

"Now take the cock head in your mouth and suck on it." 

i did as i was ordered, and soon the cock was almost "at full mast" right in my face.

Again i felt Mistress' hand pressing on the back of my head. "Take it in deeper," She said, "In and out." 

And She pushed my head forward onto the shaft. Then i pulled back -- and She pushed me forward again. In and out.

"Keep going," She said sweetly. "And don't stop until your chin hits his balls and your nose hits his belly."

Clearly, Mistress wanted to see if i could do "deepthroat," but the cock was already hitting the back of my throat, and i was beginning to gag.

Suddenly, and incongruously, i recalled reading recently how human anatomy differs from that of most animals in that people can't breathe and swallow at the same time. So i figured that i needed to alternate breathing and swallowing. And after a few fits of gagging, my chin and nose reached their assigned goals.

"Hold there," She commanded. "Time to take some pictures! For the record." 

And even behind the blindfold i could see the repeated flash of Her camera.

"You look so ridiculous with a cock in your mouth, dildo!" She laughed. "Now you are officially a cocksucker!"

But She wasn't finished. And Her tone changed completely from lighthearted to stern.

"Now suck him off. I want to see him come in your mouth, and he does have permission to come in your mouth."

Then with Mistress' hand pushing my head forward from behind, and with the other sub pushing his cock forward from in front, i sucked and bobbed as fast as i could. 

And it wasn't long before i heard a loud expulsion of breath from the sub whose cock i was madly sucking, and i knew he was cumming.

As he pushed his cock as deep as he could down my throat and held it there, and as Mistress held my head steady from behind, i tasted the rush of cum into my mouth.

W/we were all frozen like that for a couple of minutes, each of U/us savoring what had happened.

Finally, Mistress released my head, and said, "Show me!"

Guessing what She meant, i removed my mouth from the now wilting cock, and opened wide so that She could see the white stuff in my mouth.

"Good boy," She said to praise me. "Now you can have your treat:  Swallow!"

i did, and She removed my blindfold. "So, you have had your trick AND you have had your treat!  Did you enjoy your Halloween candy, dildo?  Next time, you are going to take it up your ass."

i want quickly and promptly to complete my journal entry for last weekend, because Mistress is going away for a couple of weeks. (And She is leaving me all locked up!)

This last weekend was, then, the last for a while -- but what a weekend it was!

i like very much to give over my body -- every part of it -- to my Mistress as a playground. She, in the spirit of childhood fun, likes to call my body her "sandbox." And She played in the sandbox a lot this weekend.

First of all, She seemed to have a great deal of fun playing with hot wax.

She had prepared a large container of melted wax. This container is used essentially for treating hands or feet with hot wax, i think, but it is easily "pervertable."

And She covered the large "island" in Her kitchen with a pad and an old sheet. 

Then She had me lie on my back, naked, on the island, under lights hanging down from the ceiling, all the better to illuminate Her work.

Spreading my legs, She put the container of wax between my feet. Then using a brush to dip out the hot wax, She proceeded to play, using my body as Her canvas.

She dripped the wax up and down my body, onto my very sensitive nipples, and into the armspits of my raised arms.

Then She began to paint my pubic area with a thick layer of wax. And as She used up more and more wax from the container, what wax was left for Her to use was progressively hotter and hotter, being closer to the heating element, i suppose.

She reserved the hottest wax for application first to my scrotum, then to the shaft of my penis, and finally to the glans at the tip.

The result -- from my point of view -- was quite searing (and stimulating!), and, in fact, Mistress remarked that everywhere the wax touched on my body turned red with a low grade of burn.

Mistress seemed to enjoy creating her "living art work," and at one point i think i heard Her humming to Herself happily as She worked -- or should i say "played"?  

i am so very pleased to be part of Her "arts and crafts." She has such a great imagination! And, by the way, She took some great photos this weekend. The one taken when She had me wear my red panties on my head is a riot!

Later i suggested to Her that the use of a variety of colors of wax might enhance Her creative possibilities, and that waxing a sub might be a fun thing to do at a party of Dommes. She agreed, saying that each Domme could use a different color candle.

The only downside to this sort of waxing is the clean-up afterward -- the clean-up of the sub, and the clean-up of the play area. W/we resolved to use next time something disposable to cover the play space.

Then Sunday, going to "the sandbox" to play again, Mistress secured me naked and spreadeagled to the bed in the guest bedroom. She blindfolded me so that i could only feel -- but not see -- what was happening.

i could feel Her working carefully and methodically to attach the electrodes of Her Tens unit to my cock and balls. She did this in such a way that, when She turned it on, an arc of shocks radiated up from the base of my balls to the very tip of my cock.

i felt a ripple of sensation starting low and deep in my balls, then moving quickly up the length of my cock -- a little stronger at each successive point in the arc -- and finally culminating with the greatest shock right inside the head of my cock. The feeling is really right INSIDE the penis.

And this arc of shocks just keep repeating again and again and again, as Mistress left me that way for i do not know how long. i was rolling my head from side to side like a maniac, and crying out each time the shock hit the end of my cock. Later, Mistress said that, as long as She could hear my moaning, she knew i was OK.

When She finally turned off the Tens unit, removed the electrodes, and untied me, i was deep, deep in sub-space. And just when i thought i was coming out of it, the whole length of my body -- starting with my feet and spreading upward --started to shake uncontrollably, and i felt a great catharsis and began to cry, just a little bit. i reached out my arms to Mistress, and She held me until i had recovered. Such a moment of utter vulnerability is very special.

And W/we had YET ANOTHER very special moment.

You see, every weekend i always spend a great deal of time pleasuring Mistress with my head between Her thighs. Typically at such times, my cock is in its chastity cage, so that there is no question but that this pleasuring is ONLY for Mistress.

Well, i can't describe exactly what happened this time, because the essence of it was actually more on the side of Mistress. But as best i can describe what happened, based on what She told me, is that Mistress truly felt that i -- Her sub -- was truly adoring/worshipping Her clitoris as a great symbol of Her dominance and of my submission. Perhaps She could see -- indeed She usually watches in a mirror -- how truly reverently and submissively my tongue and mouth were caressing Her there and dying to give Her pleasure.

That's the best i can explain it. For more explanation, or a better explanation, you'll need to ask Her.

So, do W/we have fun -- or what?

If i write my journal entry for the week before Mistress needs to nag me about it, perhaps She will give me "extra credit."  (i can hope.)

She has now developed a ritual for how i am to enter Her home each time i arrive. i must arrive on time, knock on the door, wait for Her permission to enter, enter and lock the door, take off my shoes, kneel, and wait for Her summons. When She gives the command "Come here!," i crawl to where She is sitting and lay my head submissively in Her lap. Then, as She strokes my head, i -- like a good pet -- wait for Her further commands.

Often so far, She orders me to strip. And this time i planned a surprise for Her, because, under my red satin panties, i had tied a nice bow of red ribbon around my "package" and around my cock cage. She seemed very pleased with this decoration of me, and i think She wants me to continue it. The bow will surely humiliate me in front of other Mistresses and sub-males.

Then after i'm naked, She usually has me attach the electric dog collar so that the electrodes fit under my balls. She likes to take me out shopping this way, so that She can shock me at unexpected moments. Being unexpected, the jolt always makes me yelp out loud. People stare, and Mistress chortles. i hate this collar -- but i love to amuse my Mistress.

Mistress often also sticks something up my ass before W/we go out, so that i can feel it up my ass as i walk. This week She inserted a dildo, BUT then She shocked me, and the shock caused me to tighten my sphincter -- and out shot the dildo! (It's a good thing that D/s always involves a great deal of gross, adult humor!) Anyway, W/we learned that shock collar and dildo are not a viable combination. Instead She stuffed two big anal balls up my ass. Unlike a dildo, they go securely all the way in beyond the sphincter (and they sort of vibrate naturally when i walk). What sticks out of me -- like a tampon string -- is a loop of cord attached to the balls. To remove the balls, one simply pulls -- slowly -- on the loop.

And speaking of shopping and collars, this weekend Mistress took me to two pet stores where She picked out a very, very nice black leather dog collar with silver studs. The studs alternate between flat ones and sharp protruding ones. (Wearing this collar, i feel completely safe from vampire bites!)

Mistress also used one of those dog tag engraving machines to create a round, golden pendant for my collar. The pendant tag reads, "DILDO/PROPERTY OF/MISTRESS......" (The machine engraves only capital letters, so my sub name "dildo" is -- inappropriately -- in caps; and i omit here my Mistress' name out of an abundance of discretion.) Anyway, i feel so proud and happy to wear this collar and this tag for my Mistress, and i can't wait to be shown wearing it to other Mistresses and subs. (Other subs will be so jealous!) i think Mistress wants to plan a public collaring ceremony for later in the year.

This weekend, Mistress also continued Her experiments with "figging." She was under the impression that the cut ginger would gain potency with ageing. But that turned out not to be the case. She had me lie facedown on the massage table, stuck a big "finger" of ginger up my ass, tied my hands behind my back, and tied my legs together so that my ass cheeks -- already reddend by Her -- were tight together tightly confining the ginger root. Then She left me there "to contemplate the experience and my submissiveness." During such enforced meditations, i usually go into sub-space.

The burning intensity of the ginger built up slowly to a steady and high level -- but no worse than last week. Still, make no mistake:  IT HURT! And only rocking side-to-side and humping the table underneath me allowed me the smallest bit of relief.

When She finally let me up, i foolishly asked Her to try once again putting a bit of ginger up the pisshole of my cock. This was really foolish on my part, but i felt guilty that i hadn't tolerated it well the week before. Mistress was careful -- as She always is -- in this case to cut a small and smooth sliver of ginger, but when She inserted it into my cock, i screamed and nearly went through the roof! But i bit my lips and endured it.

Mistress hypothesizes that a fresh cutting or shaving of the root brings out whatever juice it is that makes ginger hot. She took some very nice pictures of the ginger sticking out of my prick. Good momentos for Her -- and for me. Maybe She'll show them to the other Mistresses.

As usual this weekend, W/we watched a couple of movies in O/our downtime -- two serious dramas and one cult classic, "Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS." Unfortunately though, W/we ran out of time for Mistress's massage. She will surely expect an especially long massage -- or two -- next weekend. But it's not as if She was deprived, since, as usual, She had her bedtime and morning orgasms from my tongue -- while She allowed me none, again, and i am locked up, again.

i sense that my Mistress is getting impatient to see my journal entry for last weekend, so i had better hop to it.

Saturday night Mistress hosted another small gathering of Femdom people -- three Mistresses (including Herself) and two sub-males. Much gleeful laughter was enjoyed by the Women while the subs was divested of their clothing and subjected to a fair amount of shocking on their balls from the electric dog collar, plus significant abuse on their asses.

my Mistress was particularly amused, i think, by how the two subs were so eager to have the dog collar taken off and applied to THE OTHER SUB. Obviously, there is no solidarity among subs when it comes to such torment, i am ashamed to admit!

Each Mistress seems to have Her favorite slapper, whip, or flogger. The sound of the instrument on the male ass and the reaction of the pained male sub seems to fascinate these strong Women. i for one am very pleased to be a toy for Their amusement.

In fact, my Mistress gave the other Mistresses a demonstration on how She fucks me up the cock with the short vibrating sound. She had me lay naked on Her bed, and, with all the others gathered around, She showed Them how She keeps the sound disinfected and how She lubricates it. Then, slowly and carefully, She inserted the rod up my cock and fucked me in and out with it for the longest time. i had my eyes closed and i was fully engaged with the strange feeling of being fucked there, so i do not really know the reaction of the other Dommes. But i could vaguely hear Them asking questions, and Mistress says They were quite impressed.

i think, however, that my Mistress is a little disappointed that my cock -- which is always erect for Her when W/we are alone -- does not get so hard when there are others around. She and i have noticed this same phenomenon before, for example at play parties. She hypothesizes that i am too distracted by the presence of others. i think my cock is "stage shy." Maybe i just need to get more focused and listen only to Her voice. i am sort of worried about how my cock will respond when She finally trains me with other sub-males. Will it get hard if another sub is playing with it or sucking it? Or when i am playing with the cock of the other sub or sucking his? Cocks are unpre-DIC-able things!

Sunday, when W/we were alone again, Mistress administered the counterpoint to my cock-fucking of the previous day. She used a graduated dildo to fuck me long and hard up the ass. i actually loved being fucked by Her, and i think She enjoys using a man this way and watching his "man-pussy" being penetrated over and over again. The act is just so dominant on Her part, and so just so submissive on my part.

Then, later in the day, Mistress gave me a great treat, because, after a whole month in chastity, She allowed me to come! She had me kneel naked in front of Her; She gave me dish in which to catch my cum; and She let me play with myself. i had no problem humiliating myself in front of Her by jerking myself and coming, simply because i was so horny. Still, i had enough presence of mind to make a good show for Her. So, as i pulled on my cock, i caused my balls to swing every which way and to slap loudly against my thighs. Then, when i felt that the dam was about to burst, i asked for permission to come, and Mistress generously granted it. And when i came, i literally roared like a lion -- three times, i think, although i can not be sure since i was pretty delirious. Mistress gave me a few minutes to enjoy the afterglow of my orgasm -- She did not spoil it after all. But i knew that She was expecting me to lick up my cum from the dish, so -- uncommanded -- i did, lapping it up little-by-little, so that She could see how submissive i still was. She took lots of photos, but i have not seen them. i wonder if She will show them to the other Dommes? Maybe if my cock plays Mr. Softee again at the next gathering, She will have me play with myself until i am hard in front of Them. After all, She has a wicked sense of amusement -- which i love!

Well, one orgasm in four weeks did not totally empty my balls. Tough luck for me, i guess, because Mistress sent me away for the week with the rooster back in the old cock cage again.

my Mistress is coming to visit for a whole week!  For the first time in my life i will be a 24/7 submissive!

So what do i anticipate for this week?  Well, Mistress has asked me to write out my dreams and my fantasies for Her, and to post my most intimate thoughts here in this public journal.  This public posting will be more than a little embarrassing, i think.  (But i do love humiliation at Her hands!)

Well, first of all, i want to make the week as enjoyable as possible for Mistress.  i’ve been cleaning house for two days now, so that She will be comfortable.  i’ve put satin sheets on the bed, and i’ve scrubbed out the tub.  i look forward to drawing Her a refreshing bubble bath each day, and i look forward to massaging Her as often as She wants.  i have two massage tables – one outdoors on the back deck, and one in the upstairs bedroom:   i wonder if She might like dozing in the warm air outdoors while i massage her. 

i expect that She might also like to have a little tour around this area.  i’ll offer to make up a picnic to take down to the lake.  And maybe She might like to go for a swim. Alternatively, if She’s feeling like a little hike, i can take Her down to the waterfall.  (i like soaking in the pool at the foot of the waterfall, even though the spring-fed creek is rather cold.)

i know She likes movies, and She’s impressed with my digital light projector and huge screen.  So maybe i should pick out a selection of movies from which She can make the final choice.  Last time She was here, i know She enjoyed having my head between Her legs and having me slowly lick her there, while She watched the movie.  (i hope She’ll want that again!)  She also said something about my worshipping Her pussy while She works on the computer.

Of course, while i think of making Her comfortable, i don’t suppose She’s thinking the same thing in my regard.  Just the opposite, i hope!  i know that Her first preference is for sensuous domination, but maybe this time -- since W/we have a whole week together -- She’ll be uncharacteristically firm and strict with me.  In fact, i hope She’ll be downright cruel – although this is not Her true nature.  i would be so proud to have a really red ass all week long, and really sore balls, too.  i think it pleases Her to play with my balls, and She has been training me never, ever, to close my legs.  She doesn’t want to damage her toys, but the fact is that my balls could take a lot more abuse – just not really hard blows. Over time, slaps of medium force leave my balls very pleasantly sore. (i love the soreness as a memento of Her!)  And when She denies me orgasms, i love how full and heavy my balls feel.

Mistress is, above all, an extraordinarily kind person. But i hope She will find it amusing to be really unkind to me from time to time.  i really crave humiliation at her hands -- in private and in public. Maybe She’ll begin to abuse me verbally.  Maybe She’ll take me shopping for panties.  Maybe She’ll have me put lipstick on my nipples and on the end of my cock.  (i can hope!)

For sure, i think that She will want to lead me around by a leash fastened around my cock and balls  – especially out of doors on my trail!  And I’m pretty sure She’ll expect me to lick her asshole again.  She’s also been hinting that i should expect to be pissed on, or to drink Her piss, or my own piss.  (After all, this hot weather is certainly the season for drinking beer!)  She also said something about making me use my cum as a dressing on my salad at dinner. Yum!  (Mistress always makes me eat my cum as an essential element in my training, since one’s submissiveness always tends to recede immediately after orgasm.)

And, since She’s been instructing me to stretch my asshole, i guess i should expect Her to be using Her strap-on.  (Actually, the very first time W/we met, She said that She looked forward to fucking me up the ass!)  So, i’d better give myself an enema each day She’s here.

Anyway, whatever She commands me to do, i shall do.  Who knows what surprises She might come up with?  i just hope that She’ll really put my submissiveness to the test, and really, really push the envelope for me.  i want Her to feel Her power over me.  i want Her to have a really, really good time in that mystical head-space where Mistresses go to be happy.  And i want to be taken as deeply as possible, and for as long as possible, into that magical land where male submissives like me go to feel owned and used.